NEED A NEW LIFE
OMG I am so sick of everything around here. I so need a new life!!! Well at least New fucking Friends. I hate sitting at home being hoed out! I want some people I cna go out with and do things with while I have been comepeletely left alone by my loveing ass boyfriend who never comes arouddn anymore and doesn't want me to come around either. So seriously I should just get over all of it and get my fricken life back!
My cousin thinks I shoudl try out for the Real World...Yea right okay! It would be fun to go and meet new people but come on you know me how could I leave my mom that long?? HaHa. And what if I didn't get along with someone-I have the biggest mouth! Some shit would really go down!
Truth is at this moment I would acctually consider it seriously, because I just want to get out and have a good time and be my age and hang out with people my age and act like it. I want to go out to the clubs and to the bars. And I don't want to have to come hoem and explain myself to a million different people and I don't want to have to feel guilty or sorry for anything that I did. Because it is obvious that other people in my life don't feel bad about going out and doing whatever...so why can't I?
Like I have changed so much from who I use to be I am not the same person anymore and I just need the room to grow as a person and find myself as a person without my family and my boyfriend right behind me watching every move. I had this family party before i went to Mexico and my Bestest Childhood friend..who is also a 5th cousin was there and as soon as she saw me she started to frick out. Saying that I was not her best friend that I didn't even look the same, let alone act the same.
I am not saying I want to be a party girl because I already did that in high school but I dont want to sit at home all the time either. I want soemthign in the middle, I just want to go out and have a good time. I use to be able to do that and it was nice when I could do that with my boyfriend but now I can't and I just feel bad if I do because then when he asks what I did or what I've been up to I can't lie and say nothing but then I knwo he gets upset about certain things. And at the moment I just feel that it is unfair becaue he goes out and has a life so why shouldn't I? He has no remorse or cares what he does and that he didn't call and why should I have to feel guilty because I did that?
My cousin thinks I shoudl try out for the Real World...Yea right okay! It would be fun to go and meet new people but come on you know me how could I leave my mom that long?? HaHa. And what if I didn't get along with someone-I have the biggest mouth! Some shit would really go down!
Truth is at this moment I would acctually consider it seriously, because I just want to get out and have a good time and be my age and hang out with people my age and act like it. I want to go out to the clubs and to the bars. And I don't want to have to come hoem and explain myself to a million different people and I don't want to have to feel guilty or sorry for anything that I did. Because it is obvious that other people in my life don't feel bad about going out and doing whatever...so why can't I?
Like I have changed so much from who I use to be I am not the same person anymore and I just need the room to grow as a person and find myself as a person without my family and my boyfriend right behind me watching every move. I had this family party before i went to Mexico and my Bestest Childhood friend..who is also a 5th cousin was there and as soon as she saw me she started to frick out. Saying that I was not her best friend that I didn't even look the same, let alone act the same.
I am not saying I want to be a party girl because I already did that in high school but I dont want to sit at home all the time either. I want soemthign in the middle, I just want to go out and have a good time. I use to be able to do that and it was nice when I could do that with my boyfriend but now I can't and I just feel bad if I do because then when he asks what I did or what I've been up to I can't lie and say nothing but then I knwo he gets upset about certain things. And at the moment I just feel that it is unfair becaue he goes out and has a life so why shouldn't I? He has no remorse or cares what he does and that he didn't call and why should I have to feel guilty because I did that?