I Never Told Him ... 1/3
Title: I Never Told Him ... 1/3
Pairing: Yoochun/Changmin (minor Changmin/Jaejoong)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They aren't mine.
Summary: Yoochun meant everything to me, and I thought he felt the same about me. Obviously I was wrong.
Warning: under18!Changmin, angst and no happy ending
Poster credit goes to markieyumeutau! Thank you! I love it!
Part 1:
I'm not going to bore you with details of how it started. Or make you uncomfortable with details if you're one of those people that shies away from the truth.
Park Yoochun was my neighbor. His mom and my mom were best friends. He's almost seven years older than I am, and he first kissed me when I was ten. I knew it was wrong then, I know it's wrong now, but I've been in love with him my whole life.
A few times I almost told my mom. Yoochun would have gotten into a lot of trouble. And I never told him no.
We almost got caught more times than I can count.
I have no siblings, and Yoochun has a younger brother (still older than I am). Both of our moms were so happy that I saw them as my hyungs.
It always happened the same way. Yoochun would come over after school and talk to my mom about college and his studies, and I would sit at my room, at my desk, breath short, hands clammy, listening to the rumble of their voices. Yoochun's laughter made my head light. After a few minutes, Yoochun would ask where I was and then his feet would pound up the stairs. I waited for him at my desk, or I stood up and had my shirt half off when he opened the door.
And he shut the door, locked it and a moment later we were kissing and he was touching me and sometimes we had ten minutes, other times we had a half hour.
Yoochun kissed me and touched me until I was naked and on the bed underneath him. He rarely took all his clothes off. Usually he only unbuttoned his jeans and then hovered over me, stroking himself until he came all over my body. I loved the feel of it splattering on my chest, the way his eyes shut and he bit his plump lower lip. And then he muttered my name, groaned, Changmin into the skin of my neck.
When he was done and recovered, he'd kiss me, so softly, whisper I love you and start cleaning us up. And that was until I was twelve or so. After that we got each other off.
The first time he fingered me, I was thirteen, face pressed into my pillow, muffling my moans as his fingers pumped in and out of me.
I was in heaven, walking on clouds.
When Yoochun went to college, I felt like I was dying from a broken heart, but he called and texted me and when I was home alone, he would talk dirty to me and I'd stroke off wishing he was here. He came over during his vacations.
The only good thing about him being in college was that my grades improved.
At fifteen, my world ended.
I ran home from school, jacket flying behind me. Yoochun was home for three weeks. Three whole weeks. My heart felt like it was going to burst. For five years, Yoochun had told me that he wanted to have sex with me. But he was waiting until I was older, because he wanted me to like it. He wanted to show me how much he loved me. I was determined to let him while he was here.
I barrelled into my house, on my way to change my clothes. My mother laughed at something, and I turned my head enough to see in the kitchen and then stoppd in my tracks.
A girl I didn't know sat at the table, drinking a cup of tea.
I heard Yoochun's name, and then the girl laughed, eyes sparkling, and I glowered. Only I was supposed to look like that when laughing about Yoochun. My feet moved and I walked down the hall and into the kitchen.
My mom noticed me first. "Changmin, welcome home. Did you have a good day at school?"
I grunted in response, and my eyes only left the girl's face once. Long enough to look at her hand. At the sparkle on her ring finger. Cautious, slightly angry. I tried not to jump to conclusions.
"Changmin, this is Yoojin, Yoochun's fiance."
The world rush through me, the kitchen tilted.
Yoojin smiled. "Hi. Yoochun talks about you all the time."
I said nothing. I couldn't. My mouth was open and my eyes filled with tears. I hadn't ever cried. Ever. A door shut, and a voice from my dreams and my heart whispered my name. But I did not look at Yoochun.
I spun around and almost smacked into the wall as I ran up to my room. I tripped on the stairs, trying to cover my sobs, keep them inside until I could cry in my room.
Yoochun shouted my name.
I shut my door, but I slammed it too hard and it bounced open again, and before I could shut it Yoochun was there. I screamed nonsense at him and collapsed on my bed, fingers digging into the blanket as my heart shattered, and shattered, and shattered again.
A comforting hand touched the middle of my back.
"Don't touch me," I shouted, turning my head. "Get the fuck out. Don't fucking touch me."
Yoochun frowned at me. "Minnie-ah, what ..."
"Get out! Get out! Get out!"
Yoochun sat on my bed and tried to touch my face. I pulled my hand back and punched him. He gasped in surprise as he toppled off the bed. I curled in a ball, under my blanket and muttered, "Get out!" over and over.
I shivered when fingers ran through my hair.
"I guess I deserved that," he whispered. "I'll always love you, Min. I never meant ..."
"FUCK YOU!"
After another long moment, Yoochun left my room. The door clicked shut behind him.
I didn't come out of my room for three days.
After the third day, my mom sat on my bed. "Honey, why are you so angry at Yoochun? Because he didn't tell you?"
Part of my vindictive teenage pain almost told my mom. Almost. I'd been reliving every kiss, every touch, every moment over and over in my brain.
"Yoojin is really nice. She's good for Yoochun. A family girl, with hopes of children and--"
I scoffed and shut my eyes, turning my head away.
"Yoochun wants you to be his best man," she said, voice proud.
"Yoochun can fuck off," I muttered.
She smacked my head and reprimanded me for my language.
Knuckles wrapped on the door and Yoochun peered in. I met his eyes, let him see my heartbreak, like he could miss it, and then curled away and faced my wall.
My mom sighed.
"Let me talk to him," Yoochun whispered.
She left us alone. So trusting.
Yoochun sat on my bed. I had no energy to move when he touched my shoulder. "I have to do this, Minnie-ah."
I said nothing.
He sighed in frustration and I could imagine him running his hands through his hair, biting his lower lip.
"Would you have married her if you were fucking me?" I asked.
He said nothing.
"I hate you," I whispered.
"I'm pretty mad at myself right now too."
I spun around and looked at him harshly. "How long have you been fucking her, huh? Is she pregnant?"
"No, she's not. I love her."
"You love me."
"Of course."
"So the poor thing. As soon as you're bored with her, you'll find someone new."
He shook his head. God, when had his hair gotten so long? I wanted to touch it. I really did. I wanted to curl in his lap and have him tell me this was a joke that everything was a joke.
But then something else hit me as I stared at him. His eyes so full of guilt.
"How many?" I asked.
He shook his head again.
"How many?" I asked roughly, sitting up.
The bruise on his cheek from the last time I punched him was a dark purple. I was pretty close to adding another one to it.
"Does it matter?" Yoochun asked.
I blinked and felt more tears drip down my face. "You ... you played me. The whole time."
Yoochun shrugged. "I couldn't come out and say I had a thirteen year old boyfriend, now could I?"
"I was going to let you fuck me," I said. "I ... Get out of my room. I never want to see you again."
"I understand." Yoochun made no move to leave, and I lay back down, facing away from him. I shivered as his hand landed on my hip. "I love you, Minnie-ah. I never ... I never meant--"
"To hurt me? For me to find out? Which one?"
"Hurt you. I never meant to hurt you."
"Bitch," I muttered and held my pillow tightly. The bed shifted again, and lips pressed against my cheek. I cried as he left.
I went to school the next day and got on my knees for one of the older boys. Two weeks later, I was bent over a sink, losing my virginity to my math teacher. (And if you're a pervert like I know you are and you want to read about how that happened then go ahead and try not to like it too much )
The day Yoochun and his fiance left to go back to college, I told my mom everything.
And she told Yoochun's mom.
And the marriage was cancelled, and I was shipped off to a boarding school while "the authorities" dealt with Yoochun. I don't know what that meant. He wasn't arressted, because I told my mom that I didn't want to press charges; part of me still loved him. But he fucked me over, so I did what I could to fuck him over.
I didn't mind boarding school. The teachers were smarter, they challenged me more. And my roommate's name was Jaejoong, and he didn't know what a blowjob was until I had him writhing and whimpering while I shoved his cock down my throat. (Again, I know you're a pervert, but this isn't as bad as my teacher fucking me, because Jaejoong and I are the same age. So if you want to know about my first time with Jaejoong then go ahead and enjoy it. It was pretty comical.
A/N: The link to parts two and three are up in the text
.
Pairing: Yoochun/Changmin (minor Changmin/Jaejoong)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They aren't mine.
Summary: Yoochun meant everything to me, and I thought he felt the same about me. Obviously I was wrong.
Warning: under18!Changmin, angst and no happy ending
Poster credit goes to markieyumeutau! Thank you! I love it!
Part 1:
I'm not going to bore you with details of how it started. Or make you uncomfortable with details if you're one of those people that shies away from the truth.
Park Yoochun was my neighbor. His mom and my mom were best friends. He's almost seven years older than I am, and he first kissed me when I was ten. I knew it was wrong then, I know it's wrong now, but I've been in love with him my whole life.
A few times I almost told my mom. Yoochun would have gotten into a lot of trouble. And I never told him no.
We almost got caught more times than I can count.
I have no siblings, and Yoochun has a younger brother (still older than I am). Both of our moms were so happy that I saw them as my hyungs.
It always happened the same way. Yoochun would come over after school and talk to my mom about college and his studies, and I would sit at my room, at my desk, breath short, hands clammy, listening to the rumble of their voices. Yoochun's laughter made my head light. After a few minutes, Yoochun would ask where I was and then his feet would pound up the stairs. I waited for him at my desk, or I stood up and had my shirt half off when he opened the door.
And he shut the door, locked it and a moment later we were kissing and he was touching me and sometimes we had ten minutes, other times we had a half hour.
Yoochun kissed me and touched me until I was naked and on the bed underneath him. He rarely took all his clothes off. Usually he only unbuttoned his jeans and then hovered over me, stroking himself until he came all over my body. I loved the feel of it splattering on my chest, the way his eyes shut and he bit his plump lower lip. And then he muttered my name, groaned, Changmin into the skin of my neck.
When he was done and recovered, he'd kiss me, so softly, whisper I love you and start cleaning us up. And that was until I was twelve or so. After that we got each other off.
The first time he fingered me, I was thirteen, face pressed into my pillow, muffling my moans as his fingers pumped in and out of me.
I was in heaven, walking on clouds.
When Yoochun went to college, I felt like I was dying from a broken heart, but he called and texted me and when I was home alone, he would talk dirty to me and I'd stroke off wishing he was here. He came over during his vacations.
The only good thing about him being in college was that my grades improved.
At fifteen, my world ended.
I ran home from school, jacket flying behind me. Yoochun was home for three weeks. Three whole weeks. My heart felt like it was going to burst. For five years, Yoochun had told me that he wanted to have sex with me. But he was waiting until I was older, because he wanted me to like it. He wanted to show me how much he loved me. I was determined to let him while he was here.
I barrelled into my house, on my way to change my clothes. My mother laughed at something, and I turned my head enough to see in the kitchen and then stoppd in my tracks.
A girl I didn't know sat at the table, drinking a cup of tea.
I heard Yoochun's name, and then the girl laughed, eyes sparkling, and I glowered. Only I was supposed to look like that when laughing about Yoochun. My feet moved and I walked down the hall and into the kitchen.
My mom noticed me first. "Changmin, welcome home. Did you have a good day at school?"
I grunted in response, and my eyes only left the girl's face once. Long enough to look at her hand. At the sparkle on her ring finger. Cautious, slightly angry. I tried not to jump to conclusions.
"Changmin, this is Yoojin, Yoochun's fiance."
The world rush through me, the kitchen tilted.
Yoojin smiled. "Hi. Yoochun talks about you all the time."
I said nothing. I couldn't. My mouth was open and my eyes filled with tears. I hadn't ever cried. Ever. A door shut, and a voice from my dreams and my heart whispered my name. But I did not look at Yoochun.
I spun around and almost smacked into the wall as I ran up to my room. I tripped on the stairs, trying to cover my sobs, keep them inside until I could cry in my room.
Yoochun shouted my name.
I shut my door, but I slammed it too hard and it bounced open again, and before I could shut it Yoochun was there. I screamed nonsense at him and collapsed on my bed, fingers digging into the blanket as my heart shattered, and shattered, and shattered again.
A comforting hand touched the middle of my back.
"Don't touch me," I shouted, turning my head. "Get the fuck out. Don't fucking touch me."
Yoochun frowned at me. "Minnie-ah, what ..."
"Get out! Get out! Get out!"
Yoochun sat on my bed and tried to touch my face. I pulled my hand back and punched him. He gasped in surprise as he toppled off the bed. I curled in a ball, under my blanket and muttered, "Get out!" over and over.
I shivered when fingers ran through my hair.
"I guess I deserved that," he whispered. "I'll always love you, Min. I never meant ..."
"FUCK YOU!"
After another long moment, Yoochun left my room. The door clicked shut behind him.
I didn't come out of my room for three days.
After the third day, my mom sat on my bed. "Honey, why are you so angry at Yoochun? Because he didn't tell you?"
Part of my vindictive teenage pain almost told my mom. Almost. I'd been reliving every kiss, every touch, every moment over and over in my brain.
"Yoojin is really nice. She's good for Yoochun. A family girl, with hopes of children and--"
I scoffed and shut my eyes, turning my head away.
"Yoochun wants you to be his best man," she said, voice proud.
"Yoochun can fuck off," I muttered.
She smacked my head and reprimanded me for my language.
Knuckles wrapped on the door and Yoochun peered in. I met his eyes, let him see my heartbreak, like he could miss it, and then curled away and faced my wall.
My mom sighed.
"Let me talk to him," Yoochun whispered.
She left us alone. So trusting.
Yoochun sat on my bed. I had no energy to move when he touched my shoulder. "I have to do this, Minnie-ah."
I said nothing.
He sighed in frustration and I could imagine him running his hands through his hair, biting his lower lip.
"Would you have married her if you were fucking me?" I asked.
He said nothing.
"I hate you," I whispered.
"I'm pretty mad at myself right now too."
I spun around and looked at him harshly. "How long have you been fucking her, huh? Is she pregnant?"
"No, she's not. I love her."
"You love me."
"Of course."
"So the poor thing. As soon as you're bored with her, you'll find someone new."
He shook his head. God, when had his hair gotten so long? I wanted to touch it. I really did. I wanted to curl in his lap and have him tell me this was a joke that everything was a joke.
But then something else hit me as I stared at him. His eyes so full of guilt.
"How many?" I asked.
He shook his head again.
"How many?" I asked roughly, sitting up.
The bruise on his cheek from the last time I punched him was a dark purple. I was pretty close to adding another one to it.
"Does it matter?" Yoochun asked.
I blinked and felt more tears drip down my face. "You ... you played me. The whole time."
Yoochun shrugged. "I couldn't come out and say I had a thirteen year old boyfriend, now could I?"
"I was going to let you fuck me," I said. "I ... Get out of my room. I never want to see you again."
"I understand." Yoochun made no move to leave, and I lay back down, facing away from him. I shivered as his hand landed on my hip. "I love you, Minnie-ah. I never ... I never meant--"
"To hurt me? For me to find out? Which one?"
"Hurt you. I never meant to hurt you."
"Bitch," I muttered and held my pillow tightly. The bed shifted again, and lips pressed against my cheek. I cried as he left.
I went to school the next day and got on my knees for one of the older boys. Two weeks later, I was bent over a sink, losing my virginity to my math teacher. (And if you're a pervert like I know you are and you want to read about how that happened then go ahead and try not to like it too much )
The day Yoochun and his fiance left to go back to college, I told my mom everything.
And she told Yoochun's mom.
And the marriage was cancelled, and I was shipped off to a boarding school while "the authorities" dealt with Yoochun. I don't know what that meant. He wasn't arressted, because I told my mom that I didn't want to press charges; part of me still loved him. But he fucked me over, so I did what I could to fuck him over.
I didn't mind boarding school. The teachers were smarter, they challenged me more. And my roommate's name was Jaejoong, and he didn't know what a blowjob was until I had him writhing and whimpering while I shoved his cock down my throat. (Again, I know you're a pervert, but this isn't as bad as my teacher fucking me, because Jaejoong and I are the same age. So if you want to know about my first time with Jaejoong then go ahead and enjoy it. It was pretty comical.
A/N: The link to parts two and three are up in the text
.