(no subject)
After posting about Scott, the aussie boy I met in Auckland who ended up being a great person who then came out to his mother as a result of our time together...I decided to go ahead and post the email chain that took place after our meeting. Also, there is a pic of him at the end. I think he is beautiful, even if others may not, so whatever. Though, I will say that he is 10 times more striking in person than even in this pic. It think the strength of his jaw and angular face are lost in this pic, as is the impressiveness of his upperbody muscles, which are somewhat hidden by the baggy athletic shirt in this pic. But enough of making excuses for him. He is a a great guy who is beautiful on the inside and out. I hope that his emails give you that same sense.
Oh, also, in re-reading his emails I recalled an important fact that I neglected to share in my previous entry about Scott. One of the things that was making it difficult for him to come out to his mom, on top of the normal stuff, is that when he was 17 years old, his dad came out as gay and they got divorced. What a trip, huh!?
Anyway, this was his first email...
Hiya Ty,
Just wanted to send you an email before I lost the
piece of paper you wrote it on.
So nice to meet you the other day. I have had a few
chuckles when I think back to how I went up to you in
the club. I am normally a bit shy so it took some
guts for me to come up and say that. I almost ruined
it by running away straight after, but I did notice
your smile when I said it so that gave me the courage
to go back once more. You have a beautiful smile.
Your eyes light up as well as your mouth and the eyes
really do tell you a bit about the soul.
You really were the sexiest man in the club.
Something about you really drew my attention from the
start.
Sorry again for the terrible accomodation. :) We
stayed at the club so long because your room was
already taken and I was too embarrassed by mine. But
we got there in the end and you were great about it.
And it was nice sleeping with you for a bit (after the
other fun stuff). You were a good height and fit like
a piece in a jigsaw. Despite the small bed, I slept
well and I normally can't sleep with anyone. Sorry if
I was a bit "out of it" when you left. I was still
half asleep.
I'm glad we met again on the street. Was nice to see
your eyes were better. Besides being a sexy man, you
are a top bloke. You definitely made an impression.
Well, I hope you have a great time in southern New
Zealand. Hope you don't freeze your nuts off. Hope
you have a great stay in Australia.
Stay in touch. You never know where we might meet
again. Just so that you don't forget what I look
like, here is a photo.
Cheers mate.
Scott
Then, the next day before I could respond to that first email, he sent this second email apologizing profusely for sending the first one to what he thought was my work email address. As a private closeted individual, he was mortified that he may have compromised my privacy at work and he was really down on himself as you will see...
Hi again,
I am soooo sorry. I just sent a rather personal email
to your work account (I think). I got off the
computer and started writing your email addresses down
in my address book and realised that the encore credit
address sounded a bit work related. I don't know why
I didn't think of it when I first put it into the
computer. I didn't know which one you would be
looking at first and I didn't think much further than
that. I had the impression that you were checking
both accounts when you were away so I just didn't
think about one of them being a work address.
So I sent the email to both.
Anyway, when I realised, I got back on the internet
and did a search on Encore Credit and was horrified to
see that it was a company so you probably work there.
Shit, shit, shit, shit. I feel soooo bad. The email
wasn't too dirty I don't think but it was a bit too
personal. I really hope that no-one looks at your
emails when you are away. I want the ground to
swallow me up and eat me. I really hope I haven't
caused you any trouble. I wouldn't do this to my
worst enemy and I did it to you. That upsets me more
than you can imagine. I thought I was being nice in
saying what I said in the email. Normally the
intention counts for something but this is something
else. I wish I could recall the email but I can't do
that from yahoo.
I hope you can forgive me but I don't blame you if you
don't want anything more to do with me.
I am not too religious anymore but I was actually
thinking that it was kind of amazing how I met you and
that maybe there was a reason for it. We live in
different countries so nothing is likely to come of
it, but I was thinking that maybe we met so that I
could learn something. I didn't realise it would be
this. I already know that I can sometimes act before
I think.
I wish I didn't have to stuff someone else up to learn
that lesson. Maybe it is God teaching me to pray
again, because all I can do now is pray that you don't
have the kind of job where other people read your
emails. I am praying that your job is more like mine
where the emails don't get touched by others. Maybe
it is a lesson to accept good things when they come to
me and then let them go.
I'm soooo sorry. I sincerely hope you can enjoy the
rest of your holiday.
Bye :(
Scott
This is my response to him, the poor thing...
Scott,
Oh my God...I can't believe you have been going through such a difficult time over the email. I got the email at this address and thought it was really excellent. It was good to know that you had as good an experience as I did. I didn't expect such a great response, and so soon as wel!
Please don't even worry about the work email thing. First, no one reads my emails at work (that I know of), and second, I really don't care if they did. I am completely out at work, and God knows I have received and sent emails with much more provocative material than what you said in yours. So, please don't spend another second worrying about it, and definitely stop feeling bad about saying what you did. There is nothing in there that I would be ashamed of anyone reading.
I don't have a lot of time to write all the things I might like to at the moment, so I will end here. But I wanted to make sure you got a response from me so that you knew that I had an equally great time and that you should stop feeling bad immediately. I can tell that you are a truly awesome person on a lot of levels, in addition to being absolutely beautiful and gaze-worthy!
Take care, Hotty Scotty, I will write more soon!
Ty
And finally, this is his response to my assurance that I was the furthest thing from upset at him for sending his initial email...
Hi Ty,
Wow, thanks so much for your kind words. I really did
beat myself up about it for a couple of days. I felt
that it might have been the worst thing I had done in
my entire life. But then I decided, shit, I can't do
anything about it now. Instead of looking at the
worst possibility, I would look for the best so I was
hoping (and praying - wow it works) that you wouldn't
care and that you might actually appreciate my first
email and my good intentions. Your reaction was
exactly what I was hoping for. So thank you, that is
certainly a huge relief. It also definitely says a
lot about you as a person. Something special.
Anyway, something good has come out of beating myself
up. I was so down early in the week that I ended up
deciding to take what good I was able to get from
meeting you and use your inspiration to come out to my mum.
Aaaaahhh!!! I wasn't planning to tell her for ages.
Because of everything that
happened with my dad I was scared to tell her. I
thought I would ball my eyes out because I have held
it in for so long but it actually went really well.
Mum had a few tears but that was it. I thought she
would blame my dad and herself, and worry that I had
some disease or something.
But I guess she has learnt a lot over the years and
she is in a much better position to understand and
accept things. When my dad left she cried every day
for a couple of years at least which was really hard
to live with (I was 17 when dad left). I felt her
pain but felt guilty for it as well, because I was
just like my dad. So it has taken me a long time to
get to this point, but wow, what a relief. I even
told her that I met a GREAT American guy in NZ. (I
also told a girlfriend of mine and she was very
jealous when I described you)
Now I need to tell my brother and sister which I
hadn't even thought about, then my whole extended
family is going to know. So I might as well tell the
rest of my close friends. That is still going to be
hard but I've got the momentum to do it now. Can't
wait really because it is time for me to live my life
as ME. So you should know that meeting you (and then me being
careless with my email) has helped me take the next
step. So thank you for coming into my life and being
such a great person. If you hadn't been, I wouldn't
have written such an email and I wouldn't have ended
up telling my mum.
Wow, what a relief. Things are looking good for the
future. :)
Changing the topic, how was the South Island of NZ?
Cold? I hear it is very beautiful. You are probably
in Australia by now. Maybe in Sydney for the weekend.
If so, check out the Columbian Hotel on Oxford St. I
really like it there. Not too dingy like a lot of gay
clubs.
I had been invited to a party in Sydney this weekend
at Woolamaloo Wharf which is on the harbour and a cool
spot, but didn't go because I had another party here
in Melbourne last night. Wish I had gone to Sydney.
Might have been able to catch up with you again. Oh
well, at least I have your photo to drool over. You
are very sexy, just in case I forgot to tell you
already. ;)
Anyway, time for me to go. Have a great time in OZ.
Chat again soon.
Cheers
Scott
Oh, also, in re-reading his emails I recalled an important fact that I neglected to share in my previous entry about Scott. One of the things that was making it difficult for him to come out to his mom, on top of the normal stuff, is that when he was 17 years old, his dad came out as gay and they got divorced. What a trip, huh!?
Anyway, this was his first email...
Hiya Ty,
Just wanted to send you an email before I lost the
piece of paper you wrote it on.
So nice to meet you the other day. I have had a few
chuckles when I think back to how I went up to you in
the club. I am normally a bit shy so it took some
guts for me to come up and say that. I almost ruined
it by running away straight after, but I did notice
your smile when I said it so that gave me the courage
to go back once more. You have a beautiful smile.
Your eyes light up as well as your mouth and the eyes
really do tell you a bit about the soul.
You really were the sexiest man in the club.
Something about you really drew my attention from the
start.
Sorry again for the terrible accomodation. :) We
stayed at the club so long because your room was
already taken and I was too embarrassed by mine. But
we got there in the end and you were great about it.
And it was nice sleeping with you for a bit (after the
other fun stuff). You were a good height and fit like
a piece in a jigsaw. Despite the small bed, I slept
well and I normally can't sleep with anyone. Sorry if
I was a bit "out of it" when you left. I was still
half asleep.
I'm glad we met again on the street. Was nice to see
your eyes were better. Besides being a sexy man, you
are a top bloke. You definitely made an impression.
Well, I hope you have a great time in southern New
Zealand. Hope you don't freeze your nuts off. Hope
you have a great stay in Australia.
Stay in touch. You never know where we might meet
again. Just so that you don't forget what I look
like, here is a photo.
Cheers mate.
Scott
Then, the next day before I could respond to that first email, he sent this second email apologizing profusely for sending the first one to what he thought was my work email address. As a private closeted individual, he was mortified that he may have compromised my privacy at work and he was really down on himself as you will see...
Hi again,
I am soooo sorry. I just sent a rather personal email
to your work account (I think). I got off the
computer and started writing your email addresses down
in my address book and realised that the encore credit
address sounded a bit work related. I don't know why
I didn't think of it when I first put it into the
computer. I didn't know which one you would be
looking at first and I didn't think much further than
that. I had the impression that you were checking
both accounts when you were away so I just didn't
think about one of them being a work address.
So I sent the email to both.
Anyway, when I realised, I got back on the internet
and did a search on Encore Credit and was horrified to
see that it was a company so you probably work there.
Shit, shit, shit, shit. I feel soooo bad. The email
wasn't too dirty I don't think but it was a bit too
personal. I really hope that no-one looks at your
emails when you are away. I want the ground to
swallow me up and eat me. I really hope I haven't
caused you any trouble. I wouldn't do this to my
worst enemy and I did it to you. That upsets me more
than you can imagine. I thought I was being nice in
saying what I said in the email. Normally the
intention counts for something but this is something
else. I wish I could recall the email but I can't do
that from yahoo.
I hope you can forgive me but I don't blame you if you
don't want anything more to do with me.
I am not too religious anymore but I was actually
thinking that it was kind of amazing how I met you and
that maybe there was a reason for it. We live in
different countries so nothing is likely to come of
it, but I was thinking that maybe we met so that I
could learn something. I didn't realise it would be
this. I already know that I can sometimes act before
I think.
I wish I didn't have to stuff someone else up to learn
that lesson. Maybe it is God teaching me to pray
again, because all I can do now is pray that you don't
have the kind of job where other people read your
emails. I am praying that your job is more like mine
where the emails don't get touched by others. Maybe
it is a lesson to accept good things when they come to
me and then let them go.
I'm soooo sorry. I sincerely hope you can enjoy the
rest of your holiday.
Bye :(
Scott
This is my response to him, the poor thing...
Scott,
Oh my God...I can't believe you have been going through such a difficult time over the email. I got the email at this address and thought it was really excellent. It was good to know that you had as good an experience as I did. I didn't expect such a great response, and so soon as wel!
Please don't even worry about the work email thing. First, no one reads my emails at work (that I know of), and second, I really don't care if they did. I am completely out at work, and God knows I have received and sent emails with much more provocative material than what you said in yours. So, please don't spend another second worrying about it, and definitely stop feeling bad about saying what you did. There is nothing in there that I would be ashamed of anyone reading.
I don't have a lot of time to write all the things I might like to at the moment, so I will end here. But I wanted to make sure you got a response from me so that you knew that I had an equally great time and that you should stop feeling bad immediately. I can tell that you are a truly awesome person on a lot of levels, in addition to being absolutely beautiful and gaze-worthy!
Take care, Hotty Scotty, I will write more soon!
Ty
And finally, this is his response to my assurance that I was the furthest thing from upset at him for sending his initial email...
Hi Ty,
Wow, thanks so much for your kind words. I really did
beat myself up about it for a couple of days. I felt
that it might have been the worst thing I had done in
my entire life. But then I decided, shit, I can't do
anything about it now. Instead of looking at the
worst possibility, I would look for the best so I was
hoping (and praying - wow it works) that you wouldn't
care and that you might actually appreciate my first
email and my good intentions. Your reaction was
exactly what I was hoping for. So thank you, that is
certainly a huge relief. It also definitely says a
lot about you as a person. Something special.
Anyway, something good has come out of beating myself
up. I was so down early in the week that I ended up
deciding to take what good I was able to get from
meeting you and use your inspiration to come out to my mum.
Aaaaahhh!!! I wasn't planning to tell her for ages.
Because of everything that
happened with my dad I was scared to tell her. I
thought I would ball my eyes out because I have held
it in for so long but it actually went really well.
Mum had a few tears but that was it. I thought she
would blame my dad and herself, and worry that I had
some disease or something.
But I guess she has learnt a lot over the years and
she is in a much better position to understand and
accept things. When my dad left she cried every day
for a couple of years at least which was really hard
to live with (I was 17 when dad left). I felt her
pain but felt guilty for it as well, because I was
just like my dad. So it has taken me a long time to
get to this point, but wow, what a relief. I even
told her that I met a GREAT American guy in NZ. (I
also told a girlfriend of mine and she was very
jealous when I described you)
Now I need to tell my brother and sister which I
hadn't even thought about, then my whole extended
family is going to know. So I might as well tell the
rest of my close friends. That is still going to be
hard but I've got the momentum to do it now. Can't
wait really because it is time for me to live my life
as ME. So you should know that meeting you (and then me being
careless with my email) has helped me take the next
step. So thank you for coming into my life and being
such a great person. If you hadn't been, I wouldn't
have written such an email and I wouldn't have ended
up telling my mum.
Wow, what a relief. Things are looking good for the
future. :)
Changing the topic, how was the South Island of NZ?
Cold? I hear it is very beautiful. You are probably
in Australia by now. Maybe in Sydney for the weekend.
If so, check out the Columbian Hotel on Oxford St. I
really like it there. Not too dingy like a lot of gay
clubs.
I had been invited to a party in Sydney this weekend
at Woolamaloo Wharf which is on the harbour and a cool
spot, but didn't go because I had another party here
in Melbourne last night. Wish I had gone to Sydney.
Might have been able to catch up with you again. Oh
well, at least I have your photo to drool over. You
are very sexy, just in case I forgot to tell you
already. ;)
Anyway, time for me to go. Have a great time in OZ.
Chat again soon.
Cheers
Scott