(no subject)
Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? I was sitting with Ashley as she was watching Felicity for the upteenth time, and that quote was said and it made me think. When you count on someone you are vulnerable, they have the power to rip your world apart with one action or one phrase that can be as simple as "I forgot." They have all of the power and everything lies with them. The ball is in their court essentially. But is it really better to be the one being counted upon? Yes the ball is in your court and you have the power to do with it what you please, but the pressure is enormous. Having someone count on you is like having someone watch every single one of your movements just waiting for you to screw up and let them down. So which is really better? Is this why people choose to not be in relationships? Is it easier to not count on anyone and not have anyone count on you so that there is no chance of you screwing up or being let down? Is the choice to be alone merely just an escape? I started thinking about my own relationship. People ask how we made it, if we are getting married, and all of those serious questions that would make any sensible girl dive out of an open window. However they didnt really hit home with me until this past week. I am in a serious relationship and I never honestly thought in depth about the answers to those questions. Now, Dan has a job in California. In Stockton, at UOP so that he can be here until I graduate and all of a sudden there was a surge of pressure. It as if now he is counting on me to be the one and for us to last forever, and now he has me counting on him for the same... Scary, but it made me sit down and think about all those questions people asked me that i brushed off before. He stayed here for me... That is the ultimate sacrifice, but I am going to the east coast for him afterwards, another major sacrifice.. Love is complicated, full of sacrifice and compromise. But, maybe that's the best part. When you see someone in love you want to do whatever you can for them because the truth is...if they really are the one you are meant to be with, your other half as people say, you want to do your best to make them happy, because in a sense you are making yourself happy. Does that make sense?