tastebuddies: FISHSTICKS and TARTAR SAUCE Edition: 2/10/24
Eric monologuing. Explaining why he asked Emma to type up these entries. "i am a lazy person."
Here we gooooooooo. Here we go, one more time, everybody’s feelin’ fine, here we go now! (Name that song.) Playing in the background: Harry Potter. Currently eating: quesadilla and orange julius. Currently hanging out with: Kobe-boy.
Rita and Kobe singing The Cheese Tax.
It was really awesome to hang out in Ohio for a few weeks while I recover from foot surgery. What better way to celebrate being home than TASTEBUDDIES? I think we need new shirts - not a new logo, just make shirts again. My shirt became unwearable a few years ago and it’s now in a t-shirt quilt.
BUT now to the test.
The TARTAR samples. I felt a little weird asking White Castle's for 20 packs of tartar. The worker told me that Frischs was going to win. She was correct.
This taste test was FEESHSTIX and TARTAR. We had a discussion about what kind of fishsticks were allowed in and how to taste test the tartar sauce. We decided that fishsticks were much better with tartar sauce so we had to figure out the sauce first. Of course, most of us thought Frischs would be the top winner. So let’s read if we ended up being right!
FIRST UP, the sauce. The sauce was tasted with either a spoon OR a potato scallop (mom’s homemade ones which are great with ketchup, ranch, tartar, or plain).
DIVIED UP.
THERE IS A TIE.
6. DUKES 14/45 Too much vinegar. First edible one. Still not great. I just…do I even like food?! A bit better than sample 2 - kind of watery. Not enough volume and too thin of a consistency. Hardly any flavor. Yikes. Sweet relish, sweet, not good. Yuck! I had big expectations based on the appearance but the flavor is so gross. Belongs in the trash. Salty, pickely - no thanks. Left my mouth feeling waxy, but not waxy enough to stop the bad aftertaste 2 rude. I despise this one.
5. ARBYS 22/45 Too smooth, not enough pickle. Sour? Initially, disgusted. Then, disappointed. Taste like mayo gone bad. Smooth. Sweet. Too much like straight mayonnaise. Not enough flavor and a bit too creamy of a texture. Needs more spices and a denser volume. Lemon flavor, little bit sweet. Tastes like a lot of dill but not a lot of dill in sight. Not very good. Sweet. Creamy, I don’t like relish. RUUUUUULLLL tasty. Almost pungent even. Solid sauce. Tastes like sweetart. More dill than pickle.
3. KRAFT 24/45 Too much pickle. No smell?! No real taste. But tons of PACKLE taste after?! I don’t want to ruin scallops with this CRAP. Has some zing and a briny aftertaste. Very satisfying. Thick texture with a bold tartar tast-buds punch. Strong dill pickle flavor. Very sweet. Would not order again. Very pickley. Holy garlic! This is just ok. Just like the kid who got off the bus, went straight to his mom and said “Terrible tartar sandwich mom, really tewwible.”no no no.
3. INGLEHOFFER 24/45 Yuck, glad we are done. Ok. I’ll eat this one. Tangy and has actual flavor. Best of the lot. I cleaned out the cup. Authentic tartar sauce flavor. Nice solid consistency. Would recommend. Lots of herbs. Can only taste herbs. Good appearance. Decent flavor. Would be better on fish. This is good. Is that dill? Onion? Id eat again.A little 2 onion forward. I think we just went to rumpky.
2. WHITE CASTLE 25/45 Bland. Looks BAD. But its smooth. I don’t know. Maybe tartar sauce is only good with fish. Might as well use plain mayonnaise. Where’s the pickle taste? Nice thick texture. Could use a bit more flavor, but I could see this as a runnerup. Very sweet. Good flavor. Would be good with fish. Doesn’t taste like much - thank goodness. Maybe I don’t like tartar sauce. Bright, citrusy, refreshing. Worst thing I have every eaten.
1. FRISCHS 34/45 Getting better! Spencer! TABLE TALK! On my goodness. This deserves a ZERO. GAG! Much like sample 3. Ok but I couldn’t buy this. Not good. I would leave a bad yelp review after eating this. Bad taste. Dill pickle, sour, good. Tastes like Frischs. Yumm! Best overall! I love this one! Classic, mild. NOT SWEET! This one may be the best. Love the oniony taste?? Well balanced sauce!! Pretty good.
Ok. I have to comment on the results here. I am a Frischs FAN! I love everything I’ve had there from chicken fried steak to the salad bar. And on more than one occasion I had taken tartar sauce back to Utah or Idaho. Never in my dreams did I think I HATED Frischs tartar sauce. It was so nasty I can’t even comprehend that I had the same tartar sauce as everyone else. I stand by my comments and I’d rather have no tartar sauce than every have Frischs tartar sauce again.
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s go on to the main event! We did make a small error here that the fishsticks cooled off a bit so they weren’t as CRISPY as most of us would’ve liked. But we still had a great time.
FEEEEEEESHSTICKS
FISHSTICKS NO TIES
6. GORTONS 10/45 Is this fish or chicken? Bland. Bland. Lemon-y tho? Weirdly chewy. Consistency of rubber. No taste. Small size. Salt helped the taste. No fish flavor whatsoever. Not enjoyable even with tartar sauce. Can only taste breading, not good aftertaste. Not a lot of flavor. Almost tasted semi-sweet. Not even tartar sauce could save this. Tastes like nothing. Did I just have no so crunchy air? There is something black in mine.
5. IANS 13/45 Good fish flavor, but coating not so good. Good CRUNCH. But weird taste. SO dry. Nevermind. It’s gross. Small, tasteless. Dried up inside. Not good. No tartar sauce could improve this. On odd lemony taste. Breading does not taste good. No spices/seasonings used. Smells like a corndog, only aftertaste of fish. Gross. I’m starting to think I hate fish. Good crunch, fish tastes good. That was not great. Very crusty and thin.
4. KROGER 15/45 So, so - does this come from the school cafeteria?? Weird texture. Needs flavor. Cardboard. I’m ready for BANANA CREAM PIE! Ditto. I think the same supplier has made most of these “authentic” oceanside fish sticks. “Sticks” is right. Not impressed but slightly better than the others so far, still wouldn’t buy these. Does not taste like fish to me. Crispy outer layer but not much fish flavor inside. These are fine. This was also not great. Weird after taste.
3. VAN DE KAMPS 19/45 Not bad, average, cafeteria-style. Chicken or fish? It’s FINE. I would eat these, but with a good tartar sauce. Nice and crunch tho. Nice breading. Stick was very dry. Not much fish taste. Is there fish somewhere in this? Way too much breading. Bland taste. Only taste breading with fish aftertaste. A lot of breading but not a lot of fish. Looks like a motz stick. Little flavor, chewy. Not a great start. This isn’t going to go well. Bland. Pretty good.
2. ARBYS 31/45 Yum, could use some Frisch’s tartar sauce. Where’s the CRUNCH?? Eh. Dry. Generous size, tasty breading. Flaky fish with good taste. Tastes decently like real fish. A bit light on the breading. Indifferent. Like the corn meal crust, more fish to crust. Lightly breaded nice savory flavor. Good fish flavor, I like the breading. Better than the first. Could be more crisp on the breading. They are using some suspicious fish.
1. COSTCO 32/45 Nice amount of fish, but bland. Real fish flavor. Ok. This is gret. Might as well cook tree bark. Generous portion but absolutely taste like mush - awful. Hardly any fish taste but there is m ore fish in this one than the others. Light breading, more fish. Yum love the flavor but wish it was a little more crispy. Good bread to fish ratio. Good with Frischs tartar sauce. I ate the whole thing. Would love to eat again. I thought that this was going to be the best, but I wasn’t ready for the aftertaste. Bad smell.
Spencer and Amanda discussing their differing opinions.
There you have it! I did walk away from this taste test a touch disappointed. Do I even like tartar sauce? Do I even like fishsticks?? If we do fish any other time, it better be at the beach.
THE FAMILY.
Signing off here,
Emmers