It Had to Be You
Title: It Had to Be You
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaejoong
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Ugh, they own my soul, but I do not own them.
Summary: Yoochun meets Jaejoong. This fic is a prequel of sorts to the MinSu fic I'm Ready Now, but you don't have to read that one to read this one.
A/N: A prowl is the name of a group of leopards/panthers.
Warning: IMPLIED bestiality. IT IS ONLY IMPLIED in this fic
Warning: IMPLIED bestiality. IT IS ONLY IMPLIED in this fic
Yoochun smells the new cat as soon as he walks into the coffee house. Its energy curls away from him immediately. A coffee cup shatters. His eyes are drawn to a figure bent over the floor, attempting to clean up the spill with napkins. An employee rushes over with a rag to help him clean up.
Without thinking anything than he wants to be closer to the cat, Yoochun moves too, weaving between tables. He crouches down with a smile. The employee thanks him.
The cat yelps and tries to move away.
Frowning, Yoochun touches its arm (he still isn’t sure if the cat is male or female, though this side glimpse says male). The cat flinches and actually whimpers, curling tightly both physically and metaphysically.
“It’s okay,” Yoochun whispers. “I won’t hurt you. I’m here to help.”
The cat gasps, its breaths uneven. Concerned, Yoochun does not touch him again, smiling at the employee. “Make him another one, add it to my order. I’ll be up to pay in a moment.”
The employee nods. “Of course, Park Yoochun-shi.”
They finish cleaning up the glass and the coffee. Yoochun touches the cat again, mindful of its whimpers. He whispers to it over and over that he means no harm, and he leads the cat to another table, in the corner, where the cat can curl up in the corner away from prying eyes.
When he (yes, it is a he) finally lifts his eyes, Yoochun’s breath stops. His eyes are such a deep brown, almost golden flecks sparkling up at him. He’s beautiful. Soft. Endearing. Pale skin, a bit of eye makeup, such round eyes.
His leopard is interested, so interested, and it takes all of Yoochun’s power and control to not claim the beautiful cat right there in the middle of the coffee shop. He still can’t get a sense of the other’s cat, only fear.
His hair is dyed blonde. He’s wearing stylish jeans, a plain blue t-shirt. There is a jacket at the other table that Yoochun assumes is his.
Putting a bit of power behind the words, which sort of makes Yoochun feel like an ass, he says, “Don’t leave. I will be right back with our coffees.”
The cat nods frantically, fingers tight on the table edge.
He turns and frowns. The cat is new to his territory but does not feel like a new cat. Weak, very weak, in terms of dominance, hence the fear. But not too young. It’s all he can sense now, and he figures he will not be able to sense more until the other calms down some.
He pays for both coffees, still frowning a little.
“Thank you for helping, Yoochun-shi. You did not have to.”
Yoochun smiles. “It’s not problem, Jimin-shi.” He wants to ask about the man, but knows that the cat’s supreme ears will hear every word. He takes the coffees to the table, smiling at the still-shaking cat, before going back to the other table for the brown jacket. It’s soft, leather, and smells so good. Smells like the cat. It’s something that has belonged to him for a long time. He fights the urge to bury his face in it.
Holding it out, he smiles.
The cat’s hand is shaking so hard as he takes it. He does not put it around his shoulders, but over his body, hiding within its familiarity.
Yoochun sits down, doing his best to exude calm and comfort.
“My name is Park Yoochun,” he says. “I am the dominant in this area.”
The cat whimpers, trying to disappear.
“You are not in trouble,” Yoochun assures him and takes a sip of his coffee. The other ordered a latte, and the foam is starting to collapse.
After a moment of the cat not moving other than shaking, Yoochun tries again. “I’d like to know your name.”
He makes sure that he does not order it.
The cat says nothing. But he is curious. About Yoochun.
“Do you live nearby?” Yoochun asks.
He nods. Just a quick motion.
“Did you just move in?”
Another quick nod.
“I’m very glad you’re here. My prowl is really small. If you want to join, you can.”
The cat shifts, the jacket falling down his chest a little.
“Drink your coffee before it gets cold, kitty,” Yoochun says, layering the nickname with as much affection and joy as he can. Again, he does not order it.
His own leopard is raging at him, even if he understands that claiming him as a mate right now would terrify the poor thing.
Yoochun does not mind silence, but he wants to reassure the cat as much as possible. He talks about his prowl, about their main house, and how a few of the others have their own apartments, so if he joins, he doesn’t have to be in the main house. He talks about his work as a financial mediator.
The first spark of interest comes when Yoochun says, “I usually play the piano to keep myself sane.”
The cat stiffens, gaze flicking up to Yoochun’s for a moment, and then back down to his half empty coffee cup.
“You like music?” he says.
The cat nods again, almost smiling.
“Me, too. I love to play the piano. Do you play the piano?”
Another nod.
“Sing?”
One more.
“Do you write music?”
He shrugs a shoulder, and Yoochun feels the mental, ”Sometimes,” in his soul.
Yoochun smiles. His coffee is almost done. Not wanting to leave the other just yet, he says, “Can I take you out to lunch, kitty?”
The cat’s eyes widen again and he turns away a little.
“It’s not an order,” Yoochun says quickly. “I am enjoying your company so much that I do not want to leave yet.”
Pink flushes over his pale cheeks and he ducks his head. It’s a few moments before the cat nods.
Yoochun smiles widely. “Good. I know a great little Thai place that has excellent seafood curry. Sound good?”
His eyes widen and he nods. “I like to cook.” He clamps a hand over his mouth with a squeak, and Yoochun laughs, falling a little bit more in love. He sips at his cooling coffee, smiling against the rim of the cup. The other uses his coffee cup to hide his face and mouth.
This time Yoochun lets silence fall between them. He can feel the other’s cat now, sense the way it’s moves out of a small ball of fear. It’s curious, sniffing at him. Yoochun gets a glimpse of pale fur, darker rosettes. Its eyes are almost a bright a gold.
Yoochun gasps. Female? How ...
The cat curls back up on itself with a mental whine, and Yoochun closes his open mouth. He has heard of such things, the metaphysical cat different than the physical body. But it’s just ... not real.
He realizes too late that his shock has been seen as disgust and the other cat pulls the jacket back over his body, a low whimpers escaping his lips.
Yoochun smiles and says, “It’s okay. Really. It’s okay. I was just surprised is all. Your cat is beautiful.”
The other is not convinced, Yoochun knows. “Are you done with your coffee? Should we go eat?” Again, they are not commands.
The cat looks about ready to burst into tears, body tense for rejections. He flashes a conflicted look at Yoochun before looking at the tabletop again, lower lip closed tightly in his teeth. He drains the rest of his coffee and stands up. Smiling, he holds out his hand. Calm. Acceptance. Happiness. He does his best to roll the feelings over the other.
His chest hitches, but after a moment, he allows himself to take Yoochun’s hand, lets himself be lifted. Yoochun’s head goes light at the contact. The pretty kitty is almost as tall as he is, similar slim build, much better fashion sense. His leopard paces in his head, excited, nervous, anticipation ... He does not hide the feelings from the other cat.
After taking the other’s jacket, Yoochun holds it out for him to slip it on. It’s so nice. Yoochun wants to steal it, wrapped up so much in the other cat’s scent. He doesn’t offer the other his arm, not like he wants to, but leads them both out of the cafe. He waves goodbye to the staff and exits into the warm sun.
The other cat is right behind him. It takes a few moments to convince him to walk next to him instead. Yoochun wonders about his past. Did his last prowl kick him out for his cat form? Did they shun him? Did he even have a previous prowl? Was there a bond there with someone else?
Sometimes that happened with weaker cats.
“I’d really like to know your name,” Yoochun says after a few minutes. “I’m tired of referring to you as the pretty kitty in my head.”
He flushes again, ducking his head. He wraps his arms around his body, biting his lip. “Kim Jaejoong.” It’s lower than a whisper, but Yoochun hears it all the way to his soul.
Smiling, he finally offers his arm, but the other shakes his head in refusal. Yoochun doesn’t order it. Let’s Kim Jaejoong do whatever he wishes, and he isn’t insulted because Kim Jaejoong is his mate. He knows it. The leopard inside him knows it. He wonders if Kim Jaejoong knows it yet.
The Thai place is not too far away, and Yoochun holds the door open for Kim jaejoong. It looks small, with only a few tables in the front area, but there are more private rooms and a banquet hall in the back. Yoochun is not sure which would make Jaejoong more comfortable, so he asks.
“There are private booths in the back,” Yoochun says. “Do you want to sit back there or out here?”
The cat is conflicted, but again Yoochun doesn’t make an order. He waves to a table near them, and Yoochun smiles and sits down. Jaejoong’s cat is again curled into a tight ball.
When the waitress comes by, Yoochun orders a beer. Jaejoong tries to hide his interest and Yoochun laughs. “Order one if you want.”
Jaejoong swallows, but manages to say, “The same. Please.”
Yoochun looks at the menu, careful not to stare at the pretty kitty and make him more uncomfortable. “I usually get their red curry with seafood. You have to be careful with the spice here.”
He notes again a flare of interest.
“You like spicy food?” He glances up to see Jaejoong’s cheeks flushed again. He nods. “Then you’ll love it. I have to get mine mild. I don’t know why, but I cannot handle much spice.”
Jaejoong almost smiles, looking down.
They order the same thing, just with different spice levels. The waitress leaves, and silence falls between them.
Yoochun wants him to talk, but he’s still scared and almost ready to bolt. Though, Yoochun did not order him to stay, he could bolt if he wanted to.
“What kind of music do you like?” he decides to ask, since that had gotten some interest from him before.
He clears his throat. “Rock. I like ... Japanese bands.”
“XJapan, GazettE, Miyavi, Sid, LM.C.”
The interset flares again, accompanied by a wide eyed look.
“I like Japanese rock too. I mostly write R&B and ballads though. Do you speak Japanese?”
Jaejoong nods, face clouding over. “I lived there. For ... yeah.”
Yoochun wants to ask but he doesn’t and goes back to music, asking who his favorite rock band is. He brings up American jazz, some of his favorites from the 40s and 50s. Jaejoong has not heard of them before.
“Whenever you want, you can come over,” Yoochun says carefully. “I have a record player and a lot of old classics on vinyl.”
Jaejoong flushes and ducks his head. Luckily, their food arrives before he can close himself off. He quietly thanks the waitress.
Yoochun chuckles. “I can see how spicy your food it.”
This time his smile is wider.
They eat in silence for a little while, Jaejoong relaxing and settling with his cat. Yoochun can sense the leopardess, uncurling. Still jittery, but no longer hiding. His own leopard has also relaxed. He still is anxious, but now it sitting-anxious instead of pacing-anxious.
“This is good,” Jaejoong whispers.
“How is your mouth not on fire?”
He smiles and shakes his head. “I like it.”
This is where Yoochun would normally make a sexual joke of some kind, but he bites his lip hard against it. He doesn’t start another conversation, using the time to stare at Jaejoong’s beauty. There’s a light birthmark under his chin, and what looks like a scroll of a tattoo near his collarbone. He’s muscled enough that Yoochun figures he works out frequently.
He orders another bear for both of them, and then a sweet rice and mango dessert when they are through eating.
Yoochun doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want to get up, pay the bill, and leave this small contact. Jaejoong’s leopardess is lounging comfortably, head on her paws, staring at Yoochun, trying to figure him out. Jaejoong himself is doing the same thing. Yoochun doesn’t want to do or say anything that will break the relaxed atmosphere that finally settles between them.
“Do you ...” Jaejoong starts, and then bites his lip.
“Do I what?” Yoochun asks with a smile.
Jaejoong takes a deep breath of courage. “Can you ... I ...”
Yoochun can sense Jaejoong’s cat giving him encouragement.
“Furniture. I have ... help me. Can you ... tomorrow?”
Yoochun smiles, understanding the half-formed request. “Of course. I’d be happy to.”
Jaejoong blushes red again, ducks his head, and whispers a thanks.
“My prowl is having a meeting tonight,” Yoochun says carefully. Again, he makes sure it’s not an order. “You can come if you’d like.”
Eyes a little wide, Jaejoong shakes his head.
“It’s okay,” Yoochun says quickly. “You aren’t ready yet. That’s okay. I promise.”
Jaejoong rubs his arms.
“I’ve prolonged our day for about as long as I can before duty calls,” Yoochun says. “I have to meet with my subordinates before the meeting, and I’ve only got an hour before that pre-meeting. Can I walk you back to your apartment?”
Jaejoong bites his lip again and he nods.
Yoochun finally rises and pays for their meal. Jaejoong lets Yoochun help him with his jacket again, and to Yoochun’s joy, when they leave, Jaejoong walks right next to him, shoulder to shoulder, almost touching on the way to Jaejoong’s apartment.
Yoochun really wants to hold his hand. But right now, his cat is no longer hiding, and Yoochun doesn’t want to risk changing that by scaring her.
Jaejoong’s building is relatively new. It was finished built just three years ago. It’s a nicer end place, one that Yoochun actually thought of moving to last year. The modern lines and decor suit Jaejoong perfectly. Yoochun is more of an old antiquey sort of guy.
He wants to go up, and he can tell that Jaejoong wants him to go up, too, but he’s embarrassed and nervous to ask.
They stand by the door of the building and Jaejoong looks up at it
Daring, Yoochun holds out his hand, again not making it a command.
Jaejoong’s shaking, but he reaches over and takes it.
Yoochun smiles and squeezes Jaejoong’s hands with both of his. His skin is so soft. “I’m so happy you’re here,” Yoochun says. “What time should I be here to help you tomorrow?”
Jaejoong looks away as he answers, “The company said ten.”
“Okay, beautiful, I will be here before then.”
He releases Jaejoong’s hand and takes one of his business cards from his wallet. “This card has my office and my cell number on it. Text me if anything changes, okay?”
Jaejoong nods, still looking mostly at the ground.
God, he’s beautiful.
Yoochun’s finger caresses his cheek before he can stop himself.
Jaejoong stiffens.
Yoochun pulls his hand away with a small laugh. “Sorry. I will see you tomorrow.”
Jaejoong nods and turns toward the door.
Yoochun turns too, before he calls him back, before he follows him inside, before he says fuck it and kisses him right there on the street.
“Y-yoochun,” Jaejoong says.
Yoochun turns back and to his surprise, has Jaejoong plastered to his body, arms around his waist, head at his shoulder. He’s shaking.
Yoochun smiles and wraps his arms around Jaejoong’s slim waist, under his jacket. He does not exude “Mate” feelings, but “dominant” feelings, trying his best to soothe him and the leopardess inside him.
“Thank you,” Jaejoong says against his shirt. “Thank you so much.”
And just as quickly, he’s gone and in the building.
Yoochun stands stunned for a little longer, and then gives himself a shake and heads back to his own place.
--- The Next Day ---
Yoochun arrives at Jaejoong’s apartment at 9:45. Jaejoong is down waiting for him, smoking a cigarette. Yoochun is surprised by that, not having smelled any sort of lingering tobacco on him the day before. Flushing, he goes to snuff it out, but Yoochun holds out his hand for it and takes a long drag before handing it back.
“Should quit,” he murmurs. His heart and his soul soar when Jaejoong smiles at him and nods.
“Drinking too,” Jaejoong whispers.
“And probably sweets and too much coffee.” Yoochun holds up the drink carrier with two coffees in it and the bag that has two pastries in it.
Jaejoong hums. “And staying up too late.”
“Forgetting to eat.”
“Masturbating.” Jaejoong meeps and covers his mouth, turning away.
Yoochun laughs. “Are we waiting down here for the furniture?”
Jaejoong shakes his head. “They called. They won’t be here until ten thirty. You ... I waited for you ... you can ... come upstairs.”
“Okay. Lead the way.”
Jaejoong enters the building, and Yoochun follows him through the modern lobby to the elevators. The building isn’t too high, and Jaejoong lives on the fourth floor. Yoochun is stunned by how empty the apartment is. There are only a few boxes sitting on the hardwood floor of the living room. No furniture. No pictures. Nothing.
Yes, he just moved in, but he obviously brought nothing with him. It’s all brand new. It doesn’t smell like anything else. The only thing that smells like Jaejoong are his clothes.
A fresh, clean start.
Yoochun wonders what exactly happened for Jaejoong to start all over in a new city.
Jaejoong leads him through the place. There are two bedrooms, one obviously the master, but only one bathroom. The kitchen is rather large, open to the smaller living room. It’s all very modern. Dark wood floor. Dark wood accents on white walls. The kitchen is white cabinets with dark accents. It fits very well together. And it fits perfectly with what Yoochun knows of Jaejoong and what he feels like.
They eat their pastries and drink their coffee in silence. Jaejoong’s cat is not hiding anything about herself. She’s relaxed and metaphysically purring. It really makes Yoochun happy. Yoochun wants to ask about his past, but he’s learning that Jaejoong will talk and do things when he’s ready.
The furniture arrives: bed, dresser, table, couch, desk, and bookshelf. Yoochun is glad that the movers bring it all up to his place, but it’s Yoochun who helps Jaejoong move it all to where it is supposed to go. It feels less empty. But still doesn't quite feel like Jaejoong. Everything smells too ... fake. Too new.
But it will take time.
Time that Yoochun is willing to give him. He collapses on the couch still covered in plastic and says, “Okay, you’re trying to kill me. Fuck. I need to work out more.”
He hears Jaejoong’s soft laughter. “Thank you so much.”
Yoochun nods. “You’re welcome. Do you need anything else?”
“Not ... not right now. I ... I am going to go shopping later for other things. Sheets and ... dishes ...”
Yoochun wants to offer to help, but he keeps his mouth shut. “Do you have a piano?”
Jaejoong shakes his head, frowning.
“I have an extra one, if you want it.”
He doesn’t answer, and maybe it’s too soon for such a gift between them. Yoochun lets it go and says, “Last night at the meeting, I told the prowl about you. They are not allowed to approach you. They are not allowed to hurt you. I made sure. Okay?”
Jaejoong flushes and nods. “Thank you.”
He wants another hug, Yoochun can tell, but he’s not sure that’s all he’ll do if Jaejoong touches him again.
“Get settled in,” Yoochun says, actually making this one a bit of an order. “When you’re ready, you can call or text me, okay?”
Jaejoong nods again. “I will. Thank you so much for your help.”
It’s with great reluctance that Yoochun sees himself out. His leopard is a bit peeved at him, but he also understands.
--- Two Days Later ---
Yoochun receives a text from a number he does not recognize. All it says is, “Hi.”
He knows it’s from Jaejoong, can feel it all the way to his cat’s soul. He can sense the nervousness, fear of rejection, and self-loathing. It makes Yoochun’s heart hurt.
A moment later, there’s another text. “This is Jaejoong. Are you busy?”
Yoochun smiles and replies: “For you? I’d cancel all my meetings if you need me. But no, I’m not busy.”
He sends back a smiling face. The next text takes awhile to arrive, and the nervousness is so palpable that Yoochun aches to hold him and reassure him.
“Can you come to my apartment please?”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
Yoochun doesn’t receive a reply as he heads over. A few minutes later, he sends, “Are you hungry? Should I stop and get some lunch?”
“No. I’m fine.”
Yoochun arrives probably sooner than normal. He may have speed-walked, almost ran.
The next text he gets is a code to the door and Yoochun is almost floored at the level of trust in that. He enters it eagerly and heads up the stairs. He’s too excited for the elevator. The door is ajar, and Yoochun pushes it open. Calling out a hello, he kicks off his flip flops and shuts the door.
Jaejoong appears from the hallway, and Yoochun physically holds himself still and mentally yanks his cat back by its tail.
Jaejoong is gorgeous in ripped up jeans and a white tank top. He has incredibly broad shoulders and a tiny waist. There are scrolls of a tattoo over his shoulder and bits of it peeking around the straps of the tank top. His hair is messy, dark roots showing a little. His face free of the makeup he wore last time but his skin is so pale, so pure. He doesn’t really need it anyway.
Yoochun swallows roughly, and Jaejoong blushes, curling his strong arms over his chest.
“Hi,” Yoochun manages to say.
“H-hi.”
It’s silent for awhile, and Yoochun takes his eyes off Jaejoong to look around. There are more homey touches: a few landscape pictures on the walls, pillows, and side tables.
“Sit,” Jaejoong says, whispers, requests. “Please ... please sit.”
Yoochun obeys because he will always obey Jaejoong. He sits on the couch and Jaejoong sits stiffly next to him. Right on the edge, hands in fists on his knees. Jaejoong is tense and nervous. But his cat isn’t. He’s drawing strength from his cat.
“Thank you,” Jaejoong whispers. “I ... I can’t. I need ... I’m sorry. I’m ... trying to be more ... trying to fix it. I can’t ...”
Concerned, Yoochun reaches for him and then stops when Jaejoong flinches.
“Will this be easier if I change to my cat form?” Yoochun asks.
Jaejoong looks at him and shakes his head.
“Then shut your eyes. Don’t look at me. I don’t expect you to,” Yoochun says. “You can say whatever you want to me.”
Jaejoong’s eyes shut, and he has such long, pretty lashes. Such a gorgeous profile. “Abandoned. I was ... abandoned. I don’t know ... who my parents are. I was adopted, but ... then ... my cat surfaced. She ...” He flushes bright red and winces.
Yoochun mentally soothes him, shows him that he already knows that Jaejoong’s cat is female and already accepts the leopardess inside him.
“It was so hard,” he continues. “I didn’t know what was going on. My adoptive family ... they ... they thought I was crazy and put me in an institute. I ran ... I ran away. To Japan. I ... I was scared for a long time. But in Japan. I ... there was a prowl that ... they let me stay and work.”
Again he flushes. The word work is imbued with too many meanings, and Yoochun growls at the thought of a dominant taking advantage of someone so sweet and precious as Jaejoong.
Jaejoong flinches and curls away from him with a whine.
It takes a few deep breaths and a few soft words of apology for Jaejoong to continue.
“Later ... I was scouted, by a modeling agency, and I left the prowl, ran away. Hid for a long time, but another prowl found me, and their dominant ... he tried ... he tried to claim me, but I fought and he hurt me ...”
Jaejoong is crying, and Yoochun cannot just sit anymore. He moves closer and wraps his arms around Jaejoong’s body, hugging him tightly. Jaejoong grips his shirt, face buried against his chest and cries.
“He tried ... he wants cubs with my cat, and forced me into her form and ...”
“Sh,” Yoochun says. “Shh, pretty kitty. It’s okay. I’m so glad you got away. I’m so glad you are here.”
“I had to run. I ran ... ran as a cat. As her, because I was not allowed to be human. Under a firm and direct order. I ... I had to run all the way to Osaka before I was far away enough to change back.”
“And you came here?”
“Not ... not at first. I lived in Osaka, but the prowl there knew that ... that ... he was looking for me. So I had to ... the dominant made me ... for his silence. His pet. I was ... I was ...”
Yoochun takes a very deep breath. His leopard is so angry, absolutely livid that their mate, their lovely, gorgeous leopardess was treated in such a way. It’s almost out of his control when his leopard breaks through the metaphysical barrier and curls up against Jaejoong’s cat, licks at her fur and her ears and her neck. He’s a much darker brown, his black spots larger. She is rather small, but fits against him just in the right way.
Jaejoong’s shuddering lessens as they feel their cats together. It’s the most obvious sign that they really are mates, but maybe Jaejoong doesn’t know anything about that. Yoochun says nothing. Not now. Not yet.
“I will protect you,” Yoochun whispers. “You are safe here, and they will never touch you again or I will rip out their throats.”
Jaejoong whimpers.
“If you want to join my prowl, you can. That just means you’ll have even more people to protect you. I understand if you do not want to. I understand if you never want to. We will not bother you. We will not force you. As a cat in my territory, I will protect you. You can live here and be free here and happy. So happy. I want you to be happy.”
Jaejoong tilts his head up, teary eyes full of disbelief.
Yoochun smiles and wipes the tears from his cheeks. It would be so very easy to lean down and press a kiss to his lips, but considering his past, Yoochun does not.
Jaejoong expects it though, and when his lips aren’t taken, his eyes open again.
Yoochun shakes his head. “I am not going to kiss you when you think it’s because you have to. You do not have to.”
Jaejoong ducks his head, burying his face against Yoochun’s chest again.
Yoochun holds him tightly, his own eyes shut. He pulls them both onto the couch more, and Jaejoong relaxes against him. It’s a physical and mental thing, and Yoochun is quiet for a long time, soothing him, running his hands over his arm.
It’s almost unconscious when he starts singing Frank Sinatra’s “It Had to Be You” and then “Fly Me To the Moon.”
And then Yoochun realizes that Jaejoong is asleep against him. His cat is asleep against Yoochun’s. He smiles, settles a bit more comfortably, shuts his eyes and leans his head on the back of the couch.
--- One Week Later ---
Yoochun is nervous. He hopes Jaejoong likes his place. It is very different than his own. It’s so obviously lived in. Hardwood floor. Old crown moldings. More organic and wavy than Jaejoong’s home of straight lines. He fights the urge to tidy as Jaejoong looks around. He hadn’t meant for Jaejoong to come to his apartment already.
But Jaejoong asked after their lunch together. And Yoochun cannot say no to his mate.
Jaejoong is a little apprehensive, but that comes from being a cat in a new place. He walks through the living room, smiling at the photos that Yoochun has on the walls. Most of them are of the prowl. There are a few of his family too.
Yoochun goes to the kitchen and takes out two bottles of soju.
“I can’t cook in here,” Jaejoong says from the doorway. “It’s too small.”
Yoochun laughs. “It is. I guess that means we’ll just eat at your place all the time.” It’s a sentence loaded with a double meaning. He’s been saying a lot of those. He doesn’t know if Jaejoong understands just yet.
He hands Jaejoong his soju and then moves back into the living room with his own. Remembering his promise of music, Yoochun goes to his record player. He finds a Duke Ellington album and puts it on.
Jaejoong hums in approval. Now his meandering has a bit of a bounce to it, in time with the music. Yoochun shows him his music room, and the piano that Jaejoong can have for his own place. The bedroom is cleaner than the living room at least.
Jaejoong’s smile widens at the large claw-footed tub in the bathroom. “You like baths?” he asks, voice teasing.
Yoochun laughs. “Yes. I do. Very much. Settle in hot water with music playing. It’s relaxing”
“Last week ...” Jaejoong blushes and looks away. “Last week, you sang ... you sang a song to me. Can you play it?”
Yoochun smiles. He knows exactly what song he means. He’s been humming or singing the song for a week. “Sure.” He leads the way back to the living room. He finds the Sinatra album and puts it on. Luckily, it’s the first song.
At the first note, Jaejoong bites his lip, and then moves closer. “Dance with me?” he whispers.
Yoochun almost breaks the soju bottle with how fast he puts is on the coffee table.
It makes Jaejoong laugh, nervously, but still a laugh. It’s so easy to wrap his arms around Jaejoong’s waist, hold his other hand and pull him close. Their bodies sway for a moment, getting used to being so close, and then Yoochun tightens his hold and leads Jaejoong around the room in a unhurried pattern. Jaejoong follows him easily.
Lyrics to It Had to Be You by Frank Sinatra:
Why do I do, just as you say,
Why must I just, give you your way
Why do I sigh, why don't I try, to forget
It must have been, that something lovers call fate
Kept me saying, "I have to wait"
I saw them all, just couldn't fall, 'til we met
It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found, the somebody who
Could make me be true, and could make me be blue
And even be glad, just to be sad, thinking of you
Some others I've seen, might never be mean
Might never be cross, or try to be boss, but they wouldn't do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill,
With all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.
The next song starts, and Jaejoong sighs, moving a little closer, laying his head on Yoochun’s shoulder.
“I ... I ... My cat ... she likes your cat a lot. She ... I’m confused about how I feel with you. I don’t understand.”
Yoochun swallows. This conversation. He has wanted to start it for days. “My cat likes your cat a lot too. And do you feel about me the way I feel about you? I can’t stop thinking about you. I always want to touch you. I dream of sleeping in the sun with you.”
Jaejoong stops their dance, holding him closer. “I never ... so many men called me their mate. I thought ... it wasn’t real. Just a way to control ... but this ... is that what this is?”
Yoochun smiles and lets his leopard rub against his leopardess. “That is exactly what this is. I’ve known it from the moment I saw you.”
“So ... what ... how ...”
“When you are ready, when your leopardess is ready, you’ll know. We’ll both know. Right now, for now, it’s this. Dancing in the living room. Going on dates. Eating at your house.”
“Kissing?”
Yoochun chuckles. “If you want to.”
Jaejoong looks up, eyes dark and soft, with a bit of determination. Yoochun moves his hand to his cheek and leans in for a sweet kiss. Just a soft touch of lips. He feels his leopard curl up with his leopardess, a smug contentedness filling his soul.
“When you can feel me so fully as I feel you. When you feel like your soul and my soul. When your cat and my cat are almost the same, then ... well, it’s sort of explosive. It may just happen one day in the middle of dinner. Our cats will let us know.”
“Why don’t you care?” Jaejoong whispers, so quiet.
Yoochun feels the leopardess move away from his own cat and he frowns. “Why don’t I care that your cat is female? Because she is part of you, my love, my mate, my soul. And because she is part of you that makes her part of me. My other half. Too many people have convinced you that something is wrong with you. For me, for us, you are perfect. Don’t change anything.”
“Except the smoking and the drinking.”
Yoochun chuckled. “And the masturbating?”
Jaejoong blushes, and Yoochun laughs harder, pulling Jaejoong back to his lips. His feet find the beat to the music and they continue their dance.
“You are my mate,” Yoochun says. “I love you so much, and I always will. I love everything about you. Never, ever doubt that.”
Jaejoong smiles. It’s beautiful and unguarded. Yoochun vows that from this moment on, Jaejoong will only smile. Only laugh. Only love. Yoochun will make sure of it.
.
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaejoong
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Ugh, they own my soul, but I do not own them.
Summary: Yoochun meets Jaejoong. This fic is a prequel of sorts to the MinSu fic I'm Ready Now, but you don't have to read that one to read this one.
A/N: A prowl is the name of a group of leopards/panthers.
Warning: IMPLIED bestiality. IT IS ONLY IMPLIED in this fic
Warning: IMPLIED bestiality. IT IS ONLY IMPLIED in this fic
Yoochun smells the new cat as soon as he walks into the coffee house. Its energy curls away from him immediately. A coffee cup shatters. His eyes are drawn to a figure bent over the floor, attempting to clean up the spill with napkins. An employee rushes over with a rag to help him clean up.
Without thinking anything than he wants to be closer to the cat, Yoochun moves too, weaving between tables. He crouches down with a smile. The employee thanks him.
The cat yelps and tries to move away.
Frowning, Yoochun touches its arm (he still isn’t sure if the cat is male or female, though this side glimpse says male). The cat flinches and actually whimpers, curling tightly both physically and metaphysically.
“It’s okay,” Yoochun whispers. “I won’t hurt you. I’m here to help.”
The cat gasps, its breaths uneven. Concerned, Yoochun does not touch him again, smiling at the employee. “Make him another one, add it to my order. I’ll be up to pay in a moment.”
The employee nods. “Of course, Park Yoochun-shi.”
They finish cleaning up the glass and the coffee. Yoochun touches the cat again, mindful of its whimpers. He whispers to it over and over that he means no harm, and he leads the cat to another table, in the corner, where the cat can curl up in the corner away from prying eyes.
When he (yes, it is a he) finally lifts his eyes, Yoochun’s breath stops. His eyes are such a deep brown, almost golden flecks sparkling up at him. He’s beautiful. Soft. Endearing. Pale skin, a bit of eye makeup, such round eyes.
His leopard is interested, so interested, and it takes all of Yoochun’s power and control to not claim the beautiful cat right there in the middle of the coffee shop. He still can’t get a sense of the other’s cat, only fear.
His hair is dyed blonde. He’s wearing stylish jeans, a plain blue t-shirt. There is a jacket at the other table that Yoochun assumes is his.
Putting a bit of power behind the words, which sort of makes Yoochun feel like an ass, he says, “Don’t leave. I will be right back with our coffees.”
The cat nods frantically, fingers tight on the table edge.
He turns and frowns. The cat is new to his territory but does not feel like a new cat. Weak, very weak, in terms of dominance, hence the fear. But not too young. It’s all he can sense now, and he figures he will not be able to sense more until the other calms down some.
He pays for both coffees, still frowning a little.
“Thank you for helping, Yoochun-shi. You did not have to.”
Yoochun smiles. “It’s not problem, Jimin-shi.” He wants to ask about the man, but knows that the cat’s supreme ears will hear every word. He takes the coffees to the table, smiling at the still-shaking cat, before going back to the other table for the brown jacket. It’s soft, leather, and smells so good. Smells like the cat. It’s something that has belonged to him for a long time. He fights the urge to bury his face in it.
Holding it out, he smiles.
The cat’s hand is shaking so hard as he takes it. He does not put it around his shoulders, but over his body, hiding within its familiarity.
Yoochun sits down, doing his best to exude calm and comfort.
“My name is Park Yoochun,” he says. “I am the dominant in this area.”
The cat whimpers, trying to disappear.
“You are not in trouble,” Yoochun assures him and takes a sip of his coffee. The other ordered a latte, and the foam is starting to collapse.
After a moment of the cat not moving other than shaking, Yoochun tries again. “I’d like to know your name.”
He makes sure that he does not order it.
The cat says nothing. But he is curious. About Yoochun.
“Do you live nearby?” Yoochun asks.
He nods. Just a quick motion.
“Did you just move in?”
Another quick nod.
“I’m very glad you’re here. My prowl is really small. If you want to join, you can.”
The cat shifts, the jacket falling down his chest a little.
“Drink your coffee before it gets cold, kitty,” Yoochun says, layering the nickname with as much affection and joy as he can. Again, he does not order it.
His own leopard is raging at him, even if he understands that claiming him as a mate right now would terrify the poor thing.
Yoochun does not mind silence, but he wants to reassure the cat as much as possible. He talks about his prowl, about their main house, and how a few of the others have their own apartments, so if he joins, he doesn’t have to be in the main house. He talks about his work as a financial mediator.
The first spark of interest comes when Yoochun says, “I usually play the piano to keep myself sane.”
The cat stiffens, gaze flicking up to Yoochun’s for a moment, and then back down to his half empty coffee cup.
“You like music?” he says.
The cat nods again, almost smiling.
“Me, too. I love to play the piano. Do you play the piano?”
Another nod.
“Sing?”
One more.
“Do you write music?”
He shrugs a shoulder, and Yoochun feels the mental, ”Sometimes,” in his soul.
Yoochun smiles. His coffee is almost done. Not wanting to leave the other just yet, he says, “Can I take you out to lunch, kitty?”
The cat’s eyes widen again and he turns away a little.
“It’s not an order,” Yoochun says quickly. “I am enjoying your company so much that I do not want to leave yet.”
Pink flushes over his pale cheeks and he ducks his head. It’s a few moments before the cat nods.
Yoochun smiles widely. “Good. I know a great little Thai place that has excellent seafood curry. Sound good?”
His eyes widen and he nods. “I like to cook.” He clamps a hand over his mouth with a squeak, and Yoochun laughs, falling a little bit more in love. He sips at his cooling coffee, smiling against the rim of the cup. The other uses his coffee cup to hide his face and mouth.
This time Yoochun lets silence fall between them. He can feel the other’s cat now, sense the way it’s moves out of a small ball of fear. It’s curious, sniffing at him. Yoochun gets a glimpse of pale fur, darker rosettes. Its eyes are almost a bright a gold.
Yoochun gasps. Female? How ...
The cat curls back up on itself with a mental whine, and Yoochun closes his open mouth. He has heard of such things, the metaphysical cat different than the physical body. But it’s just ... not real.
He realizes too late that his shock has been seen as disgust and the other cat pulls the jacket back over his body, a low whimpers escaping his lips.
Yoochun smiles and says, “It’s okay. Really. It’s okay. I was just surprised is all. Your cat is beautiful.”
The other is not convinced, Yoochun knows. “Are you done with your coffee? Should we go eat?” Again, they are not commands.
The cat looks about ready to burst into tears, body tense for rejections. He flashes a conflicted look at Yoochun before looking at the tabletop again, lower lip closed tightly in his teeth. He drains the rest of his coffee and stands up. Smiling, he holds out his hand. Calm. Acceptance. Happiness. He does his best to roll the feelings over the other.
His chest hitches, but after a moment, he allows himself to take Yoochun’s hand, lets himself be lifted. Yoochun’s head goes light at the contact. The pretty kitty is almost as tall as he is, similar slim build, much better fashion sense. His leopard paces in his head, excited, nervous, anticipation ... He does not hide the feelings from the other cat.
After taking the other’s jacket, Yoochun holds it out for him to slip it on. It’s so nice. Yoochun wants to steal it, wrapped up so much in the other cat’s scent. He doesn’t offer the other his arm, not like he wants to, but leads them both out of the cafe. He waves goodbye to the staff and exits into the warm sun.
The other cat is right behind him. It takes a few moments to convince him to walk next to him instead. Yoochun wonders about his past. Did his last prowl kick him out for his cat form? Did they shun him? Did he even have a previous prowl? Was there a bond there with someone else?
Sometimes that happened with weaker cats.
“I’d really like to know your name,” Yoochun says after a few minutes. “I’m tired of referring to you as the pretty kitty in my head.”
He flushes again, ducking his head. He wraps his arms around his body, biting his lip. “Kim Jaejoong.” It’s lower than a whisper, but Yoochun hears it all the way to his soul.
Smiling, he finally offers his arm, but the other shakes his head in refusal. Yoochun doesn’t order it. Let’s Kim Jaejoong do whatever he wishes, and he isn’t insulted because Kim Jaejoong is his mate. He knows it. The leopard inside him knows it. He wonders if Kim Jaejoong knows it yet.
The Thai place is not too far away, and Yoochun holds the door open for Kim jaejoong. It looks small, with only a few tables in the front area, but there are more private rooms and a banquet hall in the back. Yoochun is not sure which would make Jaejoong more comfortable, so he asks.
“There are private booths in the back,” Yoochun says. “Do you want to sit back there or out here?”
The cat is conflicted, but again Yoochun doesn’t make an order. He waves to a table near them, and Yoochun smiles and sits down. Jaejoong’s cat is again curled into a tight ball.
When the waitress comes by, Yoochun orders a beer. Jaejoong tries to hide his interest and Yoochun laughs. “Order one if you want.”
Jaejoong swallows, but manages to say, “The same. Please.”
Yoochun looks at the menu, careful not to stare at the pretty kitty and make him more uncomfortable. “I usually get their red curry with seafood. You have to be careful with the spice here.”
He notes again a flare of interest.
“You like spicy food?” He glances up to see Jaejoong’s cheeks flushed again. He nods. “Then you’ll love it. I have to get mine mild. I don’t know why, but I cannot handle much spice.”
Jaejoong almost smiles, looking down.
They order the same thing, just with different spice levels. The waitress leaves, and silence falls between them.
Yoochun wants him to talk, but he’s still scared and almost ready to bolt. Though, Yoochun did not order him to stay, he could bolt if he wanted to.
“What kind of music do you like?” he decides to ask, since that had gotten some interest from him before.
He clears his throat. “Rock. I like ... Japanese bands.”
“XJapan, GazettE, Miyavi, Sid, LM.C.”
The interset flares again, accompanied by a wide eyed look.
“I like Japanese rock too. I mostly write R&B and ballads though. Do you speak Japanese?”
Jaejoong nods, face clouding over. “I lived there. For ... yeah.”
Yoochun wants to ask but he doesn’t and goes back to music, asking who his favorite rock band is. He brings up American jazz, some of his favorites from the 40s and 50s. Jaejoong has not heard of them before.
“Whenever you want, you can come over,” Yoochun says carefully. “I have a record player and a lot of old classics on vinyl.”
Jaejoong flushes and ducks his head. Luckily, their food arrives before he can close himself off. He quietly thanks the waitress.
Yoochun chuckles. “I can see how spicy your food it.”
This time his smile is wider.
They eat in silence for a little while, Jaejoong relaxing and settling with his cat. Yoochun can sense the leopardess, uncurling. Still jittery, but no longer hiding. His own leopard has also relaxed. He still is anxious, but now it sitting-anxious instead of pacing-anxious.
“This is good,” Jaejoong whispers.
“How is your mouth not on fire?”
He smiles and shakes his head. “I like it.”
This is where Yoochun would normally make a sexual joke of some kind, but he bites his lip hard against it. He doesn’t start another conversation, using the time to stare at Jaejoong’s beauty. There’s a light birthmark under his chin, and what looks like a scroll of a tattoo near his collarbone. He’s muscled enough that Yoochun figures he works out frequently.
He orders another bear for both of them, and then a sweet rice and mango dessert when they are through eating.
Yoochun doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want to get up, pay the bill, and leave this small contact. Jaejoong’s leopardess is lounging comfortably, head on her paws, staring at Yoochun, trying to figure him out. Jaejoong himself is doing the same thing. Yoochun doesn’t want to do or say anything that will break the relaxed atmosphere that finally settles between them.
“Do you ...” Jaejoong starts, and then bites his lip.
“Do I what?” Yoochun asks with a smile.
Jaejoong takes a deep breath of courage. “Can you ... I ...”
Yoochun can sense Jaejoong’s cat giving him encouragement.
“Furniture. I have ... help me. Can you ... tomorrow?”
Yoochun smiles, understanding the half-formed request. “Of course. I’d be happy to.”
Jaejoong blushes red again, ducks his head, and whispers a thanks.
“My prowl is having a meeting tonight,” Yoochun says carefully. Again, he makes sure it’s not an order. “You can come if you’d like.”
Eyes a little wide, Jaejoong shakes his head.
“It’s okay,” Yoochun says quickly. “You aren’t ready yet. That’s okay. I promise.”
Jaejoong rubs his arms.
“I’ve prolonged our day for about as long as I can before duty calls,” Yoochun says. “I have to meet with my subordinates before the meeting, and I’ve only got an hour before that pre-meeting. Can I walk you back to your apartment?”
Jaejoong bites his lip again and he nods.
Yoochun finally rises and pays for their meal. Jaejoong lets Yoochun help him with his jacket again, and to Yoochun’s joy, when they leave, Jaejoong walks right next to him, shoulder to shoulder, almost touching on the way to Jaejoong’s apartment.
Yoochun really wants to hold his hand. But right now, his cat is no longer hiding, and Yoochun doesn’t want to risk changing that by scaring her.
Jaejoong’s building is relatively new. It was finished built just three years ago. It’s a nicer end place, one that Yoochun actually thought of moving to last year. The modern lines and decor suit Jaejoong perfectly. Yoochun is more of an old antiquey sort of guy.
He wants to go up, and he can tell that Jaejoong wants him to go up, too, but he’s embarrassed and nervous to ask.
They stand by the door of the building and Jaejoong looks up at it
Daring, Yoochun holds out his hand, again not making it a command.
Jaejoong’s shaking, but he reaches over and takes it.
Yoochun smiles and squeezes Jaejoong’s hands with both of his. His skin is so soft. “I’m so happy you’re here,” Yoochun says. “What time should I be here to help you tomorrow?”
Jaejoong looks away as he answers, “The company said ten.”
“Okay, beautiful, I will be here before then.”
He releases Jaejoong’s hand and takes one of his business cards from his wallet. “This card has my office and my cell number on it. Text me if anything changes, okay?”
Jaejoong nods, still looking mostly at the ground.
God, he’s beautiful.
Yoochun’s finger caresses his cheek before he can stop himself.
Jaejoong stiffens.
Yoochun pulls his hand away with a small laugh. “Sorry. I will see you tomorrow.”
Jaejoong nods and turns toward the door.
Yoochun turns too, before he calls him back, before he follows him inside, before he says fuck it and kisses him right there on the street.
“Y-yoochun,” Jaejoong says.
Yoochun turns back and to his surprise, has Jaejoong plastered to his body, arms around his waist, head at his shoulder. He’s shaking.
Yoochun smiles and wraps his arms around Jaejoong’s slim waist, under his jacket. He does not exude “Mate” feelings, but “dominant” feelings, trying his best to soothe him and the leopardess inside him.
“Thank you,” Jaejoong says against his shirt. “Thank you so much.”
And just as quickly, he’s gone and in the building.
Yoochun stands stunned for a little longer, and then gives himself a shake and heads back to his own place.
--- The Next Day ---
Yoochun arrives at Jaejoong’s apartment at 9:45. Jaejoong is down waiting for him, smoking a cigarette. Yoochun is surprised by that, not having smelled any sort of lingering tobacco on him the day before. Flushing, he goes to snuff it out, but Yoochun holds out his hand for it and takes a long drag before handing it back.
“Should quit,” he murmurs. His heart and his soul soar when Jaejoong smiles at him and nods.
“Drinking too,” Jaejoong whispers.
“And probably sweets and too much coffee.” Yoochun holds up the drink carrier with two coffees in it and the bag that has two pastries in it.
Jaejoong hums. “And staying up too late.”
“Forgetting to eat.”
“Masturbating.” Jaejoong meeps and covers his mouth, turning away.
Yoochun laughs. “Are we waiting down here for the furniture?”
Jaejoong shakes his head. “They called. They won’t be here until ten thirty. You ... I waited for you ... you can ... come upstairs.”
“Okay. Lead the way.”
Jaejoong enters the building, and Yoochun follows him through the modern lobby to the elevators. The building isn’t too high, and Jaejoong lives on the fourth floor. Yoochun is stunned by how empty the apartment is. There are only a few boxes sitting on the hardwood floor of the living room. No furniture. No pictures. Nothing.
Yes, he just moved in, but he obviously brought nothing with him. It’s all brand new. It doesn’t smell like anything else. The only thing that smells like Jaejoong are his clothes.
A fresh, clean start.
Yoochun wonders what exactly happened for Jaejoong to start all over in a new city.
Jaejoong leads him through the place. There are two bedrooms, one obviously the master, but only one bathroom. The kitchen is rather large, open to the smaller living room. It’s all very modern. Dark wood floor. Dark wood accents on white walls. The kitchen is white cabinets with dark accents. It fits very well together. And it fits perfectly with what Yoochun knows of Jaejoong and what he feels like.
They eat their pastries and drink their coffee in silence. Jaejoong’s cat is not hiding anything about herself. She’s relaxed and metaphysically purring. It really makes Yoochun happy. Yoochun wants to ask about his past, but he’s learning that Jaejoong will talk and do things when he’s ready.
The furniture arrives: bed, dresser, table, couch, desk, and bookshelf. Yoochun is glad that the movers bring it all up to his place, but it’s Yoochun who helps Jaejoong move it all to where it is supposed to go. It feels less empty. But still doesn't quite feel like Jaejoong. Everything smells too ... fake. Too new.
But it will take time.
Time that Yoochun is willing to give him. He collapses on the couch still covered in plastic and says, “Okay, you’re trying to kill me. Fuck. I need to work out more.”
He hears Jaejoong’s soft laughter. “Thank you so much.”
Yoochun nods. “You’re welcome. Do you need anything else?”
“Not ... not right now. I ... I am going to go shopping later for other things. Sheets and ... dishes ...”
Yoochun wants to offer to help, but he keeps his mouth shut. “Do you have a piano?”
Jaejoong shakes his head, frowning.
“I have an extra one, if you want it.”
He doesn’t answer, and maybe it’s too soon for such a gift between them. Yoochun lets it go and says, “Last night at the meeting, I told the prowl about you. They are not allowed to approach you. They are not allowed to hurt you. I made sure. Okay?”
Jaejoong flushes and nods. “Thank you.”
He wants another hug, Yoochun can tell, but he’s not sure that’s all he’ll do if Jaejoong touches him again.
“Get settled in,” Yoochun says, actually making this one a bit of an order. “When you’re ready, you can call or text me, okay?”
Jaejoong nods again. “I will. Thank you so much for your help.”
It’s with great reluctance that Yoochun sees himself out. His leopard is a bit peeved at him, but he also understands.
--- Two Days Later ---
Yoochun receives a text from a number he does not recognize. All it says is, “Hi.”
He knows it’s from Jaejoong, can feel it all the way to his cat’s soul. He can sense the nervousness, fear of rejection, and self-loathing. It makes Yoochun’s heart hurt.
A moment later, there’s another text. “This is Jaejoong. Are you busy?”
Yoochun smiles and replies: “For you? I’d cancel all my meetings if you need me. But no, I’m not busy.”
He sends back a smiling face. The next text takes awhile to arrive, and the nervousness is so palpable that Yoochun aches to hold him and reassure him.
“Can you come to my apartment please?”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
Yoochun doesn’t receive a reply as he heads over. A few minutes later, he sends, “Are you hungry? Should I stop and get some lunch?”
“No. I’m fine.”
Yoochun arrives probably sooner than normal. He may have speed-walked, almost ran.
The next text he gets is a code to the door and Yoochun is almost floored at the level of trust in that. He enters it eagerly and heads up the stairs. He’s too excited for the elevator. The door is ajar, and Yoochun pushes it open. Calling out a hello, he kicks off his flip flops and shuts the door.
Jaejoong appears from the hallway, and Yoochun physically holds himself still and mentally yanks his cat back by its tail.
Jaejoong is gorgeous in ripped up jeans and a white tank top. He has incredibly broad shoulders and a tiny waist. There are scrolls of a tattoo over his shoulder and bits of it peeking around the straps of the tank top. His hair is messy, dark roots showing a little. His face free of the makeup he wore last time but his skin is so pale, so pure. He doesn’t really need it anyway.
Yoochun swallows roughly, and Jaejoong blushes, curling his strong arms over his chest.
“Hi,” Yoochun manages to say.
“H-hi.”
It’s silent for awhile, and Yoochun takes his eyes off Jaejoong to look around. There are more homey touches: a few landscape pictures on the walls, pillows, and side tables.
“Sit,” Jaejoong says, whispers, requests. “Please ... please sit.”
Yoochun obeys because he will always obey Jaejoong. He sits on the couch and Jaejoong sits stiffly next to him. Right on the edge, hands in fists on his knees. Jaejoong is tense and nervous. But his cat isn’t. He’s drawing strength from his cat.
“Thank you,” Jaejoong whispers. “I ... I can’t. I need ... I’m sorry. I’m ... trying to be more ... trying to fix it. I can’t ...”
Concerned, Yoochun reaches for him and then stops when Jaejoong flinches.
“Will this be easier if I change to my cat form?” Yoochun asks.
Jaejoong looks at him and shakes his head.
“Then shut your eyes. Don’t look at me. I don’t expect you to,” Yoochun says. “You can say whatever you want to me.”
Jaejoong’s eyes shut, and he has such long, pretty lashes. Such a gorgeous profile. “Abandoned. I was ... abandoned. I don’t know ... who my parents are. I was adopted, but ... then ... my cat surfaced. She ...” He flushes bright red and winces.
Yoochun mentally soothes him, shows him that he already knows that Jaejoong’s cat is female and already accepts the leopardess inside him.
“It was so hard,” he continues. “I didn’t know what was going on. My adoptive family ... they ... they thought I was crazy and put me in an institute. I ran ... I ran away. To Japan. I ... I was scared for a long time. But in Japan. I ... there was a prowl that ... they let me stay and work.”
Again he flushes. The word work is imbued with too many meanings, and Yoochun growls at the thought of a dominant taking advantage of someone so sweet and precious as Jaejoong.
Jaejoong flinches and curls away from him with a whine.
It takes a few deep breaths and a few soft words of apology for Jaejoong to continue.
“Later ... I was scouted, by a modeling agency, and I left the prowl, ran away. Hid for a long time, but another prowl found me, and their dominant ... he tried ... he tried to claim me, but I fought and he hurt me ...”
Jaejoong is crying, and Yoochun cannot just sit anymore. He moves closer and wraps his arms around Jaejoong’s body, hugging him tightly. Jaejoong grips his shirt, face buried against his chest and cries.
“He tried ... he wants cubs with my cat, and forced me into her form and ...”
“Sh,” Yoochun says. “Shh, pretty kitty. It’s okay. I’m so glad you got away. I’m so glad you are here.”
“I had to run. I ran ... ran as a cat. As her, because I was not allowed to be human. Under a firm and direct order. I ... I had to run all the way to Osaka before I was far away enough to change back.”
“And you came here?”
“Not ... not at first. I lived in Osaka, but the prowl there knew that ... that ... he was looking for me. So I had to ... the dominant made me ... for his silence. His pet. I was ... I was ...”
Yoochun takes a very deep breath. His leopard is so angry, absolutely livid that their mate, their lovely, gorgeous leopardess was treated in such a way. It’s almost out of his control when his leopard breaks through the metaphysical barrier and curls up against Jaejoong’s cat, licks at her fur and her ears and her neck. He’s a much darker brown, his black spots larger. She is rather small, but fits against him just in the right way.
Jaejoong’s shuddering lessens as they feel their cats together. It’s the most obvious sign that they really are mates, but maybe Jaejoong doesn’t know anything about that. Yoochun says nothing. Not now. Not yet.
“I will protect you,” Yoochun whispers. “You are safe here, and they will never touch you again or I will rip out their throats.”
Jaejoong whimpers.
“If you want to join my prowl, you can. That just means you’ll have even more people to protect you. I understand if you do not want to. I understand if you never want to. We will not bother you. We will not force you. As a cat in my territory, I will protect you. You can live here and be free here and happy. So happy. I want you to be happy.”
Jaejoong tilts his head up, teary eyes full of disbelief.
Yoochun smiles and wipes the tears from his cheeks. It would be so very easy to lean down and press a kiss to his lips, but considering his past, Yoochun does not.
Jaejoong expects it though, and when his lips aren’t taken, his eyes open again.
Yoochun shakes his head. “I am not going to kiss you when you think it’s because you have to. You do not have to.”
Jaejoong ducks his head, burying his face against Yoochun’s chest again.
Yoochun holds him tightly, his own eyes shut. He pulls them both onto the couch more, and Jaejoong relaxes against him. It’s a physical and mental thing, and Yoochun is quiet for a long time, soothing him, running his hands over his arm.
It’s almost unconscious when he starts singing Frank Sinatra’s “It Had to Be You” and then “Fly Me To the Moon.”
And then Yoochun realizes that Jaejoong is asleep against him. His cat is asleep against Yoochun’s. He smiles, settles a bit more comfortably, shuts his eyes and leans his head on the back of the couch.
--- One Week Later ---
Yoochun is nervous. He hopes Jaejoong likes his place. It is very different than his own. It’s so obviously lived in. Hardwood floor. Old crown moldings. More organic and wavy than Jaejoong’s home of straight lines. He fights the urge to tidy as Jaejoong looks around. He hadn’t meant for Jaejoong to come to his apartment already.
But Jaejoong asked after their lunch together. And Yoochun cannot say no to his mate.
Jaejoong is a little apprehensive, but that comes from being a cat in a new place. He walks through the living room, smiling at the photos that Yoochun has on the walls. Most of them are of the prowl. There are a few of his family too.
Yoochun goes to the kitchen and takes out two bottles of soju.
“I can’t cook in here,” Jaejoong says from the doorway. “It’s too small.”
Yoochun laughs. “It is. I guess that means we’ll just eat at your place all the time.” It’s a sentence loaded with a double meaning. He’s been saying a lot of those. He doesn’t know if Jaejoong understands just yet.
He hands Jaejoong his soju and then moves back into the living room with his own. Remembering his promise of music, Yoochun goes to his record player. He finds a Duke Ellington album and puts it on.
Jaejoong hums in approval. Now his meandering has a bit of a bounce to it, in time with the music. Yoochun shows him his music room, and the piano that Jaejoong can have for his own place. The bedroom is cleaner than the living room at least.
Jaejoong’s smile widens at the large claw-footed tub in the bathroom. “You like baths?” he asks, voice teasing.
Yoochun laughs. “Yes. I do. Very much. Settle in hot water with music playing. It’s relaxing”
“Last week ...” Jaejoong blushes and looks away. “Last week, you sang ... you sang a song to me. Can you play it?”
Yoochun smiles. He knows exactly what song he means. He’s been humming or singing the song for a week. “Sure.” He leads the way back to the living room. He finds the Sinatra album and puts it on. Luckily, it’s the first song.
At the first note, Jaejoong bites his lip, and then moves closer. “Dance with me?” he whispers.
Yoochun almost breaks the soju bottle with how fast he puts is on the coffee table.
It makes Jaejoong laugh, nervously, but still a laugh. It’s so easy to wrap his arms around Jaejoong’s waist, hold his other hand and pull him close. Their bodies sway for a moment, getting used to being so close, and then Yoochun tightens his hold and leads Jaejoong around the room in a unhurried pattern. Jaejoong follows him easily.
Click to viewLyrics to It Had to Be You by Frank Sinatra:
Why do I do, just as you say,
Why must I just, give you your way
Why do I sigh, why don't I try, to forget
It must have been, that something lovers call fate
Kept me saying, "I have to wait"
I saw them all, just couldn't fall, 'til we met
It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found, the somebody who
Could make me be true, and could make me be blue
And even be glad, just to be sad, thinking of you
Some others I've seen, might never be mean
Might never be cross, or try to be boss, but they wouldn't do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill,
With all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.
The next song starts, and Jaejoong sighs, moving a little closer, laying his head on Yoochun’s shoulder.
“I ... I ... My cat ... she likes your cat a lot. She ... I’m confused about how I feel with you. I don’t understand.”
Yoochun swallows. This conversation. He has wanted to start it for days. “My cat likes your cat a lot too. And do you feel about me the way I feel about you? I can’t stop thinking about you. I always want to touch you. I dream of sleeping in the sun with you.”
Jaejoong stops their dance, holding him closer. “I never ... so many men called me their mate. I thought ... it wasn’t real. Just a way to control ... but this ... is that what this is?”
Yoochun smiles and lets his leopard rub against his leopardess. “That is exactly what this is. I’ve known it from the moment I saw you.”
“So ... what ... how ...”
“When you are ready, when your leopardess is ready, you’ll know. We’ll both know. Right now, for now, it’s this. Dancing in the living room. Going on dates. Eating at your house.”
“Kissing?”
Yoochun chuckles. “If you want to.”
Jaejoong looks up, eyes dark and soft, with a bit of determination. Yoochun moves his hand to his cheek and leans in for a sweet kiss. Just a soft touch of lips. He feels his leopard curl up with his leopardess, a smug contentedness filling his soul.
“When you can feel me so fully as I feel you. When you feel like your soul and my soul. When your cat and my cat are almost the same, then ... well, it’s sort of explosive. It may just happen one day in the middle of dinner. Our cats will let us know.”
“Why don’t you care?” Jaejoong whispers, so quiet.
Yoochun feels the leopardess move away from his own cat and he frowns. “Why don’t I care that your cat is female? Because she is part of you, my love, my mate, my soul. And because she is part of you that makes her part of me. My other half. Too many people have convinced you that something is wrong with you. For me, for us, you are perfect. Don’t change anything.”
“Except the smoking and the drinking.”
Yoochun chuckled. “And the masturbating?”
Jaejoong blushes, and Yoochun laughs harder, pulling Jaejoong back to his lips. His feet find the beat to the music and they continue their dance.
“You are my mate,” Yoochun says. “I love you so much, and I always will. I love everything about you. Never, ever doubt that.”
Jaejoong smiles. It’s beautiful and unguarded. Yoochun vows that from this moment on, Jaejoong will only smile. Only laugh. Only love. Yoochun will make sure of it.
.