Shifting Fortunes 12/19
Title: Shifting Fortunes 12/19
Rating: NC -17
Pairings: Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Junsu, Changmin/Fic OC, Past!Jaejoong/Heechul, Eunhyuk/Donghae, Kyuhyun/Sungmin, Yesung/Ryeowook, ninja!Leeteuk/Kangin
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd make them act this out.
Summary: Jaejoong was raised in riches. Yunho has struggled most of his life just to keep food in his stomach. Jaejoong leaves his family and ends up working beside Yunho at a farm in the mountains. In a world of uncertainties, what is Jaejoong willing to give up in order to have everything?
A/N: Anything in italics is the present day, and then the fic goes back in time.
Part 12: Yunho's Goodbye
Poster credit goes to sahmin I love you, my Failverto! ♥♥♥
YUNHO
It was difficult to sleep during the summer in the best conditions. Heat permeated the attic with only a slight relief coming from the three fans set around the room. Add to that the body heat from two men sharing a bed, and it was damn near impossible to get a good night’s rest without the aid of sex.
It also didn’t help that the next day was the day before your boyfriend went to Seoul to become a trainee in SM Entertainment.
This was why Yunho was surprised when he opened his eyes and realized he had been sleeping. And even more surprised to find out it was past breakfast.
“Sleep well?” Leeteuk asked from across the room. A smirk turned up the corner of his mouth.
Yunho remembered last night. Leeteuk handed him a cup of tea, and he drank it without asking what was inside.
“Fuckers,” he muttered. “Where’s Jae?”
“Note on your chest.”
Yunho rolled over. On a torn piece a paper were the words, You know where I am
“Jae told me to tell you to not eat anything and to wear as little as possible.”
Yunho laughed. He bypassed boxers and slid into a pair of low slung blue jeans. The wife beater he put on next barely touched the top of his jeans.
“That will work,” Leeteuk said. “Doesn’t seem like you’ll be wearing it long.”
Yunho laughed as he slipped into his shoes. No socks.
“One of these days I would be really interested in knowing where you two sneak off to.”
“Why? Big plans with Kangin?”
“No,” Teukie denied a little too quickly, and a blush covered his cheeks. “You’re just mysterious.”
“Sure.” Yunho left the room and headed downstairs.
As he passed the living room, Yoochun whistled at him.
“Wow, Yunnie,” Sungmin said, “you might as well be naked.”
“One can wish,” Junsu said and batted his eyes at Yunho.
“Just following orders,” Yunho said and continued outside.
It couldn’t have been ten am yet, but the sun held the promise of another scorching day. His elation at what was to come cooled as he remembered that it was the last time in a long time that he was going to be with Jae. Everyone in Korea knew how hard trainees worked, how little they communicated with their loved ones, and how many times they were actually able to go home and visit their families.
He tried to remember life at the farm before Jae. It was a dull existence. Wake up, keep the peace, work, eat, go to bed. And then Jae came along. A spark of excitement in the dull routine. He remembered the first couple of days, and how irritated Jae always seemed to be.
Their first night in bed together. Neither of them could sleep, bodies full of nervous twitches and hot skin. The day he showed Jae the river. When they got back to the house that day, hair disheveled, holding hands. Kibum and Yoosu had grumbled, but paid Kyumin their winnings; they bet that it would only take two weeks where the others said it would be longer.
Both Jae and Yunho had slept rather well that summer night.
Yunho slipped off his shoes and waded through the drooping branches. He stopped, water swirling at his calves and smiled.
Jae was there, laying on a blue blanket. He wore jeans, no shirt, no shoes. His knee was bent, like always, and his toes clenched at the blanket. Next to him were boxes and containers and a bottle of something.
When he was close enough, Yunho kicked the water and splashed him. Jae screeched and sat up.
“What the hell is this?” Yunho asked as he climbed onto the bank.
Jae ignored him. Before Yunho could sit, Jae reached and grabbed the top of his jeans. “Hmm, I was going to feed you first.”
The pants were down and around his ankles in almost the same moment that Jae’s tongue started teasing him. He wasn’t hard, but that soon changed as Jae let him feel more and more of his tongue.
“Oh, god,” he muttered and had to use Jae to steady him. Yunho managed to stay on his feet for a couple of more minutes, then Jae’s ministrations increased and at that first feel of his throat closing around him, his knees buckled and he fell forward and back with a cry.
Jae lowered him to the ground, pulling off the wife beater before he lay down. His mouth went to work on his collar bone, and down his chest. Each ridge of muscle was given its own attention. Yunho was pretty sure that by the time Jae came up to his mouth for that first kiss, he’d touched lips to every inch of skin. The kiss was intense, with bodies rubbing together, and hands clutching at bare skin.
Jae pulled away with a gasp and buried his face into Yunho’s neck. His hot breath danced along Yunho’s collar bone.
“Want you,” Jae muttered. “Right now.”
Yunho went to move, but Jae stopped him. He pushed up, straddled Yunho’s hips and reached for him. Yunho’s eyes shut in bliss when Jae stroked him a few times, then suddenly Jae was guiding him, and then sliding onto him. Yunho cursed loudly.
Jae chucked. Fully seated in Yunho’s lap, he leaned back a bit, shut his eyes and sighed. “I knew I couldn’t wait, so I took the liberty of doing your job.”
The thought of Jae fingering himself was almost too much for Yunho. He grabbed Jae’s hips, molded bodies together and then lifted Jae up. After just a moment, Jae took over the movements, sliding up and down. Yunho kissed and licked and sucked on the skin in front of his face. Jae suddenly leaned away, hand reaching, but Yunho knocked it away. He wrapped his own hand around Jae's cock. With only four strokes, Jae was tightening, clenching, screaming as he covered both of them with come.
Yunho held his limp body more securely. Movements slowed as Jae gasped and recovered.
Jae's eyes finally fluttered open. Yunho grinned maliciously and brought his come-covered hand to his mouth. Jae groaned as the first finger was licked clean, and then he jerked forward, tongue out. They kissed and licked Yunho’s fingers and then each others faces. When Jae was satisfied that they’d gotten it all, Yunho lowered Jae to the ground. Jae wrapped his legs around his waist and then hissed when Yunho pushed deeper inside him.
Yunho didn’t move. He watched Jae, memorized every bit of him. The way his tanned skin looked against the blue blanket. The way his eyelids shuddered. The way his chest rose and fell as he gasped. The way sweat shined across his shoulders. The way Yunho’s body shivered when Jae let out those tiny whimpers that meant he wanted Yunho to move.
“I love you,” Yunho whispered.
And the way those lips spread into that fabulous smile. He’d never forget that smile.
“I’d love you more if you’d fuckin’ move,” Jae gasped.
Yunho laughed. He slid out of him a tiny bit. “Better?”
“More, damn you, more.”
He pushed back in, moving his body closer. Jae easily adjusted to the movement, crying out when Yunho settled in deeper. The whimpering was soon accompanied by thrashing. Yunho shut his eyes as Jae clenched and unclenched around him.
“If you don’t move right this fucking second, I’m going to-” Jae screamed when suddenly Yunho pulled out and slammed back in. And then again. He kept that pace and that strength for as long as he could, even after his body protested and Jae’s screams turned to moans and gasps and whimpers. It was the roughest he’d ever been with Jae, but he couldn’t help it. He needed this, needed to show Jae how much his absence was going to devastate him.
Yunho memorized it all. How Jae’s eyes rolled back, how he gripped his lower lip in his teeth, the feel of his fingers digging into Yunho’s forearms. The way his body suddenly stilled, the sound of splatters on Jae’s stomach when he came again, this time without being touched. And the way his body tightened, convulsed and clenched around Yunho like he’d never let go. Like he’d always be right here, in dreams and memories and stories, on the riverbank with Yunho forever.
“Let go,” Jae suddenly whispered. A soft hand caressed Yunho’s face. He leaned into it, kissing the palm. “Just let go, Yunnie.”
Yunho shuddered, drove himself into Jae a few more times and then came, body shaking, falling, landing with hands on either side of Jae’s face, lips kissing his, arms and legs wrapped around his body. He didn’t want the feeling to end, because if it ended, then this ended, then Jae went away and he would be alone and god, he didn’t want to be alone again.
The tangle of arms and legs and body became a desperate hug, a desperate need to keep him here. A desperate cry to stop time right then and hold onto this moment forever.
Yunho’s breath gasped in the silence. He slowly became away of Jae’s shoulder below his lips and he kissed it, gently, savoring the salty taste of sweat and … tears? Yeah, he was crying, and he didn’t care. Jae’s arms rubbed soft circles on his back.
“I love you,” Jae whispered, and Yunho memorized the sound, how his voice hitched in the middle of it.
“I love you,” Yunho replied.
“Let’s go take a swim, get cleaned up. I’m sure you’re starving.”
“I wasn’t until you mentioned it, but let’s just lay here for a bit longer.”
“Okay.”
Yunho memorized everything, the trees in the breeze. Water running over rocks further downstream. The faint sound of the cows in the pasture. This moment, this time, when he may lay awake and lonely. He’d have this moment.
“Long enough,” Jae said and pushed Yunho off him.
“Way to spoil a moment,” Yunho replied, collapsing on the blanket. “I thought that was my job.”
“Yes, but you were about to start thinking about things that we shouldn’t be thinking about while we should be enjoying ourselves. Come on. Let’s go swim for a bit.”
Jae stood on shaky legs. He took a step and had to readjust as his knee almost collapsed.
“Told you it was too soon,” Yunho said.
Jae splashed into the pool. He ducked his head and stayed under for a few longs seconds.
Yunho couldn’t watch him and looked up at the sky between the leaves. Would this be the last time they came here? The last time they swam together? The last time they made love under this tree?
“Yunnie.”
Yunho looked up. Some of the pain must have shown in his face because Jae frowned.
“Try not to think about it yet,” Jae said. “We have all day.”
Yunho tried to smile. “But just today.”
“Tell me to stay.”
“You know I won’t do that, and you’d be angry with me if I did, and I’d be angry with you if you didn’t go.”
“Come and swim, please.”
Yunho caught the desperation in his voice and sighed. He stood slowly, making sure his legs would hold him. He bent and touched his toes, and then reached high in the air. Mid stretch, cold water splattered his body.
He jerked. “What the hell?”
“You deserved it.”
Yunho grinned, charged in the water, grabbed Jae around the middle and dunked him. They fought for a bit, gaining leverage, losing their footing. Laughing, and to Yunho it suddenly wasn’t Jae’s last day but last summer again, and they were happy and playing and living life like nothing could ever tear them apart.
Yunho stilled.
Jae’s smile fell a bit. And then he sighed. “Would you stop?” he said.
“How am I supposed to?” Yunho replied and pulled him into a hug. “It’s like I’m losing part of myself tomorrow.”
“I’m not dying,” Jae replied, but softly. “I’m sure you can visit me, and when I have time, I’ll visit you.”
Yunho held him more tightly.
“Come on,” Jae said with a tug on his body. “You’re probably starving by now.”
“After last night, I’m not sure I dare eat or drink anything you give me.”
Jae grinned. “Sorry, it was a necessity. I knew you weren’t going to sleep and I needed you well-rested today. And besides, it kept you out of the kitchen this morning and let me make this food for you without you finding out.”
“You cooked this?”
“Most of it. Come on, or it will go to waste.”
Yunho let himself be pulled out of the water. Jae tossed him a towel and he dried off quickly. When he reached for his pants, Jae stopped him. “No clothes.”
“Why not?”
“How can I eat food off your body if you have it covered?”
Yunho laughed.
Jae told him to sit and then came over with some of the food. He practically sat in Yunho’s lap and fed him. This again reminded Yunho of that day when they first came to the river.
When Jae had gotten that letter from his father. Why does it feel like it was only yesterday?
How could all their memories together be shortened and crammed into his head, and he couldn’t even remember them all? How could he have taken thoughts of Jae for granted to the point where he didn’t remember every moment they spent together?
Soft lips brushed against his. “You’re determined to make this a miserable day, aren’t you?”
“Sorry,” Yunho whispered and winced when he voice broke on that one word. “I already miss you.”
Jae moved the plates to the side and rearranged himself to completely sit in Yunho’s lap. “But I’m not gone yet. I’m really trying hard not to think about it and just have fun while we can.”
Yunho buried his face in Jae’s chest. “I’m sorry, love. Just hold me for a minute, yeah?”
Jae arms wrapped around his shoulders, legs around his waist. He smoothed Yunho’s hair and kissed his head, but didn’t say anything. Yunho memorized things again. The smell of his skin, the taste of it, the way Jae’s half dried hair felt against his hand. The way those legs held him, and the way those callused hands traced lines on his back.
How long until the calluses went away? How long until he was not longer Jae, but Kim Jaejoong?
Yunho looked up, met Jae’s eyes for a brief moment before kissing him. Hard. Desperate.
Everything that he couldn’t put into words, he put into the kiss. He pushed Jae back, forcing him to lean on his hands, and then on elbows, and finally on his back. His legs never unwound. Yunho forced the kiss harder, shoved his body into Jae’s, thrust his hips. Closer. How close could he get? It wouldn’t be enough. Nothing would be enough anymore.
Jae finally tore his mouth away and turned his head to the side. Yunho didn’t let that deter him and moved the harsh kisses to his neck, teeth against his collar bone, bodies sliding together. Jae writhed underneath him, reaching towards the discarded basket.
“Lube,” he muttered. Yunho with his better angle pulled the basket closer, and then went back to ravishing Jae’s body. He arched his back, keeping their lower halves pressed together. He lathered and licked one nipple, biting it, chewing, memorizing the way it felt on his tongue. Then he moved to the other.
A hand slick with lube grasped him, and his eyes shut as he memorized that feel, those callused fingers stroking him. He batted Jae’s hand away, positioned himself and stopped.
Remember this, how it looks with his body begging, his hole aching for you, remember this.
Yunho slid into him slowly.
“Make it last forever,” Jae whispered. “Make me feel it forever.”
“Forever,” Yunho replied and kissed him, slower, calmer, like they could kiss forever.
It didn’t last forever, but it definitely lasted longer than any time before it in the last year. Most of it was more eye contact than anything. Yunho would stop, stare at him, kiss his eyes, nose, cheeks, mouth, chin and then start again. Even though it felt like forever, all too soon, the increased rhythm, and soft noises Jae was making were a little too much. Yunho pushed their mouths together, sharing breaths along with tongues and lips, and sped up even further. He put all his weight on one arm and grabbed Jae with the other.
“Oh, god, Yunho,” Jae yelled. His body arched into Yunho’s thrusts, hands scrabbling at shoulders and buttocks and legs. His moans no longer made sense, but were just sounds of passion. With a final cry, he arched his body into Yunho’s and covered them both with come. Yunho shuddered at writhing and convulsing below him, and lost himself in Jae’s body.
As soon as Yunho’s breaths stopped echoing in his own ears, he pushed up enough to look down at Jae. His face was turned away, eyes shut, tears dripping down his cheeks. Yunho carefully pulled away from him, forced his body to sit up and then gathered the crying man into his lap.
After a few minutes, Jae muttered, “Damn Yoochun.”
“What?”
“Just damn Yoochun.”
“Okay, what did he say?”
“He asked me if I was worried that you’d find someone new.”
“Are you?”
“I wasn’t until he mentioned it. Hence the damning.”
“Is this the part where we promise to be together forever?” Yunho asked.
Jae looked up at him. “What if we don’t? I mean, what if we promise and then we don’t, then what happens?”
“What are you saying, Jae?”
Jae looked away and bit his lip.
“Are you saying you want to keep your options open when you go to the city?”
“No,” Jae said quickly. “Damn it, Yunho, I love you. I can’t just turn that off, you know.”
“Again, what are you saying?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m saying that I’m confused and I’m sad and I feel helpless and my life is spinning out of control again, and you’re not going to be there with me and I’m not going to be here with you and damn it I don’t want to be anywhere with anyone else, and why the hell am I doing this when I should just give it all up for you because I love you?”
“And because I love you, I won’t let you give it up. You need to do this.”
“I know. I’m just going to miss you so much.”
“I’ll miss you, too.” Yunho leaned his head on Jae’s. “I’ll always be here for you. Whenever you need me. I know it’s not much considering you can’t call, and I’m too far away for visits, but I’ll still be here.”
“I’ll write you.”
“Me too.”
“Well, let’s go get clean and finish your lunch so I can eat dessert off your skin.”
“What’s for dessert?”
Jae smirked. “More of you. More of me. More of us.”
Part 13: A Series of Letters
Part 11: Jaejoong's Opportunity
Part 10: Yunho's Second Taste of Luxury
Part 9: Jaejoong's Invitation
Part 8: Yunho's First Taste of Luxury
Part 7: Jaejoong's Confession
Part 6: Yunho's Culture Shock
Part 5: Jaejoong's Past
Part 4: Yunho's Sanctuary
Part 3: Jaejoong's New Life
Part 2: Yunho's New Roommate
Part 1: Jaejoong's Predicament
.
Rating: NC -17
Pairings: Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Junsu, Changmin/Fic OC, Past!Jaejoong/Heechul, Eunhyuk/Donghae, Kyuhyun/Sungmin, Yesung/Ryeowook, ninja!Leeteuk/Kangin
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd make them act this out.
Summary: Jaejoong was raised in riches. Yunho has struggled most of his life just to keep food in his stomach. Jaejoong leaves his family and ends up working beside Yunho at a farm in the mountains. In a world of uncertainties, what is Jaejoong willing to give up in order to have everything?
A/N: Anything in italics is the present day, and then the fic goes back in time.
Part 12: Yunho's Goodbye
Poster credit goes to sahmin I love you, my Failverto! ♥♥♥
YUNHO
It was difficult to sleep during the summer in the best conditions. Heat permeated the attic with only a slight relief coming from the three fans set around the room. Add to that the body heat from two men sharing a bed, and it was damn near impossible to get a good night’s rest without the aid of sex.
It also didn’t help that the next day was the day before your boyfriend went to Seoul to become a trainee in SM Entertainment.
This was why Yunho was surprised when he opened his eyes and realized he had been sleeping. And even more surprised to find out it was past breakfast.
“Sleep well?” Leeteuk asked from across the room. A smirk turned up the corner of his mouth.
Yunho remembered last night. Leeteuk handed him a cup of tea, and he drank it without asking what was inside.
“Fuckers,” he muttered. “Where’s Jae?”
“Note on your chest.”
Yunho rolled over. On a torn piece a paper were the words, You know where I am
“Jae told me to tell you to not eat anything and to wear as little as possible.”
Yunho laughed. He bypassed boxers and slid into a pair of low slung blue jeans. The wife beater he put on next barely touched the top of his jeans.
“That will work,” Leeteuk said. “Doesn’t seem like you’ll be wearing it long.”
Yunho laughed as he slipped into his shoes. No socks.
“One of these days I would be really interested in knowing where you two sneak off to.”
“Why? Big plans with Kangin?”
“No,” Teukie denied a little too quickly, and a blush covered his cheeks. “You’re just mysterious.”
“Sure.” Yunho left the room and headed downstairs.
As he passed the living room, Yoochun whistled at him.
“Wow, Yunnie,” Sungmin said, “you might as well be naked.”
“One can wish,” Junsu said and batted his eyes at Yunho.
“Just following orders,” Yunho said and continued outside.
It couldn’t have been ten am yet, but the sun held the promise of another scorching day. His elation at what was to come cooled as he remembered that it was the last time in a long time that he was going to be with Jae. Everyone in Korea knew how hard trainees worked, how little they communicated with their loved ones, and how many times they were actually able to go home and visit their families.
He tried to remember life at the farm before Jae. It was a dull existence. Wake up, keep the peace, work, eat, go to bed. And then Jae came along. A spark of excitement in the dull routine. He remembered the first couple of days, and how irritated Jae always seemed to be.
Their first night in bed together. Neither of them could sleep, bodies full of nervous twitches and hot skin. The day he showed Jae the river. When they got back to the house that day, hair disheveled, holding hands. Kibum and Yoosu had grumbled, but paid Kyumin their winnings; they bet that it would only take two weeks where the others said it would be longer.
Both Jae and Yunho had slept rather well that summer night.
Yunho slipped off his shoes and waded through the drooping branches. He stopped, water swirling at his calves and smiled.
Jae was there, laying on a blue blanket. He wore jeans, no shirt, no shoes. His knee was bent, like always, and his toes clenched at the blanket. Next to him were boxes and containers and a bottle of something.
When he was close enough, Yunho kicked the water and splashed him. Jae screeched and sat up.
“What the hell is this?” Yunho asked as he climbed onto the bank.
Jae ignored him. Before Yunho could sit, Jae reached and grabbed the top of his jeans. “Hmm, I was going to feed you first.”
The pants were down and around his ankles in almost the same moment that Jae’s tongue started teasing him. He wasn’t hard, but that soon changed as Jae let him feel more and more of his tongue.
“Oh, god,” he muttered and had to use Jae to steady him. Yunho managed to stay on his feet for a couple of more minutes, then Jae’s ministrations increased and at that first feel of his throat closing around him, his knees buckled and he fell forward and back with a cry.
Jae lowered him to the ground, pulling off the wife beater before he lay down. His mouth went to work on his collar bone, and down his chest. Each ridge of muscle was given its own attention. Yunho was pretty sure that by the time Jae came up to his mouth for that first kiss, he’d touched lips to every inch of skin. The kiss was intense, with bodies rubbing together, and hands clutching at bare skin.
Jae pulled away with a gasp and buried his face into Yunho’s neck. His hot breath danced along Yunho’s collar bone.
“Want you,” Jae muttered. “Right now.”
Yunho went to move, but Jae stopped him. He pushed up, straddled Yunho’s hips and reached for him. Yunho’s eyes shut in bliss when Jae stroked him a few times, then suddenly Jae was guiding him, and then sliding onto him. Yunho cursed loudly.
Jae chucked. Fully seated in Yunho’s lap, he leaned back a bit, shut his eyes and sighed. “I knew I couldn’t wait, so I took the liberty of doing your job.”
The thought of Jae fingering himself was almost too much for Yunho. He grabbed Jae’s hips, molded bodies together and then lifted Jae up. After just a moment, Jae took over the movements, sliding up and down. Yunho kissed and licked and sucked on the skin in front of his face. Jae suddenly leaned away, hand reaching, but Yunho knocked it away. He wrapped his own hand around Jae's cock. With only four strokes, Jae was tightening, clenching, screaming as he covered both of them with come.
Yunho held his limp body more securely. Movements slowed as Jae gasped and recovered.
Jae's eyes finally fluttered open. Yunho grinned maliciously and brought his come-covered hand to his mouth. Jae groaned as the first finger was licked clean, and then he jerked forward, tongue out. They kissed and licked Yunho’s fingers and then each others faces. When Jae was satisfied that they’d gotten it all, Yunho lowered Jae to the ground. Jae wrapped his legs around his waist and then hissed when Yunho pushed deeper inside him.
Yunho didn’t move. He watched Jae, memorized every bit of him. The way his tanned skin looked against the blue blanket. The way his eyelids shuddered. The way his chest rose and fell as he gasped. The way sweat shined across his shoulders. The way Yunho’s body shivered when Jae let out those tiny whimpers that meant he wanted Yunho to move.
“I love you,” Yunho whispered.
And the way those lips spread into that fabulous smile. He’d never forget that smile.
“I’d love you more if you’d fuckin’ move,” Jae gasped.
Yunho laughed. He slid out of him a tiny bit. “Better?”
“More, damn you, more.”
He pushed back in, moving his body closer. Jae easily adjusted to the movement, crying out when Yunho settled in deeper. The whimpering was soon accompanied by thrashing. Yunho shut his eyes as Jae clenched and unclenched around him.
“If you don’t move right this fucking second, I’m going to-” Jae screamed when suddenly Yunho pulled out and slammed back in. And then again. He kept that pace and that strength for as long as he could, even after his body protested and Jae’s screams turned to moans and gasps and whimpers. It was the roughest he’d ever been with Jae, but he couldn’t help it. He needed this, needed to show Jae how much his absence was going to devastate him.
Yunho memorized it all. How Jae’s eyes rolled back, how he gripped his lower lip in his teeth, the feel of his fingers digging into Yunho’s forearms. The way his body suddenly stilled, the sound of splatters on Jae’s stomach when he came again, this time without being touched. And the way his body tightened, convulsed and clenched around Yunho like he’d never let go. Like he’d always be right here, in dreams and memories and stories, on the riverbank with Yunho forever.
“Let go,” Jae suddenly whispered. A soft hand caressed Yunho’s face. He leaned into it, kissing the palm. “Just let go, Yunnie.”
Yunho shuddered, drove himself into Jae a few more times and then came, body shaking, falling, landing with hands on either side of Jae’s face, lips kissing his, arms and legs wrapped around his body. He didn’t want the feeling to end, because if it ended, then this ended, then Jae went away and he would be alone and god, he didn’t want to be alone again.
The tangle of arms and legs and body became a desperate hug, a desperate need to keep him here. A desperate cry to stop time right then and hold onto this moment forever.
Yunho’s breath gasped in the silence. He slowly became away of Jae’s shoulder below his lips and he kissed it, gently, savoring the salty taste of sweat and … tears? Yeah, he was crying, and he didn’t care. Jae’s arms rubbed soft circles on his back.
“I love you,” Jae whispered, and Yunho memorized the sound, how his voice hitched in the middle of it.
“I love you,” Yunho replied.
“Let’s go take a swim, get cleaned up. I’m sure you’re starving.”
“I wasn’t until you mentioned it, but let’s just lay here for a bit longer.”
“Okay.”
Yunho memorized everything, the trees in the breeze. Water running over rocks further downstream. The faint sound of the cows in the pasture. This moment, this time, when he may lay awake and lonely. He’d have this moment.
“Long enough,” Jae said and pushed Yunho off him.
“Way to spoil a moment,” Yunho replied, collapsing on the blanket. “I thought that was my job.”
“Yes, but you were about to start thinking about things that we shouldn’t be thinking about while we should be enjoying ourselves. Come on. Let’s go swim for a bit.”
Jae stood on shaky legs. He took a step and had to readjust as his knee almost collapsed.
“Told you it was too soon,” Yunho said.
Jae splashed into the pool. He ducked his head and stayed under for a few longs seconds.
Yunho couldn’t watch him and looked up at the sky between the leaves. Would this be the last time they came here? The last time they swam together? The last time they made love under this tree?
“Yunnie.”
Yunho looked up. Some of the pain must have shown in his face because Jae frowned.
“Try not to think about it yet,” Jae said. “We have all day.”
Yunho tried to smile. “But just today.”
“Tell me to stay.”
“You know I won’t do that, and you’d be angry with me if I did, and I’d be angry with you if you didn’t go.”
“Come and swim, please.”
Yunho caught the desperation in his voice and sighed. He stood slowly, making sure his legs would hold him. He bent and touched his toes, and then reached high in the air. Mid stretch, cold water splattered his body.
He jerked. “What the hell?”
“You deserved it.”
Yunho grinned, charged in the water, grabbed Jae around the middle and dunked him. They fought for a bit, gaining leverage, losing their footing. Laughing, and to Yunho it suddenly wasn’t Jae’s last day but last summer again, and they were happy and playing and living life like nothing could ever tear them apart.
Yunho stilled.
Jae’s smile fell a bit. And then he sighed. “Would you stop?” he said.
“How am I supposed to?” Yunho replied and pulled him into a hug. “It’s like I’m losing part of myself tomorrow.”
“I’m not dying,” Jae replied, but softly. “I’m sure you can visit me, and when I have time, I’ll visit you.”
Yunho held him more tightly.
“Come on,” Jae said with a tug on his body. “You’re probably starving by now.”
“After last night, I’m not sure I dare eat or drink anything you give me.”
Jae grinned. “Sorry, it was a necessity. I knew you weren’t going to sleep and I needed you well-rested today. And besides, it kept you out of the kitchen this morning and let me make this food for you without you finding out.”
“You cooked this?”
“Most of it. Come on, or it will go to waste.”
Yunho let himself be pulled out of the water. Jae tossed him a towel and he dried off quickly. When he reached for his pants, Jae stopped him. “No clothes.”
“Why not?”
“How can I eat food off your body if you have it covered?”
Yunho laughed.
Jae told him to sit and then came over with some of the food. He practically sat in Yunho’s lap and fed him. This again reminded Yunho of that day when they first came to the river.
When Jae had gotten that letter from his father. Why does it feel like it was only yesterday?
How could all their memories together be shortened and crammed into his head, and he couldn’t even remember them all? How could he have taken thoughts of Jae for granted to the point where he didn’t remember every moment they spent together?
Soft lips brushed against his. “You’re determined to make this a miserable day, aren’t you?”
“Sorry,” Yunho whispered and winced when he voice broke on that one word. “I already miss you.”
Jae moved the plates to the side and rearranged himself to completely sit in Yunho’s lap. “But I’m not gone yet. I’m really trying hard not to think about it and just have fun while we can.”
Yunho buried his face in Jae’s chest. “I’m sorry, love. Just hold me for a minute, yeah?”
Jae arms wrapped around his shoulders, legs around his waist. He smoothed Yunho’s hair and kissed his head, but didn’t say anything. Yunho memorized things again. The smell of his skin, the taste of it, the way Jae’s half dried hair felt against his hand. The way those legs held him, and the way those callused hands traced lines on his back.
How long until the calluses went away? How long until he was not longer Jae, but Kim Jaejoong?
Yunho looked up, met Jae’s eyes for a brief moment before kissing him. Hard. Desperate.
Everything that he couldn’t put into words, he put into the kiss. He pushed Jae back, forcing him to lean on his hands, and then on elbows, and finally on his back. His legs never unwound. Yunho forced the kiss harder, shoved his body into Jae’s, thrust his hips. Closer. How close could he get? It wouldn’t be enough. Nothing would be enough anymore.
Jae finally tore his mouth away and turned his head to the side. Yunho didn’t let that deter him and moved the harsh kisses to his neck, teeth against his collar bone, bodies sliding together. Jae writhed underneath him, reaching towards the discarded basket.
“Lube,” he muttered. Yunho with his better angle pulled the basket closer, and then went back to ravishing Jae’s body. He arched his back, keeping their lower halves pressed together. He lathered and licked one nipple, biting it, chewing, memorizing the way it felt on his tongue. Then he moved to the other.
A hand slick with lube grasped him, and his eyes shut as he memorized that feel, those callused fingers stroking him. He batted Jae’s hand away, positioned himself and stopped.
Remember this, how it looks with his body begging, his hole aching for you, remember this.
Yunho slid into him slowly.
“Make it last forever,” Jae whispered. “Make me feel it forever.”
“Forever,” Yunho replied and kissed him, slower, calmer, like they could kiss forever.
It didn’t last forever, but it definitely lasted longer than any time before it in the last year. Most of it was more eye contact than anything. Yunho would stop, stare at him, kiss his eyes, nose, cheeks, mouth, chin and then start again. Even though it felt like forever, all too soon, the increased rhythm, and soft noises Jae was making were a little too much. Yunho pushed their mouths together, sharing breaths along with tongues and lips, and sped up even further. He put all his weight on one arm and grabbed Jae with the other.
“Oh, god, Yunho,” Jae yelled. His body arched into Yunho’s thrusts, hands scrabbling at shoulders and buttocks and legs. His moans no longer made sense, but were just sounds of passion. With a final cry, he arched his body into Yunho’s and covered them both with come. Yunho shuddered at writhing and convulsing below him, and lost himself in Jae’s body.
As soon as Yunho’s breaths stopped echoing in his own ears, he pushed up enough to look down at Jae. His face was turned away, eyes shut, tears dripping down his cheeks. Yunho carefully pulled away from him, forced his body to sit up and then gathered the crying man into his lap.
After a few minutes, Jae muttered, “Damn Yoochun.”
“What?”
“Just damn Yoochun.”
“Okay, what did he say?”
“He asked me if I was worried that you’d find someone new.”
“Are you?”
“I wasn’t until he mentioned it. Hence the damning.”
“Is this the part where we promise to be together forever?” Yunho asked.
Jae looked up at him. “What if we don’t? I mean, what if we promise and then we don’t, then what happens?”
“What are you saying, Jae?”
Jae looked away and bit his lip.
“Are you saying you want to keep your options open when you go to the city?”
“No,” Jae said quickly. “Damn it, Yunho, I love you. I can’t just turn that off, you know.”
“Again, what are you saying?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m saying that I’m confused and I’m sad and I feel helpless and my life is spinning out of control again, and you’re not going to be there with me and I’m not going to be here with you and damn it I don’t want to be anywhere with anyone else, and why the hell am I doing this when I should just give it all up for you because I love you?”
“And because I love you, I won’t let you give it up. You need to do this.”
“I know. I’m just going to miss you so much.”
“I’ll miss you, too.” Yunho leaned his head on Jae’s. “I’ll always be here for you. Whenever you need me. I know it’s not much considering you can’t call, and I’m too far away for visits, but I’ll still be here.”
“I’ll write you.”
“Me too.”
“Well, let’s go get clean and finish your lunch so I can eat dessert off your skin.”
“What’s for dessert?”
Jae smirked. “More of you. More of me. More of us.”
Part 13: A Series of Letters
Part 11: Jaejoong's Opportunity
Part 10: Yunho's Second Taste of Luxury
Part 9: Jaejoong's Invitation
Part 8: Yunho's First Taste of Luxury
Part 7: Jaejoong's Confession
Part 6: Yunho's Culture Shock
Part 5: Jaejoong's Past
Part 4: Yunho's Sanctuary
Part 3: Jaejoong's New Life
Part 2: Yunho's New Roommate
Part 1: Jaejoong's Predicament
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