Skin You're In 8/9
Title: Skin You're In 8/9
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaehwa (Changmin/Junsu, Yunho/Heechul, past Yunho/Jaehwa)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They aren't mine to play with.
Summary: Jaehwa is one of the prettiest girls Yoochun has ever met. Yoochun isn't sure how to react when he finds out that Jaehwa is a girl in her mind, but she has the body of a man. Does that change who she is?
Warnings: Transgender!Jaejoong
A/N: Before you start reading, I suggest you familiarize yourself with Gender Identity Disorder. I personally think calling it a disorder is bullshit. There is a lot of controversy over this topic.
If you have questions, or you want to discuss this topic with others, go here: http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/40030.html (you have to be a member of the community, go here to join http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/)
A/N Part 2: This fic is dedicated to willowwing because she has gone to great lengths to make her most recent fic realistic, and I hope that I have taken this topic and done the same. And she loves JaeChun, so it's a JaeChun.
Part 8: The Situation
They held hands all the way to Angel Café, but they didn’t talk. Yoochun wasn’t sure what to say. He hadn’t meant to freak her out, or make her feel like he didn’t want to be with her. He did want to be with her. Marriage would cause a lot of complications in his life, but a lifetime of waking up to her face and kissing her lips sounded like paradise.
As soon as they slipped into the door, a deep voice called for Jaehwa. She looked up, saw Yunho across the café and smiled widely. Yoochun hung their coats up on the rack and watched as his girlfriend almost flew into her ex-boyfriend’s arms. Yunho hugged her tightly, but looked up apologetically to Yoochun.
Yoochun shrugged. It’s not like he could control what Jaehwa did.
“Oh, girl, I know you are not in my man’s arms.”
Yoochun looked past Yunho to a table where a very pretty man sat. He had red hair that fell in perfectly styled waves to his shoulders. His skin was soft, but his jaw had a defined line. He wore skinny jeans and a tight white tank top under an open black shirt. He almost looked like a girl.
“Heechul, don’t be jealous,” Yunho said. “This is just Jaehwa.”
The man flipped his hair and snorted. “The lovely Jaehwa. Too bad for you, Yunho is mine. Get your hands off him.”
“I’m not one to be possessive,” Yoochun said and came up behind her, “but I agree with Heechul.”
Heechul looked him up and down. “Who are you?”
“Yoochun. Jaehwa’s boyfriend.”
“God, she has a boyfriend. Thank God!” He lifted his hands in the air.
“You don’t believe in God,” Yunho said.
Heechul rolled his eyes. “And yet, you constantly make me cry out to him.”
Jaehwa covered her hand with her mouth and laughed.
Yunho sat next to Heechul in the booth and gestured across from them. Heechul tittered, but said nothing as Jaehwa sat across from him, and Yoochun sat next to her, arm around her shoulders.
“Girl, I am glad you have a boyfriend, because I was afraid I was going to have to put the smack down on your ass for touching my man, but you have wicked nails.” He waved his fingers at her.
Yoochun stretched his shoulder, nail marks stinging slightly. “Yes, she does.”
Heechul laughed, and Jaehwa blushed.
“At least she has good taste,” Heechul said, inspecting his nails. “Your dress is cute and those boots are hot.”
“Thanks,” Jaehwa said. “I like your hair. I’ve been thinking of dying mine.”
“Don’t,” Yunho and Yoochun said at once.
“Jae! Yoochun!” Junsu shouted. “You going to pay for your coffee?”
Yoochun rolled his eyes and stood back up. “Do you want a muffin or anything?”
“No. I eat enough of them when I’m at work.”
“The ones that break,” Heechul said and did finger quotes.
Jaehwa giggled, covering her mouth. Yunho smiled at her fondly, and Yoochun tried not to feel insecure and possessive. Jaehwa had said just the night before that she loved him more than she had ever loved Yunho. He walked over to the counter, and made a face at Junsu.
“Don’t worry about it,” Junsu muttered. “He and Heechul have been dating for about two months. Jaehwa is just his friend.”
“I know, but … “
“You don’t get pissed at me when I hug or kiss her, and I used to fuck her. Is it because he’s tall dark and handsome, pretty much everything you’re not?”
Yoochun made a face. “No.”
“You really should look in a mirror once in awhile. You’re gorgeous, Chunnie.”
Yoochun tried not to blush as he handed over his credit card. “Sure. Look, I need some advice.”
“Again?”
“She asked me to meet her mom.”
He choked on nothing. “Really?’
“Yeah.”
“Wow.”
“I told her my mom wanted to meet her too.”
Junsu winced. “That’s probably not a good idea.”
Yoochun sighed. “Talk to her about it, okay. I tried, but she went off about how she couldn’t give me kids or a real wedding.”
“It’s really something she’s worried about with any man.”
“I know.”
“Wow. Meet her mom. That’s a huge thing. Because her mom sees her as Kim Jaejoong, and she’s going to assume you’re gay.”
Yoochun cursed softly. “I didn’t even think about that.”
Junsu smiled. “Don’t worry too much. Her mom accepts Jaehwa’s as a gay man, but not as a woman, and she did like Yunho, and she should like you. You’re pretty likeable.”
“Thanks, Su. You’re a good friend.”
He smiled. “I’m the best.”
Yoochun returned to the table. Heechul and Jaehwa were in a conversation about waxing. Yoochun made a face at Yunho, and he laughed.
“Don’t look at me like that. I love being smooth,” he said.
Yoochun shifted uncomfortably at the thought.
Jaehwa raised her eyebrows. “I talked Yunho into it; I think I could talk you into it.”
“No way.”
“Just a trim, really.”
“Men,” Heechul said. “They think you like choking on their curlies.”
Yoochun almost spit out his coffee.
Heechul rolled his eyes again. “Oh my god, you are so straight. Think of your girlfriend, who I’m sure has had your cock in her throat. It’s considerate anyway, and it’s not like she’s going to take you to a salon and have your asshole waxed.”
“Can we talk about something else?” Yoochun said, shifting again.
Heechul laughed. “Oh, god, he’s hilarious. And really, Yoochun, babe. I wish you were bisexual like my man, here, because damn, you are gorgeous. Isn’t he gorgeous, Jaehwa?”
“I think so,” she said and smiled at Yoochun, her face cradled in her hand.
“I’m pretty damn sure I could turn you bi. I mean, I’m man through and through, just because I like a pedicure and pretty scarves doesn’t mean I don’t have a dick.”
Jaehwa inhaled sharply, and Yoochun glanced at her in concern.
Heechul rambled on. “But I have been known to turn straight men into a writhing mass of begging just from a blow job. Of course, half of them tell me I’m pretty enough to be a girl anyway, so I don’t count, but the other half can’t wait to get their virgin mouths on my dick and suck me off until I can’t see straight. And if I’m lucky, I can have them on their backs and be riding their cocks, sometimes two at a time.”
“Heechul. Shut up,” Yunho said, looking at Jaehwa who was trembling slightly. “You sure as hell better not be making straight boys question their sexuality by riding them. You’re mine.”
“Honey, please, all those boys have to do is look at me.” Heechul flipped his hair, and then frowned at Jaehwa. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she whispered and then smiled at him. It was faked. They could all tell, but Heechul didn’t protest. Luckily, he changed the subject again, and asked Jaehwa where she got her nails done.
Yoochun exchanged a look of concern with Yunho and he nodded. A few minutes later, he leaned over to Heechul and started whispering in his ear. Heechul’s mouth opened, his tongue swiped over his lips and then his eyes rolled back.
“We’re … wow, fuck, Yunho, we’re … yeah.” He shoved Yunho’s hips, sliding him over the bench. “Oh god, really? And you’ll use the blue beads?”
“And the pink ones if your ass can handle it.”
“Oh, babe, my ass can handle anything.” Heechul grabbed Yunho’s arm and dragged him across the café. Yunho had enough time to wave and then they were out the door. Yoochun smiled and then turned to Jaehwa. He slid over and put his arm around her shoulder and held her closely.
“Are you okay?” he whispered into her hair.
“Is that what you think of me?” she whispered.
“What?”
“That even though I like pedicures and scarves, I still have a dick so …”
Yoochun pushed her up enough and forced their eyes to meet. “No. That is not what I think of you. I think you’re a very pretty girl, and you’re my girl, and it’s not your fault that you were put in the wrong body.”
“Are you just saying that because you don’t want to say you’re gay?”
Yoochun sighed. “No, love. Not at all. I love you. I don’t love your gender, or what society has deemed as your gender. I love you.”
“But if I was like Heechul, you wouldn’t like me. You wouldn’t even have given me a chance if I was like Heechul.”
“I can’t argue that,” Yoochun said. “But that’s because I’m not attracted to men, especially gay men. I like girls. And who is my girl?”
Jaehwa smiled softly and her eyes fluttered shut and Yoochun kissed her.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you. Do you really want me to meet your mom?”
Yoochun nodded. “But only if you want to. She’s a little intimidating.”
“She’s tough. Raising two boys on her own. I admire that. But yeah … maybe soon. Okay?”
“Soon.”
“My sister’s birthday is this weekend. Which is why I mentioned meeting my mom. Junsu and I are probably going to go down on Saturday and stay the night.”
Yoochun thought about what he had to do and said, “Do you want me to come with?”
“Is it too soon?”
Yoochun smiled and kissed her again. “I’ve been dating you for a year, my love. No. I don’t think it’s too soon.”
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Yoochun thought it was too soon, and was doing his best not to panic. He was about to meet Jaehwa’s family. The people that made her life hell. Well, that wasn’t true. Junsu assured him that her father would not be there, because Jaehwa never came down when her father was there.
Junsu was driving, and they had left so early in the morning that Jaehwa had done little more than throw on relaxing clothes and then curled up against Yoochun’s side and fell asleep. He had his arm around her, and his leg was going numb.
Changmin was in the passenger seat. He’d said that he was going down for the entertainment factor inherent with meeting parents for the first time, but Yoochun really appreciated his support. Junsu and Changmin’s hands were laced together over the middle console.
Junsu shot concerned looks at Yoochun through the entire trip, and those more than anything freaked Yoochun out. Junsu only got concerned and overprotective when Jaehwa was in trouble.
A couple hours later, Junsu snapped him out of his world of “what if” questions. “Wake Jaehwa up. We’re almost there.”
Yoochun ran his hands through her hand, down her shoulders and shook her a little. She moaned and buried her face in his stomach. “We’re almost there, love. Wake up.”
“Don’t want to.”
“I know, but come on.” He pulled her up and she pouted and he smiled and kissed it away.
She rubbed her eyes and then looked around to gauge where they were at. “This was a bad idea,” Jaehwa said and slumped in the seat.
Junsu snorted. “Your idea.”
“Aren’t most girls’ ideas bad ideas?” Changmin said.
Jaehwa slapped his head. “Shut up, dongsaeng.”
“Um, Jae,” Junsu said and met her eyes through the rearview mirror and then looked at Changmin, and then back at her.
Her eyes went wide. “Oh shit!”
“What?” Changmin said.
Jaehwa turned in panic to Yoochun.
“What?” he repeated.
She buried her face in her hands and muttered, “Oh shit,” over and over and over again.
“I’m sorry, Jae,” Junsu said. “I wasn’t even thinking when I invited him to come.”
She shook her head.
“What’s going on?” Changmin asked.
Junsu sighed. “It’s your call, Jae.”
Yoochun rubbed her back. “Love? What’s wrong?”
“He doesn’t know,” she said, muffled in her hands, and then she repeated it. “Everyone knows, but he doesn’t know.”
And just like that, Yoochun understood. He glanced at Changmin with wide eyes.
“What?” Changmin asked.
Junsu slowed down and turned into a parking lot, still empty in the early morning. “Jae?”
Jae sighed and curled into Yoochun’s body. He put his arms around her and kissed her head.
“You want me to tell him?” Junsu asked.
Jae was silent for a long time, and then she nodded.
Junsu turned to Changmin, and Changmin looked at Yoochun. “There isn’t really an easy way to say this, but … well, Jaehwa is …” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Jaehwa is …”
“Don’t say she’s a guy,” Yoochun inserted quickly. “She isn’t.”
Changmin’s eyes went wide. “What?’
Yoochun held her tighter and said, “She was born male, but knew at a young age that she was supposed to be female. Her family didn’t approve and only her gay best friend offered her any support. She’s been living as a female in Seoul for six years.”
Changmin looked at the shivering form of Jaehwa against Yoochun’s chest. “Oh god, a lot of things make a lot more sense. No wonder it took you so long to tap that ass.”
“Oh god, dongsaeng, you are so dead,” Jaehwa said and sat up. “You think this is easy?”
Changmin held up his hands, but Jaehwa slapped at him over the seat anyway. Yoochun thought of stopping her, but laughed instead, and Junsu finally grabbed her arm.
“The problem,” Junsu said, pushing Jaehwa back into Yoochun’s arms, “is that her family doesn’t accept that she’s a girl. They call her Jaejoong, and, well … sometimes she acts differently around her family.”
Yoochun looked at her.
She wouldn’t meet his eyes and she shrugged. “I … it’s just easier for them, and for me, and …”
“I am not calling you Jaejoong,” Yoochun said, harshly enough that she flinched. “I did not fall in love with Jaejoong.”
Yoochun looked up at Changmin.
Changmin shrugged and said, “Who’s Jaejoong?”
Jaehwa finally looked up, close to tears, and turned to Changmin, beautiful brown eyes wide.
“What?” he said. “I only know Jaehwa.”
“Thanks, Minnie,” Jaehwa whispered.
Junsu continued, “Her mom accepts her that Jaejoong is gay and that Jaejoong likes wearing girl’s clothes and makeup, but she blames all of that on Jaejoong’s eight older sisters. She refuses to acknowledge Jaehwa’s existence.”
Yoochun shook his head and ran his hand over Jaehwa’s shoulder. “I won’t call you Jaejoong.”
She bit her lip and looked away. “Changmin, trade me places. I need a mirror.”
“Why?”
“Just do it, please.”
Changmin looked at Junsu and he nodded, and with a sigh, he climbed from the car and traded places with Jaehwa. As soon as Junsu started the car and continued driving, Jaehwa had her hair in her hands, wrapping it up into a bun and pinning it tightly to her head. She pulled out a cloth from her purse and started removing the little makeup she had put on.
“Jaehwa,” Yoochun said, half surprised, half confused.
She met his eyes through the mirror but said nothing.
Yoochun realized that she was wearing the most boyish thing he’d ever seen her in. Loose pants with rips up one side, and a rocker t-shirt that wasn’t tight. Her hoody was brown, non-descript. And sneakers. She never wore sneakers. When her hair disappeared under a black beanie, Yoochun really protested.
“Jaehwa!”
“It’s a necessity,” Junsu said.
“I thought you said her mom was okay with-“
“There’s a line between worrying about your son who is getting beat up by your husband and admitting that your son was supposed to be a girl. To her family, Jaejoong is gay. Jaejoong is not a girl.”
Yoochun glared at Jaehwa. “You shouldn’t hide who you are.”
“And you’re suddenly perfectly accepting of all of me?” she said, checking her face in the mirror.
Yoochun shook his head. “If I knew you were going to do this, I wouldn’t have come.”
“Why not?”
“Because! This is ridiculous!”
Jaehwa smirked and said, “Afraid of liking a boy, Yoochun? Afraid of being gay?”
Yoochun opened his mouth and then snapped it shut and looked at the window.
“Jae, that’s not fair,” Junsu said.
“Not fair, but true,” she said.
Yoochun did not look at either of them. He almost didn’t come because of Junsu’s warning that their mother would think he was gay. He wasn’t gay. Or at least … no, he wasn’t gay.
“You’re not gay,” Yoochun finally mumbled.
“Talking to yourself?” Jaewha asked.
“No, I’m talking to you. You’re not gay.”
“But Jaejoong is.”
“Jaejoong doesn’t exist.”
“The penis begs to differ.”
“You’ve spent the last year hiding Jaejoong from me, so I don’t see him, and I tried, and it upset you, so I refuse to see him, and now all of a sudden, you’re a he and I’m just supposed to be okay with that?”
“You’re acting very selfish right now,” Jaehwa said, a warning in her voice.
Did she deepen it? Yoochun couldn’t tell.
Yoochun looked back out the window and sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to call me Jaejoong,” she said. “I want my family to see that someone besides Junsu accepts me as who I am.”
“Then what’s with the costume?” Yoochun demanded. “Why look like a boy just to please them?”
Jaehwa didn’t reply.
Yoochun sighed in frustration again. He didn’t have long to fume. Junsu was pulling into a driveway only a couple minutes later. There were a few toys in the yard and a red car in the driveway.
Junsu climbed out of the car first, followed by Changmin. Jaehwa stayed put, head lowered. Yoochun knew that she was battling, and it was his fault. He needed to realize how hard this was for her.
“I’m sorry, love,” he whispered and touched her shoulder. She reached up and grabbed his hand. She squeezed it once and then opened the door and climbed out of the car. He watched as she moved to MinSu and Junsu hugged her tightly. He glared at Yoochun in the car.
Yoochun took a deep breath and excited the car. A woman stepped out of the front door. She smiled widely.
“Jaejoong!”
“Hi, noona.”
She rushed to her but Jaehwa moved a little slower. They embraced, and Yoochun heard her jabbering, but didn’t pay attention to what he said.
“That’s Yoojin,” Junsu supplied. “She and Jaehwa are closet in age. She still lives at home, and is unmarried.”
Yoochun nodded absently, but watched Jaehwa’s body language. She stayed tense in her sister’s embrace.
“Yoojin is the first person that Jaehwa told, and she didn’t support her at all. The entire family has taken on this, ‘ignore it and it’ll go away’,” Junsu said.
“What are you three doing all the way over there?” Yoojin asked. “Come in, come in.”
This time Junsu sighed. “Let the judging begin,” he muttered and pushed away from the car. When he was in range, Junsu bowed and said, “Hello, Yoojin-noona.”
Yoojin smiled at him and then looked at Changmin.
“This is my boyfriend, Shim Changmin.”
“Of course, he is. Welcome, Shim Changmin-shi.”
“Thank you, Kim Yoojin-shi,” Changmin said and bowed.
“And this is-“
Yoochun cut Junsu off. “I’m Jaehwa’s boyfriend, Yoojin-shi. My name is Park Yoochun.”
Yoojin’s lips thinned and she raised an eyebrow, turning the look to Jaehwa.
“What? He’s my boyfriend. Get over it.” Jaehwa turned around, and Yoochun imagined her hair, loose and flipping over her shoulder.
Yoojin gave them all one more look and followed after her.
“I knew this trip would be entertaining,” Changmin said.
“Since Jaehwa isn’t here to do it,” Yoochun slapped his arm.
Changmin smirked. “She hits harder than you, hyung.”
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Part 9: The Support
Part 7: The Promise
Part 6: The Conflict
Part 5: The Setback
Part 4: The Date
Part 3: The Wait
Part 2: The Talk
Part 1: The Secret
.
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaehwa (Changmin/Junsu, Yunho/Heechul, past Yunho/Jaehwa)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They aren't mine to play with.
Summary: Jaehwa is one of the prettiest girls Yoochun has ever met. Yoochun isn't sure how to react when he finds out that Jaehwa is a girl in her mind, but she has the body of a man. Does that change who she is?
Warnings: Transgender!Jaejoong
A/N: Before you start reading, I suggest you familiarize yourself with Gender Identity Disorder. I personally think calling it a disorder is bullshit. There is a lot of controversy over this topic.
If you have questions, or you want to discuss this topic with others, go here: http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/40030.html (you have to be a member of the community, go here to join http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/)
A/N Part 2: This fic is dedicated to willowwing because she has gone to great lengths to make her most recent fic realistic, and I hope that I have taken this topic and done the same. And she loves JaeChun, so it's a JaeChun.
Part 8: The Situation
They held hands all the way to Angel Café, but they didn’t talk. Yoochun wasn’t sure what to say. He hadn’t meant to freak her out, or make her feel like he didn’t want to be with her. He did want to be with her. Marriage would cause a lot of complications in his life, but a lifetime of waking up to her face and kissing her lips sounded like paradise.
As soon as they slipped into the door, a deep voice called for Jaehwa. She looked up, saw Yunho across the café and smiled widely. Yoochun hung their coats up on the rack and watched as his girlfriend almost flew into her ex-boyfriend’s arms. Yunho hugged her tightly, but looked up apologetically to Yoochun.
Yoochun shrugged. It’s not like he could control what Jaehwa did.
“Oh, girl, I know you are not in my man’s arms.”
Yoochun looked past Yunho to a table where a very pretty man sat. He had red hair that fell in perfectly styled waves to his shoulders. His skin was soft, but his jaw had a defined line. He wore skinny jeans and a tight white tank top under an open black shirt. He almost looked like a girl.
“Heechul, don’t be jealous,” Yunho said. “This is just Jaehwa.”
The man flipped his hair and snorted. “The lovely Jaehwa. Too bad for you, Yunho is mine. Get your hands off him.”
“I’m not one to be possessive,” Yoochun said and came up behind her, “but I agree with Heechul.”
Heechul looked him up and down. “Who are you?”
“Yoochun. Jaehwa’s boyfriend.”
“God, she has a boyfriend. Thank God!” He lifted his hands in the air.
“You don’t believe in God,” Yunho said.
Heechul rolled his eyes. “And yet, you constantly make me cry out to him.”
Jaehwa covered her hand with her mouth and laughed.
Yunho sat next to Heechul in the booth and gestured across from them. Heechul tittered, but said nothing as Jaehwa sat across from him, and Yoochun sat next to her, arm around her shoulders.
“Girl, I am glad you have a boyfriend, because I was afraid I was going to have to put the smack down on your ass for touching my man, but you have wicked nails.” He waved his fingers at her.
Yoochun stretched his shoulder, nail marks stinging slightly. “Yes, she does.”
Heechul laughed, and Jaehwa blushed.
“At least she has good taste,” Heechul said, inspecting his nails. “Your dress is cute and those boots are hot.”
“Thanks,” Jaehwa said. “I like your hair. I’ve been thinking of dying mine.”
“Don’t,” Yunho and Yoochun said at once.
“Jae! Yoochun!” Junsu shouted. “You going to pay for your coffee?”
Yoochun rolled his eyes and stood back up. “Do you want a muffin or anything?”
“No. I eat enough of them when I’m at work.”
“The ones that break,” Heechul said and did finger quotes.
Jaehwa giggled, covering her mouth. Yunho smiled at her fondly, and Yoochun tried not to feel insecure and possessive. Jaehwa had said just the night before that she loved him more than she had ever loved Yunho. He walked over to the counter, and made a face at Junsu.
“Don’t worry about it,” Junsu muttered. “He and Heechul have been dating for about two months. Jaehwa is just his friend.”
“I know, but … “
“You don’t get pissed at me when I hug or kiss her, and I used to fuck her. Is it because he’s tall dark and handsome, pretty much everything you’re not?”
Yoochun made a face. “No.”
“You really should look in a mirror once in awhile. You’re gorgeous, Chunnie.”
Yoochun tried not to blush as he handed over his credit card. “Sure. Look, I need some advice.”
“Again?”
“She asked me to meet her mom.”
He choked on nothing. “Really?’
“Yeah.”
“Wow.”
“I told her my mom wanted to meet her too.”
Junsu winced. “That’s probably not a good idea.”
Yoochun sighed. “Talk to her about it, okay. I tried, but she went off about how she couldn’t give me kids or a real wedding.”
“It’s really something she’s worried about with any man.”
“I know.”
“Wow. Meet her mom. That’s a huge thing. Because her mom sees her as Kim Jaejoong, and she’s going to assume you’re gay.”
Yoochun cursed softly. “I didn’t even think about that.”
Junsu smiled. “Don’t worry too much. Her mom accepts Jaehwa’s as a gay man, but not as a woman, and she did like Yunho, and she should like you. You’re pretty likeable.”
“Thanks, Su. You’re a good friend.”
He smiled. “I’m the best.”
Yoochun returned to the table. Heechul and Jaehwa were in a conversation about waxing. Yoochun made a face at Yunho, and he laughed.
“Don’t look at me like that. I love being smooth,” he said.
Yoochun shifted uncomfortably at the thought.
Jaehwa raised her eyebrows. “I talked Yunho into it; I think I could talk you into it.”
“No way.”
“Just a trim, really.”
“Men,” Heechul said. “They think you like choking on their curlies.”
Yoochun almost spit out his coffee.
Heechul rolled his eyes again. “Oh my god, you are so straight. Think of your girlfriend, who I’m sure has had your cock in her throat. It’s considerate anyway, and it’s not like she’s going to take you to a salon and have your asshole waxed.”
“Can we talk about something else?” Yoochun said, shifting again.
Heechul laughed. “Oh, god, he’s hilarious. And really, Yoochun, babe. I wish you were bisexual like my man, here, because damn, you are gorgeous. Isn’t he gorgeous, Jaehwa?”
“I think so,” she said and smiled at Yoochun, her face cradled in her hand.
“I’m pretty damn sure I could turn you bi. I mean, I’m man through and through, just because I like a pedicure and pretty scarves doesn’t mean I don’t have a dick.”
Jaehwa inhaled sharply, and Yoochun glanced at her in concern.
Heechul rambled on. “But I have been known to turn straight men into a writhing mass of begging just from a blow job. Of course, half of them tell me I’m pretty enough to be a girl anyway, so I don’t count, but the other half can’t wait to get their virgin mouths on my dick and suck me off until I can’t see straight. And if I’m lucky, I can have them on their backs and be riding their cocks, sometimes two at a time.”
“Heechul. Shut up,” Yunho said, looking at Jaehwa who was trembling slightly. “You sure as hell better not be making straight boys question their sexuality by riding them. You’re mine.”
“Honey, please, all those boys have to do is look at me.” Heechul flipped his hair, and then frowned at Jaehwa. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she whispered and then smiled at him. It was faked. They could all tell, but Heechul didn’t protest. Luckily, he changed the subject again, and asked Jaehwa where she got her nails done.
Yoochun exchanged a look of concern with Yunho and he nodded. A few minutes later, he leaned over to Heechul and started whispering in his ear. Heechul’s mouth opened, his tongue swiped over his lips and then his eyes rolled back.
“We’re … wow, fuck, Yunho, we’re … yeah.” He shoved Yunho’s hips, sliding him over the bench. “Oh god, really? And you’ll use the blue beads?”
“And the pink ones if your ass can handle it.”
“Oh, babe, my ass can handle anything.” Heechul grabbed Yunho’s arm and dragged him across the café. Yunho had enough time to wave and then they were out the door. Yoochun smiled and then turned to Jaehwa. He slid over and put his arm around her shoulder and held her closely.
“Are you okay?” he whispered into her hair.
“Is that what you think of me?” she whispered.
“What?”
“That even though I like pedicures and scarves, I still have a dick so …”
Yoochun pushed her up enough and forced their eyes to meet. “No. That is not what I think of you. I think you’re a very pretty girl, and you’re my girl, and it’s not your fault that you were put in the wrong body.”
“Are you just saying that because you don’t want to say you’re gay?”
Yoochun sighed. “No, love. Not at all. I love you. I don’t love your gender, or what society has deemed as your gender. I love you.”
“But if I was like Heechul, you wouldn’t like me. You wouldn’t even have given me a chance if I was like Heechul.”
“I can’t argue that,” Yoochun said. “But that’s because I’m not attracted to men, especially gay men. I like girls. And who is my girl?”
Jaehwa smiled softly and her eyes fluttered shut and Yoochun kissed her.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you. Do you really want me to meet your mom?”
Yoochun nodded. “But only if you want to. She’s a little intimidating.”
“She’s tough. Raising two boys on her own. I admire that. But yeah … maybe soon. Okay?”
“Soon.”
“My sister’s birthday is this weekend. Which is why I mentioned meeting my mom. Junsu and I are probably going to go down on Saturday and stay the night.”
Yoochun thought about what he had to do and said, “Do you want me to come with?”
“Is it too soon?”
Yoochun smiled and kissed her again. “I’ve been dating you for a year, my love. No. I don’t think it’s too soon.”
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Yoochun thought it was too soon, and was doing his best not to panic. He was about to meet Jaehwa’s family. The people that made her life hell. Well, that wasn’t true. Junsu assured him that her father would not be there, because Jaehwa never came down when her father was there.
Junsu was driving, and they had left so early in the morning that Jaehwa had done little more than throw on relaxing clothes and then curled up against Yoochun’s side and fell asleep. He had his arm around her, and his leg was going numb.
Changmin was in the passenger seat. He’d said that he was going down for the entertainment factor inherent with meeting parents for the first time, but Yoochun really appreciated his support. Junsu and Changmin’s hands were laced together over the middle console.
Junsu shot concerned looks at Yoochun through the entire trip, and those more than anything freaked Yoochun out. Junsu only got concerned and overprotective when Jaehwa was in trouble.
A couple hours later, Junsu snapped him out of his world of “what if” questions. “Wake Jaehwa up. We’re almost there.”
Yoochun ran his hands through her hand, down her shoulders and shook her a little. She moaned and buried her face in his stomach. “We’re almost there, love. Wake up.”
“Don’t want to.”
“I know, but come on.” He pulled her up and she pouted and he smiled and kissed it away.
She rubbed her eyes and then looked around to gauge where they were at. “This was a bad idea,” Jaehwa said and slumped in the seat.
Junsu snorted. “Your idea.”
“Aren’t most girls’ ideas bad ideas?” Changmin said.
Jaehwa slapped his head. “Shut up, dongsaeng.”
“Um, Jae,” Junsu said and met her eyes through the rearview mirror and then looked at Changmin, and then back at her.
Her eyes went wide. “Oh shit!”
“What?” Changmin said.
Jaehwa turned in panic to Yoochun.
“What?” he repeated.
She buried her face in her hands and muttered, “Oh shit,” over and over and over again.
“I’m sorry, Jae,” Junsu said. “I wasn’t even thinking when I invited him to come.”
She shook her head.
“What’s going on?” Changmin asked.
Junsu sighed. “It’s your call, Jae.”
Yoochun rubbed her back. “Love? What’s wrong?”
“He doesn’t know,” she said, muffled in her hands, and then she repeated it. “Everyone knows, but he doesn’t know.”
And just like that, Yoochun understood. He glanced at Changmin with wide eyes.
“What?” Changmin asked.
Junsu slowed down and turned into a parking lot, still empty in the early morning. “Jae?”
Jae sighed and curled into Yoochun’s body. He put his arms around her and kissed her head.
“You want me to tell him?” Junsu asked.
Jae was silent for a long time, and then she nodded.
Junsu turned to Changmin, and Changmin looked at Yoochun. “There isn’t really an easy way to say this, but … well, Jaehwa is …” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Jaehwa is …”
“Don’t say she’s a guy,” Yoochun inserted quickly. “She isn’t.”
Changmin’s eyes went wide. “What?’
Yoochun held her tighter and said, “She was born male, but knew at a young age that she was supposed to be female. Her family didn’t approve and only her gay best friend offered her any support. She’s been living as a female in Seoul for six years.”
Changmin looked at the shivering form of Jaehwa against Yoochun’s chest. “Oh god, a lot of things make a lot more sense. No wonder it took you so long to tap that ass.”
“Oh god, dongsaeng, you are so dead,” Jaehwa said and sat up. “You think this is easy?”
Changmin held up his hands, but Jaehwa slapped at him over the seat anyway. Yoochun thought of stopping her, but laughed instead, and Junsu finally grabbed her arm.
“The problem,” Junsu said, pushing Jaehwa back into Yoochun’s arms, “is that her family doesn’t accept that she’s a girl. They call her Jaejoong, and, well … sometimes she acts differently around her family.”
Yoochun looked at her.
She wouldn’t meet his eyes and she shrugged. “I … it’s just easier for them, and for me, and …”
“I am not calling you Jaejoong,” Yoochun said, harshly enough that she flinched. “I did not fall in love with Jaejoong.”
Yoochun looked up at Changmin.
Changmin shrugged and said, “Who’s Jaejoong?”
Jaehwa finally looked up, close to tears, and turned to Changmin, beautiful brown eyes wide.
“What?” he said. “I only know Jaehwa.”
“Thanks, Minnie,” Jaehwa whispered.
Junsu continued, “Her mom accepts her that Jaejoong is gay and that Jaejoong likes wearing girl’s clothes and makeup, but she blames all of that on Jaejoong’s eight older sisters. She refuses to acknowledge Jaehwa’s existence.”
Yoochun shook his head and ran his hand over Jaehwa’s shoulder. “I won’t call you Jaejoong.”
She bit her lip and looked away. “Changmin, trade me places. I need a mirror.”
“Why?”
“Just do it, please.”
Changmin looked at Junsu and he nodded, and with a sigh, he climbed from the car and traded places with Jaehwa. As soon as Junsu started the car and continued driving, Jaehwa had her hair in her hands, wrapping it up into a bun and pinning it tightly to her head. She pulled out a cloth from her purse and started removing the little makeup she had put on.
“Jaehwa,” Yoochun said, half surprised, half confused.
She met his eyes through the mirror but said nothing.
Yoochun realized that she was wearing the most boyish thing he’d ever seen her in. Loose pants with rips up one side, and a rocker t-shirt that wasn’t tight. Her hoody was brown, non-descript. And sneakers. She never wore sneakers. When her hair disappeared under a black beanie, Yoochun really protested.
“Jaehwa!”
“It’s a necessity,” Junsu said.
“I thought you said her mom was okay with-“
“There’s a line between worrying about your son who is getting beat up by your husband and admitting that your son was supposed to be a girl. To her family, Jaejoong is gay. Jaejoong is not a girl.”
Yoochun glared at Jaehwa. “You shouldn’t hide who you are.”
“And you’re suddenly perfectly accepting of all of me?” she said, checking her face in the mirror.
Yoochun shook his head. “If I knew you were going to do this, I wouldn’t have come.”
“Why not?”
“Because! This is ridiculous!”
Jaehwa smirked and said, “Afraid of liking a boy, Yoochun? Afraid of being gay?”
Yoochun opened his mouth and then snapped it shut and looked at the window.
“Jae, that’s not fair,” Junsu said.
“Not fair, but true,” she said.
Yoochun did not look at either of them. He almost didn’t come because of Junsu’s warning that their mother would think he was gay. He wasn’t gay. Or at least … no, he wasn’t gay.
“You’re not gay,” Yoochun finally mumbled.
“Talking to yourself?” Jaewha asked.
“No, I’m talking to you. You’re not gay.”
“But Jaejoong is.”
“Jaejoong doesn’t exist.”
“The penis begs to differ.”
“You’ve spent the last year hiding Jaejoong from me, so I don’t see him, and I tried, and it upset you, so I refuse to see him, and now all of a sudden, you’re a he and I’m just supposed to be okay with that?”
“You’re acting very selfish right now,” Jaehwa said, a warning in her voice.
Did she deepen it? Yoochun couldn’t tell.
Yoochun looked back out the window and sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to call me Jaejoong,” she said. “I want my family to see that someone besides Junsu accepts me as who I am.”
“Then what’s with the costume?” Yoochun demanded. “Why look like a boy just to please them?”
Jaehwa didn’t reply.
Yoochun sighed in frustration again. He didn’t have long to fume. Junsu was pulling into a driveway only a couple minutes later. There were a few toys in the yard and a red car in the driveway.
Junsu climbed out of the car first, followed by Changmin. Jaehwa stayed put, head lowered. Yoochun knew that she was battling, and it was his fault. He needed to realize how hard this was for her.
“I’m sorry, love,” he whispered and touched her shoulder. She reached up and grabbed his hand. She squeezed it once and then opened the door and climbed out of the car. He watched as she moved to MinSu and Junsu hugged her tightly. He glared at Yoochun in the car.
Yoochun took a deep breath and excited the car. A woman stepped out of the front door. She smiled widely.
“Jaejoong!”
“Hi, noona.”
She rushed to her but Jaehwa moved a little slower. They embraced, and Yoochun heard her jabbering, but didn’t pay attention to what he said.
“That’s Yoojin,” Junsu supplied. “She and Jaehwa are closet in age. She still lives at home, and is unmarried.”
Yoochun nodded absently, but watched Jaehwa’s body language. She stayed tense in her sister’s embrace.
“Yoojin is the first person that Jaehwa told, and she didn’t support her at all. The entire family has taken on this, ‘ignore it and it’ll go away’,” Junsu said.
“What are you three doing all the way over there?” Yoojin asked. “Come in, come in.”
This time Junsu sighed. “Let the judging begin,” he muttered and pushed away from the car. When he was in range, Junsu bowed and said, “Hello, Yoojin-noona.”
Yoojin smiled at him and then looked at Changmin.
“This is my boyfriend, Shim Changmin.”
“Of course, he is. Welcome, Shim Changmin-shi.”
“Thank you, Kim Yoojin-shi,” Changmin said and bowed.
“And this is-“
Yoochun cut Junsu off. “I’m Jaehwa’s boyfriend, Yoojin-shi. My name is Park Yoochun.”
Yoojin’s lips thinned and she raised an eyebrow, turning the look to Jaehwa.
“What? He’s my boyfriend. Get over it.” Jaehwa turned around, and Yoochun imagined her hair, loose and flipping over her shoulder.
Yoojin gave them all one more look and followed after her.
“I knew this trip would be entertaining,” Changmin said.
“Since Jaehwa isn’t here to do it,” Yoochun slapped his arm.
Changmin smirked. “She hits harder than you, hyung.”
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Part 9: The Support
Part 7: The Promise
Part 6: The Conflict
Part 5: The Setback
Part 4: The Date
Part 3: The Wait
Part 2: The Talk
Part 1: The Secret
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