(no subject)
"dreams" & "linger" by the cranberries will alwaysalwaysalways have a special, secret place in my heart. nothing could change that.
so.
i change a lot. surprise surprise. its strange for me to reach a point of contentment in my life. i get so happy at times that i begin to expect things to go wrong. my relationship right now is. ideal. _my_ ideal, that is. & his. my work situation is decent. i love the women i spend the majority of my hours awake with. ive recently learned to open up more, actually talk to other human beings. this includes customers! i suppose i'm just understanding myself more as a libra. we're flirtatious, y'know.
got a little drunk at the ani difranco show. with my two most favorite young women ever. danced & sang (softly) without really caring about all those eyes on me.
painted my bookshelf orange. well. jon did. i watched & painted gifts for my co-workers. my five-shelf bookcase is completely filled with books written by women. with the exception of two books written by john stoltenberg. ive decided to read only books written by women. for at least a year. ((yes, i read cunt. yes, it was at the most perfect time in my life.))
i also now own a lunar calendar. which makes a lot more sense.
strange how. everything sounds so monotone when things are wonderful.
the one battle i'm. um. battling right now is with vanity. my hair is now shoulder length & i'm too cute for words. i wear "sexy" underwear & flirt. almost perpetually. i enjoy feeling soft & smelling wonderful. yeah. thats my biggest problem!
sex is wonderful.
the joy luck club was great. next i'm reading a book called "our own lives". from what i gather, its different essays from older women. them telling about their lives & y'know.
i'm becoming more & more serious about tattoos. a sun, a moon, a golden spiral! but where, but where.
i enjoy when life comes full circle. makes you sort of remember who you'll always be.
((sometimes i think of her when i least expect it. i'll smell her perfume, her clothing. i'll try on her ring & the pain comes so quick, so hard. it stings and smacks me. tears well up & helplessness overpowers any other emotion. sometimes its for a matter of seconds. other times it consumes me for an hour. i want her back, i wasnt ready. i love her more than. i just want to hear her voice, i just want to see her face. i just want to be in her arms. one more fucking time. just one. but. that will never happen. maybe thats where the change began. when the most important person in your life exits. nothing is the same.))
so.
i change a lot. surprise surprise. its strange for me to reach a point of contentment in my life. i get so happy at times that i begin to expect things to go wrong. my relationship right now is. ideal. _my_ ideal, that is. & his. my work situation is decent. i love the women i spend the majority of my hours awake with. ive recently learned to open up more, actually talk to other human beings. this includes customers! i suppose i'm just understanding myself more as a libra. we're flirtatious, y'know.
got a little drunk at the ani difranco show. with my two most favorite young women ever. danced & sang (softly) without really caring about all those eyes on me.
painted my bookshelf orange. well. jon did. i watched & painted gifts for my co-workers. my five-shelf bookcase is completely filled with books written by women. with the exception of two books written by john stoltenberg. ive decided to read only books written by women. for at least a year. ((yes, i read cunt. yes, it was at the most perfect time in my life.))
i also now own a lunar calendar. which makes a lot more sense.
strange how. everything sounds so monotone when things are wonderful.
the one battle i'm. um. battling right now is with vanity. my hair is now shoulder length & i'm too cute for words. i wear "sexy" underwear & flirt. almost perpetually. i enjoy feeling soft & smelling wonderful. yeah. thats my biggest problem!
sex is wonderful.
the joy luck club was great. next i'm reading a book called "our own lives". from what i gather, its different essays from older women. them telling about their lives & y'know.
i'm becoming more & more serious about tattoos. a sun, a moon, a golden spiral! but where, but where.
i enjoy when life comes full circle. makes you sort of remember who you'll always be.
((sometimes i think of her when i least expect it. i'll smell her perfume, her clothing. i'll try on her ring & the pain comes so quick, so hard. it stings and smacks me. tears well up & helplessness overpowers any other emotion. sometimes its for a matter of seconds. other times it consumes me for an hour. i want her back, i wasnt ready. i love her more than. i just want to hear her voice, i just want to see her face. i just want to be in her arms. one more fucking time. just one. but. that will never happen. maybe thats where the change began. when the most important person in your life exits. nothing is the same.))