Running on Love
Title: Running on Love
Pairing: Taemin/Kai (SHINee/EXO)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: If they belonged to me, I would make these two dance for me all day long.
Summary: Taemin's life as a prostitute feels miles away now that he's a messenger, running missives and letters back and forth. It's a lonely life. But there is one bright smile and a chance for something else.
A/N: This is from the A Knight of Fire world. I've been trying to come up with a plot idea for a longer sequel fic, but no go. I still wanted to write TaeKai though.
Taemin crested the final hill. No matter how many times he did this run, no matter how much stronger he was, no matter how much longer he could run without a break, this hill was always a test of his will. He knew that on the other side of it was a break. For a few hours. His thighs burned, his breath grew heavier. Today, with the sun almost right overhead with no cloud cover, Taemin’s lungs felt like he was running through flames.
But the reprieve on the other side made it worth it. The small group of buildings was the only sign of civilization anywhere. Though civilization was being a bit generous.
He managed to breathe easier as he crested the hill. The foot-trail he traversed continued up a lower hill on the other side of the small valley. Beyond it was a small forest and lake, just the top of the trees were in sight from this vantage point.
Nestled in the small valley were four brick buildings: the main message outpost, two bunks for the messengers, and a small stable for horses when needed. This outpost was mainly for foot traffic. Only really important messages arrived with a rider on a horse.
Halfway down the hill, Taemin realized something was missing. No, someone.
Kai always stood out on the foot-trail to meet him, usually with a snide comment about being slow and/or late. Taemin always had a smart remark back about having to be early to make up for Kai’s slow gait.
But Kai wasn’t there.
Taemin frowned. Had a message come through more important than his that Kai had to deliver to the next town over? Had his return been delayed from his own delivery?
Despite the ache in his thighs, he pushed a little bit, letting gravity take him down toward the outpost. When he finally arrived, he was a bit winded. But Junmyeon was there with a tall glass of cool water from their well. All of the messenger outposts had been built on natural springs, found mostly by Junsu, the Knight of Water. Taemin wondered where he was. Or the other three Knights for that matter. After leaving the capital to become one of Yoohwan’s messengers, Taemin did not see them often.
“Thanks,” he said as he handed the empty cup back. He paced the small space in the main building, cooling his muscles down. He tried to make it sound casual when he asked, “Where is Kai? There’s a missive in here that needs to be across the country in a few days.”
Junmyeon smirked, like he knew all of Taemin’s secrets. “No worries. It will get there. Kai is a dumbass and sprained his ankle a few days ago. He’s resting up in his bunk.” He jerked his thumb at the back door. “Luhan will be here momentarily and if he’s late for some reason, I’ll take it myself. Go on and rest. There should be some food in the kitchen on the way out.”
Taemin wasn’t hungry. He usually wasn’t after a run that long. But he definitely wanted a nap before he had to take any messages back the way he came. And yes, he wanted to see Kai. But only to make fun of him for being an idiot and spraining his ankle. That was all.
Junmyeon showed him which bag of messages he had to take back toward the capital and then Taemin left the outpost through the side door. He fought the urge to jog. The dorm wasn’t moving. Kai wasn’t leaving. Not that he was going to see Kai. Not at all.
He opened the door and said, “I heard this is where the fat, lazy swine are kept until they’re sent for slaughter.”
“Ha Ha,” Kai said. “You’re so funny.”
Taemin shut the door and leaned back against it. He kept the smile on his face, trying not to stare, but Kai was topless, propped up on a few pillows. Normally, his dark hair was windswept, out of his face, but with Kai laying almost inert, it brushed against his forehead and cheeks. His darker skin contrasted with the paler bedding around him. His left foot was wrapped in white and rested on another pile of pillows.
“Your clumsiness finally caught up with you?” Taemin asked, finally pushing away from the door.
Without really thinking of it, Taemin went first to the bucket of water and scooped some out to give Kai a drink. He grunted his thanks.
“This is probably the worst thing in the world,” Kai said dramatically.
“No, it’s normal. We’re used to covering for your lazy ass.” Taemin hit his other foot.
“I’m too bored to even hate you.”
Taemin laughed and plopped on the bed next to his, laying back with his head on the pillow.
Kai frowned at him.
“What?” Taemin asked and shut his eyes.
“I’ve been cooped up in this room for three days and you just come in here and lay down to sleep. Entertain me.”
Taemin opened an eye. “Entertain you?”
“Yes, I’m bored.”
“Your fault. Shut up, let me sleep.”
“Hyung,” Kai whined.
Taemin snorted. They were never deferential to each other.
“Get me another drink. And some food.”
“Just because you’re injured doesn’t mean I’m your servant.”
“Please?” he whined.
Taemin made the mistake of looking at him again, at his pout, at his pretty eyes. Pretty dark skin. God.
Taemin huffed and curled up to sitting. “Fine.” He moved back to the water bucket and got him another drink.
“Food?” Kai said hopefully.
“Don’t push your luck. I need to rest. I have a return delivery.”
“Talk to me, just for a few minutes. I’m so bored.” He patted the edge of the bed.
Taemin sighed. And because he was honest with himself, he gave in to what he really wanted and he sat down where Kai suggested, though that made it hard to look at him. He shifted, crossing his legs, and Kai moved over a little bit, which upset the piles of pillows, and Taemin helped secure them. During a moment when Taemin was leaning over him, fingers brushed his thigh. He ignored it, and the flare along his skin, biting his lip hard to keep from whimpering.
Taemin loved not being a prostitute anymore. But he did miss being touched, being kissed, being worshiped.
It was still a bit awkward to sit on the bed. His folded knees were pressed against Kai’s thigh. His very strong thigh.
“So what happened?” Taemin asked.
“It’s stupid.”
“Well, duh.”
“Shut up. I just ... wasn’t paying attention. We had rain a few days back and I hit a patch of mud and went down.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. Luckily I was only a few hours from here and had to limp my way back.”
“You know, it’s just sprained,” Taemin said, flicking the skin above the bandage. “You can still move around.”
“Junmyeon won’t let me. He says I’ll try to do too much and end up hurting myself worse.”
“Well, you are kind of stupid, so I see that.”
Kai cried out and slapped his leg hard in quick succession. Taemin laughed and grabbed his arm to stop the abuse.
“Do you think it’s possible for you to go two minutes without insulting me?”
Taemin chuckled. “Do you think it’s possible for you to go two minutes without doing something stupid?”
Kai pouted. “I’m serious.”
“For once.”
He looked away, biting his lip.
Taemin smiled. “Fine, fine. No insults for two minutes.”
Silence fell between them for a little while. Kai still looked the other way, and Taemin took the time to look at him, the curve of his jaw, the slope of his neck and collarbones. He squeezed a hand into a fist to keep from touching.
“What was it like to be a whore?” Kai asked suddenly.
Taemin choked. “Huh?”
Kai shrugged. “I mean, like ... is it different?”
“Is what different?”
“Sex. When you’re ... not a whore?”
Taemin felt his cheeks flush and he concentrated on the bedspread instead of Kai’s skin. “Yeah, I mean. I guess it is. I haven’t really had a lot of sex since I’ve spent more time running. Usually just with Key or Onew if we’re in the city at the same time. And they don’t really count. Can we not talk about this?”
Kai shrugged. He was looking away when he said, “Did you know my name is Jongin?”
Taemin glanced at his face quickly. “Huh?”
“Jongin. My name is Jongin. I decided I wanted a new name when I left home to be a messenger.”
Taemin smiled. “Any other secrets?”
Kai huffed. “No, just ... I don’t know. We hardly ever really talk. It’s just insults and messages. Sorry. We can stop.”
Taemin shook his head. “I didn’t mean that, I just ... okay, fine. Talk. You’re from Caraloon, right? The town Yoohwan is from?”
“Near there, yeah. It was the closest town to my family’s farm. I’m really lucky I was in town when Yoohwan came with the call for messengers.”
“You didn’t like living there?”
Kai shook his head. “I never thought I’d ever get out of there. I was always in town, whenever my family needed something, but there was never a reason for me to go beyond that, and I wanted ... I wanted to be free. My parents expected me to just work and die and live on our family farm, and I ...”
“You felt like you were more than that?”
“Yeah. You probably don’t get that, but--”
“Sure I do,” Taemin said. “I didn’t mind being a prostitute, but it was always the way to something more. I always wanted to do something else. I was saving money to get away from that life, but I didn’t know what else to do, or if I could do anything else.”
Kai frowned at him. “Was it awful?”
Taemin shook his head. “Definitely not. Onew took care of us. There were a few men who felt they had the right to get violent, but Onew usually kicked them out and banned them.”
“How did you end up there?”
Taemin swallowed. He looked up at the ceiling, wondering if he was ready for this conversation. God, they couldn’t have talked about the weather?
Shaking fingers touched his hand. “You don’t want to talk about it?”
Taemin smiled. “Not really.”
Before Kai could move his hand, Taemin gripped it, entwining their fingers.
“I ran away,” Taemin said. “I felt the same way you did. That there was more to life outside of my father’s carpentry business. I may have stayed, but he thought discipline required fists and belts, and I resented him. My mother died when I was young, so I felt like I had just been left there, to fend for myself. I ran away, to the city, because, there had to be something more. I was too young, not even twelve, and I ended up on the wrong end of some soldiers’ dicks. Onew found me pretty quickly. I wasn’t alone for long.”
Kai squeezed his fingers. “Sorry for ...”
“It’s okay. You’re the only one besides Onew who knows that.”
Kai smiled. “I shouldn’t be happy that I know that, since life was not good for you, but I can’t help it.”
“When people ask, I don’t tell them. But you ... we’re friends, right?”
“Of course.” His smile widened. And then his eyes went wide. “By the gods, Taemin, you’re exhausted. I’m sorry. I’m being selfish.”
Taemin chuckled. “It’s okay. I don’t mind staying awake to talk to you.”
“No, no. You should ... go sleep. Rest. I’ll leave you alone.”
Taemin was not sure if he was reading Kai right, reading his intentions correctly. But Kai told him to go sleep, but kept a firm grip on his hand. Like he didn’t really want Taemin to go away.
Shaking a little and more whispering than anything, Taemin said, “Why should I go? After we took the effort to make space for me right here?”
He shifted just enough to lay down, head on the edge of Kai’s pillow. Their faces were too close.
Kai swallowed and licked his lips.
“Tell me to move,” Taemin said, shifting a little closer. Close enough that the only place to put his other hand was across Kai’s stomach.
Kai squeezed his hand, but said nothing.
Smiling, Taemin curled up, careful to position is feet in a way that did not jostle Kai’s injury. Laying flat, his body reminded him that he’d been running for more than two days. He felt Kai’s body shaking, sort of like his own, but he said nothing, just breathing. Keeping control of himself.
His mouth was so very close to the dark skin of Kai’s shoulder.
Fingers trailed over his arm. Tentative. Exploring the bones of his wrist, up the sensitive skin of his inner arm..
Taemin sighed and gave in to the inevitable. He pressed a firm kiss to the skin and then settled back down, eyes shut. He did not need to see Kai’s face to know that it was okay. He was pretty sure he fell asleep smiling.
---
Taemin woke up to a soft shake on his shoulder and his name whispered almost against his ear. He moaned, curling closer to the warm body next to him.
“You have to wake up,” a voice whispered.
A voice he knew, though it wasn’t usually so soft. So concerned. Was this a dream?
Taemin blinked and turned his head enough to see Kai’s face so close to his. Close enough, and wasn’t that the point? Maybe. Taemin was still half asleep when he leaned up and pressed their lips together.
Kai froze, and Taemin jerked alert and snapped back, almost falling off the edge of the bed.
“Shit, sorry, Kai. I was half asleep.”
Kai swallowed, and when Taemin tried to move, he held on to his shirt with a firm grip. “Is that the only reason you’d ever kiss me? Being half asleep?”
Taemin met his eyes. A sincere, worried, gaze. Waiting for some sort of rejection. He smiled. “No, but I didn’t mean for that ... anyway. First kisses shouldn’t be--”
Kai licked his lips. “What kiss?” he said. “I don’t remember. Have we kissed before? Should we now? I think we should.”
“Huh?” Taemin said.
“Gods, you’re dense.”
“Yah!” Taemin cried and slapped his chest.
Kai chuckled and tugged at his arm again. “Stop abusing me when I’m already injured. Kiss me better.”
Taemin held his breath for a moment. “You’re serious?”
“Pretty serious. I mean ... yeah.” His skin flushed pink and he turned away. “I mean, if you want, just ... don’t you want to? I mean, I do. I think, but you ...”
Taemin huffed. “Shut up and maybe I’ll kiss you.”
Kai grinned, but still did not look at him. He was obviously nervous.
“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Taemin whispered and shifted closer, not that he could get much closer. Their sides touched, and Taemin twisted enough to lean over him, touch his cheek, turn his face toward him.
Kai shook his head. “Not ... no. I never ... had the opportunity.”
Taemin wondered if this was just that. An opportunity. Or if Kai actually liked him. Found him attractive? Taemin figured he did. If he didn’t, this entire situation would be more like a whore and a client, and less like two friends fumbling through honesty.
Taemin smiled and cupped his cheek. He leaned down and pressed their lips together. Kai was still shaking a little, but his hands went around Taemin’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Taemin let himself be pulled, settling almost on top of him as their lips broke for a moment and then joined again. It was obvious that Kai hadn’t ever kissed anyone before, so Taemin took his time. Soft touches of his tongue when he dared. Firm presses of his lips. It took a few minutes for Kai to catch on to the rhythm and follow along.
Taemin wished that Kai had done more than kiss because he really really wanted to start pulling his clothes off.
When Taemin pulled away, Kai frowned.
“What?” Taemin asked carefully.
“You have to go,” Kai whispered. “I don’t want you to go.”
Taemin smiled. “It’s not like I won’t be back.”
“I know, but ...” He bit his lip and Taemin captured his mouth in another kiss. A bit heavy, a bit firmer. Kai moaned, his hands tightening over Taemin’s shoulders.
When Taemin pulled away again, he had most of what he wanted to say clear in his mind. “Look, Kai, I like you. I was actually upset when I came over the hill and didn’t see you waiting for me. You’re always waiting for me. Those moments always have been my favorite to just look at you, have a reason to watch you. I think you’re gorgeous and funny and actually pretty smart and strong.”
“But?” Kai whispered.
Taemin shook his head. “But nothing. I ... I haven’t really kissed anyone outside of being a whore. And I’m almost glad I have to go because if we were to just fuck real quick and I’d be on my way that would cheapen this, and I don’t want to do that. I do want to get to know you. I want to ... I want to be with you. I don't want to just fuck anymore. Am I making sense?”
Kai nodded. “You like me?”
“Yes. A lot.”
“I like you too. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to laugh at you while you ran down the hill.”
Taemin chuckled. “Next time. Heal fast. I’ll be back in five days.”
Kai hugged him tightly. “Run fast.”
“Faster than you.”
Kai huffed. “Shut up.”
Taemin pulled away enough to kiss him again.
“You better go before Junmyeon comes back here looking for you.”
“Shit, Junmyeon saw us in bed together?”
“Yes. He’s promised loads of teasing.”
“He better make it so next time we’ll get to share a bed again instead of making you leave as soon as I get here.”
“I’ll talk to him. He’s a bit of a romantic, so it won’t be hard to get him to adjust my schedule.”
Taemin smiled and kissed him again, and then again. “Don’t want to leave.”
“Too bad,” someone else said from the door.
Junmyeon.
Taemin jumped in surprise and this time fell off the bed.
Kai laughed at him.
Junmyeon smirked, arms crossed. “You have a run. Come on. A messenger brought something that needs to be in the capital sooner rather than later.”
Taemin made a face but said, “Okay, okay. I’m going.”
He used the bed to stand up and then leaned over the bed for one more kiss.
“Run fast,” Kai said again, gripping his hand.
Taemin smiled. “I’ll be back before you know it.” He returned the squeeze and then made himself turn away from Kai and leave the room.
“So,” Junmyeon said on their way to the main building.
Taemin smiled. “Shut up.”
“I’ll wrench details from Kai.”
“We kissed, not much else to tell.” Taemin gathered his bag, noticed the extra food and water in it, and smiled at Junmyeon in thanks.
Junmyeon huffed and handed Taemin the messenger bag with the letters and notices that needed to get to the city. “Be safe.”
“I will. See you in a few days.”
“Run fast,” he said and bumped his shoulder.
“Like the wind,” Taemin replied and headed out the door. He took off at a jog, getting a feel for the way the packs pressed against his body while he ran. At the top of the hill, he turned around and waved. He had no idea if Kai was watching him from where he lay, but just in case.
And then he ran. Or floated. With the feel of Kai’s lips on his, arms around his body, and the promise of something more, it was definitely more like floating.
.
Pairing: Taemin/Kai (SHINee/EXO)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: If they belonged to me, I would make these two dance for me all day long.
Summary: Taemin's life as a prostitute feels miles away now that he's a messenger, running missives and letters back and forth. It's a lonely life. But there is one bright smile and a chance for something else.
A/N: This is from the A Knight of Fire world. I've been trying to come up with a plot idea for a longer sequel fic, but no go. I still wanted to write TaeKai though.
Taemin crested the final hill. No matter how many times he did this run, no matter how much stronger he was, no matter how much longer he could run without a break, this hill was always a test of his will. He knew that on the other side of it was a break. For a few hours. His thighs burned, his breath grew heavier. Today, with the sun almost right overhead with no cloud cover, Taemin’s lungs felt like he was running through flames.
But the reprieve on the other side made it worth it. The small group of buildings was the only sign of civilization anywhere. Though civilization was being a bit generous.
He managed to breathe easier as he crested the hill. The foot-trail he traversed continued up a lower hill on the other side of the small valley. Beyond it was a small forest and lake, just the top of the trees were in sight from this vantage point.
Nestled in the small valley were four brick buildings: the main message outpost, two bunks for the messengers, and a small stable for horses when needed. This outpost was mainly for foot traffic. Only really important messages arrived with a rider on a horse.
Halfway down the hill, Taemin realized something was missing. No, someone.
Kai always stood out on the foot-trail to meet him, usually with a snide comment about being slow and/or late. Taemin always had a smart remark back about having to be early to make up for Kai’s slow gait.
But Kai wasn’t there.
Taemin frowned. Had a message come through more important than his that Kai had to deliver to the next town over? Had his return been delayed from his own delivery?
Despite the ache in his thighs, he pushed a little bit, letting gravity take him down toward the outpost. When he finally arrived, he was a bit winded. But Junmyeon was there with a tall glass of cool water from their well. All of the messenger outposts had been built on natural springs, found mostly by Junsu, the Knight of Water. Taemin wondered where he was. Or the other three Knights for that matter. After leaving the capital to become one of Yoohwan’s messengers, Taemin did not see them often.
“Thanks,” he said as he handed the empty cup back. He paced the small space in the main building, cooling his muscles down. He tried to make it sound casual when he asked, “Where is Kai? There’s a missive in here that needs to be across the country in a few days.”
Junmyeon smirked, like he knew all of Taemin’s secrets. “No worries. It will get there. Kai is a dumbass and sprained his ankle a few days ago. He’s resting up in his bunk.” He jerked his thumb at the back door. “Luhan will be here momentarily and if he’s late for some reason, I’ll take it myself. Go on and rest. There should be some food in the kitchen on the way out.”
Taemin wasn’t hungry. He usually wasn’t after a run that long. But he definitely wanted a nap before he had to take any messages back the way he came. And yes, he wanted to see Kai. But only to make fun of him for being an idiot and spraining his ankle. That was all.
Junmyeon showed him which bag of messages he had to take back toward the capital and then Taemin left the outpost through the side door. He fought the urge to jog. The dorm wasn’t moving. Kai wasn’t leaving. Not that he was going to see Kai. Not at all.
He opened the door and said, “I heard this is where the fat, lazy swine are kept until they’re sent for slaughter.”
“Ha Ha,” Kai said. “You’re so funny.”
Taemin shut the door and leaned back against it. He kept the smile on his face, trying not to stare, but Kai was topless, propped up on a few pillows. Normally, his dark hair was windswept, out of his face, but with Kai laying almost inert, it brushed against his forehead and cheeks. His darker skin contrasted with the paler bedding around him. His left foot was wrapped in white and rested on another pile of pillows.
“Your clumsiness finally caught up with you?” Taemin asked, finally pushing away from the door.
Without really thinking of it, Taemin went first to the bucket of water and scooped some out to give Kai a drink. He grunted his thanks.
“This is probably the worst thing in the world,” Kai said dramatically.
“No, it’s normal. We’re used to covering for your lazy ass.” Taemin hit his other foot.
“I’m too bored to even hate you.”
Taemin laughed and plopped on the bed next to his, laying back with his head on the pillow.
Kai frowned at him.
“What?” Taemin asked and shut his eyes.
“I’ve been cooped up in this room for three days and you just come in here and lay down to sleep. Entertain me.”
Taemin opened an eye. “Entertain you?”
“Yes, I’m bored.”
“Your fault. Shut up, let me sleep.”
“Hyung,” Kai whined.
Taemin snorted. They were never deferential to each other.
“Get me another drink. And some food.”
“Just because you’re injured doesn’t mean I’m your servant.”
“Please?” he whined.
Taemin made the mistake of looking at him again, at his pout, at his pretty eyes. Pretty dark skin. God.
Taemin huffed and curled up to sitting. “Fine.” He moved back to the water bucket and got him another drink.
“Food?” Kai said hopefully.
“Don’t push your luck. I need to rest. I have a return delivery.”
“Talk to me, just for a few minutes. I’m so bored.” He patted the edge of the bed.
Taemin sighed. And because he was honest with himself, he gave in to what he really wanted and he sat down where Kai suggested, though that made it hard to look at him. He shifted, crossing his legs, and Kai moved over a little bit, which upset the piles of pillows, and Taemin helped secure them. During a moment when Taemin was leaning over him, fingers brushed his thigh. He ignored it, and the flare along his skin, biting his lip hard to keep from whimpering.
Taemin loved not being a prostitute anymore. But he did miss being touched, being kissed, being worshiped.
It was still a bit awkward to sit on the bed. His folded knees were pressed against Kai’s thigh. His very strong thigh.
“So what happened?” Taemin asked.
“It’s stupid.”
“Well, duh.”
“Shut up. I just ... wasn’t paying attention. We had rain a few days back and I hit a patch of mud and went down.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. Luckily I was only a few hours from here and had to limp my way back.”
“You know, it’s just sprained,” Taemin said, flicking the skin above the bandage. “You can still move around.”
“Junmyeon won’t let me. He says I’ll try to do too much and end up hurting myself worse.”
“Well, you are kind of stupid, so I see that.”
Kai cried out and slapped his leg hard in quick succession. Taemin laughed and grabbed his arm to stop the abuse.
“Do you think it’s possible for you to go two minutes without insulting me?”
Taemin chuckled. “Do you think it’s possible for you to go two minutes without doing something stupid?”
Kai pouted. “I’m serious.”
“For once.”
He looked away, biting his lip.
Taemin smiled. “Fine, fine. No insults for two minutes.”
Silence fell between them for a little while. Kai still looked the other way, and Taemin took the time to look at him, the curve of his jaw, the slope of his neck and collarbones. He squeezed a hand into a fist to keep from touching.
“What was it like to be a whore?” Kai asked suddenly.
Taemin choked. “Huh?”
Kai shrugged. “I mean, like ... is it different?”
“Is what different?”
“Sex. When you’re ... not a whore?”
Taemin felt his cheeks flush and he concentrated on the bedspread instead of Kai’s skin. “Yeah, I mean. I guess it is. I haven’t really had a lot of sex since I’ve spent more time running. Usually just with Key or Onew if we’re in the city at the same time. And they don’t really count. Can we not talk about this?”
Kai shrugged. He was looking away when he said, “Did you know my name is Jongin?”
Taemin glanced at his face quickly. “Huh?”
“Jongin. My name is Jongin. I decided I wanted a new name when I left home to be a messenger.”
Taemin smiled. “Any other secrets?”
Kai huffed. “No, just ... I don’t know. We hardly ever really talk. It’s just insults and messages. Sorry. We can stop.”
Taemin shook his head. “I didn’t mean that, I just ... okay, fine. Talk. You’re from Caraloon, right? The town Yoohwan is from?”
“Near there, yeah. It was the closest town to my family’s farm. I’m really lucky I was in town when Yoohwan came with the call for messengers.”
“You didn’t like living there?”
Kai shook his head. “I never thought I’d ever get out of there. I was always in town, whenever my family needed something, but there was never a reason for me to go beyond that, and I wanted ... I wanted to be free. My parents expected me to just work and die and live on our family farm, and I ...”
“You felt like you were more than that?”
“Yeah. You probably don’t get that, but--”
“Sure I do,” Taemin said. “I didn’t mind being a prostitute, but it was always the way to something more. I always wanted to do something else. I was saving money to get away from that life, but I didn’t know what else to do, or if I could do anything else.”
Kai frowned at him. “Was it awful?”
Taemin shook his head. “Definitely not. Onew took care of us. There were a few men who felt they had the right to get violent, but Onew usually kicked them out and banned them.”
“How did you end up there?”
Taemin swallowed. He looked up at the ceiling, wondering if he was ready for this conversation. God, they couldn’t have talked about the weather?
Shaking fingers touched his hand. “You don’t want to talk about it?”
Taemin smiled. “Not really.”
Before Kai could move his hand, Taemin gripped it, entwining their fingers.
“I ran away,” Taemin said. “I felt the same way you did. That there was more to life outside of my father’s carpentry business. I may have stayed, but he thought discipline required fists and belts, and I resented him. My mother died when I was young, so I felt like I had just been left there, to fend for myself. I ran away, to the city, because, there had to be something more. I was too young, not even twelve, and I ended up on the wrong end of some soldiers’ dicks. Onew found me pretty quickly. I wasn’t alone for long.”
Kai squeezed his fingers. “Sorry for ...”
“It’s okay. You’re the only one besides Onew who knows that.”
Kai smiled. “I shouldn’t be happy that I know that, since life was not good for you, but I can’t help it.”
“When people ask, I don’t tell them. But you ... we’re friends, right?”
“Of course.” His smile widened. And then his eyes went wide. “By the gods, Taemin, you’re exhausted. I’m sorry. I’m being selfish.”
Taemin chuckled. “It’s okay. I don’t mind staying awake to talk to you.”
“No, no. You should ... go sleep. Rest. I’ll leave you alone.”
Taemin was not sure if he was reading Kai right, reading his intentions correctly. But Kai told him to go sleep, but kept a firm grip on his hand. Like he didn’t really want Taemin to go away.
Shaking a little and more whispering than anything, Taemin said, “Why should I go? After we took the effort to make space for me right here?”
He shifted just enough to lay down, head on the edge of Kai’s pillow. Their faces were too close.
Kai swallowed and licked his lips.
“Tell me to move,” Taemin said, shifting a little closer. Close enough that the only place to put his other hand was across Kai’s stomach.
Kai squeezed his hand, but said nothing.
Smiling, Taemin curled up, careful to position is feet in a way that did not jostle Kai’s injury. Laying flat, his body reminded him that he’d been running for more than two days. He felt Kai’s body shaking, sort of like his own, but he said nothing, just breathing. Keeping control of himself.
His mouth was so very close to the dark skin of Kai’s shoulder.
Fingers trailed over his arm. Tentative. Exploring the bones of his wrist, up the sensitive skin of his inner arm..
Taemin sighed and gave in to the inevitable. He pressed a firm kiss to the skin and then settled back down, eyes shut. He did not need to see Kai’s face to know that it was okay. He was pretty sure he fell asleep smiling.
---
Taemin woke up to a soft shake on his shoulder and his name whispered almost against his ear. He moaned, curling closer to the warm body next to him.
“You have to wake up,” a voice whispered.
A voice he knew, though it wasn’t usually so soft. So concerned. Was this a dream?
Taemin blinked and turned his head enough to see Kai’s face so close to his. Close enough, and wasn’t that the point? Maybe. Taemin was still half asleep when he leaned up and pressed their lips together.
Kai froze, and Taemin jerked alert and snapped back, almost falling off the edge of the bed.
“Shit, sorry, Kai. I was half asleep.”
Kai swallowed, and when Taemin tried to move, he held on to his shirt with a firm grip. “Is that the only reason you’d ever kiss me? Being half asleep?”
Taemin met his eyes. A sincere, worried, gaze. Waiting for some sort of rejection. He smiled. “No, but I didn’t mean for that ... anyway. First kisses shouldn’t be--”
Kai licked his lips. “What kiss?” he said. “I don’t remember. Have we kissed before? Should we now? I think we should.”
“Huh?” Taemin said.
“Gods, you’re dense.”
“Yah!” Taemin cried and slapped his chest.
Kai chuckled and tugged at his arm again. “Stop abusing me when I’m already injured. Kiss me better.”
Taemin held his breath for a moment. “You’re serious?”
“Pretty serious. I mean ... yeah.” His skin flushed pink and he turned away. “I mean, if you want, just ... don’t you want to? I mean, I do. I think, but you ...”
Taemin huffed. “Shut up and maybe I’ll kiss you.”
Kai grinned, but still did not look at him. He was obviously nervous.
“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Taemin whispered and shifted closer, not that he could get much closer. Their sides touched, and Taemin twisted enough to lean over him, touch his cheek, turn his face toward him.
Kai shook his head. “Not ... no. I never ... had the opportunity.”
Taemin wondered if this was just that. An opportunity. Or if Kai actually liked him. Found him attractive? Taemin figured he did. If he didn’t, this entire situation would be more like a whore and a client, and less like two friends fumbling through honesty.
Taemin smiled and cupped his cheek. He leaned down and pressed their lips together. Kai was still shaking a little, but his hands went around Taemin’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Taemin let himself be pulled, settling almost on top of him as their lips broke for a moment and then joined again. It was obvious that Kai hadn’t ever kissed anyone before, so Taemin took his time. Soft touches of his tongue when he dared. Firm presses of his lips. It took a few minutes for Kai to catch on to the rhythm and follow along.
Taemin wished that Kai had done more than kiss because he really really wanted to start pulling his clothes off.
When Taemin pulled away, Kai frowned.
“What?” Taemin asked carefully.
“You have to go,” Kai whispered. “I don’t want you to go.”
Taemin smiled. “It’s not like I won’t be back.”
“I know, but ...” He bit his lip and Taemin captured his mouth in another kiss. A bit heavy, a bit firmer. Kai moaned, his hands tightening over Taemin’s shoulders.
When Taemin pulled away again, he had most of what he wanted to say clear in his mind. “Look, Kai, I like you. I was actually upset when I came over the hill and didn’t see you waiting for me. You’re always waiting for me. Those moments always have been my favorite to just look at you, have a reason to watch you. I think you’re gorgeous and funny and actually pretty smart and strong.”
“But?” Kai whispered.
Taemin shook his head. “But nothing. I ... I haven’t really kissed anyone outside of being a whore. And I’m almost glad I have to go because if we were to just fuck real quick and I’d be on my way that would cheapen this, and I don’t want to do that. I do want to get to know you. I want to ... I want to be with you. I don't want to just fuck anymore. Am I making sense?”
Kai nodded. “You like me?”
“Yes. A lot.”
“I like you too. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to laugh at you while you ran down the hill.”
Taemin chuckled. “Next time. Heal fast. I’ll be back in five days.”
Kai hugged him tightly. “Run fast.”
“Faster than you.”
Kai huffed. “Shut up.”
Taemin pulled away enough to kiss him again.
“You better go before Junmyeon comes back here looking for you.”
“Shit, Junmyeon saw us in bed together?”
“Yes. He’s promised loads of teasing.”
“He better make it so next time we’ll get to share a bed again instead of making you leave as soon as I get here.”
“I’ll talk to him. He’s a bit of a romantic, so it won’t be hard to get him to adjust my schedule.”
Taemin smiled and kissed him again, and then again. “Don’t want to leave.”
“Too bad,” someone else said from the door.
Junmyeon.
Taemin jumped in surprise and this time fell off the bed.
Kai laughed at him.
Junmyeon smirked, arms crossed. “You have a run. Come on. A messenger brought something that needs to be in the capital sooner rather than later.”
Taemin made a face but said, “Okay, okay. I’m going.”
He used the bed to stand up and then leaned over the bed for one more kiss.
“Run fast,” Kai said again, gripping his hand.
Taemin smiled. “I’ll be back before you know it.” He returned the squeeze and then made himself turn away from Kai and leave the room.
“So,” Junmyeon said on their way to the main building.
Taemin smiled. “Shut up.”
“I’ll wrench details from Kai.”
“We kissed, not much else to tell.” Taemin gathered his bag, noticed the extra food and water in it, and smiled at Junmyeon in thanks.
Junmyeon huffed and handed Taemin the messenger bag with the letters and notices that needed to get to the city. “Be safe.”
“I will. See you in a few days.”
“Run fast,” he said and bumped his shoulder.
“Like the wind,” Taemin replied and headed out the door. He took off at a jog, getting a feel for the way the packs pressed against his body while he ran. At the top of the hill, he turned around and waved. He had no idea if Kai was watching him from where he lay, but just in case.
And then he ran. Or floated. With the feel of Kai’s lips on his, arms around his body, and the promise of something more, it was definitely more like floating.
.