(no subject)
I don't think I will ever be able to look at those brown UPS trucks the same way anymore. ha.
This past week has been so incredibly awesome. It was always so much harder before when I was all alone, or living with someone who forgot she had a roommate (also alone.) But now I have a great roommate and her great friends who are now mine who come over so I don't exactly have time to get upset and be depressed. My friends are all being so amazing and I'm glad I see how great they are now. I've been going out and actually enjoying myself, doing all of my work (I'm working on the going to class thing now), and I am getting my self respect, self confidence, and self-esteem back. Other people see it too. I know what I do and do not deserve now. And I have prevented a few people already from walking all over me. I woke up this morning though, thinking about him. I was thinking about how I miss waking up next to him and staying at his house and just him in general. It hurts that I don't exactly know what to miss considering it was never really there for him. But this same fact helps. I loved him with all my heart and I did everything for him or to try to make him happy. He didn't return the gesture, and I deserve someone who will. I miss him. A lot. But the truth is (I hate to admit it even to myself), I'm happy.
This past week has been so incredibly awesome. It was always so much harder before when I was all alone, or living with someone who forgot she had a roommate (also alone.) But now I have a great roommate and her great friends who are now mine who come over so I don't exactly have time to get upset and be depressed. My friends are all being so amazing and I'm glad I see how great they are now. I've been going out and actually enjoying myself, doing all of my work (I'm working on the going to class thing now), and I am getting my self respect, self confidence, and self-esteem back. Other people see it too. I know what I do and do not deserve now. And I have prevented a few people already from walking all over me. I woke up this morning though, thinking about him. I was thinking about how I miss waking up next to him and staying at his house and just him in general. It hurts that I don't exactly know what to miss considering it was never really there for him. But this same fact helps. I loved him with all my heart and I did everything for him or to try to make him happy. He didn't return the gesture, and I deserve someone who will. I miss him. A lot. But the truth is (I hate to admit it even to myself), I'm happy.