Aug 24, 2004 13:03
I didn't go back to sleep like I wanted. I just layed in bed all morning(and part of the afternoon)thinking about everything. It's just hit me that I'm actually going to college. Me, crack addict Brandon is going to college. It's amazing ya know, no one really thought I would make it this far. Hell, I didn't think I would either. And for everyone who doubted me, this is like the preverbial finger in their face. Fuck. You.
It's kind of sad though. I haven't lived in Seaside for that long but I was finally growing accustomed to everything here. The few friends I had actually meant something to me, and now we're all going our seperate ways. It's nothing new to me, but the feeling of acceptance was, and now I have to give it up. I know once I get settled into the dorms I'll be ok, and I'm sure I'll make some new friends. It'll just take awhile because I'm a socially challenged asshole.
I also thought about how much I miss having a girlfriend. As much as me and Steenie fought, we did have some good moments. The best times were when we fell asleep against each other, it felt right, felt warm. I miss having a relationship, not that particular one though. That bitch is CRAAAAAAAAZY, though I will always love her and her nagging ways. Ok, so not the nagging so much, but she was good at making me laugh. Anyway, I'm tired of going to bed alone. Done.
I wonder how Mike will be without me. He'll be an only child now. I'm not letting him visit me in the dorms, that's for sure. But he will have to come see me when I preform(I'm a music major ho ho)at Carnegie Hall. Aaaah, dillusions of grandure. I don't think I spelled that right.
Shit, I'm going to have to lug my cello all around campus. Fuckers.
Enough of me being emo. I need to shower.
Yeah, that's right, I'm gettin naked ladies. Please control yourselves and your raging hormones. It's appreciated.
You Know.