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i am rocking out to metellica... for whom the bells toll.. blah blah.. good song.. hahaha but yea.. i was talking to wes last nite.. omg.. k.. i know i have been like bouncing back and forth to him and wayner.. but.. they are equally nice guys.. i know i rant and rave about wes.. but there is a side obviously no one really knows but me.. hahaha since i am the only one who has spent anytime with him.. there is this major connection with him i can't explain it.. we are like complete when we are together.. he and i can like finish each other thoughts/sentences and stuff.. in person.. and there is like this manimaall attraction thingy.. u know.. chemistry.. and we just get each other.. we know what it feels like to be NOT wanted in the werld and stuff we got that u know.. cuz face it ppl.. i was born on sept.26.78. and i was alone in the werld NO love no hugs no cuddles for two weeks.. i was two weeks old when i first found out what love was.. no doubt i have trouble holding onto while i got it.. no doubt i have the idea that i don't deserve it.. no doubt i have found that with wes my american guy.. he has taught me that i can be loved just the way i am.. he knows my everything and i know his.. to him i am his almost everything.. other then is son i am the important thing in his life.. he called me some quality woman.. hahaha i don't believe that of course.. hahaha .. but hey.. hez such a nice guy that even before we kiss he asks.. u know.. how many guys will do that?.. he asks before he will like hug me.. or touch me wutsoeva.. gentlemanly like u know.. old fashioned.. i dunno.. but yea.. hez such a nice guy.. omg.. and here i am flirtN with wayner.. almost cheatN on him with wayne.. but.. if wayne was that guy.. local guy vs. american guy.. i think the american guy is gonna win out on the end of things.. he offers me love and a future.. local guy can just offer me a nice nite of pure fuckN.. hahaha hez a great lay but damn.. i want the future thatz being offered to me.. even if i have to move to tacoma i just might.. u know... how emo am i tonite... oh and discovered i like some of the clowns online.. i found a couple of things.. hahaha but yea.. i am only scurred on ONE clown.. that one who is on steven kings movie... PENNYWISE!!!!!! omg.. k maybe i need to see that movie again er something.. but hmm nah... ok... wuteva.. neway.. i am still rocking out to metellica.. i am gonna go watch a movie in a lil bit.. so yea.. laterz!! ttylz