(no subject)
Fuck!!! It's been a mad long while since a real angry lj entry, but here you go. I'm so fucking confused about everything!! I look for answers, and the only real response is the raising of more questions. It's like fucking quicksand, man. I'm trying so hard to "find myself" but I seem to only be drowning myself. I've gotta fuckin pay for everything, I've gotta fix everything, and there's no way for me to do it. I'm angry at just about everything and everyone around me for somethingas reterted as it may be, and I'm lost, so I can't even fix it all myself. I'm fucking paranoid about everything, too. you know what it is, man. It's like, I've been fighting for so long to get out from beneath the covering, the camoflauge society's got on it. and now that I'm so damn close to the fresh air, it's burning me. Reality is too dman harsh. From here, I've gotta head back down into ignorance, only this time I can pick where I'll be ignorant. I won't be truly ignorant, because I've been here, I'll just be chill. Yeah, that's it, not ignorant, just chill. I'll still know what it's really like, I'll just choose to ignore it. From here on out, I'll do everything I need to in ordwer to get done what I want to get done-and that's all. I aim to please myself, I am my own man. it's gonna be so damn hard, but I'll do it. and if I don't, well, that'll just be chill. Because I've come to a conclusion. Everyone claims to want to know the truth. Well, let me tell you something. The truth sucks. I've seen lots of truths, and the truth sucks because A) the truth is beyond the normal person and B) the truth can't be proven. I know, I know, wehat is the truth if not the benchmark for all else. But what you have to understand about the truth is that the truth is relative. Truth is what your perception makes it. Ah fuck it, I'm not explaining this now, I've got shit to do. My truth is tellin me I gotta go cook a pizza. Stay chill, homies.