with magic so tragic
730 days have gone by since i officially left good ol' US of A. unbelievable. it seems like it was yesterday. it seems like it was forever. bad experiences. good experiences. new experiences.
little did i know that day just how challenging the next few months, even years, were gonna be. that day i didnt cry. i didnt feel anything. i was completly numb, so surreal.
it didnt hit me the first month either. since i was at my grandma's it felt just like any other vacation, i've stayed for weeks at a time there and always ended up going back. first day of school was overwhelming. then the second day...thats when it finally hit me...i really wasnt going back, not for awhile anyways. and that realization was completly shocking and horrible to me.
a year went by, and i was able to visit. a small reward for the worst year of my life. i really shouldn't be complaining, compared to the vast majority i've had an amazing life. but they were the hardest months i ever had to go through. day after day being invisible, day after day of not finding what i wanted. because i knew what i wanted. and once you had true friends, its impossible to settle for anything else. thats not to say my cali friends dissapered...but i must admit the relationship changes when its hundreds of miles away.
i came back from those glorious two weeks and i almost couldnt make it. the little taste left me wanting much much more. and although maybe i was worse than before, i did not regret visiting, not one little bit.
2 more months passed. i started the whole college search, and no matter how i angled it, it turned out i would have to study down here. i couldnt bear the thought of 4 more years here, but there really was no other option.
but then, destiny intervened. and i met chichita. and belita. and we started going out with the boys every weekend. and we just clicked. and they understood, because they had gone through similar experiences. and we were looking for the same thing. and we were lucky enough to find it in each other
since october i can officially say i've been better. since november i can say i've been happy. i found a best-friend equivalent in a boy, something i always wanted to find. in december michelly came and i was able to share my life with her. i got into a top college. and i finally (finally!) had true friends down here
summer was lazy and uneventful for the most part. a trip to the beach might have been nice, but you can't have everything in life.
college started, and i made friends. Ili and i are getting really close. and i'm doing fairly well, although it does keep me super busy. i do miss lazyness at times.
every weekend i go out, or at least get to hang out with people that love me. and people who (whom?) i love. an amazing boyfriend, amazing friends. and i still keep in touch with the truly important people, those that are with me every day in my heart. and i miss them more than i can say. and slowly but surely we are finding out place in the world. and we have discovered its not necessary to live next door to keep the "us" alive. some forces are stronger than that.
i lead a truly amazing life. and the best part is that its just starting. i adore being young.
and thats why i still sleep in the air
little did i know that day just how challenging the next few months, even years, were gonna be. that day i didnt cry. i didnt feel anything. i was completly numb, so surreal.
it didnt hit me the first month either. since i was at my grandma's it felt just like any other vacation, i've stayed for weeks at a time there and always ended up going back. first day of school was overwhelming. then the second day...thats when it finally hit me...i really wasnt going back, not for awhile anyways. and that realization was completly shocking and horrible to me.
a year went by, and i was able to visit. a small reward for the worst year of my life. i really shouldn't be complaining, compared to the vast majority i've had an amazing life. but they were the hardest months i ever had to go through. day after day being invisible, day after day of not finding what i wanted. because i knew what i wanted. and once you had true friends, its impossible to settle for anything else. thats not to say my cali friends dissapered...but i must admit the relationship changes when its hundreds of miles away.
i came back from those glorious two weeks and i almost couldnt make it. the little taste left me wanting much much more. and although maybe i was worse than before, i did not regret visiting, not one little bit.
2 more months passed. i started the whole college search, and no matter how i angled it, it turned out i would have to study down here. i couldnt bear the thought of 4 more years here, but there really was no other option.
but then, destiny intervened. and i met chichita. and belita. and we started going out with the boys every weekend. and we just clicked. and they understood, because they had gone through similar experiences. and we were looking for the same thing. and we were lucky enough to find it in each other
since october i can officially say i've been better. since november i can say i've been happy. i found a best-friend equivalent in a boy, something i always wanted to find. in december michelly came and i was able to share my life with her. i got into a top college. and i finally (finally!) had true friends down here
summer was lazy and uneventful for the most part. a trip to the beach might have been nice, but you can't have everything in life.
college started, and i made friends. Ili and i are getting really close. and i'm doing fairly well, although it does keep me super busy. i do miss lazyness at times.
every weekend i go out, or at least get to hang out with people that love me. and people who (whom?) i love. an amazing boyfriend, amazing friends. and i still keep in touch with the truly important people, those that are with me every day in my heart. and i miss them more than i can say. and slowly but surely we are finding out place in the world. and we have discovered its not necessary to live next door to keep the "us" alive. some forces are stronger than that.
i lead a truly amazing life. and the best part is that its just starting. i adore being young.
and thats why i still sleep in the air