rain falls hard on the city
I wanna go back to school. Maybe. I don't even know what I want. I don't want to exist. I'm fat. Last night my dad sat me down and had a "talk" with me about it. Apparently he's concerned for my health. Among other things. My parents used to make fun of me and stuff but this was the first time it was a "serious concern". I have probably never felt so disgusting in my life. Maybe I have. Not in recent memory, certainly.
This morning I ran on the treadmill until I was crying. I probably would have thrown up but I didn't eat anything. Probably really healthy. Not. Then I drank a bottle of water and cried some more. Then I sat at the kitchen table, spaced out, and listened to music. Oh yeah and cried. It wasn't even sad music. I'm glad no one's home.
Wow, awesome. I love being irrational and emotional. How was I so happy at school and then I come home and my life takes a shit on me? I was terrified this was going to happen, and it would appear rightly so.
This morning I ran on the treadmill until I was crying. I probably would have thrown up but I didn't eat anything. Probably really healthy. Not. Then I drank a bottle of water and cried some more. Then I sat at the kitchen table, spaced out, and listened to music. Oh yeah and cried. It wasn't even sad music. I'm glad no one's home.
Wow, awesome. I love being irrational and emotional. How was I so happy at school and then I come home and my life takes a shit on me? I was terrified this was going to happen, and it would appear rightly so.