VAGINA MONOLOGUES
Dear Journal,
These last few weeks have been crazy! Between the classes, PC and the show, I've been super busy... but starting next week it'll slow down a lot. Which'll be nice considering Spring Break is in less than a month and it doesn't feel like we've been back from break that long.
So Liz and Christine were gonna come up on Friday afternoon but came Thursday night instead because of the weather. We hung out till like 3 am, and then got up for breakfast and stuff cause I had to work. They hung out in the PC office and made cards and what not, then after work I took them to the BDR for lunch. So all was well then we find out that school is closed after 4 because of the snow, meaning the show was off! I was really upset because I was so excited for it, but it meant Liz and Christine got to stay another day and watch the show last night! So Friday afternoon we took the commuter rail into Boston and went shopping at the Pru. We went in all the stores we can't afford and attempted to look like we fit in even though we looked at price tags and went "holy shit!" half the time. We wanted to catch the 8:10 train back to BSC but ended up missing it so we chilled at South Station till 10:30 and didn't get back here till late. Friday night a bunch of people came up and we drank and hung out and what not. It was really fun to have everyone together- we've never really had a party like that in our room before. We crashed around 3 or so and got up at ten yesterday morning! Had some food, showered, hung out, did nothing really. I gave the girls a tour of the school by car, it was a good time. Then we went to Quincy to pick up Alla, and the whole car ride we had truth or hypes type questions, it was very old school of us. Then we came back and went to dinner, then it was off to curtain call. The girls went out shopping and I had to get ready and warm up and everything. I was sort of nervous but not really because I knew the show would sell out and everyone would love it. My parents came out... I was SO excited. At first they didn't think they'd make it, but I think that them coming made the difference, because they don't really get to see what I do at school besides grades and stuff. I knew where they were sitting so when I got to do my monologue I could look at them. The lights were really bright so I couldn't really see their faces, but I knew they were looking right back at me! During my piece I was so afraid that I missed a part, but luckily I did not. Some girls were allowed to use scripts and stuff but I didn't, which was ok because I know this thing inside and out. After the show I got to see everyone and I got flowers, cookies and kissing bears (THANK YOU EVERYONE!). It was just awsome, I can't wait to do it all again tonight! After the show I drove Alla back to Quincy, then we came back here and went to bed. Liz and Christine left at like 8 this morning, then my dad called me at like 10:30 so I didn't get enough sleep! But now the room is clean and everything is back in order, but now I have lots of studying to do for a test tomorrow.
I'm really glad I did the show and I have the experience. Everyone who has a part in it just cares so much about the women and the cause. I think its one of my favorite things I've done in my life thus far because I really feel like I'm a part of something. Women's rights is something I'm really for, and to know I'm raising money for a shelter is just like awsome. I'm not sure how much we raised last night, but any amount of money that is helpful does something! And I'm glad my best friends and parents came out.. it just made it that much more!!
Ok I'm avoiding studying like the plague, but I'll post my monologue for those who can't come or didn't make it out to the show.
Crooked Braid
He wanted to go out.
He said to me "You stay home"
I said "I wanted to go out"
He said "You have a baby"
I said "Its our baby"
I laid the baby down.
He probably felt my tension
Cause he was whimpering,
the baby.
I looked up
and he slapped me, my husband.
Not a blast that turns your eyes blue.
That came later
It was a smack
A hard domestic smack.
He looked at me.
He was smiling.
I couldn't believe it.
He was smiling.
He slapped me again.
His dad was vicious to his mother.
I saw him smile.
What was taht?
He was the nicest person.
He had long black hair,
combing his long hair
When we made love it got
loose
before.
He took me to the dinner,
made me go out with this boss.
I didn't want to go.
He kicked me under the table,
told me to look happy,
told me to smile.
I smiled.
He kicked me again
asked me who I was trying to
fuck,
asked me to stop coming
on to everyone.
I stopped smiling.
He kicked me again.
This went on and on.
Outside the restaurant
he grabbed my hair
and pulled me down to
the curb
it had been snowing
he buried me in the show
he pounded me in the gutter
the snow was melting
it was sloppy
and mud
my hair felt like it was bleeding
I ran to..
He was drinking.
I was too.
I must have blacked out.
I woke up in the hospital
After five brain surgeries.
My hair was gone
They shaved it off.
I had to relearn to talk
and move my arms.
It took me four months
to remember how to cook
breakfast.
I remember putting
the egg in the fry pan
with the bacon
I knew the egg felt right
I just didn't remember to
crack it open
just the egg in the frying pan
in its shell
my head was bald.
After 18 years
he beat me
in the morning
when he was so nice again.
I would braid his long hair.
I would take my time
like I cared so much
and I would do it perfectly crooked.
I would make the hairs
so they would stand up
all crazy like
Then he'd go forgetting
that the brusies on my
face were his handprints
he'd walk all cocky in the street
all macho in the road
but his baid would be so crooked
and look so stupid and wrong
This shouldn't have made me that happy
it really just shouldn't have made me that happy.
Heard that he was out
with a woman
making love and she was fluffing
his hair when he was wild
on top of her
he came home
much later
and his hair was braided up all
right and tight
he passed out
from drinking
then I got up
with scissors
as he snored
and slowly walked to him
and just cut the braid off
completely off
and put it in his hand
so when he woke up
he'd scream
"what the
fuck, I am going to kill you"
and he jumped up
but I had tied his shoes
together so he coudln't run
I didn't go
back to him for three years
until I knew his hair had grown out again.
I didn't want to have sex with him.
He was drunk
I was just a piece of meat
to him
a big hole.
I tried to pretend
I was asleep.
He elbowed me, jerked me
pulled me up.
I remember thinking just get it over with
He was soft and kept pumping
and pumping until
I got sore
I said it didn't feel good
he said, "Who were you with?
Was he bigger than me?
Did you like it?"
You're like a mouse with a lion
You have to move fast
to the door.
He picked me up
like I was a rag
His eyes were numb.
I could hear my son screaming
his mouth was open and,
his tonsils,
I could see his tonsils.
My husband beat the shit out of me
He wrapped my long black hair around his hand
Jerked my head.
I tried to get my son
"Thats not your son" he said
holding my hair in his hand.
"Thats not your son anymore."
Now he calls me the middle
of night
weeping,
He didn't mean to beat his wife
He didn't mean to batter her
He's suicidal
He knows what his mother went through.
But he can't stop, my son.
They took our land
They took our ways
They took our men
We want them back.
Peace, love & vaginas,
-Trish
These last few weeks have been crazy! Between the classes, PC and the show, I've been super busy... but starting next week it'll slow down a lot. Which'll be nice considering Spring Break is in less than a month and it doesn't feel like we've been back from break that long.
So Liz and Christine were gonna come up on Friday afternoon but came Thursday night instead because of the weather. We hung out till like 3 am, and then got up for breakfast and stuff cause I had to work. They hung out in the PC office and made cards and what not, then after work I took them to the BDR for lunch. So all was well then we find out that school is closed after 4 because of the snow, meaning the show was off! I was really upset because I was so excited for it, but it meant Liz and Christine got to stay another day and watch the show last night! So Friday afternoon we took the commuter rail into Boston and went shopping at the Pru. We went in all the stores we can't afford and attempted to look like we fit in even though we looked at price tags and went "holy shit!" half the time. We wanted to catch the 8:10 train back to BSC but ended up missing it so we chilled at South Station till 10:30 and didn't get back here till late. Friday night a bunch of people came up and we drank and hung out and what not. It was really fun to have everyone together- we've never really had a party like that in our room before. We crashed around 3 or so and got up at ten yesterday morning! Had some food, showered, hung out, did nothing really. I gave the girls a tour of the school by car, it was a good time. Then we went to Quincy to pick up Alla, and the whole car ride we had truth or hypes type questions, it was very old school of us. Then we came back and went to dinner, then it was off to curtain call. The girls went out shopping and I had to get ready and warm up and everything. I was sort of nervous but not really because I knew the show would sell out and everyone would love it. My parents came out... I was SO excited. At first they didn't think they'd make it, but I think that them coming made the difference, because they don't really get to see what I do at school besides grades and stuff. I knew where they were sitting so when I got to do my monologue I could look at them. The lights were really bright so I couldn't really see their faces, but I knew they were looking right back at me! During my piece I was so afraid that I missed a part, but luckily I did not. Some girls were allowed to use scripts and stuff but I didn't, which was ok because I know this thing inside and out. After the show I got to see everyone and I got flowers, cookies and kissing bears (THANK YOU EVERYONE!). It was just awsome, I can't wait to do it all again tonight! After the show I drove Alla back to Quincy, then we came back here and went to bed. Liz and Christine left at like 8 this morning, then my dad called me at like 10:30 so I didn't get enough sleep! But now the room is clean and everything is back in order, but now I have lots of studying to do for a test tomorrow.
I'm really glad I did the show and I have the experience. Everyone who has a part in it just cares so much about the women and the cause. I think its one of my favorite things I've done in my life thus far because I really feel like I'm a part of something. Women's rights is something I'm really for, and to know I'm raising money for a shelter is just like awsome. I'm not sure how much we raised last night, but any amount of money that is helpful does something! And I'm glad my best friends and parents came out.. it just made it that much more!!
Ok I'm avoiding studying like the plague, but I'll post my monologue for those who can't come or didn't make it out to the show.
Crooked Braid
He wanted to go out.
He said to me "You stay home"
I said "I wanted to go out"
He said "You have a baby"
I said "Its our baby"
I laid the baby down.
He probably felt my tension
Cause he was whimpering,
the baby.
I looked up
and he slapped me, my husband.
Not a blast that turns your eyes blue.
That came later
It was a smack
A hard domestic smack.
He looked at me.
He was smiling.
I couldn't believe it.
He was smiling.
He slapped me again.
His dad was vicious to his mother.
I saw him smile.
What was taht?
He was the nicest person.
He had long black hair,
combing his long hair
When we made love it got
loose
before.
He took me to the dinner,
made me go out with this boss.
I didn't want to go.
He kicked me under the table,
told me to look happy,
told me to smile.
I smiled.
He kicked me again
asked me who I was trying to
fuck,
asked me to stop coming
on to everyone.
I stopped smiling.
He kicked me again.
This went on and on.
Outside the restaurant
he grabbed my hair
and pulled me down to
the curb
it had been snowing
he buried me in the show
he pounded me in the gutter
the snow was melting
it was sloppy
and mud
my hair felt like it was bleeding
I ran to..
He was drinking.
I was too.
I must have blacked out.
I woke up in the hospital
After five brain surgeries.
My hair was gone
They shaved it off.
I had to relearn to talk
and move my arms.
It took me four months
to remember how to cook
breakfast.
I remember putting
the egg in the fry pan
with the bacon
I knew the egg felt right
I just didn't remember to
crack it open
just the egg in the frying pan
in its shell
my head was bald.
After 18 years
he beat me
in the morning
when he was so nice again.
I would braid his long hair.
I would take my time
like I cared so much
and I would do it perfectly crooked.
I would make the hairs
so they would stand up
all crazy like
Then he'd go forgetting
that the brusies on my
face were his handprints
he'd walk all cocky in the street
all macho in the road
but his baid would be so crooked
and look so stupid and wrong
This shouldn't have made me that happy
it really just shouldn't have made me that happy.
Heard that he was out
with a woman
making love and she was fluffing
his hair when he was wild
on top of her
he came home
much later
and his hair was braided up all
right and tight
he passed out
from drinking
then I got up
with scissors
as he snored
and slowly walked to him
and just cut the braid off
completely off
and put it in his hand
so when he woke up
he'd scream
"what the
fuck, I am going to kill you"
and he jumped up
but I had tied his shoes
together so he coudln't run
I didn't go
back to him for three years
until I knew his hair had grown out again.
I didn't want to have sex with him.
He was drunk
I was just a piece of meat
to him
a big hole.
I tried to pretend
I was asleep.
He elbowed me, jerked me
pulled me up.
I remember thinking just get it over with
He was soft and kept pumping
and pumping until
I got sore
I said it didn't feel good
he said, "Who were you with?
Was he bigger than me?
Did you like it?"
You're like a mouse with a lion
You have to move fast
to the door.
He picked me up
like I was a rag
His eyes were numb.
I could hear my son screaming
his mouth was open and,
his tonsils,
I could see his tonsils.
My husband beat the shit out of me
He wrapped my long black hair around his hand
Jerked my head.
I tried to get my son
"Thats not your son" he said
holding my hair in his hand.
"Thats not your son anymore."
Now he calls me the middle
of night
weeping,
He didn't mean to beat his wife
He didn't mean to batter her
He's suicidal
He knows what his mother went through.
But he can't stop, my son.
They took our land
They took our ways
They took our men
We want them back.
Peace, love & vaginas,
-Trish