School again
So another semester is going straight down the drain, it seems.
I'm only taking 3 classes this semester because I wanted to lighten my workload. At this point, I've effectively already flunked one (physics), so 1/3 of my semester is a lost cause. If I can pull my socks up a bit, I will probably make it through chemistry with an average-ish mark.
I will undoubtedly get a 4.0 in sociology - I currently have no doubts of that. (Hell, my prof has practically guaranteed As to our whole class because she's so impressed with us as a group.) So that's something.
I just don't know.
It's not that stuff is too hard...it's more that I keep finding it boring, and can't motivate myself to work on it or go to class. I'm getting that sinking feeling that I'm really, really in the wrong major.
AGAIN.
I just cannot seem to get this goddamn, "decide what to do with your life" thing down at all. Jesus, let's not even discuss how low my GPA is at this point. Even if I flunk BOTH physics and chemistry this semester, I will still be passing overall...but then I will have to take them again. It's depressing me how much money I'm wasting grinding through these classes multiple times. It will probably take me all allotted seven years to get through my four-year degree at this rate. What am I even doing here?
At Christmas I ended up discussing my classes for this semester with my cousin (well, first cousin once removed), S. She went to art school - I'm not sure what she's doing now. I told her about my introductory sociology class last semester and my frustrations with it, and then told her about the class I was looking forward to taking this semester. At one point in the discussion, she broke in to say:
"I don't see you very often, but this sociology stuff seems to be a big interest for you outside of school - like you're passionate about it. It's just a suggestion, but since you don't seem to really know where you're going with the health sciences, maybe sociology is something you should do instead."
At which point I sort of made a stinkface at her.
In a way, she's right - I do have a lot more passion for my sociology class than I do for, say, chemistry. And while I really enjoyed human anatomy and medical terminology, I still didn't focus on them very well. (I flunked the latter, too...) Soc is something I seem to have no trouble focusing on so far.
(Although I don't know how well that would apply if I were to switch majors. I seem to have a major problem with losing all interest in a topic the minute someone is requiring me to learn it. See the example of my flunking my medical terminology class when that's something I had no trouble studying on my own for fun. That's the kind of thing that makes me wonder if I really do have some sort of deeply-seated psychological issue after all.)
But switching my majors would be a major undertaking - I'd have to switch schools, for one thing (because while MRU has sociology classes, it doesn't offer any sociology programs). And with my GPA where it is, I have no idea what school would take me.
But more than that, I have no idea what I would DO with a sociology major. So far as I know, the two main things you can do with sociology are:
1. Publish stuff academically (write for a living? ugh, already tried that and hated it!)
2. Teach (double ugh!)
And very little on this page (what you can do with a sociology BA) looks any better. Actually, it all looks pretty distasteful. Who the hell wants to be a marketing research analyst? Blech.
So yeah, just feeling very adrift right now.
I should actually go study something. So I guess I'll do that.
I'm only taking 3 classes this semester because I wanted to lighten my workload. At this point, I've effectively already flunked one (physics), so 1/3 of my semester is a lost cause. If I can pull my socks up a bit, I will probably make it through chemistry with an average-ish mark.
I will undoubtedly get a 4.0 in sociology - I currently have no doubts of that. (Hell, my prof has practically guaranteed As to our whole class because she's so impressed with us as a group.) So that's something.
I just don't know.
It's not that stuff is too hard...it's more that I keep finding it boring, and can't motivate myself to work on it or go to class. I'm getting that sinking feeling that I'm really, really in the wrong major.
AGAIN.
I just cannot seem to get this goddamn, "decide what to do with your life" thing down at all. Jesus, let's not even discuss how low my GPA is at this point. Even if I flunk BOTH physics and chemistry this semester, I will still be passing overall...but then I will have to take them again. It's depressing me how much money I'm wasting grinding through these classes multiple times. It will probably take me all allotted seven years to get through my four-year degree at this rate. What am I even doing here?
At Christmas I ended up discussing my classes for this semester with my cousin (well, first cousin once removed), S. She went to art school - I'm not sure what she's doing now. I told her about my introductory sociology class last semester and my frustrations with it, and then told her about the class I was looking forward to taking this semester. At one point in the discussion, she broke in to say:
"I don't see you very often, but this sociology stuff seems to be a big interest for you outside of school - like you're passionate about it. It's just a suggestion, but since you don't seem to really know where you're going with the health sciences, maybe sociology is something you should do instead."
At which point I sort of made a stinkface at her.
In a way, she's right - I do have a lot more passion for my sociology class than I do for, say, chemistry. And while I really enjoyed human anatomy and medical terminology, I still didn't focus on them very well. (I flunked the latter, too...) Soc is something I seem to have no trouble focusing on so far.
(Although I don't know how well that would apply if I were to switch majors. I seem to have a major problem with losing all interest in a topic the minute someone is requiring me to learn it. See the example of my flunking my medical terminology class when that's something I had no trouble studying on my own for fun. That's the kind of thing that makes me wonder if I really do have some sort of deeply-seated psychological issue after all.)
But switching my majors would be a major undertaking - I'd have to switch schools, for one thing (because while MRU has sociology classes, it doesn't offer any sociology programs). And with my GPA where it is, I have no idea what school would take me.
But more than that, I have no idea what I would DO with a sociology major. So far as I know, the two main things you can do with sociology are:
1. Publish stuff academically (write for a living? ugh, already tried that and hated it!)
2. Teach (double ugh!)
And very little on this page (what you can do with a sociology BA) looks any better. Actually, it all looks pretty distasteful. Who the hell wants to be a marketing research analyst? Blech.
So yeah, just feeling very adrift right now.
I should actually go study something. So I guess I'll do that.