(no subject)
decided to be responsible today and go job searching with julie and rarie. we went to delta sonic, party city and target to apply. if i don't get a job, my parents are taking the spirit off the road, aw. one of those places better hire me
sabres first playoff game tonight, i'm excited. oh and i'm ridiculously in love with my boyfriend derek roy so cheer for him. kthanks
weird mood last night- i went to mighty for din with mike, trev and scott which was fine and then i had to bring the car back home before i could do anything. so i continued reading the 4th summer of the sisterhood of the traveling pants while waiting for plans and i just got into such a reflective mood. i started thinking about things and i don't know if i made myself more confused or more set on what to do with everything. i let myself really think about him for the first time in almost a week even though it made me sad and i realized how much there really had been between us.. it just really made me ache i guess. then i thought about recent events and i don't think it's going in the direction i wanted in the beginning. it is so similar to all the other times and i just feel like some other girl who doesn't matter and i really don't think anyone deserves the feeling of being unoriginal. it sucks. i almost wish i didn't ask him about them last week, i felt so..monotone (?) when he told the truth. like i'm not special. the truth can blow me.
ohh life; i know what i want out of it..i just sometimes don't exactly know how to get there and that's a problem. it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.
"desire was just the dumbest thing. you wanted what you wanted until it was yours. then you didn't want it anymore. you took what you had for granted until it was no longer yours. this, it seemed to her, was one of the crueler paradoxes of human nature." -The fourth summer
sabres first playoff game tonight, i'm excited. oh and i'm ridiculously in love with my boyfriend derek roy so cheer for him. kthanks
weird mood last night- i went to mighty for din with mike, trev and scott which was fine and then i had to bring the car back home before i could do anything. so i continued reading the 4th summer of the sisterhood of the traveling pants while waiting for plans and i just got into such a reflective mood. i started thinking about things and i don't know if i made myself more confused or more set on what to do with everything. i let myself really think about him for the first time in almost a week even though it made me sad and i realized how much there really had been between us.. it just really made me ache i guess. then i thought about recent events and i don't think it's going in the direction i wanted in the beginning. it is so similar to all the other times and i just feel like some other girl who doesn't matter and i really don't think anyone deserves the feeling of being unoriginal. it sucks. i almost wish i didn't ask him about them last week, i felt so..monotone (?) when he told the truth. like i'm not special. the truth can blow me.
ohh life; i know what i want out of it..i just sometimes don't exactly know how to get there and that's a problem. it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.
"desire was just the dumbest thing. you wanted what you wanted until it was yours. then you didn't want it anymore. you took what you had for granted until it was no longer yours. this, it seemed to her, was one of the crueler paradoxes of human nature." -The fourth summer