(no subject)
Sometimes I wish I could just hit pause .. As if my mind is an endless string of thoughts and all I want is for it to stop. Constantly thinking get tiring and I dont have the ability to meditate for more then a couple minutes. Well maybe i just need more practice with that.
I've found myself in two types of meditation. One in which I clear all thoughts, and another which I focus simply on one thing.
I'm beginning to feel more close to myself and I think it scares me sometimes, getting to know me is quite complex, retracing my life on how I felt, and beginning to see the difference between my perception of how things happened and the reality is shocking me quite a bit. It really changes everything about how I've lived my life.
...
I'm falling in love, I'm in love. And I'm loving.. All simultaneously.. But it's not what I knew before as "love" but something else, something that's reaching my core. It scares me, cause it's so real. There's so much of me that wants to hold back.. And so little of me that doesn't let me.. New vs Old ways of living are in me.. Fighting for survival. This spiritual path is complicated, and it's easier to walk it not alone.
I'm going to write a song about losing all my friends, basically everyone that used to be in my life. Maybe it's just the price I have to pay for happiness. How important can that be?
I'll figure out this whole life thing one day.
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