That is that and this is this
Last night was going just fine, everything was calm. My dad and Claire were out for the night and Mike was spending the night at a friends. I had the house to myself. I was on the phone with Caitlin(a friend from bako who had a baby recently. She named him Dylan, he's 4 months old) just remembering all the crazy times back then. All the parties, the drugs, alcohol and sex and of course Erin and his insane tactics.
Anyway, we were talking and my mood was lifting and someone rings the door bell. I told Caitlin I'd call her back ad went to answer the door. And who is it you ask? My fuckin mother. The same woman who abandoned me almost every night and sometimes for weeks when I was barely 12, the woman who used to throw things at me, the woman who i used to get in physical fights with, she provided me with blades and drugs like it was normal for her to do. The same fuckin' woman who drove my dad away, the woman who knew my uncle was molesting me when i was 13 fuckin yrs old and didnt stop him. SHE LEFT ME ALONE WITH HIM AT THE HOUSE SOMETIMES!
I'm working myself up. I need to calm down.
Ok, it's been about 10 minutes, I'm breathing better. I was getting so angry that I was starting to cry. I'm such a fuck. Moving on.
So my mom's just standing there smiling at me like everything's ok. I wanted to slam the door on her, but I knew I'd probably feel bad about it, so I let her in. She claims my dad knew she was coming over. But my dad can't stand her, so I know she's lying. She went on and on about her missing me and such, and that she's going to be staying with us for a week.
My dad came home was too scared to freak out infront of Claire. Poor poor Claire, she had no idea why everyone was awkward. Haha, she was even polite to my mom. So now my mom's staying here to visit me and Mike. Fuck that. She's in the guest room across the stairs from my room. Thank god she's far away from me in the house.
I have refused to leave my room for most of the day. I dont want a week filled with violence, screaming, crying and pill induced sleep.
Though right now, shooting something up again doesn't seem all that bad.
You know who.
Anyway, we were talking and my mood was lifting and someone rings the door bell. I told Caitlin I'd call her back ad went to answer the door. And who is it you ask? My fuckin mother. The same woman who abandoned me almost every night and sometimes for weeks when I was barely 12, the woman who used to throw things at me, the woman who i used to get in physical fights with, she provided me with blades and drugs like it was normal for her to do. The same fuckin' woman who drove my dad away, the woman who knew my uncle was molesting me when i was 13 fuckin yrs old and didnt stop him. SHE LEFT ME ALONE WITH HIM AT THE HOUSE SOMETIMES!
I'm working myself up. I need to calm down.
Ok, it's been about 10 minutes, I'm breathing better. I was getting so angry that I was starting to cry. I'm such a fuck. Moving on.
So my mom's just standing there smiling at me like everything's ok. I wanted to slam the door on her, but I knew I'd probably feel bad about it, so I let her in. She claims my dad knew she was coming over. But my dad can't stand her, so I know she's lying. She went on and on about her missing me and such, and that she's going to be staying with us for a week.
My dad came home was too scared to freak out infront of Claire. Poor poor Claire, she had no idea why everyone was awkward. Haha, she was even polite to my mom. So now my mom's staying here to visit me and Mike. Fuck that. She's in the guest room across the stairs from my room. Thank god she's far away from me in the house.
I have refused to leave my room for most of the day. I dont want a week filled with violence, screaming, crying and pill induced sleep.
Though right now, shooting something up again doesn't seem all that bad.
You know who.