Not the Same
Lately I have not been feeling like myself, maybe that's why I'm starting one of these things. Every morning the alarm goes off (sometimes 5am some times 7) and there is never a day where I get to sleep in. I get up shower grab a bite and am off to hours of classes and rehearsals. Coming back to my dorm I usually find no roommate and am alone here mostly (with no one but my fish) Then sometime after that I get ready for work (12 hours a week...) come home and pass out. Lately this monotony has really been wearin me down. Im tired all the time. I dont have time to even think about fun, friends or relaxing. And what makes matters worse is that Ben is not here and so he really has no idea what my situation is. Sometimes I just want to be able to sit and talk to him and forget about all the crap going on in my life. But even doing that is hard and that's what sucks the most. Forget doing something different, new that I would like to try like swim club or moutainbiking. There is no time. And even though it's only like the 3rd week of school I feel as though I have been here forever. I'm giving it all I've got but I feel there is not much left of me to give.
I titled this journal "Life is Awesome (but sometimes it can really suck)" because yea sometimes (a lot of the time...) you just want to give up, not care any more because that's the easy way out. I just want to live for the moment, take everything in and try to enjoy my life here as much as possible. Last year there was way too much stress in my life, I was sick all the time and very depressed. I will be damned if that happens to me again this year. So while I am in this slump I am trying to find a way to get out of it. And deep down I know that everything is going to be alright.
I titled this journal "Life is Awesome (but sometimes it can really suck)" because yea sometimes (a lot of the time...) you just want to give up, not care any more because that's the easy way out. I just want to live for the moment, take everything in and try to enjoy my life here as much as possible. Last year there was way too much stress in my life, I was sick all the time and very depressed. I will be damned if that happens to me again this year. So while I am in this slump I am trying to find a way to get out of it. And deep down I know that everything is going to be alright.