Where do i go frum here??

[beantown23balla]

i think it's more i've always tried to put a smile on my face the best i could & pretend like everythin was okay, but i cant do it nemore. i've officially hit rock bottom. & suuure there's times wen life SEEMS sooo great & nuttin could be betta but the truth is its not. & it always seems to fade away. there are very few people i can actually talk to rite now & kno they completely understand, or atleast pretend to. & afta alls sed & done everythins the same..& by same i mean; they dont luv me ne different, they dont look at me ne different, they're jus there for me. i dont want pity, at all, & those who kno me..& i mean REALLY kno me, kno thats not wat i want at all. im jus not sure wat more i can do, & to be honest IF there really is nethin more i can do. i feel as if its me & im the one goin crazy. i try to isolate myself at times, or atleast it seems that way to me, so that i dont upset people wit ne of my problems but i think its wats gettin me into trouble. i build this huge wall around me, hidin my true feelins..& i kno part of its me dealin ON MY OWN.. bein angry/sad/frustrated/i dont even kno nemore..i guess my emotions jus got the best of me. alls i can do is jus take it day by day, hopin things will change. go the way i want them to. EVERYTHIN. & im almost positive, unless by chance a miracle comes my way, thats not gunna eva happen. jus play the cards ur dealt, & everythin will eventually work out, rite? even if it's 10 yrs frum now.

so for those who listen, & put up wit me...thanx. i dont kno how many times i can say 'i appreciate it.' to my friends; ur really wat keeps me goin.<3 so if i dont always show it, it doesnt mean my feelins change.

it goes to show, ya neva kno
wen everythins about to change
jus another day started like ne other.