Title: Smarty Smarty 18/?
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Junsu, Changmin/Jaejoong, Yunho/Jaejoong (and subsequent combinations), Yunho/Donghae, Heechul/Yoochun
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they'd all go to college and major in Sexy.
Summary: Jaejoong misses Yunho so much, but he still has his Yoochun, and they both are facing more challenges than merely trying to turn their roommates gay. Will being in college and away from Yunho tear them apart, or only push them closer?
Warnings: Older Yunho (40 yrs old), Younger Jaejoong (18)
A/N: This fic is a sequel to
Naughty Naughty. And because it's a sequel, and the original was dedicated to my loverly Jules (
julili) this one will be as well. I love you, my darling. ♥♥♥♥♥
Poster credit goes to
candybow for finding a cool picture to use and to
markieyumeutau for actually making the poster. Thank you darlings!!! ♥♥♥
Part 18:
Jae was already sitting on the roof when Yoochun showed up. He was on his fourth cigarette, head still pleasantly buzzed from the alcohol.
Yoochun used the garbage can to climb up on the roof. He pulled himself up to the small flat ledge under Jaejoong’s window. There wasn’t exactly enough room for both of them, but with a bit of adjustment, Jae curled up in Yoochun’s body. He passed him the smoke. Yoochun didn’t take it, but held Jae’s wrist and wrapped his lips around the filter and inhaled a drag.
“You smell like rum,” Yoochun said.
Jae smiled. “Yeah, Yunho gave me some a couple hours ago, but don’t worry. It was only a little bit. He said that if either of us got drunk, we’d end up fucking. I’m sober enough.”
Neither said anything for a long time, smoking from the same cigarette.
Jae flipped the cigarette away.
“I think I like this most,” Jae whispered. “We should stay right here forever.”
Yoochun chuckled and tightened his arms around Jae. “No shower, no bathroom, no ramen, no water.”
Jae sighed. “Best friend who manages to ruin everything.”
“You.”
“I …” Jae shut his mouth.
“Sorry. That was mean.”
“But true. God damn it, Yoochun, even when I try to do the right thing, I end up hurting someone. Life was better when I was selfish.”
Yoochun kissed the top of his head. “I like this you a lot more than the selfish you.”
Jaejoong wasn’t ready to talk to Yoochun about what he really had to talk to him about, so he told Yoochun about Donghae, all the details from their first meeting, and then Donghae finding out about his and Yunho’s real relationship, and then dinner.
“He loved my kimchi jjigae.”
“You made Kimchi jjigae?”
“Yes. And yes, I made enough to take to the dorms tomorrow. I’ll save you some.”
“If you manage to keep Changmin away from it.”
“I’ll make a whole batch just for him.”
“So, is that it with Yunho then?”
Jae sighed. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, we talked after Donghae left. Donghae wasn’t really comfortable staying the night. Yunho’s afraid that Donghae is just going to leave him, but I don’t think he will. Donghae is a reasonable guy.”
“And? Yunho, not Donghae.”
“And nothing, Yoochun. We talked. We … he let me know that no matter what happens that I’ll always have a place here, that I can call this my home until I find my own way, my own spot in this world.”
“That’s good. I was worried about where you’d go between semesters and stuff.”
“Things are still … tense between us though. Like if we’re too close for too long, one of us pulls away really fast, because that physical attraction is there, it’s there so fucking strongly, but it’s like we already said good bye to that part, you know.”
“Yeah. I understand. No more threesomes then?”
Jae laughed. “Not with him. Now if we can get MinSu to cooperate.”
Yoochun’s smile fell, and his body tensed.
Jae pushed up enough to look at him. “What?”
“I … I don’t know. What?”
Jae moved again, shifting until they each leaned against one side of the alcove. They each had one leg bent, wrapped round the others’ leg. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but it was cozy. Their other legs dangled off the side of the alcove, and their ankles crossed
“You’re stalling,” Yoochun said.
“Yeah, but I don’t know. God, I’ve been saying that a lot today. This shit is fucking confusing.”
“I still like you,” Yoochun said quickly. “Let’s go from there.”
Jae smiled. He put his hand on his knee and spread his fingers. Yoochun reached over and entwined their fingers.
“I like you,” Jae said, glad it was dark to cover the blush. “God, I feel like a twelve year old school girl.”
Yoochun laughed.
“I … will you tell me?”
“About what?”
“Before, when … when we were fifteen?”
Yoochun never took his eyes from Jaejoong’s. “Well, I lied. I haven’t liked you since we were fifteen. I’ve liked you was since we were twelve, but when you’re twelve, you don’t understand these things. It wasn’t until later that it really hit me.”
“Twelve?”
“Yeah. After YoungSeang. I … I wanted to hurt him so much. Do you remember, at school?”
Jaejoong’s throat closed. He nodded and squeezed Yoochun’s fingers. It was the first time Jaejoong had let himself break down over his parents dying, and the man he was supposed to trust as a father had raped him. Yoochun held him in the bathroom, glared at anyone that came in, and Jae had cried for hours.
“I meant it then and I mean it now. I’ll always protect you, but after that day, it was like you were this different, strong person that didn’t need me to protect you. I kept waiting for you to ditch me. To find another best friend that was cooler, and knew what to do when you needed them. I never knew what to do.”
“You always knew, Yoochun. Always. You were always there when I needed someone to hold me. And you were always there to listen to me and joke around with me. It’s like my life was normal when I was with you.”
“I almost died from pure happiness the first time you kissed me,” Yoochun said, voice so low that Jaejoong tried to shift forward to hear him. “We were fourteen. Do you remember?”
“Honestly, no.”
Yoochun inhaled sharply.
“I’m sorry. I don’t. I just … one day you were there, and then you were there but I was kissing you. I don’t remember. It makes me feel like a jack ass. Tell me. Help me remember, please.”
Yoochun cleared his throat. “After school, we stopped in the alley between the ramen shop and the bakery. I bought you pudding.”
Jae smiled. “That was the first time I kissed you?” he said and giggled.
“Yeah. You were having a bad day, and bitching about this new sister who liked to lord over you.”
“The one with the hot boyfriend whose name I can’t recall but managed to seduce in two days.”
Yoochun laughed. “Yeah, that one. We sat in the little doorway in that alley and ate the pudding and then you kissed me and thanked me for it, and then we sat there until you got bored and demanded that we go somewhere else.”
“I remember that,” Jae said. “I probably don’t remember all of our firsts though. Not like you would with a normal boyfriend. Fuck, or a normal friend. I do remember the first time you let me suck your cock though.”
“Let you? You practically mouth-raped me in the locker room.”
“I know. You loved it.”
“I did. But the hardest part for me was knowing that I was just like all the rest. I … it hurt.” Yoochun stopped talking.
Jae ran his thumb over Yoochun’s knuckles.
“And then under the bridge.” Yoochun’s fingers tightened and he looked away. “I finally thought you were mine. That you liked me like I liked you, and you were only going to be with me, but then you weren’t and you were just someone else’s whore again.”
Jae tugged on his arm, pulled him forward and hugged him. “I don’t know how to say how sorry I am. I don’t.”
Yoochun’s arms slowly wrapped around him. Lips pressed against his cheek.
“I’d like to think that if you told me, that things would be different,” Jae said. “And I think they would be, but not for the better. I probably would have laughed at you. Said something flippant and pushed you away like I always did.”
Yoochun sighed. “You did that, you know. Right before Yunho. I’d say about a month, maybe two. I asked you. I mean, I was scared, and I’d never come right out and ask you, but we were joking around and I said something like, ‘then you should be my boyfriend’ and you looked at me, and for a brief moment, I thought you were actually thinking about it, and then you laughed and laughed and laughed and said that was the funniest thing I’d ever said.”
“Are you crying?” Jae whispered.
“No,” Yoochun said with a hitch in his voice.
Jae pushed him away enough to cup his cheeks and wipe at his tears. “I was a selfish bastard, Yoochun. I remember that day too, and it was the first time you didn’t kiss me before you went home.”
Yoochun nodded. “I just … I couldn’t anymore, you know? Every time I kissed you it was like a tiny piece of me was torn away.”
Even though his mind was telling him not to, Jaejoong pulled Yoochun forward and pressed their lips together briefly. “Do you still feel like that?”
Yoochun shrugged. “No. I got used to it, and then you were with Yunho, and even if it wasn’t with me, I was so glad you weren’t sleeping around, that you found someone to at least try to be normal with no matter how fucked up it was.”
“The threesomes helped.”
“Definitely.”
Jaejoong hugged him tightly. “I never would have gone to college if you weren’t there with me, Chunnie. If I hadn’t gotten accepted, I would have been a porn star.”
“Liar. You’d still be here arguing with Yunho about not going to college.”
“College. What a fucking trip it’s been. And it’s only the third month.”
“God, don’t remind me. Did you do that reading for Ancient composers?”
Jae scoffed. “No. I figure I’ll read through Changmin’s notes on Tuesday morning.”
“And what are … well, Changmin. Junsu. Are we … what are we, Jaejoong?”
Jae bit his lower lip. “Will you kill me if I say I don’t know?”
“No. I don’t know either. Do we keep what we have with MinSu, risking whatever this is, or do we follow this and piss MinSu off and break their hearts?”
Jae sighed. “Well, when you put it that way … foursome?”
Yoochun laughed, falling back against the edge of the alcove. “That is a perfect idea.”
“I know you want Junsu’s ass.”
“Yeah.”
“And you know I’m in love with Changmin’s cock.”
“Well, what kind of bottom whore would you be if you weren’t? But you also really like Changmin. I know you do. You two are almost lovey dovey with each other, and frankly, it’s incredibly disconcerting seeing you act like that.”
“I do really like him, but we’re talking about a guy I’ve known for not even three months, compared to you, who I’ve loved for who knows how long.”
Yoochun smiled. “You don’t remember the first time you told me you loved me, do you?”
Jae smirked. “Yes. I do.”
“Really? Pray tell.”
Jae smacked his knee lightly, and then said, “It was after Jungsoo raped me. Well, okay, technically, it wasn’t rape, but it was damn close. And you let me crawl into your bed and I told you I loved you because you were the only one that I could ever count on, and you said you loved me and that you’d always be there for me.”
Yoochun shook his head. “True. But that wasn’t the first time.”
“What? Yes, it was.”
“We were eight,” Yoochun said. “And I asked you if it was okay for boys to love each other, and you said that you hoped so because you loved me because we were best friends.”
“That doesn’t count,” Jae said.
“Yes, it does.”
Jae laughed. He leaned forward and Yoochun met him half way and they kissed again, softly, hands on each others’ legs.
Yoochun broke away first. “So what’s our decision?”
Jae shrugged. “God, Chunnie, I don’t know. Before, I’d say we hide it, have our fun with them but really be together, but Junsu said awhile ago that if you lie and get caught, it’s worse than if you just told the truth, even if the truth sucks.”
“So we break up with them?”
“God, I don’t want to.”
“Me neither, surprisingly. Junsu’s cute, and when he’s not talking about religious shit, I actually like him.”
“I won’t lie to Changmin.”
“I know. So we don’t lie. We tell them straight up and let them decide?”
Jae laughed. “Ah, put the blame and decision on someone else, huh?”
“Yeah. I figure you’ve been doing it for long enough, should be second nature by now.”
“Shut up.”
“Got another smoke?” Yoochun asked.
“Yeah.” Jae pulled one out and lit it and they passed it back and forth. When it was gone and Yoochun had flicked it away in an arch of orange sparks, Jae said, “In or out?”
Yoochun sighed. “I don’t know. In is what I want, but …”
“Yeah.”
“We’re leaving tomorrow at about noon if you want to hitch a ride back up to school.”
Jae shook his head. “I already have a train ticket. Yunho’s dropping me off at the station early on his way to work.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you up there then.”
Jae nodded. “Okay.”
They hugged again and Jae couldn’t let go, not yet, but Yoochun didn’t seem to mind, arms tight around Jae’s waist.
“I am so sorry for everything I’ve done to you,” Jae whispered. “I had no idea I was hurting you. I love you so much and it makes me so upset that you loved me and I didn’t see it.”
Yoochun kissed his cheek. “Better late than never, I guess.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know. Stop apologizing. Give me a kiss and then go try to sleep.”
“Okay.”
Their goodbye kiss was short, little more than a press of lips. Yoochun smiled at him. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you,” Jae replied.
Yoochun jumped down from the ledge, made his way off the roof and Jaejoong watched him until he disappeared in the dark. He sighed and climbed through the window.
Jae smiled and lay in bed. He held his phone securely, waiting for Yoochun’s message that he arrived home. It came not even five minutes later.
mickyMouse = I’m home now. My mom is pissed =
superHero ~ she’ll survive ~
superHero ~ sleep well ~
mickyMouse = you too ♥ =
superHero ~ ♥ it’s a little battered, beaten, and fickle, and it doesn’t have the best track record, but I hope you want it anyway ~
mickyMouse = forever =
Part 19:
postponing the present Part 17:
more understandingPart 16:
understandingPart 15:
realizations at homePart 14:
the visit homePart 13:
finding pleasurePart 12:
losing innocencePart 11:
moving onPart 10:
kissesPart 9:
emotional dramaPart 8:
more physical dramaPart 7:
physical dramaPart 6:
different ways to copePart 5:
different ways to worshipPart 4:
moving backwardsPart 3:
moving forwardPart 2:
In the Other Dorm RoomPart 1:
In the Dorm Room .