Blech
I know I haven't been on lj for a long time. I guess I'm sort of depressed right now.
I don't really feel like doing much of anything. I don't read much online, and don't keep up as well with TV shows I was watching before. I'm not really reading any books I wanted to read. I haven't seen any Doctor Who lately - I haven't watched Waters of Mars, the Sarah Jane episodes, or the first half of the Christmas special. I just don't feel like watching it.
I don't even want to know what my marks from this semester are, but I know they aren't that great.
Mostly, I sit around and feel gloomy and wish I wasn't here. I'm just really tired of feeling like a failure all the time, and I think sometimes that it might be better if I stopped trying at all.
I was talking to my aunt at Christmas. She struggles with depression (as do a lot of people in my family), but she's seen a naturopath who has helped her much more than the usual drug regime did. She was telling our extended family about the various dietary changes and treatments she's taken on, and it turns out that her naturopath sells her some really high-quality fish oil.
I know fish oil helps me stay on an even emotional keel; but living as far inland as I do, it's hard to find stuff that isn't rancid on the shelves, so I haven't been buying it this year. My aunt promised to get me some of the good stuff, and I will just pay her back.
So maybe that will help.
In the meantime, I think I need to try more to act like I'm okay, even if I don't feel like it. I might not feel like I'm going to enjoy Who much; but if I don't watch it, then I definitely won't, right?
So I'm going to go take some Dexedrine (my dosing schedule has been really erratic lately, and I bet that doesn't help, either), and then I'm going to try to watch Waters of Mars.
Hopefully I will see you guys around more.
I don't really feel like doing much of anything. I don't read much online, and don't keep up as well with TV shows I was watching before. I'm not really reading any books I wanted to read. I haven't seen any Doctor Who lately - I haven't watched Waters of Mars, the Sarah Jane episodes, or the first half of the Christmas special. I just don't feel like watching it.
I don't even want to know what my marks from this semester are, but I know they aren't that great.
Mostly, I sit around and feel gloomy and wish I wasn't here. I'm just really tired of feeling like a failure all the time, and I think sometimes that it might be better if I stopped trying at all.
I was talking to my aunt at Christmas. She struggles with depression (as do a lot of people in my family), but she's seen a naturopath who has helped her much more than the usual drug regime did. She was telling our extended family about the various dietary changes and treatments she's taken on, and it turns out that her naturopath sells her some really high-quality fish oil.
I know fish oil helps me stay on an even emotional keel; but living as far inland as I do, it's hard to find stuff that isn't rancid on the shelves, so I haven't been buying it this year. My aunt promised to get me some of the good stuff, and I will just pay her back.
So maybe that will help.
In the meantime, I think I need to try more to act like I'm okay, even if I don't feel like it. I might not feel like I'm going to enjoy Who much; but if I don't watch it, then I definitely won't, right?
So I'm going to go take some Dexedrine (my dosing schedule has been really erratic lately, and I bet that doesn't help, either), and then I'm going to try to watch Waters of Mars.
Hopefully I will see you guys around more.