This is what's wrong...
...with letting appearances drive your decision processes about safety.
FAA: Child in air traffic tower talking to pilots 'not acceptable'
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/03/03/air.traffic.child/index.html?hpt=T2
Some tower controller brought his kid to work, and let him say over the radio, "Jet Blue 171, cleared for takeoff."
Now, that was probably not the wisest thing in the world... but let's be a teensy bit objective about it. How badly was safety compromised by that one (completely supervised) radio transmission? Not at all, really. But the poor bastard is gonna lose his job over it, and that's just nuts.
I can see maybe a slap on the wrist... some kind of reprimand that begins with the phrase, "Do you REALLY think that was a wise idea?". But he didn't compromise safety. He just colored outside the lines a little. The *appearance* is far, far worse than any real risk to safety. The story hits the pages as, "OMG, a kid was controlling air traffic at LaGuardia!" And now that it's getting press covereage, the FAA is going to have to cover their backsides and fire the guy.
Even the air traffic controllers union isn't supporting him, and that's a crock.
The real issues that affect safety are ignored. The shoddy software that makes their scopes freak out occassionally - the double shifts - the erosion of pay and benefits - the working conditions that make 1984 look like a documentary - all those get ignored.
Controllers are expected to do a job that can be horrendously nerve-wracking at times. Yet they aren't allowed to have any "fun", because "fun" isn't professional. Apparently, being professional means appearing as if you've got a stick up your ass for your entire shift. Who can work like that, day in, day out, for years? People who go on to swallow a shotgun barrel, that's who. And, personally, that's not really the kind of guy I want guiding my arse through a low cloud layer around a busy airport. I want the guy who knows when it's time to be serious, and also knows when the situation allows for some fun. He's the level headed individual who isn't going to tweak out on me when I need him.
But no. Some kid makes a radio transmission - a correct radio transmission at that - and suddenly the public wants somebody's head to roll, because heaven forbid, a controller wasn't staring at a scope with sweat beading on his brow.
Eyes on the ball, people. You're getting distracted by shiny objects again.
Below the cut is a true story... funny and cute... and it involves a controller who "colored outside the lines" as well.
THE ATTACK RUN ON THE DEATH STAR
I own a small plane... a Beechcraft Sport. It's a little 4-seater, and I don't get to fly it nearly as much as I'd like to.
Well, it was a beautiful Saturday morning. No winds and the temperature was just right. So instead of mowing the lawn like my wife had planned for me, I decided to go to the airport and take the Sport out for a run.
As I'm getting ready to leave, my wife yells back at me, “WELL IF YOU GO, TAKE YOUR SON WITH YOU.”
So I ask my son. Want to go flying with dad? In which he says "Oh Yea! Can I take my light saber?"
You see, my 9 year son thinks he is a Jedi Knight and that our little plane is his personal X-Wing fighter. He is only 4’5 and has to sit on a pillow in order to see over the glare shield, but he always carries his light saber just in case we land on a strange planet in which there might be trouble or civil un-rest. Always prepared this one is. So away we go.
AND THERE I WAS……..
We were straight and level at around 6,000ft and I let him take the controls of the "X-Wing" to do some turns to the left and right. Joshua Approach Control called and said there was traffic at our 2’oclock at 2 miles and my son said to me “Look over there dad, Tie fighter coming right at us”. I told him to steer clear of the Tie Fighter because our lasers were out for repair and we were un-armed. No reason to provoke a fight.
So even though he is having a blast, I am starting to get a little bored. I think to myself, “Let’s go do a practice approach on the ILS”. So I called Joshua Approach, requested the ILS 25 Approach to Palmdale, and off we went. I maneuvered the X-Wing to the initial approach fix and started the turn outbound to the outer marker. Now my son is just really enjoying this. At the outer marker, the blue light on the marker beacon panel starts to flash and you could hear the BEEP in the headset. My son jumps in and said “That Tie Fighter has locked on to us”. I said “That’s Right”, and I started my evasive maneuver... the procedure turn to intercept the final approach course.
My son is listening to the exchange between me and the controller and wants to chime in on the conversion. I said to my son, “Just hang on; I will give you a chance”. I never should have said that, because now he is all excited to talk on the radio. As I start to turn inbound on the turn, the Approach controller says, “Contact tower when established on the localizer”. So I dial in the Tower frequency on the radio, and I tell my young Padawan Learner, “OK, when this needle gets here on the dial, push the radio button and tell the tower. "93 Romeo is inbound on the localizer”.
Now imagine this, I am giving basic instrument instruction to a 9 year old. I can't get grown adults to say this during instrument training. So before I can give him something simpler to say he keys the mike and says
“REBEL BASE, THIS IS RED 5. WE ARE STARTING OUR ATTACK RUN ON THE DEATH STAR”.
Good God.
Now this post 9/11. I'm cringing in my seat, and I just KNOW the tower controller is reaching for the phone to scramble the F-16's. But before I can key my mike and say anything, the tower jumps on and says “RED 5, YOU ARE CLEARED FOR THE APPROACH TO THE DEATH STAR. REPORT REACHING "HITS AWAY".
I'm waiting for the controller to add, “and tell your dad to call the local FAA office when he lands”, but I hear nothing else. So we continue the approach.
Now my son is in heaven. This is real life stuff to him and he is doing everything I tell him to do as far as tracking the instruments. As we approach the outer marker inbound, the light starts to flash again on the panel, with the accompanying tone in the headset.
“Dad, the Death Star has a lock on us!”
I reply, "You stay on the approach Red Five, I'll worry about the fighters."
Everything is going great. We've flown a good approach, and are approaching the final marker at "HITS AWAY" intersection. My son has noticed the GPS has a red line with an airplane on it and it ends at the airport...er... Death Star. So he asks me, “IS THAT A TARGETING COMPUTER DAD?”
"Well of course it is, son. It shows us where we are to the target."
So now he hears Obi-wan tell him to USE THE FORCE, SCOTT and he reaches up and TURNS THE GPS OFF. Tells me he is OK and does not need the targeting computer because he is using the FORCE. Great.
Now the final marker light flashes and the tone comes on again. We're not planning to land, so I apply full power to begin flying the missed approach procedure, and the "X-Wing" starts a climb. I start the turn to the missed approach path when my son keys the mike and says “HITS AWAY”. The tower answers back with “GOOD JOB RED 5, CONTACT REBEL APPROACH ON 126.1”
We go back to Mojave SPACEPORT, and I decide that the X-Wing needs a bath. So out comes all the cleaning stuff and we spend the rest of the day washing and waxing the turbo jets and laser pods.
Never did get a call or a letter from the FAA. Phew. © Jeff Bryant
Jeff Bryant
Southwest Regional Director
Beech Aero Club
1975 "X-Wing", N6993R