(no subject)
gosh i miss him so much. i still think about him everyday but i keep telling myself to forget about him because i don't even have a chance with him. we'll never be together again and i just have to somehow make myself understand that.
i have a week left of high school. one fucking week. and then my childhood is really over.
its like, the end of the beginning, but the beginning of the rest of my life. because i am no longer a child but a young adult. life as i knew it for the past 18 years is now my past, and i'm looking towards the future with a different outlook.
i have begun to slip away again, into the way i used to be a few years ago. i can't go back though, as much as i try. i've started smoking again which has already almost gotten me in trouble twice in the past 2 weeks. i can't stop that either. it just calms me and i know that nothing good will come out of it but nothing too bad can happen either so for now it works.
i'm just trying to see the point of it all, hopefully one day i will and maybe in the process i will find my way in this world.
i have a week left of high school. one fucking week. and then my childhood is really over.
its like, the end of the beginning, but the beginning of the rest of my life. because i am no longer a child but a young adult. life as i knew it for the past 18 years is now my past, and i'm looking towards the future with a different outlook.
i have begun to slip away again, into the way i used to be a few years ago. i can't go back though, as much as i try. i've started smoking again which has already almost gotten me in trouble twice in the past 2 weeks. i can't stop that either. it just calms me and i know that nothing good will come out of it but nothing too bad can happen either so for now it works.
i'm just trying to see the point of it all, hopefully one day i will and maybe in the process i will find my way in this world.