everything is good
i'm financially secure. i'm healthy. my parents have good health. even though i feel estranged from them right now. well i feel estranged from everyone right now because all i do is school. well, at least that is what my mind is set to do. tbh, i think i waste a lot of time when i get easily distracted. i can spend the whole day trying to complete an assignment, that when i do sit down and do it, sometimes it only takes me half-hour. you see, i complete assignments on a daily basis. i try to complete the entire assignment once i get started, and that is the focus of my day. it doesn't matter that i walked the dog for an hour and half, tended my plantitas for another hour and half, pick up the apartment, lay down, get lost on my phone, the whole point is, i won't commit to doing anything else other than that assignment. get distracted, yes, easily, but i don't decide to put in a load of clothes, start cooking, etc, those are just actions of circumstance. i really am envious of people with great attention spans. i really envy people who have great discipline. i have neither, but i am working on it, and i think i am improving, if my grades are indicative of success, for at the moment i get straight a's, except for that fucking chemistry 101 i think i got a c. but i feel successful in my studies. another thing i am working on is not getting stuck. i become obsessed if i don't understand the material, or if i am not getting the right answer, and i get stuck on it, like for hours. then i get anxiety, and i think all these bad thoughts about myself that are very destructive, and it gets pretty bad. sometimes i just need to look up the right answer, and it's okay if i don't understand it, as long as the answer is right and i get full credit. that's a skill called time management. which is something i am working on, as you can tell from this long post while doing hw.
i am getting the covid vaccine today. i'm looking forward to socializing again, but not so much for getting the shot. i wanted to j&j vaccine cuz it's only one shot. ni modo.