i am lost
i am so stressed right now. like i cant even breath right without my mind running 192750237844 miles a minute. i have never had this much homework in my life. and it really just sucks so bad. i tried to go out last nite and all i thought about was all the shitty homework i have to do. and to top it off i'm not seeing mat for a week and were broken up. and i will bet anyone all the money i have that i will not see him in a week. because it always plays out like this. And you know what made it that much worse...i was talking 2 amanda miskar for like an hour on campus yesterday, and she was like yeah i realy hope you guys get back together, i liked you guys together. and all i could say was yeah...and she asked what happened and so i told her, and she said the same thing happened with her and jason. and i was like well how are you still together? and she said we love each other. and i had absolutly nothing to say. then she was like well u'll see him tonight and i'm sure it will work out if not hes being stupid. or something along those lines. but u know what? i didn't see him. not even for 5 minutes. and u know u said he wanted to go out with his friends. and i was the one who said give it a week. but he was the one who said "i'll tell u tomorrow". and the last thing i want to do is rush him. but i am just so stressed and i keep getting so edgy. i just wanted one thing to work out i guess. and now is the time i needed him the most. but i guess i'm doing all i can...and i'm really interested to see if we actually hang out in a week...who knows
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Oh great here I go again I'm stuck in this rut and I'm not sure how to begin- should I tell you everything? What are you so afraid of? I'm feeling out of luck so I won't see you soon 'cause I know it's too soon for you to see me- if this is the last thing you do just tell me that it's o.k. for me to have these feelings for you and that it's normal to want to call you. Oh I'm dialing the phone and I'm letting it ring for hours and I'm pretending to hear your voice- Why does my heart always beat before yours does? After a while you can make yourself believe in almost anything, so I'm making myself believe in you. Don't leave yet it's still early and I haven't even said a word and I'm hoping that I might upset you by saying what I want to 'cause it's not like you don't know I've fallen for you but it's in my head and that's where you can't see it and I thought that maybe if I had to bite the tips of my fingers I could stumble over words and tell you just how far before I hit the ground and I'm the type to think of all the wrong things to say and I will shut myself up and I'll never come out- I'll close all my doors and only show you the black spots where my eyes once were- I can say this- I can collect myself deep down and then come out punching and I'll scream out loud that you're not seeing what I'm missing 'cause I am missing you and I think that we should run as fast as we can into what we don't know- it's time to let me in because I feel just fine.
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You are a razor blade
You are precision-cut
You are a stare sharp as the tack in my eye?
At rest in my veins
[Your pulse in my neck?]
As sharp-edged as questions the time I have left
And so you are on my mind.
I need a burning stake
I need a piercing dart
I need something as hot as it is sharp
And I need to bleed
I need to burn
I need a sure thing
I need a sure thing
And you are a mystery to me
You are a paper bird
Folded and folded and creased
And bent and shaped from a five dollar bill
It's priceless to me
And never spent
It hangs from a ceiling fan over my bed
And so you are on my mind
I need a burning stake
I need a piercing dart
I need something as hot as it is sharp
And I need to bleed
I need to burn
I need a sure thing
And you are a mystery to me
I'll hang my hopes all at once on a rope
There's a possibility that this is happening to someone who's not me
I'll hold my head
Keep it still and pretend
That these spins and the webs
Are actually desirable
I need a burning stake
I need a piercing dart
I need something as hot as it is sharp
And I need to bleed I need to burn
I need a sure thing
And you are a mystery to me
-------------------------------------------
Dear you,
This envelope will represent my heart. I'll seal it, send it off and wish it luck with its depart. This stamp will be every action and carry my affection across the air and land and sea. Should I trust the postage due? To deliver my heart to you? I hope this helps you see. My letter will read I am always daydreaming hoping youve dreamt of the same thing. I've gotta stay calm I don't want this to change. I've been assuming everything hoping you'll soon mean everything. I've gotta stay calm I want this to be real. I don't think you're into me but truely thats okay with me. I wish it didn't mean that much to me. I wish it meant just as much as it means to you. I've gotta stay calm and find out how you feel. So if you wanna say 'I-I-I like you', I might feel just like you. If you choose-choose not to, I knew you-you would. Sometimes I think I am out of my league and then sometimes I think I can dream. Sometimes I wish I could be the one fish that you choose out of all in the sea.We are non existant but I'll try to be persistant. I've gotta keep on if want to be close to you I know you're uninterested. Im probably just some stupid kid I could give up if you would want me to but i just wanted to say i could be everything you need...tonight and forever.
Signed,
Sincerely me.
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Oh great here I go again I'm stuck in this rut and I'm not sure how to begin- should I tell you everything? What are you so afraid of? I'm feeling out of luck so I won't see you soon 'cause I know it's too soon for you to see me- if this is the last thing you do just tell me that it's o.k. for me to have these feelings for you and that it's normal to want to call you. Oh I'm dialing the phone and I'm letting it ring for hours and I'm pretending to hear your voice- Why does my heart always beat before yours does? After a while you can make yourself believe in almost anything, so I'm making myself believe in you. Don't leave yet it's still early and I haven't even said a word and I'm hoping that I might upset you by saying what I want to 'cause it's not like you don't know I've fallen for you but it's in my head and that's where you can't see it and I thought that maybe if I had to bite the tips of my fingers I could stumble over words and tell you just how far before I hit the ground and I'm the type to think of all the wrong things to say and I will shut myself up and I'll never come out- I'll close all my doors and only show you the black spots where my eyes once were- I can say this- I can collect myself deep down and then come out punching and I'll scream out loud that you're not seeing what I'm missing 'cause I am missing you and I think that we should run as fast as we can into what we don't know- it's time to let me in because I feel just fine.
----------------------------------------------
You are a razor blade
You are precision-cut
You are a stare sharp as the tack in my eye?
At rest in my veins
[Your pulse in my neck?]
As sharp-edged as questions the time I have left
And so you are on my mind.
I need a burning stake
I need a piercing dart
I need something as hot as it is sharp
And I need to bleed
I need to burn
I need a sure thing
I need a sure thing
And you are a mystery to me
You are a paper bird
Folded and folded and creased
And bent and shaped from a five dollar bill
It's priceless to me
And never spent
It hangs from a ceiling fan over my bed
And so you are on my mind
I need a burning stake
I need a piercing dart
I need something as hot as it is sharp
And I need to bleed
I need to burn
I need a sure thing
And you are a mystery to me
I'll hang my hopes all at once on a rope
There's a possibility that this is happening to someone who's not me
I'll hold my head
Keep it still and pretend
That these spins and the webs
Are actually desirable
I need a burning stake
I need a piercing dart
I need something as hot as it is sharp
And I need to bleed I need to burn
I need a sure thing
And you are a mystery to me
-------------------------------------------
Dear you,
This envelope will represent my heart. I'll seal it, send it off and wish it luck with its depart. This stamp will be every action and carry my affection across the air and land and sea. Should I trust the postage due? To deliver my heart to you? I hope this helps you see. My letter will read I am always daydreaming hoping youve dreamt of the same thing. I've gotta stay calm I don't want this to change. I've been assuming everything hoping you'll soon mean everything. I've gotta stay calm I want this to be real. I don't think you're into me but truely thats okay with me. I wish it didn't mean that much to me. I wish it meant just as much as it means to you. I've gotta stay calm and find out how you feel. So if you wanna say 'I-I-I like you', I might feel just like you. If you choose-choose not to, I knew you-you would. Sometimes I think I am out of my league and then sometimes I think I can dream. Sometimes I wish I could be the one fish that you choose out of all in the sea.We are non existant but I'll try to be persistant. I've gotta keep on if want to be close to you I know you're uninterested. Im probably just some stupid kid I could give up if you would want me to but i just wanted to say i could be everything you need...tonight and forever.
Signed,
Sincerely me.