why
hi. good stuff....reading old entries. its crazy how sometimes memories have a way of completely changing your mood. i mean completely. but maybe its just me. i mean, i feel like my mood changes every 45 seconds. thats why they call me impulsive i guess. it really fucks with my head though. like how am i supposed to figure out who i am when my mood and feelings and thoughts change 1000 times a day? huh? can anyone tell me that? like i think ive got it figured out and then out of nowhere im lost all over again. maybe its just that people give me their input and i think their thoughts are better than mine?? but deep down i dont truly think that other peoples' advice is better than mine. i think that each individual person has their own individual feelings for a reason. when we try to fit in, or follow in someone else's footsteps, or live up to someones expectations is when we get fucked up in the head. i really miss jaclyn. i feel like i can relate to her. and i feel like we can relate to eachother. i mean, i believe that its important to surround yourself with people who u feel comfortable with, and people who you share the same beliefs with. maybe thats why im having such a hard time - because i feel like the people around me are going in a completely different direction that i am? instead of constantly questioning my thoughts and beliefs because the people around me dont agree, maybe i need to be confident in my thoughts and beliefs. maybe this is why i feel like im having such a hard time figuring out who i am....because whenever i think i do, i have most of the people around me telling me that a different way is better. whew this whole growing up thing - why do i feel like its so exausting? everyone else seems to be fine. and im going crazy inside. o well. i thikn its important that i get all this shit out, and since i feel like the only people who truly understand are hours away, the computer will do for the time being.
miss you amy.
miss you amy.