fears and hopes
i've been offered a senior position at work....
I know I should be thrilled but it really just causes a dilemna. On the one hand I'm dying to take this position and raise to have one GREAT thing to put on my resume. It would also provide Scott and I the time we need to save the money we require to be comfortable starting our lives together on our own away from our families. Taking a semester off is the only way to do this, and I feel that this is something I REALLY need to do. For as long as I can remember, ok since the 7th grade, I've been on the straight path toward being a Marine Biologist. I never even explored other areas to make sure it was something I wanted. Thats not true. I KNOW that I want to end up at Sea World and train dolphins or killer whales, but I need this break. I went straight from high school to Coastal, and a semester off to work and get my head back to where it needs to be is something I feel adamently about.
On the other hand though, I fear that I won't get my families support. In their minds it will be a huge mistake and I know they will think that I won't ever go back to school. Which means that apparently they don't think that I have the smarts enough to know that school is important. I also fear letting my Dad down. He expects so much of me being his eldest daughter. I know he's always said that he will support anything I choose to do in life, but he's never understood that even I burn out when so much pressure is put on me. A semester off would be excellent for me. But how do I make my family see that? How do I guarrantee them and reassure them that I REALLY will want to return to school in January?
If only they hadn't offered me a promotion. If only I could have stayed under the radar and not impressed the General Manager, and other managers in the store, who personally requested that I be given a higher position in the store. I could have transfered to the Best Buy in S.C. without even so much of a glance. But now its a luring feature that is playing on my thoughts that I've had all summer about needing a semester off. It really complicates matters.
Not only this but I'm scared to really leave home. I'm scared to move out on my own, completely away from all my family and friends. Just Scott, Courage, and I out there 450 miles away from any type of support.
God I pray that I can get my families support on this decision I want to make for my life. I hope I can make them see that its only temporary and I WILL be going back to school in January. I'm already behind on my major as it is. Why not put it back one more semester? So I'll pay for my own summer courses next summer, and the summer following to try and catch up. I don't care! I need this break. I need the life experience of having a senior position on my resume. I need the time to gain money so I have something to fall back on next year. I need the time to regain energy and gather my thoughts to get them back onto that path that I desperately ran from last August when I moved away from my family unprepared and scared.
I just hope I can make them see that....
I know I should be thrilled but it really just causes a dilemna. On the one hand I'm dying to take this position and raise to have one GREAT thing to put on my resume. It would also provide Scott and I the time we need to save the money we require to be comfortable starting our lives together on our own away from our families. Taking a semester off is the only way to do this, and I feel that this is something I REALLY need to do. For as long as I can remember, ok since the 7th grade, I've been on the straight path toward being a Marine Biologist. I never even explored other areas to make sure it was something I wanted. Thats not true. I KNOW that I want to end up at Sea World and train dolphins or killer whales, but I need this break. I went straight from high school to Coastal, and a semester off to work and get my head back to where it needs to be is something I feel adamently about.
On the other hand though, I fear that I won't get my families support. In their minds it will be a huge mistake and I know they will think that I won't ever go back to school. Which means that apparently they don't think that I have the smarts enough to know that school is important. I also fear letting my Dad down. He expects so much of me being his eldest daughter. I know he's always said that he will support anything I choose to do in life, but he's never understood that even I burn out when so much pressure is put on me. A semester off would be excellent for me. But how do I make my family see that? How do I guarrantee them and reassure them that I REALLY will want to return to school in January?
If only they hadn't offered me a promotion. If only I could have stayed under the radar and not impressed the General Manager, and other managers in the store, who personally requested that I be given a higher position in the store. I could have transfered to the Best Buy in S.C. without even so much of a glance. But now its a luring feature that is playing on my thoughts that I've had all summer about needing a semester off. It really complicates matters.
Not only this but I'm scared to really leave home. I'm scared to move out on my own, completely away from all my family and friends. Just Scott, Courage, and I out there 450 miles away from any type of support.
God I pray that I can get my families support on this decision I want to make for my life. I hope I can make them see that its only temporary and I WILL be going back to school in January. I'm already behind on my major as it is. Why not put it back one more semester? So I'll pay for my own summer courses next summer, and the summer following to try and catch up. I don't care! I need this break. I need the life experience of having a senior position on my resume. I need the time to gain money so I have something to fall back on next year. I need the time to regain energy and gather my thoughts to get them back onto that path that I desperately ran from last August when I moved away from my family unprepared and scared.
I just hope I can make them see that....