Toy Of My Life 2/3
Title: Toy of My Life 2/3
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yunho (implied Jaejoong/GDragon, Yunho/GDragon)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Once again, they are not mine to own or purchase or play with.
Summary: When I bought U-know, I thought it was just another purchase. I always had a bad habit of growing attached to my toys, but I have never fallen in love with one.
WARNING: underage!Yunho (Jaejoong is 29, Yunho is 17, and GDragon is 14[but smut with him is only implied])
A/N: This is a companion fic to Toy With My Heart
Poster credit goes to haleycp! Thank you! ♥
Part 2:
U-know took to his training very well. There were things I expected him to do that Jihoon already taught him to do, like crawling. Some toys have such a hard time with that. Jihoon’s initial introduction to me also proved correct: U-know could suck cock like a vacuum. I only had to teach him how to add finesse to a blow job. How to tease and draw out pleasure. He did so well, that I let him practice on my cock every day. It was such a hardship on my part.
The first time I had sex with him (almost three weeks after I bought him), he was so surprised to have an orgasm without pain that he cried afterward. He admitted that he hadn’t felt anything like that before. From the first time he was taken (by Jihoon the day he was purchased) to the day I walked in Jihoon’s office, he’d been in some type of pain.
I taught him how to properly use the toys Jihoon had tortured him with. That had been an interesting night. I never let my toys restrain me, but I ended up blindfolded with my hands tied to my headboard. U-know had coerced an orgasm from me with his fingers and mouth, and then pulled two more from me as he rode me for what felt like hours before he finally splattered my chest with come. Definitely an interesting night.
As pretty much everyone expected, my Dragon picked U-know to have sex with on his birthday, and it was the first time I really heard U-know laugh. My Dragon was so much fun to play with in bed and I let them play for much longer than normal. Normally, I allowed them one orgasm a piece in anyway they wished to get it, but I enjoyed watching them so much, that my Dragon had come three times from U-know fucking him before I stopped them.
A few customers had taken an interest in my Dragon, but I refused to sell him , and they bought another toy. I prided myself on pairing the right person with the right toy. And the men interested had only wanted him for his beauty, not for his personality or his energy.
I felt bad for my Dragon, because he wanted an owner so badly. I hated telling him that the man wasn’t good enough for him.
“You’re perfect, my Dragon,” I said. “The man who takes you has to be perfect too.”
“But, master, he bought Angel!”
“That’s because he was perfect for Angel. Don’t be greedy, my Dragon. I’ll find the right one for you.”
He pouted and I kissed his lips.
“I’m sorry, master. I just want …”
I smiled and picked him up, cradling him in my lap. “I know. But can’t I keep you for a little longer?”
He giggled when my fingertips traced his hip bones. He threw his arms around my shoulders and said, “I’m sorry, master. I’m happy with you. You know I am. I don’t mean to sound so ungrateful, master.”
“I know, my Dragon. Come on, I left our U-know in the bathtub. Let’s go make sure he’s clean and then get him dirty again.”
My Dragon laughed and bounded off my lap. He crawled in front of me and I frowned, following after him. I knew I would find someone for him soon. But most of me did not want to.
---
One of my least favorite aspects to my company was the networking meetings. I loved wearing an expensive suit and eating sushi and drinking champagne, but the double speak and business jargon usually made my head spin. I went because it was these men who kept me in business.
“Jaejoong-shi!”
I turned to the sound of my name and smiled as Shim Changsung waved me over to his table. The Shim Family chaebol owned about a third of the Korean financial financial district. Next to him was a younger boy who had to be his son. He was introduced to me as Shim Changmin, twenty-two, intelligent, holder of an MBA and a Bachelor’s degree in International Trade and Economics. He’d studied in Japan, the United States and London before returning home.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t mind showing my son your merchandise,” Changsung-shi said to me.
I noted the concealed distaste on the young man’s face. “I would be honored, Changsung-shi. Is tomorrow morning convenient for you, Changmin-shi?”
Changmin-shi took a deep breath and then nodded. “That would be wonderful.”
Such a good little liar, but I instantly liked him. I wondered if he hated me for what I did or just hated what I did. It didn’t matter. Showing him around would let him see that I did not mistreat my toys. It was common for those who had been abroad to be upset with this particular system in South Korea, but other countries were worse.
Another man requested my attention and I gave Changmin-shi my card.
The next morning, the look on his face wasn’t so constrained, and he grimaced in anger when I opened the door. I knew he would, so that’s why I had both my Dragon and my handsome U-know on leashes behind me, and both of them naked. I held out the end of my Dragon’s leash, and Shim Changmin-shi looked like I had told him to eat a cup of bugs mixed with arsenic.
“No, thank you,” he said, lip curling.
I saw my Dragon pout. I patted his head and then said, “Follow me, Changmin-shi, let me show you around.”
“I’d rather not. I’m only here because my father--”
“Yes, I’m aware of that, but you still need to see that it’s not as horrible as you think it is.”
“You own people. And then sell them, how is that not what I think it is?”
“Master?” my Dragon whispered. He was shaking.
I kneeled down and cupped his cheek. “What’s wrong, my Dragon?”
“I … he doesn’t want me. Why don’t they want me?”
I looked up at Changmin and saw a bit of guilt in his eyes.
“I told you yesterday that someone would want you, and I’m not going to sell you to just anyone. Changmin-shi doesn’t want a toy at all. He’s only here on business from his father.”
I kissed his pout away, and said, “Come on. You and my handsome U-know can go play in the pool while Changmin and I talk.”
As we walked, I told Changmin about the dorms and the handlers and the exercises. His face grew more and more confused as I led him through the play area, the gym and then finally to the swimming pool. I unleashed my two toys and told them to go play. They fell in the water with each other and decided that U-know would carry my Dragon around like a merman. Changmin and I sat on plastic pool chairs.
“You look confused.”
He shook his head.
“You’ve been to other toy facilities before?” I asked.
He nodded once. “This … this is …”
“It’s why I charge so much for my toys, Changmin-shi. They aren’t just sex slaves. They are taught to cook and clean and massage as well as how to suck a cock and come on command.”
“Dragon is very young.”
“He’s fourteen, which is the age of most of my toys when I sell them.”
“But U-know …”
“He’s almost eighteen.”
His eyes widened in shock, and then he scowled. “He’s been whipped.”
“Not by me. His previous owner was incredibly sadistic. I take care of my toys, Changmin-shi. You don’t have to agree with the profession, but as a businessman, do you see the profit in it?”
“And you make a profit?”
“Yes. I purchased my Dragon for about eighty thousand. His price right now is a hundred and fifty.”
“He … but no one wants him?”
I smiled. “Oh, on the contrary. A lot of men want him. I had an offer last week of almost two hundred grand when I refused to sell him. But I won’t just sell my toys to whoever shows an interest. They have to be perfect for each other.”
“So it’s a fucked up form of matchmaking.”
I laughed. “So it is.”
“What if you don’t find a buyer for U-know before he’s eighteen?”
I frowned and looked at my toys playing in the pool. “It’s his choice. He can leave if he wants.”
“You allow them to leave when they’re eighteen?”
“That’s the law, Changmin-shi. I obey all the laws.”
He opened his mouth and then shut it again.
“I know a lot of places don’t, but I do. That’s why I charge so much. And that’s why you did not see any kennels, no cages, no torture rooms. I expect my clients to treat my toys as I treat them. It’s written in the contract I make them sign. When you’re with a toy for even a few months, training them, fucking them, worshiping them, you grow a little attached. I want to make sure that the client is going to love them and take care of them just as much as I do. Are you sure you don’t want one?”
He stuck his tongue out in distaste. “Yeah, no.”
“Okay. Come on. I’ll treat you to dinner.” I called my two toys out of the water, and they climbed out willingly and dried each other off. I noticed how Changmin’s eyes lingered on U-know’s body. I smirked. Maybe Changmin did want a toy, just not one so young. The age difference between them wasn’t too great. My U-know was not ready to be purchased just yet, but I’d think on it a bit more, and maybe let U-know and Changmin get more acquainted on a later date.
---
Over the next couple of months, Changmin became a constant at the dormitories, my office and my house when I was actually there. I’d never come out and ask him why, but I think it was to calm his own conscious, work out a few of his own thoughts, and then we became friends. I also realized that he was not good for U-know, because Changmin did not want a toy. He got along well with U-know, and did not mind if U-know curled up at his feet or massaged his back. I enjoyed the lunch hours I spent with Changmin and we talked of business and politics and sports. His love life. Or the lack thereof. Men were more than willing to jump into bed with him. But they were always after his money.
U-know’s eighteenth birthday approached faster than I wanted it to. I grew nervous as each day added another one to it. But I still did not put him on the market. I was reluctant, since he was so old. It would be so hard to find someone so quickly. But in November, I could not longer put it off. U-know was trained as if he’d been here for two year and not just six months.
There were offers for him almost immediately. His price was low due to his age, but the gleam in some men’s eyes brought out the protective streak in me. Some I did not even allow to touch him.
The thought of U-know with someone else kept me up at night. I had to sell him soon, for his sake. I didn’t want him to feel unwanted.
One night, close to Christmas, I watched him sleep. I’d been doing that a lot lately. Many people noticed the heavy bags under my eyes, the unusual amount of coffee and alcohol I was drinking.
I knew I shouldn’t. I knew I wasn’t taking care of myself, but when I thought of selling U-know, my insides spun, leaving me breathless and nauseous.
Worry. I only worried about finding a proper owner for him before he was eighteen. That was all.
Or so I led myself to believe.
I touched him carefully, and only on his shoulder or chest, in places that would not wake him up. I could not stop touching him.
On my other side, my Dragon stirred, jerked and then sat up with a gasp. I rolled over and gathered him in my arms.
“Are you all right, my Dragon?” I whispered.
He buried his face in my neck and climbed into my lap. I sat up enough to prop us up against the headboard.
“Yes, master, just … nightmare.”
“About what?”
He shivered.
“Talking about your nightmares always helps.”
He shook his head and said, “It’s stupid, and …”
“Tell me, my Dragon.”
“No one bought me. No one. Ever. And I … I was running and it was dark and people touched me but it wasn’t nice and I fell and there was someone laughing, and …” His lower lip quivered and he looked at me, almost crying. “You were laughing at me, master,” he finished in a pained whisper. He blinked and the tears that had gathered at the edges of his eyes fell.
“Oh, my Dragon.” I held him close as he tried to muffle his sobs and not wake U-know up. “I would never do that. You know that.”
“I know, master. It … It was so scary. I want someone to buy me so much.”
“I know. Soon, my Dragon. Soon.”
He huffed in frustration and pushed away from me. “Why can’t you-“ He bit his lip and looked away from my stern look. “Sorry, master. I just … I don’t want …” He looked at U-know, still sleeping.
“You won’t be here until you’re eighteen, my Dragon.”
“What … what if I am? Then what?”
“Then you may stay here with me.”
“Is that what U-know is going to do?”
I glanced at my handsome toy and sighed. “I don’t know. He can leave if I don’t sell him soon.”
“I don’t think he will. He loves you.”
I flipped my gaze to my Dragon quickly. It was forbidden to speak of love, because love meant commitment, and my toys knew better than that. “What?”
He winced, like he’d said too much and he knew that he had. “N-nothing, master.”
“Did U-know say that?”
“N-no, but … He just-he looks at you all the time, master, and smiles at you all the time, and Aiden says that’s what Hyukkie does and he says that Hyukkie loves him and--” He shut his mouth quickly, now thinking he’d gotten the other two in trouble.
I smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t think U-know loves me, my Dragon. He’s probably just happy that he is no longer being abused.”
“Do you love him, master?”
I lowered my eyes at the innocent question. My Dragon did not understand love the way that love was supposed to be. Loving a toy and loving a person were just different things. I tried to make them the same. It’s what I did when I paired an owner with a toy. Maybe I was deluding myself. Love was not forbidden, but calling it love was. Did I love my handsome toy? The answer to that question was yes, because I loved him like I loved all my toys.
But did I love him as a person and not as a toy?
Nothing made sense suddenly.
I ran my fingers over my handsome U-know’s cheek. “Yes, my Dragon, I love him.”
“But it’s different than how you love me, right, master? It’s how Hyukkie and Aiden love each other?”
I knew I could not make my Dragon understand, so I nodded.
My Dragon squealed and then shut up quickly, hiding his smile behind his hand. “Then that means he doesn’t have to go away and you don’t have to sell him, master.”
I opened my mouth and then shut it, shaking my head. “No, that’s not what it means, my Dragon. I still need to find the perfect owner for him.”
He frowned, face scrunched up, thinking. “But, master, you find owners to love us like you love us and if you love U-know-hyung more than that, then …”
“That’s enough, my Dragon,” I said sharply, because he was making me think things that I was not supposed to think.
He inhaled sharply, lower lip quivering from my tone. I apologized quickly and kissed him until he was smiling again.
“Go back to sleep, my Dragon.”
He frowned. “Why don’t you sleep anymore, master?”
I shook my head. “I will. I promise.”
“Okay. Can I sleep by U-know-hyung, master?”
“Yes, my darling Dragon, you can.”
My Dragon kissed my cheek and then carefully climbed over U-know. He resettled, and then U-know turned over, spooning against him, leaving me alone. My heart filled with pain for a moment, and then I sighed and tried to get comfortable, molded against U-know’s back. My arm went around his waist and my fingers tangled with my Dragon’s.
U-know was my charge, my responsibility. I was supposed to find him a good home with a kind owner. I was not supposed to fall in love with him.
---
Christmas was the only other time that my toys were allowed to fuck each other. Okay, fine. I will admit that I held a massive orgy. With sex as the norm, it was natural to use it as a gift for Christmas.
Our “parties” were held in the main gym, and I hired a team of decorators to fill the place with pillows and lights and streamers. This year’s theme was a tropical island. So even though there was almost three feet of snow outside, we lounged naked on beaches with overhead lamps making the room warm. There was even an area full of salt water to imitate the ocean.
Even though many of the handlers and toys wanted him, my U-know stayed by my side through most of the day. I tried not to think about it, thinking only that it was U-know’s first party and he was a little intimidated. But he smiled and laughed and played with some of the other toys, so yet again, it was only a delusion on my part.
At the new year, I always assigned my handlers to different toys. It kept them from getting attached. I made an exception for my Dragon since he would be sold soon, and also for my handsome toy. That one I rationalized as him being almost eighteen, but deep inside, I knew it was just because I didn’t want anyone else to touch him.
I knew these feelings and recognized them, but I tried to deny them and never admitted to myself my true feelings.
I was in my office on a Saturday. For the first time in six years, I forgot about my quarterly tax report. It was due on Monday. My birthday was in one week, and in order to keep them separate celebrations (another rationalization) I told U-know his birthday would be a week after that.
Two weeks, I had two weeks left with him.
Already upset, and still tired from a prolonged lack of sleep, it was no wonder that I forgot about the irritation of national taxes.
I had U-know with me. He sat on the floor by my chair. His fingers curled around my calf muscle, his head rested against my thigh. But that small reminder of what I was going to lose caused even more pain.
“Master,” U-know said.
“Yes, my handsome darling?” I’d started calling him that without realizing it.
“You keep sighing, master. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
I smiled down at him and ran my fingers through his hair. “No. Just kicking myself for forgetting about this.”
“I’m sorry, master. I’m too distracting.”
I let out a bark of surprised laughter and then leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I grinned seeing the display as “Yamapi-san”. I answered quickly and said hello in Japanese.
“Jaejoong! What is up, my friend?”
“Not much. At the office because I was stupid.”
“Sweet. How much longer are you going to be there?”
“A long time. Why?”
“Oh, I might be in town.”
“Really! Great. I’ll have the doorman let you in.”
“I brought a friend. A really excellent guy. He’s interested in purchasing something for you since I’ve been singing your praises for a couple of years.”
“All right. I’ll see how it goes when you get here.”
“Good. Be there in a few.”
I gnawed on my lower lip. I did not mind meeting strange people, I met them all the time, and this guy was a friend of Yamapi’s and I trusted Yamapi with my life. The feeling low in my stomach should have been called paranoia, but I pushed it aside as not eating enough. Concentrating on the numbers in front of me was even more difficult.
Yamapi and his friend showed up about twenty minutes later. With a flourish and a bow, Yamapi presented a latte to me.
“Oh, thank god,” I said, in English, and then continued in Japanese. “Thank you, friend. I really need this.”
“Dude,” he asked, sitting in one of my office chairs. The other man sat in the other. “What is wrong with you? You look like shit, and you’re supposed to look perfect.”
“It’s been a stressful couple of months.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
Yamapi smirked at me and then said, “Jaejoong, this is Miyavi. He’s a business associate, a music producer in Tokyo. We’re in Korea for a little business of finding cute rocker boys to have a little pleasure with.”
I laughed and said hello to him. Miyavi was tall, definitely taller than me, but willowy. Scrawny. He wore white pants with laces on the sides. They were tied so the pants his at his mid-calf, the rest billowing on his thighs. He wore only a fishnet shirt under his unzipped hoody. His long hair was hidden in a hat, but I could see different chunks of blond and black. Tattoos and piercings littered his body. Lip, nose, nipple, that I could see.
“I see bare feet on the floor,” Yamapi said. “Who do you have sucking on your cock right now?”
I rolled my eyes and put my hand on Yunho’s shoulder, signifying that he should climb in my lap. He did easily, arms going around my neck. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “This is U-know,” I said in Korean. “U-know, this is Yamapi and Miyavi. They are Japanese.”
U-know suddenly turned shy, almost like a younger toy. He bit his lower lip and then bowed his head and said, “Konnichiwa, Yamapi-sama, Miyavi-sama. I am pleased to meet you.”
I watched Miyavi. His eyes absolutely gleamed. Not with lust or anger, but … anticipation. I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not.
“You never bring your toys to your office,” Yamapi said.
“I know, but I had been in the middle of something with my handsome darling and then quite suddenly remembered that I had quarterly taxes due.”
“Oops.”
“Yeah.”
“So what are your plans for the weekend?”
I looked at Yamapi like he was stupid. “Um, you’re looking at them.”
He leered. “Gonna fuck your toy all weekend?”
“Um, no.”
“Good, then we can.”
I glared at him. “You most definitely cannot.”
“Oh, come on, JaeJae. Miyavi is a prospective client. Don’t you want to make him happy?”
I smiled at Miyavi. “Yamapi told you my rules, I hope?”
“Yes, he did.”
I stuck my tongue out at Yamapi. “Stop trying to get a free fuck.”
Yamapi made a face. “What’s up with this one anyway? He seems older.”
I pressed a kiss to my handsome darling’s cheek. “He’s almost eighteen.”
“Wow. No takers?”
“Not the right taker. I’ve only had him on sale for a few weeks.”
“Would you allow me a closer look?” Miyavi asked, eyes raking down U-know bare torso and the tight black shorts he was currently wearing.
I felt my arms tighten around him. I could not keep him. I knew that. I sighed and nodded. “Miyavi wants to see you up close,” I said to U-know in Korean. “Go on, my handsome darling. Go say hello.”
Yunho slid down to the floor and crawled around the desk. He kept his eyes up, on Miyavi. The Japanese man smiled widely. U-know sat back, head tilted to the side, waiting instructions from Miyavi. Slender fingers caressed U-know’s cheek before trailing down his neck to his collar bones.
“You call him handsome,” Miyavi said, voice awed. “Fitting for this one.”
“He doesn’t speak Japanese,” I said quickly.
“I speak Korean,” Miyavi said, in Korean. “Hello, U-know-shi.”
U-know’s mouth opened and then he covered it with his hand and almost giggled. He’d been spending too much time with my Dragon. “Hello, Miyavi-sama. I’ve never been called ‘shi’ before.”
“It’s respectful with someone you just met, correct?”
U-know nodded and moved a little closer. I saw the signs in his face and body. The barely concealed excitement in possibly having an owner.
A sharp pain shot through my chest as Miyavi touched my handsome toy’s face again, and U-know moved next to him, hands on his leg. I looked at my paperwork and tried to blink away the blurriness.
Too attached to this one. Way too attached.
I knew it, and I could not help it.
To distract myself, I asked Yamapi about my friends in Japan. We laughed and talked for almost two hours. I slowly relaxed, but only because I was forcing myself not to look at Miyavi petting my toy. Not to listen to their quiet whispers.
This was not fair to U-know, not at all. I felt that Miyavi was not a good match for U-know, but I could not pinpoint why, and I wondered if it was my own feelings clouding my judgment. Or the lack of sleep. The lack of real food. Too much coffee.
At one am, realizing I was getting no work done, I moaned and put my head on the table. “Maybe I’ll just file for an extension this month. I’ve never been late before.”
“Naw, you’ll get them done tomorrow. You need to sleep.”
I nodded. “Do you guys have a hotel, or do you want to stay at the dorms?”
Yamapi’s eyes lit up. “The dorms. God, please.”
“Keep your hands off my toys, Yamapi.”
Yamapi grinned. “Then you’ll fuck me?”
I rolled my eyes. “Been there, done that. No thanks. But I’m sure I can arrange for a pair of pretty lips to wrap around your cock.”
“Fuck yes!” Yamapi said with a groan.
Miyavi laughed at him. To me, he said, “We will get a hotel. We do not want to impose when you have so much work to do.”
“Yes, we do,” Yamapi muttered.
I smiled at Miyavi. It was a bit strained, because he still had his fingers running through my handsome darling’s hair. “It’s not an imposition. We’ll go now. Did you take a cab here?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go. My limo is waiting outside, and I can’t concentrate anymore anyway.” I stood up and pondered my toy for a moment. The pain through my body was worse, my breath gone, everything blurred: I handed U-know’s leash to Miyavi. This was for the best. It was.
I kneeled down and hooked it to U-know’s collar. He smiled at me, happy, and I tried to smile back. I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and then stood up. I kept my face blank as I watched him rub against Miyavi’s thigh.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Yamapi said. “I need lips around my cock.”
---
I finished my tax papers on Sunday. And I only did that because I locked myself in my office for eight hours. Alone. No further distractions. I couldn’t really see straight when I was done. I dropped the manila envelope at my accountant’s office. He’d double check everything and make sure I didn’t transpose numbers.
Yamapi and Miyavi stayed at the dorms for two days. I allowed them to play with my toys because Miyavi was a prospective client. They were not allowed to fuck them, but Yamapi’s cock was going to be permanently bruised from all the sucking. Miyavi had taken a liking to my handsome darling, and it hurt every time I saw U-know smile up at him.
Part 3: Kiss Me
Part 1: Heal Me
.
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yunho (implied Jaejoong/GDragon, Yunho/GDragon)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Once again, they are not mine to own or purchase or play with.
Summary: When I bought U-know, I thought it was just another purchase. I always had a bad habit of growing attached to my toys, but I have never fallen in love with one.
WARNING: underage!Yunho (Jaejoong is 29, Yunho is 17, and GDragon is 14[but smut with him is only implied])
A/N: This is a companion fic to Toy With My Heart
Poster credit goes to haleycp! Thank you! ♥
Part 2:
U-know took to his training very well. There were things I expected him to do that Jihoon already taught him to do, like crawling. Some toys have such a hard time with that. Jihoon’s initial introduction to me also proved correct: U-know could suck cock like a vacuum. I only had to teach him how to add finesse to a blow job. How to tease and draw out pleasure. He did so well, that I let him practice on my cock every day. It was such a hardship on my part.
The first time I had sex with him (almost three weeks after I bought him), he was so surprised to have an orgasm without pain that he cried afterward. He admitted that he hadn’t felt anything like that before. From the first time he was taken (by Jihoon the day he was purchased) to the day I walked in Jihoon’s office, he’d been in some type of pain.
I taught him how to properly use the toys Jihoon had tortured him with. That had been an interesting night. I never let my toys restrain me, but I ended up blindfolded with my hands tied to my headboard. U-know had coerced an orgasm from me with his fingers and mouth, and then pulled two more from me as he rode me for what felt like hours before he finally splattered my chest with come. Definitely an interesting night.
As pretty much everyone expected, my Dragon picked U-know to have sex with on his birthday, and it was the first time I really heard U-know laugh. My Dragon was so much fun to play with in bed and I let them play for much longer than normal. Normally, I allowed them one orgasm a piece in anyway they wished to get it, but I enjoyed watching them so much, that my Dragon had come three times from U-know fucking him before I stopped them.
A few customers had taken an interest in my Dragon, but I refused to sell him , and they bought another toy. I prided myself on pairing the right person with the right toy. And the men interested had only wanted him for his beauty, not for his personality or his energy.
I felt bad for my Dragon, because he wanted an owner so badly. I hated telling him that the man wasn’t good enough for him.
“You’re perfect, my Dragon,” I said. “The man who takes you has to be perfect too.”
“But, master, he bought Angel!”
“That’s because he was perfect for Angel. Don’t be greedy, my Dragon. I’ll find the right one for you.”
He pouted and I kissed his lips.
“I’m sorry, master. I just want …”
I smiled and picked him up, cradling him in my lap. “I know. But can’t I keep you for a little longer?”
He giggled when my fingertips traced his hip bones. He threw his arms around my shoulders and said, “I’m sorry, master. I’m happy with you. You know I am. I don’t mean to sound so ungrateful, master.”
“I know, my Dragon. Come on, I left our U-know in the bathtub. Let’s go make sure he’s clean and then get him dirty again.”
My Dragon laughed and bounded off my lap. He crawled in front of me and I frowned, following after him. I knew I would find someone for him soon. But most of me did not want to.
---
One of my least favorite aspects to my company was the networking meetings. I loved wearing an expensive suit and eating sushi and drinking champagne, but the double speak and business jargon usually made my head spin. I went because it was these men who kept me in business.
“Jaejoong-shi!”
I turned to the sound of my name and smiled as Shim Changsung waved me over to his table. The Shim Family chaebol owned about a third of the Korean financial financial district. Next to him was a younger boy who had to be his son. He was introduced to me as Shim Changmin, twenty-two, intelligent, holder of an MBA and a Bachelor’s degree in International Trade and Economics. He’d studied in Japan, the United States and London before returning home.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t mind showing my son your merchandise,” Changsung-shi said to me.
I noted the concealed distaste on the young man’s face. “I would be honored, Changsung-shi. Is tomorrow morning convenient for you, Changmin-shi?”
Changmin-shi took a deep breath and then nodded. “That would be wonderful.”
Such a good little liar, but I instantly liked him. I wondered if he hated me for what I did or just hated what I did. It didn’t matter. Showing him around would let him see that I did not mistreat my toys. It was common for those who had been abroad to be upset with this particular system in South Korea, but other countries were worse.
Another man requested my attention and I gave Changmin-shi my card.
The next morning, the look on his face wasn’t so constrained, and he grimaced in anger when I opened the door. I knew he would, so that’s why I had both my Dragon and my handsome U-know on leashes behind me, and both of them naked. I held out the end of my Dragon’s leash, and Shim Changmin-shi looked like I had told him to eat a cup of bugs mixed with arsenic.
“No, thank you,” he said, lip curling.
I saw my Dragon pout. I patted his head and then said, “Follow me, Changmin-shi, let me show you around.”
“I’d rather not. I’m only here because my father--”
“Yes, I’m aware of that, but you still need to see that it’s not as horrible as you think it is.”
“You own people. And then sell them, how is that not what I think it is?”
“Master?” my Dragon whispered. He was shaking.
I kneeled down and cupped his cheek. “What’s wrong, my Dragon?”
“I … he doesn’t want me. Why don’t they want me?”
I looked up at Changmin and saw a bit of guilt in his eyes.
“I told you yesterday that someone would want you, and I’m not going to sell you to just anyone. Changmin-shi doesn’t want a toy at all. He’s only here on business from his father.”
I kissed his pout away, and said, “Come on. You and my handsome U-know can go play in the pool while Changmin and I talk.”
As we walked, I told Changmin about the dorms and the handlers and the exercises. His face grew more and more confused as I led him through the play area, the gym and then finally to the swimming pool. I unleashed my two toys and told them to go play. They fell in the water with each other and decided that U-know would carry my Dragon around like a merman. Changmin and I sat on plastic pool chairs.
“You look confused.”
He shook his head.
“You’ve been to other toy facilities before?” I asked.
He nodded once. “This … this is …”
“It’s why I charge so much for my toys, Changmin-shi. They aren’t just sex slaves. They are taught to cook and clean and massage as well as how to suck a cock and come on command.”
“Dragon is very young.”
“He’s fourteen, which is the age of most of my toys when I sell them.”
“But U-know …”
“He’s almost eighteen.”
His eyes widened in shock, and then he scowled. “He’s been whipped.”
“Not by me. His previous owner was incredibly sadistic. I take care of my toys, Changmin-shi. You don’t have to agree with the profession, but as a businessman, do you see the profit in it?”
“And you make a profit?”
“Yes. I purchased my Dragon for about eighty thousand. His price right now is a hundred and fifty.”
“He … but no one wants him?”
I smiled. “Oh, on the contrary. A lot of men want him. I had an offer last week of almost two hundred grand when I refused to sell him. But I won’t just sell my toys to whoever shows an interest. They have to be perfect for each other.”
“So it’s a fucked up form of matchmaking.”
I laughed. “So it is.”
“What if you don’t find a buyer for U-know before he’s eighteen?”
I frowned and looked at my toys playing in the pool. “It’s his choice. He can leave if he wants.”
“You allow them to leave when they’re eighteen?”
“That’s the law, Changmin-shi. I obey all the laws.”
He opened his mouth and then shut it again.
“I know a lot of places don’t, but I do. That’s why I charge so much. And that’s why you did not see any kennels, no cages, no torture rooms. I expect my clients to treat my toys as I treat them. It’s written in the contract I make them sign. When you’re with a toy for even a few months, training them, fucking them, worshiping them, you grow a little attached. I want to make sure that the client is going to love them and take care of them just as much as I do. Are you sure you don’t want one?”
He stuck his tongue out in distaste. “Yeah, no.”
“Okay. Come on. I’ll treat you to dinner.” I called my two toys out of the water, and they climbed out willingly and dried each other off. I noticed how Changmin’s eyes lingered on U-know’s body. I smirked. Maybe Changmin did want a toy, just not one so young. The age difference between them wasn’t too great. My U-know was not ready to be purchased just yet, but I’d think on it a bit more, and maybe let U-know and Changmin get more acquainted on a later date.
---
Over the next couple of months, Changmin became a constant at the dormitories, my office and my house when I was actually there. I’d never come out and ask him why, but I think it was to calm his own conscious, work out a few of his own thoughts, and then we became friends. I also realized that he was not good for U-know, because Changmin did not want a toy. He got along well with U-know, and did not mind if U-know curled up at his feet or massaged his back. I enjoyed the lunch hours I spent with Changmin and we talked of business and politics and sports. His love life. Or the lack thereof. Men were more than willing to jump into bed with him. But they were always after his money.
U-know’s eighteenth birthday approached faster than I wanted it to. I grew nervous as each day added another one to it. But I still did not put him on the market. I was reluctant, since he was so old. It would be so hard to find someone so quickly. But in November, I could not longer put it off. U-know was trained as if he’d been here for two year and not just six months.
There were offers for him almost immediately. His price was low due to his age, but the gleam in some men’s eyes brought out the protective streak in me. Some I did not even allow to touch him.
The thought of U-know with someone else kept me up at night. I had to sell him soon, for his sake. I didn’t want him to feel unwanted.
One night, close to Christmas, I watched him sleep. I’d been doing that a lot lately. Many people noticed the heavy bags under my eyes, the unusual amount of coffee and alcohol I was drinking.
I knew I shouldn’t. I knew I wasn’t taking care of myself, but when I thought of selling U-know, my insides spun, leaving me breathless and nauseous.
Worry. I only worried about finding a proper owner for him before he was eighteen. That was all.
Or so I led myself to believe.
I touched him carefully, and only on his shoulder or chest, in places that would not wake him up. I could not stop touching him.
On my other side, my Dragon stirred, jerked and then sat up with a gasp. I rolled over and gathered him in my arms.
“Are you all right, my Dragon?” I whispered.
He buried his face in my neck and climbed into my lap. I sat up enough to prop us up against the headboard.
“Yes, master, just … nightmare.”
“About what?”
He shivered.
“Talking about your nightmares always helps.”
He shook his head and said, “It’s stupid, and …”
“Tell me, my Dragon.”
“No one bought me. No one. Ever. And I … I was running and it was dark and people touched me but it wasn’t nice and I fell and there was someone laughing, and …” His lower lip quivered and he looked at me, almost crying. “You were laughing at me, master,” he finished in a pained whisper. He blinked and the tears that had gathered at the edges of his eyes fell.
“Oh, my Dragon.” I held him close as he tried to muffle his sobs and not wake U-know up. “I would never do that. You know that.”
“I know, master. It … It was so scary. I want someone to buy me so much.”
“I know. Soon, my Dragon. Soon.”
He huffed in frustration and pushed away from me. “Why can’t you-“ He bit his lip and looked away from my stern look. “Sorry, master. I just … I don’t want …” He looked at U-know, still sleeping.
“You won’t be here until you’re eighteen, my Dragon.”
“What … what if I am? Then what?”
“Then you may stay here with me.”
“Is that what U-know is going to do?”
I glanced at my handsome toy and sighed. “I don’t know. He can leave if I don’t sell him soon.”
“I don’t think he will. He loves you.”
I flipped my gaze to my Dragon quickly. It was forbidden to speak of love, because love meant commitment, and my toys knew better than that. “What?”
He winced, like he’d said too much and he knew that he had. “N-nothing, master.”
“Did U-know say that?”
“N-no, but … He just-he looks at you all the time, master, and smiles at you all the time, and Aiden says that’s what Hyukkie does and he says that Hyukkie loves him and--” He shut his mouth quickly, now thinking he’d gotten the other two in trouble.
I smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t think U-know loves me, my Dragon. He’s probably just happy that he is no longer being abused.”
“Do you love him, master?”
I lowered my eyes at the innocent question. My Dragon did not understand love the way that love was supposed to be. Loving a toy and loving a person were just different things. I tried to make them the same. It’s what I did when I paired an owner with a toy. Maybe I was deluding myself. Love was not forbidden, but calling it love was. Did I love my handsome toy? The answer to that question was yes, because I loved him like I loved all my toys.
But did I love him as a person and not as a toy?
Nothing made sense suddenly.
I ran my fingers over my handsome U-know’s cheek. “Yes, my Dragon, I love him.”
“But it’s different than how you love me, right, master? It’s how Hyukkie and Aiden love each other?”
I knew I could not make my Dragon understand, so I nodded.
My Dragon squealed and then shut up quickly, hiding his smile behind his hand. “Then that means he doesn’t have to go away and you don’t have to sell him, master.”
I opened my mouth and then shut it, shaking my head. “No, that’s not what it means, my Dragon. I still need to find the perfect owner for him.”
He frowned, face scrunched up, thinking. “But, master, you find owners to love us like you love us and if you love U-know-hyung more than that, then …”
“That’s enough, my Dragon,” I said sharply, because he was making me think things that I was not supposed to think.
He inhaled sharply, lower lip quivering from my tone. I apologized quickly and kissed him until he was smiling again.
“Go back to sleep, my Dragon.”
He frowned. “Why don’t you sleep anymore, master?”
I shook my head. “I will. I promise.”
“Okay. Can I sleep by U-know-hyung, master?”
“Yes, my darling Dragon, you can.”
My Dragon kissed my cheek and then carefully climbed over U-know. He resettled, and then U-know turned over, spooning against him, leaving me alone. My heart filled with pain for a moment, and then I sighed and tried to get comfortable, molded against U-know’s back. My arm went around his waist and my fingers tangled with my Dragon’s.
U-know was my charge, my responsibility. I was supposed to find him a good home with a kind owner. I was not supposed to fall in love with him.
---
Christmas was the only other time that my toys were allowed to fuck each other. Okay, fine. I will admit that I held a massive orgy. With sex as the norm, it was natural to use it as a gift for Christmas.
Our “parties” were held in the main gym, and I hired a team of decorators to fill the place with pillows and lights and streamers. This year’s theme was a tropical island. So even though there was almost three feet of snow outside, we lounged naked on beaches with overhead lamps making the room warm. There was even an area full of salt water to imitate the ocean.
Even though many of the handlers and toys wanted him, my U-know stayed by my side through most of the day. I tried not to think about it, thinking only that it was U-know’s first party and he was a little intimidated. But he smiled and laughed and played with some of the other toys, so yet again, it was only a delusion on my part.
At the new year, I always assigned my handlers to different toys. It kept them from getting attached. I made an exception for my Dragon since he would be sold soon, and also for my handsome toy. That one I rationalized as him being almost eighteen, but deep inside, I knew it was just because I didn’t want anyone else to touch him.
I knew these feelings and recognized them, but I tried to deny them and never admitted to myself my true feelings.
I was in my office on a Saturday. For the first time in six years, I forgot about my quarterly tax report. It was due on Monday. My birthday was in one week, and in order to keep them separate celebrations (another rationalization) I told U-know his birthday would be a week after that.
Two weeks, I had two weeks left with him.
Already upset, and still tired from a prolonged lack of sleep, it was no wonder that I forgot about the irritation of national taxes.
I had U-know with me. He sat on the floor by my chair. His fingers curled around my calf muscle, his head rested against my thigh. But that small reminder of what I was going to lose caused even more pain.
“Master,” U-know said.
“Yes, my handsome darling?” I’d started calling him that without realizing it.
“You keep sighing, master. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
I smiled down at him and ran my fingers through his hair. “No. Just kicking myself for forgetting about this.”
“I’m sorry, master. I’m too distracting.”
I let out a bark of surprised laughter and then leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I grinned seeing the display as “Yamapi-san”. I answered quickly and said hello in Japanese.
“Jaejoong! What is up, my friend?”
“Not much. At the office because I was stupid.”
“Sweet. How much longer are you going to be there?”
“A long time. Why?”
“Oh, I might be in town.”
“Really! Great. I’ll have the doorman let you in.”
“I brought a friend. A really excellent guy. He’s interested in purchasing something for you since I’ve been singing your praises for a couple of years.”
“All right. I’ll see how it goes when you get here.”
“Good. Be there in a few.”
I gnawed on my lower lip. I did not mind meeting strange people, I met them all the time, and this guy was a friend of Yamapi’s and I trusted Yamapi with my life. The feeling low in my stomach should have been called paranoia, but I pushed it aside as not eating enough. Concentrating on the numbers in front of me was even more difficult.
Yamapi and his friend showed up about twenty minutes later. With a flourish and a bow, Yamapi presented a latte to me.
“Oh, thank god,” I said, in English, and then continued in Japanese. “Thank you, friend. I really need this.”
“Dude,” he asked, sitting in one of my office chairs. The other man sat in the other. “What is wrong with you? You look like shit, and you’re supposed to look perfect.”
“It’s been a stressful couple of months.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
Yamapi smirked at me and then said, “Jaejoong, this is Miyavi. He’s a business associate, a music producer in Tokyo. We’re in Korea for a little business of finding cute rocker boys to have a little pleasure with.”
I laughed and said hello to him. Miyavi was tall, definitely taller than me, but willowy. Scrawny. He wore white pants with laces on the sides. They were tied so the pants his at his mid-calf, the rest billowing on his thighs. He wore only a fishnet shirt under his unzipped hoody. His long hair was hidden in a hat, but I could see different chunks of blond and black. Tattoos and piercings littered his body. Lip, nose, nipple, that I could see.
“I see bare feet on the floor,” Yamapi said. “Who do you have sucking on your cock right now?”
I rolled my eyes and put my hand on Yunho’s shoulder, signifying that he should climb in my lap. He did easily, arms going around my neck. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “This is U-know,” I said in Korean. “U-know, this is Yamapi and Miyavi. They are Japanese.”
U-know suddenly turned shy, almost like a younger toy. He bit his lower lip and then bowed his head and said, “Konnichiwa, Yamapi-sama, Miyavi-sama. I am pleased to meet you.”
I watched Miyavi. His eyes absolutely gleamed. Not with lust or anger, but … anticipation. I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not.
“You never bring your toys to your office,” Yamapi said.
“I know, but I had been in the middle of something with my handsome darling and then quite suddenly remembered that I had quarterly taxes due.”
“Oops.”
“Yeah.”
“So what are your plans for the weekend?”
I looked at Yamapi like he was stupid. “Um, you’re looking at them.”
He leered. “Gonna fuck your toy all weekend?”
“Um, no.”
“Good, then we can.”
I glared at him. “You most definitely cannot.”
“Oh, come on, JaeJae. Miyavi is a prospective client. Don’t you want to make him happy?”
I smiled at Miyavi. “Yamapi told you my rules, I hope?”
“Yes, he did.”
I stuck my tongue out at Yamapi. “Stop trying to get a free fuck.”
Yamapi made a face. “What’s up with this one anyway? He seems older.”
I pressed a kiss to my handsome darling’s cheek. “He’s almost eighteen.”
“Wow. No takers?”
“Not the right taker. I’ve only had him on sale for a few weeks.”
“Would you allow me a closer look?” Miyavi asked, eyes raking down U-know bare torso and the tight black shorts he was currently wearing.
I felt my arms tighten around him. I could not keep him. I knew that. I sighed and nodded. “Miyavi wants to see you up close,” I said to U-know in Korean. “Go on, my handsome darling. Go say hello.”
Yunho slid down to the floor and crawled around the desk. He kept his eyes up, on Miyavi. The Japanese man smiled widely. U-know sat back, head tilted to the side, waiting instructions from Miyavi. Slender fingers caressed U-know’s cheek before trailing down his neck to his collar bones.
“You call him handsome,” Miyavi said, voice awed. “Fitting for this one.”
“He doesn’t speak Japanese,” I said quickly.
“I speak Korean,” Miyavi said, in Korean. “Hello, U-know-shi.”
U-know’s mouth opened and then he covered it with his hand and almost giggled. He’d been spending too much time with my Dragon. “Hello, Miyavi-sama. I’ve never been called ‘shi’ before.”
“It’s respectful with someone you just met, correct?”
U-know nodded and moved a little closer. I saw the signs in his face and body. The barely concealed excitement in possibly having an owner.
A sharp pain shot through my chest as Miyavi touched my handsome toy’s face again, and U-know moved next to him, hands on his leg. I looked at my paperwork and tried to blink away the blurriness.
Too attached to this one. Way too attached.
I knew it, and I could not help it.
To distract myself, I asked Yamapi about my friends in Japan. We laughed and talked for almost two hours. I slowly relaxed, but only because I was forcing myself not to look at Miyavi petting my toy. Not to listen to their quiet whispers.
This was not fair to U-know, not at all. I felt that Miyavi was not a good match for U-know, but I could not pinpoint why, and I wondered if it was my own feelings clouding my judgment. Or the lack of sleep. The lack of real food. Too much coffee.
At one am, realizing I was getting no work done, I moaned and put my head on the table. “Maybe I’ll just file for an extension this month. I’ve never been late before.”
“Naw, you’ll get them done tomorrow. You need to sleep.”
I nodded. “Do you guys have a hotel, or do you want to stay at the dorms?”
Yamapi’s eyes lit up. “The dorms. God, please.”
“Keep your hands off my toys, Yamapi.”
Yamapi grinned. “Then you’ll fuck me?”
I rolled my eyes. “Been there, done that. No thanks. But I’m sure I can arrange for a pair of pretty lips to wrap around your cock.”
“Fuck yes!” Yamapi said with a groan.
Miyavi laughed at him. To me, he said, “We will get a hotel. We do not want to impose when you have so much work to do.”
“Yes, we do,” Yamapi muttered.
I smiled at Miyavi. It was a bit strained, because he still had his fingers running through my handsome darling’s hair. “It’s not an imposition. We’ll go now. Did you take a cab here?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go. My limo is waiting outside, and I can’t concentrate anymore anyway.” I stood up and pondered my toy for a moment. The pain through my body was worse, my breath gone, everything blurred: I handed U-know’s leash to Miyavi. This was for the best. It was.
I kneeled down and hooked it to U-know’s collar. He smiled at me, happy, and I tried to smile back. I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and then stood up. I kept my face blank as I watched him rub against Miyavi’s thigh.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Yamapi said. “I need lips around my cock.”
---
I finished my tax papers on Sunday. And I only did that because I locked myself in my office for eight hours. Alone. No further distractions. I couldn’t really see straight when I was done. I dropped the manila envelope at my accountant’s office. He’d double check everything and make sure I didn’t transpose numbers.
Yamapi and Miyavi stayed at the dorms for two days. I allowed them to play with my toys because Miyavi was a prospective client. They were not allowed to fuck them, but Yamapi’s cock was going to be permanently bruised from all the sucking. Miyavi had taken a liking to my handsome darling, and it hurt every time I saw U-know smile up at him.
Part 3: Kiss Me
Part 1: Heal Me
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