(no subject)
well...for the first time since i've been in school in rhode island...i don't wanna go back tomorrow...i've actually been happy at home...i feel better about everything...about people...about my life...just everything in general...and i know that as soon as i get back to school i'm not gonna feel that way about anything anymore...and it makes me sad just to think about it...
there is so much that i love about rhode island...but it seems like lately...there's even more that i don't love about it...most of the time i feel like the state of rhode island/URI is just telling me that i don't belong there anymore on a daily basis...and it seems like its just getting worse...and i don't really know if there's any way to make it better...
it just felt so good to be at home this weekend...i saw some of my friends...real true friends that have been and continue to be there for me when i call bawling my eyes out...or flip out on them for something they didn't do...or whenever i'm just falling apart...they're there...and always have been...i feel a lot closer to my mom right now too...we had like a full day conversation on friday...and it was fabulous...she just made me feel so much better about life and about things that have happened...and about the way i feel about a lot of things...and about some of the decisions that i've made recently...and i love that she's totally supportive and there for me no matter what...it takes a weight off my shoulders just knowing that no matter what i decide or what i do...she's there...and she just wants me to be happy...which really...is all i want too...i just don't exactly know how to go about accomplishing that task...
i guess i'll figure it out eventually...it's just gonna be so much harder once i get back to school and have to face everything again...i just don't wanna do it...i don't wanna come face to face with everything i hate...and i don't wanna be reminded on a day to day basis of past events...but i know that's not gonna be possible...because everywhere i turn...it's staring me in the face...
...'til next time...
<3 jess :-\