My Heart Hurts
1. I need to take a break from my friendship with Kasey Renea. I just cause more problems for her and Jovane, and I do not fit into Jovane's vision of what the world should be or should embrace. I respect that. But I can't come to terms with it, so I am going to take some time out and get it into my head that Kasey not only will never be mine again, but never was to begin with.
2. I need to leave Mexican Salad Bar. Nico wants out, as I hear it from a friend. I do not think I will be able to balance AP History, AP English, Radford band, All State band, my relationship with Samantha (The most important thing listed here) and the random disasters and miracles of life as it is. The band, although fun, is going over. It is going to hurt, and my life will be less of a life without rocking. But this year is a year for drudgery. This year I revert back into an animal and struggle for my own survival. I will live hand to mouth on whatever I can find, and milk the joy out of whatever I can. I will have to live harder and faster than ever before because time is at a premium I am too much of a bum to pay for.
Time. You civilian kids have fun nestled in your beds every night in the house you have lived in since you were sucking your mom's breasts. When you wake up, you can go play with the friends that you have gone to Scouts, church, football, baseball, soccer, camp, school, Confirmation, band, concerts, gigs, bars, clubs, parties, movies, shops, eateries, towns, states and worlds with. Then you could chill out with your parents, as they are generally there all the time. You know everybody in your town and everybody knows you. Friendships are deep, and relationships are deeper still. Thank the God that you live this life. Thank the God that you don't live your life with one finger on the reset button, your bags packed, and your heart broken.
2. I need to leave Mexican Salad Bar. Nico wants out, as I hear it from a friend. I do not think I will be able to balance AP History, AP English, Radford band, All State band, my relationship with Samantha (The most important thing listed here) and the random disasters and miracles of life as it is. The band, although fun, is going over. It is going to hurt, and my life will be less of a life without rocking. But this year is a year for drudgery. This year I revert back into an animal and struggle for my own survival. I will live hand to mouth on whatever I can find, and milk the joy out of whatever I can. I will have to live harder and faster than ever before because time is at a premium I am too much of a bum to pay for.
Time. You civilian kids have fun nestled in your beds every night in the house you have lived in since you were sucking your mom's breasts. When you wake up, you can go play with the friends that you have gone to Scouts, church, football, baseball, soccer, camp, school, Confirmation, band, concerts, gigs, bars, clubs, parties, movies, shops, eateries, towns, states and worlds with. Then you could chill out with your parents, as they are generally there all the time. You know everybody in your town and everybody knows you. Friendships are deep, and relationships are deeper still. Thank the God that you live this life. Thank the God that you don't live your life with one finger on the reset button, your bags packed, and your heart broken.