Bye feminist_rage, bye feminist, I won't miss either of you
This is as quick as I can make it, and I won't be dealing with anything else for a while. I apologize for not getting back to things. I will soon, I promise.
I just left feminist AND feminist_rage. I'd been thinking very seriously for the past day or so of leaving feminist, because I was sick of shit in there. I was pissed about the idea of having to deal with delphyne_ again, or even see her username somewhere I or my friends didn't type it. I was upset that several people I think are great, and contribute a lot were leaving, one after the other. Can you sense the Winds of Change? Yeah. What was I getting out of there, anyway? Could I seriously say I learned much? The time at which I could have learned a lot from feminist, I was learning the same things, BETTER (I think), somewhere else. So I figured...maybe I'd leave. But I didn't want to give up.
I just never thought I'd leave feminist_rage FIRST. Not in a million years.
So what the hell happened? I can't say that much (even having left, I don't really want to spill the beans), but the upshot is that there was a banning over a LEAKED POST OMG that dysgr8mystake made to anti_feminism from feminist_rage. Except that she didn't actually leak the post, and she didn't actually leak real replies to the post. She repeated an exchange she'd had with one member and a mod over whether or not feminist_snark was on par with anti_feminism. Personally, I don't quite think so, but she had a point.
She received a mod note that told her to "shut her face" because she doesn't actually know what goes down in feminist_snark. She took it to anti_fem. And she was banned.
And not only was she banned, the same mod oh-so-kindly emailed her to say that she was "concerned" about the "trolls" dysgr8mystake has in her journal - which includes me, apparently, since I left one slightly testy comment asking dysgr8mystake to drop some old drama. (We're really not friends, so it's ironic that this is all over HER.) Then replied to ME in feminist_rage essentially telling me that she doesn't appreciate people acting like "hyenas" in the journals of anti-fem members.
Over something that had nothing to do with her, or her goddamn community.
Last. fucking. straw.
So I just spent several hours saving things. Lots and lots and lots of screencaps, damn. (And no, those aren't for drama purposes, I just want to keep stuff.) There's information in both feminist and feminist_rage that I will never have access to again, but you know what? Information can be replaced.
(LULZ can't. Hence screencaps.)
I saved all the drama I've been in, and all the drama my friends have been in, and I also saved the Chreebomb thing because, why not? And what I realized as I did so was that I've only ever gotten DRAMA and ANNOYANCE out of both those communities, pretty much. As a last gesture in feminist, I read the last thing delphyne_ said to me there (which I had refused to open in my inbox before), and it was just pointless crap. Why was I ever there? (Well, a mod added me, I didn't apply. But that's not what I mean.)
I remember a while back (which I forgot to save, so lost forever) there was a locked post in fem_rage where there was a fantastic discussion of classism. That's my best memory there, and I'd never find it again anyway. And feminist? The best moment was when I convinced a girl who's close to sociology researchers to try to get them to look into doing a research project on the underdiagnosis of LDs and ADHD in kids of color. My ONE moment of maybe-impact.
And other than that...annoyance. Drama. Angst. Annoyance. Fury. Deppression. Annoyance. Disgust. Did I mention annoyance?
I'll do fine without these communities. I might look for others, but I don't need a "replacement" feminist community, because there's nothing to replace. Fuck 'em all.
For posterity, the comments I left (and yeah, this is ALL screencapped, so if anyone says I'm lying about anything, I can prove 'em wrong).]
[In response to a refusal to my request to see the screencaps of the locked post (it's a locked post in anti_feminism, which I will only remain in long enough to get/give replies on this, and then I'm gone.)
Never mind. I found it all (mod note, ban note, the "leaked post," the whole shebang) on my own. And if you want to know why I wanted to see it, it's because her accounts of what is going on and yours seem to differ. I wanted to know what was going on. Well, I found out.
(Locked post over there or not, it's easy enough to access, for anybody who doesn't like having the facts obscured. Although I had to join anti_feminism to do it, something I swore I'd NEVER do, so I'm not thrilled about that.)
So, I'm over here shaking over what I saw over there, and in here. I did not originally intend to say anything. But having seen what I did, here it is, as briefly as I can make it:
1) Nobody who is not a member can see what goes on in feminist_snark. Everybody has only guesses, based on what they've seen on snark communities before. The idea that members in there are snarking any old post they dislike? Is not unreasonable - that's what snark communities are typically like. As comments in here indicate, others have had the same concern. Her comment? Was petty, but not that unreasonable. Your response? Was a load of bull.
That was the most vicious and pointless mod note I've EVER seen in any community I've belonged to in all my time on lj. "Shut your face," as a response simply because you didn't like what she had to say was sick. I'd be ashamed of myself for getting that out of hand, if I were you.
And? You can take some accountability for triggering this. She's responsible for her own actions, but you are NOT blameless. Hell, if I had gotten that CRAP in my inbox, I would have been tempted, at least, to do what she did, and more.
2) This Big Brother shit is so fucking old. Had she left out the quotes, would she still have been banned? It doesn't say so in the rules, but I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, what she DID post was petty crap entirely unrelated to the rage, wasn't credited, and she had damn good reason to be pissed about it. I'm not really seeing the OMGHORROR, actually. I've done pretty much the same thing over mod decisions, minus the quotes. If I should have been banned for that, well, I take great pleasure in this outcome, then.
Let me be clear on one thing: taking some woman's rage and quoting the contents of it elsewhere would be utterly fucking vile, especially for mocking. Forget a ban - if that's not a TOS violation, it should be.
But that's not really what this was. Regardless of how you made it sound.
On an even more personal note... Generally, I've liked your comments before. Thought you were smart, fairly insightful, and usually reasonable, even if you could get annoying. I've DEFENDED YOU MULTIPLE TIMES when people had shit to say about the things you pull. Ugh. You feel bad about defending dysgr8mystake? She posted her anger about getting an unreasonable mod note here elsewhere. YOU gave that mod note. I mean, I'm done.
So, you know, fuck it. I got anything I might have needed out of this community a long time ago. Thanks for everything, it's been swell.
Please don't bother to respond. I'm not interested.
[And in response to the, "don't act like hyenas," comment]
Oh, and one more thing (and this was part of what REALLY upset me):
I wasn't sure what this comment was about. But over in anti_feminism, dysgr8mystake has said that you emailed her saying you were sorry about people "trolling" her journal, and named yakkette, myself, and thelastsplash. I thought at first that was her own extrapolation, but then I realized that you actually NAMING me made this comment make sense. Even if you didn't, you seem to link that comment to this.
So.
I can't speak for yakkette or anybody else, but that was the one and ONLY comment I've ever left in her journal. I was linked there by yakkette, and it all was about older drama - in the case of my comment, ANCIENT drama I was asking to be dropped, albeit testily. It had, you know, NOTHING to do with this community.
I'm honestly sorry if my leaving that one comment was part of the reason she did this (and I'll take that up with her on my own time), but if you'll note, she actually thought my reply was fairly civil, and she asked people to leave me alone. My reply back to her - had I gotten there before I saw all this - would have been completely civil.
So the hyenas thing, please. I've just spent several hours going though feminist communities and saving things, and it's striking just how OFTEN there's problems because you "accidentally misread" something. Maybe you need to work on that.
Completely through now. *dusts hands and leaves*
That's all, folks.
Off to find something to eat. And dammit, my work uniform still needs to be washed!
I just left feminist AND feminist_rage. I'd been thinking very seriously for the past day or so of leaving feminist, because I was sick of shit in there. I was pissed about the idea of having to deal with delphyne_ again, or even see her username somewhere I or my friends didn't type it. I was upset that several people I think are great, and contribute a lot were leaving, one after the other. Can you sense the Winds of Change? Yeah. What was I getting out of there, anyway? Could I seriously say I learned much? The time at which I could have learned a lot from feminist, I was learning the same things, BETTER (I think), somewhere else. So I figured...maybe I'd leave. But I didn't want to give up.
I just never thought I'd leave feminist_rage FIRST. Not in a million years.
So what the hell happened? I can't say that much (even having left, I don't really want to spill the beans), but the upshot is that there was a banning over a LEAKED POST OMG that dysgr8mystake made to anti_feminism from feminist_rage. Except that she didn't actually leak the post, and she didn't actually leak real replies to the post. She repeated an exchange she'd had with one member and a mod over whether or not feminist_snark was on par with anti_feminism. Personally, I don't quite think so, but she had a point.
She received a mod note that told her to "shut her face" because she doesn't actually know what goes down in feminist_snark. She took it to anti_fem. And she was banned.
And not only was she banned, the same mod oh-so-kindly emailed her to say that she was "concerned" about the "trolls" dysgr8mystake has in her journal - which includes me, apparently, since I left one slightly testy comment asking dysgr8mystake to drop some old drama. (We're really not friends, so it's ironic that this is all over HER.) Then replied to ME in feminist_rage essentially telling me that she doesn't appreciate people acting like "hyenas" in the journals of anti-fem members.
Over something that had nothing to do with her, or her goddamn community.
Last. fucking. straw.
So I just spent several hours saving things. Lots and lots and lots of screencaps, damn. (And no, those aren't for drama purposes, I just want to keep stuff.) There's information in both feminist and feminist_rage that I will never have access to again, but you know what? Information can be replaced.
(LULZ can't. Hence screencaps.)
I saved all the drama I've been in, and all the drama my friends have been in, and I also saved the Chreebomb thing because, why not? And what I realized as I did so was that I've only ever gotten DRAMA and ANNOYANCE out of both those communities, pretty much. As a last gesture in feminist, I read the last thing delphyne_ said to me there (which I had refused to open in my inbox before), and it was just pointless crap. Why was I ever there? (Well, a mod added me, I didn't apply. But that's not what I mean.)
I remember a while back (which I forgot to save, so lost forever) there was a locked post in fem_rage where there was a fantastic discussion of classism. That's my best memory there, and I'd never find it again anyway. And feminist? The best moment was when I convinced a girl who's close to sociology researchers to try to get them to look into doing a research project on the underdiagnosis of LDs and ADHD in kids of color. My ONE moment of maybe-impact.
And other than that...annoyance. Drama. Angst. Annoyance. Fury. Deppression. Annoyance. Disgust. Did I mention annoyance?
I'll do fine without these communities. I might look for others, but I don't need a "replacement" feminist community, because there's nothing to replace. Fuck 'em all.
For posterity, the comments I left (and yeah, this is ALL screencapped, so if anyone says I'm lying about anything, I can prove 'em wrong).]
[In response to a refusal to my request to see the screencaps of the locked post (it's a locked post in anti_feminism, which I will only remain in long enough to get/give replies on this, and then I'm gone.)
Never mind. I found it all (mod note, ban note, the "leaked post," the whole shebang) on my own. And if you want to know why I wanted to see it, it's because her accounts of what is going on and yours seem to differ. I wanted to know what was going on. Well, I found out.
(Locked post over there or not, it's easy enough to access, for anybody who doesn't like having the facts obscured. Although I had to join anti_feminism to do it, something I swore I'd NEVER do, so I'm not thrilled about that.)
So, I'm over here shaking over what I saw over there, and in here. I did not originally intend to say anything. But having seen what I did, here it is, as briefly as I can make it:
1) Nobody who is not a member can see what goes on in feminist_snark. Everybody has only guesses, based on what they've seen on snark communities before. The idea that members in there are snarking any old post they dislike? Is not unreasonable - that's what snark communities are typically like. As comments in here indicate, others have had the same concern. Her comment? Was petty, but not that unreasonable. Your response? Was a load of bull.
That was the most vicious and pointless mod note I've EVER seen in any community I've belonged to in all my time on lj. "Shut your face," as a response simply because you didn't like what she had to say was sick. I'd be ashamed of myself for getting that out of hand, if I were you.
And? You can take some accountability for triggering this. She's responsible for her own actions, but you are NOT blameless. Hell, if I had gotten that CRAP in my inbox, I would have been tempted, at least, to do what she did, and more.
2) This Big Brother shit is so fucking old. Had she left out the quotes, would she still have been banned? It doesn't say so in the rules, but I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, what she DID post was petty crap entirely unrelated to the rage, wasn't credited, and she had damn good reason to be pissed about it. I'm not really seeing the OMGHORROR, actually. I've done pretty much the same thing over mod decisions, minus the quotes. If I should have been banned for that, well, I take great pleasure in this outcome, then.
Let me be clear on one thing: taking some woman's rage and quoting the contents of it elsewhere would be utterly fucking vile, especially for mocking. Forget a ban - if that's not a TOS violation, it should be.
But that's not really what this was. Regardless of how you made it sound.
On an even more personal note... Generally, I've liked your comments before. Thought you were smart, fairly insightful, and usually reasonable, even if you could get annoying. I've DEFENDED YOU MULTIPLE TIMES when people had shit to say about the things you pull. Ugh. You feel bad about defending dysgr8mystake? She posted her anger about getting an unreasonable mod note here elsewhere. YOU gave that mod note. I mean, I'm done.
So, you know, fuck it. I got anything I might have needed out of this community a long time ago. Thanks for everything, it's been swell.
Please don't bother to respond. I'm not interested.
[And in response to the, "don't act like hyenas," comment]
Oh, and one more thing (and this was part of what REALLY upset me):
I wasn't sure what this comment was about. But over in anti_feminism, dysgr8mystake has said that you emailed her saying you were sorry about people "trolling" her journal, and named yakkette, myself, and thelastsplash. I thought at first that was her own extrapolation, but then I realized that you actually NAMING me made this comment make sense. Even if you didn't, you seem to link that comment to this.
So.
I can't speak for yakkette or anybody else, but that was the one and ONLY comment I've ever left in her journal. I was linked there by yakkette, and it all was about older drama - in the case of my comment, ANCIENT drama I was asking to be dropped, albeit testily. It had, you know, NOTHING to do with this community.
I'm honestly sorry if my leaving that one comment was part of the reason she did this (and I'll take that up with her on my own time), but if you'll note, she actually thought my reply was fairly civil, and she asked people to leave me alone. My reply back to her - had I gotten there before I saw all this - would have been completely civil.
So the hyenas thing, please. I've just spent several hours going though feminist communities and saving things, and it's striking just how OFTEN there's problems because you "accidentally misread" something. Maybe you need to work on that.
Completely through now. *dusts hands and leaves*
That's all, folks.
Off to find something to eat. And dammit, my work uniform still needs to be washed!