i dont give up that easily...
"i dont give up that easily", i say....
"not giving up..take a break...", she responds
"its all the same to me...."
i think back to this mornings conversation during our trash run. a few months ago, that would have sent me into a tailspin. now i just dont care. well, i care about me...my dream...and achieving it. i dont care if someone doesnt believe in me...i dont care if no one believes in me...however, i know thats not true...there are atleast 5 of you out there ;) and my answer to her first question, i dont give up that easily...thats what it all boils down to. i just dont. my first attepmt didnt work out...so it became, do you really want to do this? and the answer was still yes...so how do you do this...go there..so i did. and now try...and try...and try again. if ive learned anything with these people, its that it aint ever gonna be easy.... everything is a fight...but it just makes victory so much sweeter. its the reason i changed majors....its the reason i kept going when i had every reason to stop...its the reason i gave up everything....so yes, i am going to keep at it until i get in and no...im not going to stop..cease..wait in anyway..cause every missed opportunity could be MY opportunity.
people will never cease to amaze me....its interesting that people i havent known that long seem to have my back...today when i get a manager asking me if im still going to be around next week or if im going to corporate...and when i say i still dont have a job there, he tells me i should be schmoozing with the corporate types that come in to the store all the time...and im like they dont want to talk to me...and what exactly would i say? and then jayne steps in to save me..."and thats why youve gotten where you are?" i never saw it coming :) and its really interesting when all you need is for your friend to be just that, your friend. and they seem to miss that...jumps out and smacks them in the face, yet they still miss it. and all they give you is a way to stab another friend in the back. i guess im finally figuring out whos really there. those who dont have to return phone calls, b/c they call on their own. those who are there when you need them...and seem to know exactly what to say....
i got my vacation approved. which means come september, brian and i will be driving across the country together. i cant wait...its going to be a long drive...but well make it fun. i cant wait for him to be out here....and we will be able to see eachother all the time :) i think thats all for now...i figured it was time for a nice update ;) *sigh* so tired....but thats ok cause i can sleep in tomorrow cause i dont have to be at work til 1....and its friday, so i can sit and watch law and order all night....i admit im pathetic...but i like it :)
"not giving up..take a break...", she responds
"its all the same to me...."
i think back to this mornings conversation during our trash run. a few months ago, that would have sent me into a tailspin. now i just dont care. well, i care about me...my dream...and achieving it. i dont care if someone doesnt believe in me...i dont care if no one believes in me...however, i know thats not true...there are atleast 5 of you out there ;) and my answer to her first question, i dont give up that easily...thats what it all boils down to. i just dont. my first attepmt didnt work out...so it became, do you really want to do this? and the answer was still yes...so how do you do this...go there..so i did. and now try...and try...and try again. if ive learned anything with these people, its that it aint ever gonna be easy.... everything is a fight...but it just makes victory so much sweeter. its the reason i changed majors....its the reason i kept going when i had every reason to stop...its the reason i gave up everything....so yes, i am going to keep at it until i get in and no...im not going to stop..cease..wait in anyway..cause every missed opportunity could be MY opportunity.
people will never cease to amaze me....its interesting that people i havent known that long seem to have my back...today when i get a manager asking me if im still going to be around next week or if im going to corporate...and when i say i still dont have a job there, he tells me i should be schmoozing with the corporate types that come in to the store all the time...and im like they dont want to talk to me...and what exactly would i say? and then jayne steps in to save me..."and thats why youve gotten where you are?" i never saw it coming :) and its really interesting when all you need is for your friend to be just that, your friend. and they seem to miss that...jumps out and smacks them in the face, yet they still miss it. and all they give you is a way to stab another friend in the back. i guess im finally figuring out whos really there. those who dont have to return phone calls, b/c they call on their own. those who are there when you need them...and seem to know exactly what to say....
i got my vacation approved. which means come september, brian and i will be driving across the country together. i cant wait...its going to be a long drive...but well make it fun. i cant wait for him to be out here....and we will be able to see eachother all the time :) i think thats all for now...i figured it was time for a nice update ;) *sigh* so tired....but thats ok cause i can sleep in tomorrow cause i dont have to be at work til 1....and its friday, so i can sit and watch law and order all night....i admit im pathetic...but i like it :)