I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-girlfriend

[wolfnina]

My eyes watched Connor's back as he disappeared back out into the hallway, leaving me alone with Cordelia. Cordelia. She was like a celebrity or something, I'd heard so much about her. She was the one who gave Angel his perfect moment of happiness apparently. I thought I might be angry with her about it, but I wasn't. Mostly I was just too relieved

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[divinecordelia]

I just looked at her as she told me her story, finally someone I might be able to relate to. There was always someone trying to eat you or make you Queen. Strange attackers in the park, Angel saving girls that needed his help. I could see why he liked her, or maybe likes her. Who knows with him, and right now? Not the time to think about that. It always made me curious to meet monsters, not that she was a monster, but you know what I'm saying. It made me think less of what was going on and more of well, something else. I uncapped another bottle and read what it was before spilling it down my throat. Another good thing, if we were drunk and Angelus showed up? At least we'd be nicely numbed up.

"So, Angel saved you. He does that ... a lot, well did, until..." I widened my eyes and gripped another little bottle, didn't care what it was, just drank it down. I looked up at Nina as she drank down another bottle, I think I was way ahead of her, or maybe she was way fuzzier than I am. Fuzzier? I'm such a light weight I thought as I twisted the lid off another. "So that must be kinda odd, being able to like smell everything. Doesn't that get... overwhelming or something? I mean I'm part demon and all but I don't have those weird smelling feeling things. I just get visions, don't know when they're coming and they usually lay me out with a throbbing headache."

I waved my arm in the air and saw a small amount of liquid spill from the tiny bottle between my fingers. When did that get there? I wondered that as the liquid splashed onto the blanket, sinking in. I looked up at Nina with a 'whoopsie' kinda expression before finishing off the spilled bottles contents.

"So you... you only go all wolfy on full moons, right? It's notta full moon tonight, is it?" I looked at her slightly panicked and realized I was always trapped with some kind of beast. Spike. Alyx. Illyria. Britney. Angelus. Angel. And now? Nina. I must be some kind of freak magnet, I bet it was all Sunnydale's fault, or maybe possibly something I could blame on my Father. Wait, I already have the IRS to blame him on. Yeah, Sunnydale's fault.

[wolfnina]

Angel saved a lot of girls, of course he did. He was a hero and that was what heroes did. Did because currently he was evil and just finished trying to kill me. I was worried about Connor, I mean he was really strong and fast just like his dad but Angel had already gotten the best of him once. I had to assume that it was because of me. Because I was in the way, because he was using me against his son. Taking a deep breath I tried really hard to let go of that, because I didn't want to rememeber my boyfriend (ex) that way. Even if he wasn't going back to normal. I wanted to remember the times we'd lie in bed together during the mornings before he had to go to work and I had to go to class. I wanted to hang onto those times.

"The smelling kind of sucks, but you get used to it after awhile." I smiled at her, deciding not to share with her all the things that clung to her skin. Sweat and blood and tears. It tended to freak people out when you admitted that you could smell everything that they wanted to hide. She looked pretty drunk though, so maybe she was beyond the point of freaking out. Speaking of? I needed to catch up. I drank down another tiny bottle of whiskey before holding it up and looking at the empty bottle. Why did they make them so small anyway? It was a total tease.

"Just on full moons, and the full moon was last week so it's not to worry." I smiled at her reassuringly because she looked scared. Like I would just let myself roam around a hotel when I was about to wolf out. I was smart enough to lock myself up, I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever hurt anyone.

[divinecordelia]

I let out a sigh of relief when she said the full moon was last week. Thank god for small favors, that meant I was safe. Well as safe as safe could be I guess in a hotel. I glanced at the five little bottles now resting between my legs, all empty. I glanced back up at her as she downed another, getting drunk isn't a great idea but it made things feel a lot better. Better as in numb and I felt like laughing. Oh god, was I going to turn into an alcoholic? Certainly not. At least I hoped not, because if you felt like this all the time when drunk? Numb? I would be likely to do it again. I looked at my arms, coated slightly in blood and sweat. God damned Lindsey, I'd stake him myself once I got myself back together.

"Speaking of smells, I should take a shower. I have everybody's blood including mine on me." I made a face and moved off of the bed, wobbling slightly as I stood up. "Whoa, okay. I think I'm a little tipsy." I let out a small laugh and made my way to the bathroom, flipping the shower on and leaning against the doorframe watching Nina throw back a few more little bottles. I liked her, I mean sure we met in very strange circumstances but still. She was nice enough, seemed a little uptight but aren't we all? Or maybe just me. I wondered if she liked shopping, she looked kinda funky hippie arty to me. I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"So, how did you meet Angel?" I asked curiously still leaning against the door, not sure if it was holding me up or I was holding it up. I let out a hiccup and covered my mouth. I was curious as to how she met Angel, and when. Maybe when I was out, sleeping with the fishes in my little coma. The little coma that sounds lovely right about now, it would mean I was not alive to see all of this. Not alive to bring Angelus out, to kill Faith. Nothing. Damn Illyria, I should give that ... thing a piece of my mind.

[wolfnina]

A lopsided smile covered my mouth as she staggered towards the bathroom, announcing that she'd take a shower. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to let the drunk girl shower, she might slip and crack her head open or something. Oh yeah, way to be morbid Nina. Shaking my head I focused lazy eyes on her, nothing like a little bit of whiskey and almost dying for making new friends. My smile grew wider when she poked her head out of the door and asked me how I met Angel. Didn't we already cover that with the whole he saved me from a werewolf thing?

"Well," I started, flashing her another smile and suddenly craving that cigarette again. "He saved me when I first turned into wolfgirl. I woke up in a cage and he was there." I still remembered how scared I'd been that morning. I'd see alot of strange things in L.A. and heard of even more strange things, but nothing topped waking up naked in a cage with a strange man standing on the other side. A strange handsome man that had saved me. Right, focus. And don't focus on the thing you used to sort of maybe almost love a little. I just hoped Angel wasn't tearing apart Connor right now.

Frowning as I thought about Connor I glanced up at Cordelia in the doorway again. "Do you think Connor will be okay? I mean, he saved me and...wow, yeah he's fast and strong but so is Angel. I hope he's okay." I said flashing her another worried look. I could tell she was worried too, the guilt hazing over her unfocused drunken eyes.

Hey, it wasn't her fault. How could she know that she'd be the one to give him that happiness. When you got to know Angel, after awhile you just sort of assumed that any perfect amount of happiness was unattainable for him.

[divinecordelia]

Right, right. She told me this, told me how Angel saved her when she went all wolfy. I guess the alcohol was more potent than I thought, but she played along and explained to me again. I hoped I didn't look so pathetic, I'd had a hard day. She asked about Connor and I frowned slightly, running my fingertips over the wood of the door frame. Connor was strong, and he saved Nina from Angelus. He was okay, he'd never go into something without thinking about it first. And the boy was strong, very strong. I'd seen him do things for me that defied logic, but he did them.

"He'll be okay. Connor's very strong, and he's smart. He'll think about things before he goes crashing in. If someone's in danger? Then he'll crash, but he will think this through. I have to say one thing for him, he's got the thought process of his Father. Angel thinks about things for forever before moving, Connor is the same." I smiled at her and thought in the back of my mind 'unless it's me.' Then Connor goes balls to the wall insane on whatever has hurt me, and well... something hurt me. But it was Lindsey that hurt me, Angelus didn't. Connor wasn't going after Lindsey, he was going after Angelus.

"Don't worry, he's a smart man." I smiled and tried to reassure her, she still didn't look so convinced. "Trust me, Connor wouldn't do anything stupid. He protects people, and if he dies he can't protect them, right? He'll be more than okay. I'm sure he'll be back here soon to tell us that he's gotten Angelus or helped to get him, something. He's Angel and Darla's kid, he can take a licking and keep on ticking." I nodded and turned to glance at the steam pouring out from the shower. I glanced back at her and nodded toward the shower, closing the door halfway. I peeled my clothing off and climbed in the hot water with a happy moan.