(no subject)
I was whining to my friend Emily last night about how I haven't dated anyone (or even had a nice drunken make-out session) since last March, and this was her comment:
"I feel like I go through periods where everybody wants to date me and then nobody wants to date me."
My reply: "UGH. Maybe that's my problem. I'm putting out vibes that say 'You do NOT want to date me'. But you can't talk, Emily, you little man-eating whore."
She just started dating my best guy friend Dave. I'm totally cool with it, but she can NOT talk to me about not dating. He's an awesome guy, and if my relationship with Dave wasn't completely platonic I'd probably be incredibly jealous.
But seriously... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? My last (and first and only) serious relationship (with a guy named Chris, remember that name, it will come up again) ended more than two years ago. Okay okay, so it took me way too long to get over him, but now I am WAY over him. Where are all the men?
There is one guy who is pretty obviously interested in me. His name in Anson, and I see him everywhere. I like the kid, he's fun, but he's one of those who can't take a hint, and insists on asking me out every single time he sees me. SOOO ANNOYING. And not only that... he's also a HUGE cock block. He seems to pop up at every party I choose to go to, and every time I start talking to a guy I think is cute *POP* there he is! He and I have a mutual friend who I've been interested in for a long while, and there was a small chance he would have been interested back, but every time I saw him Anson would mysteriously be there as well.
And of course amidst all these ponderings, my mind goes back to Eric. Oh Eric. The one who could have been, who should have been, who almost was, but wasn't. For some reason our timing was completely off. I had a crush on Eric all through high school - a HUUUUUGE crush. We went on one date, once, to the opera, and it was fantastic, but since he had a girlfriend at the time it was considered one of those "friend-to-friend" dates and nothing came of it. [Interesting side-note: Chris, my only ex-boyfriend, is one of Eric's closest friends. Ah, the joys of small town life...]
FINALLY we hooked up a few times in the month before I moved away to college, but from the way he acted I assumed it didn't mean anything, and I pretended like it didn't mean anything to me either. But good lord, did it ever. Honestly, they were the most romantic nights of my life.
The following January my best friend found out that Eric had been hooking up with numerous other girls in my town at the same time as I was hooking up with him. I was so angry; I hate it when people lie to me. I didn't talk to him again until September of this year, when he happened to say hi to me on AIM. I wish I had talked to him about it a lot sooner, because this is what I found out:
Due Barbarian (3:23:08 AM): When I was hooking up with you, you were the only one in August.
Due Barbarian (3:23:59 AM): mainly because I think we had the best conversations of them all.
Due Barbarian (3:24:03 AM): and you were the best kisser.
Due Barbarian (3:24:33 AM): And honestly, that's really all I need.
Due Barbarian (3:24:45 AM): A good conversation and a good kiss to be a great week
binna (3:25:07 AM): you acted like it was all so special though
binna (3:25:17 AM): it really hurt when i found out i wasn't the only one
Due Barbarian (3:25:42 AM): I'm sorry.
binna (3:26:04 AM): why did you act like it was special if it wasn't?
Due Barbarian (3:26:36 AM): can I just say what I felt with you was the closest I had felt to love since i broke up with my ex-girlfriend.
Due Barbarian (3:27:17 AM): when I said that I wanted you to spend the night and that I felt really comfortable in your arms, I meant it.
Due Barbarian (3:27:24 AM): I don't like lies.
Due Barbarian (3:27:55 AM): I am sorry if I hurt you.
I felt like such a jackass. We were sooooo close. We've had the occasional conversation since then, and every time he ends it with a "Due Barbarian (6:41:44 PM): You're the best Bri".
And of course, Eric goes to college 1500 miles away from me, and only comes home for Christmas. *sigh*
Are my standards too high? I have but a few. 1. Smart 2. Fun 3. Kind 4. Attractive. How hard is it to fill those qualifications? Goddamn.
"I feel like I go through periods where everybody wants to date me and then nobody wants to date me."
My reply: "UGH. Maybe that's my problem. I'm putting out vibes that say 'You do NOT want to date me'. But you can't talk, Emily, you little man-eating whore."
She just started dating my best guy friend Dave. I'm totally cool with it, but she can NOT talk to me about not dating. He's an awesome guy, and if my relationship with Dave wasn't completely platonic I'd probably be incredibly jealous.
But seriously... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? My last (and first and only) serious relationship (with a guy named Chris, remember that name, it will come up again) ended more than two years ago. Okay okay, so it took me way too long to get over him, but now I am WAY over him. Where are all the men?
There is one guy who is pretty obviously interested in me. His name in Anson, and I see him everywhere. I like the kid, he's fun, but he's one of those who can't take a hint, and insists on asking me out every single time he sees me. SOOO ANNOYING. And not only that... he's also a HUGE cock block. He seems to pop up at every party I choose to go to, and every time I start talking to a guy I think is cute *POP* there he is! He and I have a mutual friend who I've been interested in for a long while, and there was a small chance he would have been interested back, but every time I saw him Anson would mysteriously be there as well.
And of course amidst all these ponderings, my mind goes back to Eric. Oh Eric. The one who could have been, who should have been, who almost was, but wasn't. For some reason our timing was completely off. I had a crush on Eric all through high school - a HUUUUUGE crush. We went on one date, once, to the opera, and it was fantastic, but since he had a girlfriend at the time it was considered one of those "friend-to-friend" dates and nothing came of it. [Interesting side-note: Chris, my only ex-boyfriend, is one of Eric's closest friends. Ah, the joys of small town life...]
FINALLY we hooked up a few times in the month before I moved away to college, but from the way he acted I assumed it didn't mean anything, and I pretended like it didn't mean anything to me either. But good lord, did it ever. Honestly, they were the most romantic nights of my life.
The following January my best friend found out that Eric had been hooking up with numerous other girls in my town at the same time as I was hooking up with him. I was so angry; I hate it when people lie to me. I didn't talk to him again until September of this year, when he happened to say hi to me on AIM. I wish I had talked to him about it a lot sooner, because this is what I found out:
Due Barbarian (3:23:08 AM): When I was hooking up with you, you were the only one in August.
Due Barbarian (3:23:59 AM): mainly because I think we had the best conversations of them all.
Due Barbarian (3:24:03 AM): and you were the best kisser.
Due Barbarian (3:24:33 AM): And honestly, that's really all I need.
Due Barbarian (3:24:45 AM): A good conversation and a good kiss to be a great week
binna (3:25:07 AM): you acted like it was all so special though
binna (3:25:17 AM): it really hurt when i found out i wasn't the only one
Due Barbarian (3:25:42 AM): I'm sorry.
binna (3:26:04 AM): why did you act like it was special if it wasn't?
Due Barbarian (3:26:36 AM): can I just say what I felt with you was the closest I had felt to love since i broke up with my ex-girlfriend.
Due Barbarian (3:27:17 AM): when I said that I wanted you to spend the night and that I felt really comfortable in your arms, I meant it.
Due Barbarian (3:27:24 AM): I don't like lies.
Due Barbarian (3:27:55 AM): I am sorry if I hurt you.
I felt like such a jackass. We were sooooo close. We've had the occasional conversation since then, and every time he ends it with a "Due Barbarian (6:41:44 PM): You're the best Bri".
And of course, Eric goes to college 1500 miles away from me, and only comes home for Christmas. *sigh*
Are my standards too high? I have but a few. 1. Smart 2. Fun 3. Kind 4. Attractive. How hard is it to fill those qualifications? Goddamn.