No Lube, No Condoms, No Service 13/?
Title: No Lube, No Condoms, No Service 13/?
Pairing: Various but will include Changmin/Jaejoong, Changmin/Yoochun, Changmin/Jaejoong/Yoochun, Junsu/Junho, Kouyou/Changmin, Hangeng/Jungmo/Heechul ... lots and lots
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: If they were really escorts, I would buy them for a night, and then I would own them, but ... yeah, I don't now.
Summary: Shim Changmin is the son of a wealthy business man. He's working his way through college. When a paper for his Human Sexuality class is assigned, he decides he wants to do something that no other student has done before. But what seems like an easy project turns into a emotional battle to decide what is most important.
Poster credit goes to ponyboy!!!
Warnings: Incest (Junsu/Junho)
Pairings this chapter: minor!Jaejoong/Changmin, minor!Yunho/Changmin
Part 13: Strictly Professional
“You’re being a selfish bastard.”
Jaejoong looked up, head tilted to the side as he pondered Kouyou. “What?”
“You. Selfish. Bastard. Should I repeat it in Korean so I know you understand?”
Jaejoong crossed his arms over his bare chest.
Kouyou walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.
“Nice hair,” Jaejoong said.
“Thanks. Kibum says the crimping is sexily divine.”
Jaejoong grinned. “Everything about you is sexily divine.” He reached for Kouyou’s arm, but the other man moved away. Jaejoong frowned. Kouyou never refused an opportunity to cuddle.
“Where’s Yoochun?” Kouyou asked.
Jaejoong wondered why he suddenly changed the subject. “He’s in his office. Why?”
“Is he?”
Jaejoong stared at him for another moment, and then said, “I’m assuming you have a point.”
Kouyou smirked at him. “I already told you my point. You’re being a selfish bastard.”
“Would you please explain?”
“I don’t think I need to explain. You know you’re being a dick. You know you’re asking him for more than you should. And you know he’s going to give it to you anyway. You are a selfish bastard.”
“I’m not sure how this is even your business.”
“It’s my business because I found him in the hall outside your room in tears. And then when I tried to hug him, he jerked away from me like I was on fire. All he would say is ‘I can’t’ over and over again. And then he left. He’s not in his office, even if he told you he was in his office. I don’t know where he is, and you obviously don’t know where he is either.”
Jaejoong’s face paled. He grabbed his phone and called Yoochun’s phone. There was no answer, so Jaejoong left a message, “Babe, where are you?” and then hung up.
Kouyou shook his head. “Kibum told me what happened last night after the show, and how cold Yoochun was to Changmin. It took us awhile to figure things out. He is refusing to touch any of us, Jaejoong. At all. Not even a kiss on the cheek. It’s your business. Yeah, I get that. But it’s ours too when someone we love is hurting.”
Jaejoong checked his phone. No new messages. “I bet you volunteered to be the one to bitch at me about it.”
Kouyou smirked. “No one else dares, and I don’t give a fuck if you get mad at me. Would you please drop the I’m perfect façade and admit that this is wrong.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?”
Jaejoong looked away, unable to meet his eyes. Kouyou knew him too well. He sighed and then sent Yoochun another text. Only please.
“You need to unwind,” Kouyou said. “Come on.”
“I need to find Yoochun.”
“You need to let him find himself.”
Jaejoong did not protest as Kouyou dragged him to the middle of the living room. His yoga mat was already spread out. He glared at Kouyou, but the Japanese man sat, cross-legged, eyes shut. Jaejoong sighed, and with one more glance at his phone, sat next to Kouyou, and tried to figure out his thoughts.
----
Changmin stretched, arms above his head, toes curled. The warm body next to his jerked in sleep. He dared a glance at his clock, content that it wasn’t yet past noon. He hadn’t slept as long as he thought he had. His body ached, but it was his own fault for swimming for so long and then having Yunho fuck him for a few hours.
Gingerly, he stood up. One of his ties was still around his neck. He pulled it through his fingers, wincing at the marks on his wrists. The thin fabric of his sheets floated to the floor.
“Where going?” Yunho said, hands reaching for him.
“Up. Shower. I have work to do, and I’m sure you do, too.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost noon.”
Yunho groaned. “Fuck you, Max.”
“Don’t call me that,” Changmin said. Again.
“Why not? It’s sexy.”
Changmin met his eyes for a moment. They were still blown with lust, even though he’d gotten off three times this morning. He sighed and then shook his head. “So now I’m just a sex object to you, huh?”
“What were you before that? A future business ally? Sex object is much better.”
“God, fuck off. It’s not like I’m going to be a hooker forever.”
“Well, maybe you should be. You can suck cock like a hooker.”
“Get out,” Changmin said. He moved across his bedroom to the bathroom. He slammed the door and locked it.
Leaning against the cool wood, he waited to feel angry, but all he managed was shame. He’d known Yunho for so long, and they fucked frequently, but never with the need and lust they had fucked with this morning. And it was all because Yunho now saw him as some glorified escort. But that wasn’t all.
He’d only known Yoochun for a few days, but his obvious refusal hurt more than Yunho’s thoughts. Yunho was a dickhead, a bastard only worried about money, sex and fame. He always had been. But Yoochun was different. For a day or two, Changmin had felt like Yoochun cared about him. But was Yoochun different? The man was part owner of an escort business. Sex, money and fame is what made him successful.
Is this how the others felt every single day? This shame from throwing themselves in front of business men who only saw them as a way to fulfill a sexual need?
And with all the girls and guys Changmin had sex with, all the one night stands, the blowjobs, the drunken college flings … did they all feel that way too?
When had sex become an emotional thing?
Changmin remembered the way Yoochun and Jaejoong moved together. The years together buried in their movements and grace. Was that love? Or was that just a familiarity? Changmin didn’t think that you could love someone and have sex with other people.
So maybe sex had always been an emotional thing to him. Only it wasn’t emotional until you were with the right person.
Yunho knocked on the door. “You all right, Minnie?”
Changmin pushed away from the door. “I told you to go away.”
“You told me to get out.”
“Same thing.” He went to the shower and started the water.
“You’re not going to let me take a shower?”
“There are plenty of other bathrooms. Go find your own.”
Yunho chuckled. “God, what is wrong with you all of a sudden, huh?”
Changmin wished he knew that answer to that. He stepped into the too-hot water and tried to burn away his thoughts.
---
“He’s stable, Park Yoochun-shi,” the doctor said, “but I would prefer he stay one more night for observation.”
Yoochun nodded. “Then we can take him home?”
“Yes. But again, he needs rest.”
“I know. He’ll get it.” Yoochun rubbed the back of Shige’s hand with his fingers. The bruises on his face and body had turned a sickly purplish green. This was Yoochun’s fault. Somehow it was. If time was retracted enough, it was Yoochun’s fault for falling in love with Jaejoong. For doing this with Jaejoong.
A little voice that sounded like his mother said, “But if you hadn’t, then where would Shige be? On the streets? Sick? Dead? You have to think from every angle, son. Not just the one where you blame yourself.”
His mother somehow knew. She always had. And where his father refused to accept Jaejoong as part of his life, refused to see their business as a legitimate way to make money, his mother had always been so supportive. Maybe he’d take some time to go see her today.
His phone vibrated and he ignored it. It’d taken Jaejoong a long time to realize he wasn’t where he said he was. He wondered if Jaejoong went looking for him, or if someone just told him he was gone. He figured it was the latter.
His eyes fell on the thick envelope he’d tossed on the other chair. Documents and papers and pictures of Shige. All set to be delivered to Siwon’s lawyer. A hefty settlement for physical damages and a promise not to press charges. Yoochun hoped he just paid. He didn’t want to have to deal with Siwon ever again.
He heard the doctor leave.
Maybe Jaejoong was right. All these years and he was right. They couldn’t be in love. Their relationship was based on lies. On sex. On superficial feelings that were only used to escape real life. One likes anything that stops pain, stops ache, stops hurt. Even if the hurt ache pain is worse afterwards.
Alcohol, cigarettes, beauty.
Yoochun lost himself in those things more often than not. Maybe he needed to face his life. Reassess what was important.
Do as Daddy wanted, take over the company. Close the escort business. Admit it was a fool’s idea. Ditch Jaejoong. Find a good woman to marry and have children.
But that led to despair.
The thought of Jaejoong not being in his life made his heart ache more than anything else. He could quit drinking. He could quit smoking.
He could not quit Jaejoong.
One of their most popular escorts was leaving. A man Jaejoong had known even before Yoochun met him. He could not begrudge Jaejoong the need to say goodbye to his friend. He also knew that he could have said goodbye to Kyuhyun the same way had he stayed in that bed. Jaejoong would not have minded, but Yoochun decided that if he stayed for a threesome, that would lead to other threesomes, and then the possibility of rationalizing something away with “Jaejoong won’t mind.”
Cold turkey.
Yoochun snorted. He’d failed at quitting cigarettes cold turkey. And alcohol.
There was too much work that needed to be done. He should have been at the office, rearranging Kyuhyun’s performance tonight, and for the rest of the week. Part of him hoped Jaejoong would take care of it. Sighing, he stood up. He leaned over the edge of the bed and kissed Shige’s forehead.
“See you tomorrow, aishiteru. Rest well.”
Yoochun’s throat closed for a moment. He grabbed the envelope of papers and left the room.
----
Jaejoong frowned at his phone. Not for the first time. Yoochun continued to ignore his texts. He sat in Yoochun’s empty office. He’d been there for hours, rearranging their schedule for the week. Only Lee Hyukjae had been upset that Kyuhyun was not going to be performing. When Jaejoong mentioned that both he and Yoochun would supervise the party that evening, Hyukjae had relented and agreed that instead of the Kouyou/Kyuhyun show, he would see Kouyou and Jungmo.
He stared at the untouched glass of scotch. The sides pebbled with moisture.
Jaejoong knew why Yoochun was so upset, and it was his own fault for Yoochun being so upset.
The thought of Yoochun only being with him was nothing more than a dream. He should have known that it would cause a problem like this. At the same time, he knew that if he gave Yoochun the same promise, it wouldn’t be like this. They’d be happy as an exclusive couple, but Jaejoong wasn’t sure he could be exclusive.
Why wasn’t Jaejoong happy? Happy to have this man love him so much? Yoochun was his. Heart mind and body. But he was not Yoochun’s.
Yes, he loved Yoochun. He did. A stubborn feeling twisted through him. He loved him. He loved him with everything he was. But it made more sense for him to love Yoochun than for Yoochun to love him. Hookers fell in love with rich, sexy business men. Those business men did not fall in love with hookers. He did not deserve Yoochun’s love. With everything he put the other man through, with everything he demanded of the other man, Yoochun should have left him a long time ago.
With a resigned sigh, Jaejoong picked up the glass and swallowed a mouthful. It burned only for a moment and then warmed his body in a way that only Yoochun could.
Jaejoong didn’t understand why he stayed. Even now with this newest demand, this newest thing that was going to be so very hard for Yoochun to follow.
If Yoochun would answer his damn phone, maybe they could talk about it.
Please, baby. Just let me know you’re alive. I’m so worried about you right now.
Jaejoong sighed as he pressed send. He put his head on Yoochun’s desk, pillowed on his arm. He traced nonsensical designs into the wood.
When his phone vibrated on the desk, he jerked alert with a yelp, heart hammering. With shaking hands, he picked it up.
From Chunnie: You know where I’ll be. Bring my camera
Jaejoong’s throat closed. He blinked away tears and then jumped up from the chair, not caring when he knocked it over. He flew up the stairs, ignored Kouyou and Kibum in the kitchen.
Yoochun’s camera was on his bookshelf. Jaejoong carefully lifted it, put it in the bag, made sure there were extra rolls of film and then left the room as fast as he entered it.
“We’ll be back,” he said as a goodbye.
---
Changmin sat in his car, debating. The air was cool in the underground parking garage. He shouldn’t be here. He hadn’t heard from Yoochun or Jaejoong. He hadn’t been told to come. Why was he there? He should have been home writing his paper.
He wanted answers. That was for certain. He wanted … he wasn’t sure what else he wanted. And answers to what? He only knew these men for a few days.
With a self-deprecating sigh, Changmin started his car. They owed him nothing. It was his own fault that he was so emotionally involved already. He was about to pull out of the parking space when the door to the inside opened and Jaejoong rushed out. He turned the car off.
Jaejoong didn’t appear to have seen him.
He opened the door and said his name.
Jaejoong jerked, startled and then his mouth spread in a smile. “Changmin.”
Changmin moved around the black Audi R8.
Jaejoong met him half way. “You all right?”
“No.”
Jaejoong tilted his head and smiled softly. “Don’t worry too much about it, okay?”
“Are we talking about the same thing?”
“Yeah. We are. Look, I made …” Jaejoong sighed and said, “It’s stupid. I made Yoochun promise not to fuck around, and he took it more seriously than I thought he would and now he’s … Anyway.” Jaejoong kissed him softly. “He still likes you. He’s not mad at you. He’s pretty pissed at me right now, but I’m on my way to try to fix things. Look, go upstairs, talk to the guys. Kyuhyun is leaving us for his boyfriend, so we’re all a little on edge about that. Plus the mess with Shige.”
Jaejoong kissed him again, hand gripping the back of Changmin’s neck. Changmin melted into his lips, arm snaking its way around Jaejoong’s waist.
“You picked a crazy time in our lives to write this paper.” Jaejoong grinned. “Work on your stripping with Kouyou. Without Kyuhyun, we’re going to need a replacement pretty quickly. I’ve got to go. We’ll be back a little later.”
Jaejoong kissed him one more time, a little more forceful, a little deeper. A little tongue. It stole Changmin’s breath. Another smile, a peck on the cheek and Jaejoong climbed into the car. Changmin stepped back and watched as Jaejoong drove away. He honked and stuck his hand out the window in a wave.
Changmin took a deep breath and headed inside. He bypassed the elevator and slowly climbed the stairs. The door opened under his hand and he floated through the rooms. He was halfway to the living room when a head peaked over the couch.
Jungmo frowned at him and said, “What’s wrong?”
“I … I don’t even know anymore.” He sat on the floor since Hangeng and Kibum were also on the couch. Jungmo sat behind him, straddling him and rubbed his shoulders firmly.
“Is this about last night?” Kibum asked.
Changmin nodded. “Mostly. But Jaejoong just said he made Yoochun promise to be exclusive to him.”
Kibum snorted. Hangeng said something in Chinese that was probably a curse word.
Jungmo laughed. “No wonder the two of them have been pissy with each other today.”
“I’m supposed to work on stripping with Kouyou so I can start performing next week, but I really don’t want to do anything right now.”
Jungmo moved to the floor with him. Arms circled his waist and Changmin shut his eyes and tried to relax.
---
“Why are you crying?” Kouyou whispered.
Kyuhyun jumped like he’d been shocked. And then he rolled over, eyes shut, chest rising and falling rapidly.
Kouyou slipped into the room, shutting the door with a soft click. There were clothes everywhere, bags full and spilling over. Trinkets wrapped in paper. Boxes.
Kyuhyun slid over on the bed to give Kouyou room.
“I-I don’t think I can leave,” Kyuhyun said.
“Why not?”
“I just … I-I can’t, Kou. It’s so hard. To know that I’ll never see you again, I’ll never get to kiss you again. Or Kibum. Or Jungmo. Or Jaejoong. I-“
Kouyou held him tightly. He let Kyuhyun cry for a little while and then pushed him away enough to meet his eyes. “You love Donghae, right?”
Kyuhyun nodded. “But do I love him more than I love you guys?”
“Why do you have to love him more? Why can’t you just love him, too?”
“Because I’m leaving you for him. I should love him more if I’m willing to give this up.”
“This.” Kouyou smirked. “You make it sound so glamorous.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. And I say you go to Donghae. What has Jaejoong always said to us? What he said to us when he was Hero? Do you remember?”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes but recited, “If you have a chance at something better, take it.”
“Being with Donghae is better than this. You won’t miss the shows, Kyu, you won’t miss the sex and the fucking. Donghae sounds like he’d do anything for you, even tie you up and smack you around when you need it.”
Kyuhyun chuckled. “Yeah, he does that.”
“Then don’t worry about it. Being with someone you love, and not having to fuck men only for their money, is so much better than being here where you’re hurting that someone you love and the next man to shove his dick in your ass might have a disease.”
Their lips met for a moment and then Kyuhyun sighed and readjusted against him. “Do you think you’ll ever find someone you love?”
Kouyou snorted. “Been there, done that, and no thank you.”
“Bitch. What did you just say to me?”
“The difference is that Donghae loves you, too.”
“What if he doesn’t love me as much as he says he does and after I’m with him for a little, while he changes his mind?”
Kouyou again made Kyuhyun move so their eyes met. “If that happens, remember that you will always have a place here. Always. We are not going to forget about you or toss you away. You are still our friend. You’re still our partner, our co-worker, and we all love you in one way or another.”
Kyuhyun hugged him tightly. “Thanks, Kou.”
----
Yoochun leaned against the railing of the bridge. A lit cigarette burned between his lips. He took a drag every now and then. Afternoon sunlight sparkled on the lazy river. He had promised Jaejoong a photo session this week. This was a perfect spot for it.
Jaejoong had texted him that he was on his way, and Yoochun smiled at the thought. They knew each other so well. What would happen if that was gone? If the only person who Yoochun was sure held onto part of his soul was suddenly out of his life?
The pain from just the thought was enough to tear his heart in two. He would not lose Jaejoong. Not over this. Not over something this ridiculous. He loved Jaejoong. And as always, he would do what Jaejoong wanted, because the alternative was no Jaejoong in his life, and that was as close to death as he was willing to get.
He smoked another cigarette.
When he heard the quiet whine of Jaejoong’s R8 pull up behind him, he smiled, but he didn’t turn around. Each one of Jaejoong’s steps echoed loud in his ears. Warm arms encircled him from behind. Lips pressed against his neck.
“Forgive me?” Jaejoong whispered.
Yoochun took a deep drag on the cigarette. He blew out a cloud of smoke, and then held the cigarette so Jaejoong could also take a drag. They finished the cigarette and stared over the water for a little while longer.
Yoochun turned in Jaejoong’s embrace. “This sunlight is going to look amazing on your skin,” he whispered. “Take your clothes off.”
Part 14: Consolidating and Restructuring
Part 12: Letter of Resignation
Part 11: Business Meeting
Part 10: Inter-Office Romance
Part 9: Background Check
Part 8: Hands On Training
Part 7: Strengthening Employee Relationships
Part 6: Shitty Customers
Part 5: Office Politics
Part 4: The Office Sluts
Part 3: A Trip to the Office
Part 2: A Few More Questions
Part 1: The Job Interview
.
Pairing: Various but will include Changmin/Jaejoong, Changmin/Yoochun, Changmin/Jaejoong/Yoochun, Junsu/Junho, Kouyou/Changmin, Hangeng/Jungmo/Heechul ... lots and lots
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: If they were really escorts, I would buy them for a night, and then I would own them, but ... yeah, I don't now.
Summary: Shim Changmin is the son of a wealthy business man. He's working his way through college. When a paper for his Human Sexuality class is assigned, he decides he wants to do something that no other student has done before. But what seems like an easy project turns into a emotional battle to decide what is most important.
Poster credit goes to ponyboy!!!
Warnings: Incest (Junsu/Junho)
Pairings this chapter: minor!Jaejoong/Changmin, minor!Yunho/Changmin
Part 13: Strictly Professional
“You’re being a selfish bastard.”
Jaejoong looked up, head tilted to the side as he pondered Kouyou. “What?”
“You. Selfish. Bastard. Should I repeat it in Korean so I know you understand?”
Jaejoong crossed his arms over his bare chest.
Kouyou walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.
“Nice hair,” Jaejoong said.
“Thanks. Kibum says the crimping is sexily divine.”
Jaejoong grinned. “Everything about you is sexily divine.” He reached for Kouyou’s arm, but the other man moved away. Jaejoong frowned. Kouyou never refused an opportunity to cuddle.
“Where’s Yoochun?” Kouyou asked.
Jaejoong wondered why he suddenly changed the subject. “He’s in his office. Why?”
“Is he?”
Jaejoong stared at him for another moment, and then said, “I’m assuming you have a point.”
Kouyou smirked at him. “I already told you my point. You’re being a selfish bastard.”
“Would you please explain?”
“I don’t think I need to explain. You know you’re being a dick. You know you’re asking him for more than you should. And you know he’s going to give it to you anyway. You are a selfish bastard.”
“I’m not sure how this is even your business.”
“It’s my business because I found him in the hall outside your room in tears. And then when I tried to hug him, he jerked away from me like I was on fire. All he would say is ‘I can’t’ over and over again. And then he left. He’s not in his office, even if he told you he was in his office. I don’t know where he is, and you obviously don’t know where he is either.”
Jaejoong’s face paled. He grabbed his phone and called Yoochun’s phone. There was no answer, so Jaejoong left a message, “Babe, where are you?” and then hung up.
Kouyou shook his head. “Kibum told me what happened last night after the show, and how cold Yoochun was to Changmin. It took us awhile to figure things out. He is refusing to touch any of us, Jaejoong. At all. Not even a kiss on the cheek. It’s your business. Yeah, I get that. But it’s ours too when someone we love is hurting.”
Jaejoong checked his phone. No new messages. “I bet you volunteered to be the one to bitch at me about it.”
Kouyou smirked. “No one else dares, and I don’t give a fuck if you get mad at me. Would you please drop the I’m perfect façade and admit that this is wrong.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?”
Jaejoong looked away, unable to meet his eyes. Kouyou knew him too well. He sighed and then sent Yoochun another text. Only please.
“You need to unwind,” Kouyou said. “Come on.”
“I need to find Yoochun.”
“You need to let him find himself.”
Jaejoong did not protest as Kouyou dragged him to the middle of the living room. His yoga mat was already spread out. He glared at Kouyou, but the Japanese man sat, cross-legged, eyes shut. Jaejoong sighed, and with one more glance at his phone, sat next to Kouyou, and tried to figure out his thoughts.
----
Changmin stretched, arms above his head, toes curled. The warm body next to his jerked in sleep. He dared a glance at his clock, content that it wasn’t yet past noon. He hadn’t slept as long as he thought he had. His body ached, but it was his own fault for swimming for so long and then having Yunho fuck him for a few hours.
Gingerly, he stood up. One of his ties was still around his neck. He pulled it through his fingers, wincing at the marks on his wrists. The thin fabric of his sheets floated to the floor.
“Where going?” Yunho said, hands reaching for him.
“Up. Shower. I have work to do, and I’m sure you do, too.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost noon.”
Yunho groaned. “Fuck you, Max.”
“Don’t call me that,” Changmin said. Again.
“Why not? It’s sexy.”
Changmin met his eyes for a moment. They were still blown with lust, even though he’d gotten off three times this morning. He sighed and then shook his head. “So now I’m just a sex object to you, huh?”
“What were you before that? A future business ally? Sex object is much better.”
“God, fuck off. It’s not like I’m going to be a hooker forever.”
“Well, maybe you should be. You can suck cock like a hooker.”
“Get out,” Changmin said. He moved across his bedroom to the bathroom. He slammed the door and locked it.
Leaning against the cool wood, he waited to feel angry, but all he managed was shame. He’d known Yunho for so long, and they fucked frequently, but never with the need and lust they had fucked with this morning. And it was all because Yunho now saw him as some glorified escort. But that wasn’t all.
He’d only known Yoochun for a few days, but his obvious refusal hurt more than Yunho’s thoughts. Yunho was a dickhead, a bastard only worried about money, sex and fame. He always had been. But Yoochun was different. For a day or two, Changmin had felt like Yoochun cared about him. But was Yoochun different? The man was part owner of an escort business. Sex, money and fame is what made him successful.
Is this how the others felt every single day? This shame from throwing themselves in front of business men who only saw them as a way to fulfill a sexual need?
And with all the girls and guys Changmin had sex with, all the one night stands, the blowjobs, the drunken college flings … did they all feel that way too?
When had sex become an emotional thing?
Changmin remembered the way Yoochun and Jaejoong moved together. The years together buried in their movements and grace. Was that love? Or was that just a familiarity? Changmin didn’t think that you could love someone and have sex with other people.
So maybe sex had always been an emotional thing to him. Only it wasn’t emotional until you were with the right person.
Yunho knocked on the door. “You all right, Minnie?”
Changmin pushed away from the door. “I told you to go away.”
“You told me to get out.”
“Same thing.” He went to the shower and started the water.
“You’re not going to let me take a shower?”
“There are plenty of other bathrooms. Go find your own.”
Yunho chuckled. “God, what is wrong with you all of a sudden, huh?”
Changmin wished he knew that answer to that. He stepped into the too-hot water and tried to burn away his thoughts.
---
“He’s stable, Park Yoochun-shi,” the doctor said, “but I would prefer he stay one more night for observation.”
Yoochun nodded. “Then we can take him home?”
“Yes. But again, he needs rest.”
“I know. He’ll get it.” Yoochun rubbed the back of Shige’s hand with his fingers. The bruises on his face and body had turned a sickly purplish green. This was Yoochun’s fault. Somehow it was. If time was retracted enough, it was Yoochun’s fault for falling in love with Jaejoong. For doing this with Jaejoong.
A little voice that sounded like his mother said, “But if you hadn’t, then where would Shige be? On the streets? Sick? Dead? You have to think from every angle, son. Not just the one where you blame yourself.”
His mother somehow knew. She always had. And where his father refused to accept Jaejoong as part of his life, refused to see their business as a legitimate way to make money, his mother had always been so supportive. Maybe he’d take some time to go see her today.
His phone vibrated and he ignored it. It’d taken Jaejoong a long time to realize he wasn’t where he said he was. He wondered if Jaejoong went looking for him, or if someone just told him he was gone. He figured it was the latter.
His eyes fell on the thick envelope he’d tossed on the other chair. Documents and papers and pictures of Shige. All set to be delivered to Siwon’s lawyer. A hefty settlement for physical damages and a promise not to press charges. Yoochun hoped he just paid. He didn’t want to have to deal with Siwon ever again.
He heard the doctor leave.
Maybe Jaejoong was right. All these years and he was right. They couldn’t be in love. Their relationship was based on lies. On sex. On superficial feelings that were only used to escape real life. One likes anything that stops pain, stops ache, stops hurt. Even if the hurt ache pain is worse afterwards.
Alcohol, cigarettes, beauty.
Yoochun lost himself in those things more often than not. Maybe he needed to face his life. Reassess what was important.
Do as Daddy wanted, take over the company. Close the escort business. Admit it was a fool’s idea. Ditch Jaejoong. Find a good woman to marry and have children.
But that led to despair.
The thought of Jaejoong not being in his life made his heart ache more than anything else. He could quit drinking. He could quit smoking.
He could not quit Jaejoong.
One of their most popular escorts was leaving. A man Jaejoong had known even before Yoochun met him. He could not begrudge Jaejoong the need to say goodbye to his friend. He also knew that he could have said goodbye to Kyuhyun the same way had he stayed in that bed. Jaejoong would not have minded, but Yoochun decided that if he stayed for a threesome, that would lead to other threesomes, and then the possibility of rationalizing something away with “Jaejoong won’t mind.”
Cold turkey.
Yoochun snorted. He’d failed at quitting cigarettes cold turkey. And alcohol.
There was too much work that needed to be done. He should have been at the office, rearranging Kyuhyun’s performance tonight, and for the rest of the week. Part of him hoped Jaejoong would take care of it. Sighing, he stood up. He leaned over the edge of the bed and kissed Shige’s forehead.
“See you tomorrow, aishiteru. Rest well.”
Yoochun’s throat closed for a moment. He grabbed the envelope of papers and left the room.
----
Jaejoong frowned at his phone. Not for the first time. Yoochun continued to ignore his texts. He sat in Yoochun’s empty office. He’d been there for hours, rearranging their schedule for the week. Only Lee Hyukjae had been upset that Kyuhyun was not going to be performing. When Jaejoong mentioned that both he and Yoochun would supervise the party that evening, Hyukjae had relented and agreed that instead of the Kouyou/Kyuhyun show, he would see Kouyou and Jungmo.
He stared at the untouched glass of scotch. The sides pebbled with moisture.
Jaejoong knew why Yoochun was so upset, and it was his own fault for Yoochun being so upset.
The thought of Yoochun only being with him was nothing more than a dream. He should have known that it would cause a problem like this. At the same time, he knew that if he gave Yoochun the same promise, it wouldn’t be like this. They’d be happy as an exclusive couple, but Jaejoong wasn’t sure he could be exclusive.
Why wasn’t Jaejoong happy? Happy to have this man love him so much? Yoochun was his. Heart mind and body. But he was not Yoochun’s.
Yes, he loved Yoochun. He did. A stubborn feeling twisted through him. He loved him. He loved him with everything he was. But it made more sense for him to love Yoochun than for Yoochun to love him. Hookers fell in love with rich, sexy business men. Those business men did not fall in love with hookers. He did not deserve Yoochun’s love. With everything he put the other man through, with everything he demanded of the other man, Yoochun should have left him a long time ago.
With a resigned sigh, Jaejoong picked up the glass and swallowed a mouthful. It burned only for a moment and then warmed his body in a way that only Yoochun could.
Jaejoong didn’t understand why he stayed. Even now with this newest demand, this newest thing that was going to be so very hard for Yoochun to follow.
If Yoochun would answer his damn phone, maybe they could talk about it.
Please, baby. Just let me know you’re alive. I’m so worried about you right now.
Jaejoong sighed as he pressed send. He put his head on Yoochun’s desk, pillowed on his arm. He traced nonsensical designs into the wood.
When his phone vibrated on the desk, he jerked alert with a yelp, heart hammering. With shaking hands, he picked it up.
From Chunnie: You know where I’ll be. Bring my camera
Jaejoong’s throat closed. He blinked away tears and then jumped up from the chair, not caring when he knocked it over. He flew up the stairs, ignored Kouyou and Kibum in the kitchen.
Yoochun’s camera was on his bookshelf. Jaejoong carefully lifted it, put it in the bag, made sure there were extra rolls of film and then left the room as fast as he entered it.
“We’ll be back,” he said as a goodbye.
---
Changmin sat in his car, debating. The air was cool in the underground parking garage. He shouldn’t be here. He hadn’t heard from Yoochun or Jaejoong. He hadn’t been told to come. Why was he there? He should have been home writing his paper.
He wanted answers. That was for certain. He wanted … he wasn’t sure what else he wanted. And answers to what? He only knew these men for a few days.
With a self-deprecating sigh, Changmin started his car. They owed him nothing. It was his own fault that he was so emotionally involved already. He was about to pull out of the parking space when the door to the inside opened and Jaejoong rushed out. He turned the car off.
Jaejoong didn’t appear to have seen him.
He opened the door and said his name.
Jaejoong jerked, startled and then his mouth spread in a smile. “Changmin.”
Changmin moved around the black Audi R8.
Jaejoong met him half way. “You all right?”
“No.”
Jaejoong tilted his head and smiled softly. “Don’t worry too much about it, okay?”
“Are we talking about the same thing?”
“Yeah. We are. Look, I made …” Jaejoong sighed and said, “It’s stupid. I made Yoochun promise not to fuck around, and he took it more seriously than I thought he would and now he’s … Anyway.” Jaejoong kissed him softly. “He still likes you. He’s not mad at you. He’s pretty pissed at me right now, but I’m on my way to try to fix things. Look, go upstairs, talk to the guys. Kyuhyun is leaving us for his boyfriend, so we’re all a little on edge about that. Plus the mess with Shige.”
Jaejoong kissed him again, hand gripping the back of Changmin’s neck. Changmin melted into his lips, arm snaking its way around Jaejoong’s waist.
“You picked a crazy time in our lives to write this paper.” Jaejoong grinned. “Work on your stripping with Kouyou. Without Kyuhyun, we’re going to need a replacement pretty quickly. I’ve got to go. We’ll be back a little later.”
Jaejoong kissed him one more time, a little more forceful, a little deeper. A little tongue. It stole Changmin’s breath. Another smile, a peck on the cheek and Jaejoong climbed into the car. Changmin stepped back and watched as Jaejoong drove away. He honked and stuck his hand out the window in a wave.
Changmin took a deep breath and headed inside. He bypassed the elevator and slowly climbed the stairs. The door opened under his hand and he floated through the rooms. He was halfway to the living room when a head peaked over the couch.
Jungmo frowned at him and said, “What’s wrong?”
“I … I don’t even know anymore.” He sat on the floor since Hangeng and Kibum were also on the couch. Jungmo sat behind him, straddling him and rubbed his shoulders firmly.
“Is this about last night?” Kibum asked.
Changmin nodded. “Mostly. But Jaejoong just said he made Yoochun promise to be exclusive to him.”
Kibum snorted. Hangeng said something in Chinese that was probably a curse word.
Jungmo laughed. “No wonder the two of them have been pissy with each other today.”
“I’m supposed to work on stripping with Kouyou so I can start performing next week, but I really don’t want to do anything right now.”
Jungmo moved to the floor with him. Arms circled his waist and Changmin shut his eyes and tried to relax.
---
“Why are you crying?” Kouyou whispered.
Kyuhyun jumped like he’d been shocked. And then he rolled over, eyes shut, chest rising and falling rapidly.
Kouyou slipped into the room, shutting the door with a soft click. There were clothes everywhere, bags full and spilling over. Trinkets wrapped in paper. Boxes.
Kyuhyun slid over on the bed to give Kouyou room.
“I-I don’t think I can leave,” Kyuhyun said.
“Why not?”
“I just … I-I can’t, Kou. It’s so hard. To know that I’ll never see you again, I’ll never get to kiss you again. Or Kibum. Or Jungmo. Or Jaejoong. I-“
Kouyou held him tightly. He let Kyuhyun cry for a little while and then pushed him away enough to meet his eyes. “You love Donghae, right?”
Kyuhyun nodded. “But do I love him more than I love you guys?”
“Why do you have to love him more? Why can’t you just love him, too?”
“Because I’m leaving you for him. I should love him more if I’m willing to give this up.”
“This.” Kouyou smirked. “You make it sound so glamorous.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. And I say you go to Donghae. What has Jaejoong always said to us? What he said to us when he was Hero? Do you remember?”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes but recited, “If you have a chance at something better, take it.”
“Being with Donghae is better than this. You won’t miss the shows, Kyu, you won’t miss the sex and the fucking. Donghae sounds like he’d do anything for you, even tie you up and smack you around when you need it.”
Kyuhyun chuckled. “Yeah, he does that.”
“Then don’t worry about it. Being with someone you love, and not having to fuck men only for their money, is so much better than being here where you’re hurting that someone you love and the next man to shove his dick in your ass might have a disease.”
Their lips met for a moment and then Kyuhyun sighed and readjusted against him. “Do you think you’ll ever find someone you love?”
Kouyou snorted. “Been there, done that, and no thank you.”
“Bitch. What did you just say to me?”
“The difference is that Donghae loves you, too.”
“What if he doesn’t love me as much as he says he does and after I’m with him for a little, while he changes his mind?”
Kouyou again made Kyuhyun move so their eyes met. “If that happens, remember that you will always have a place here. Always. We are not going to forget about you or toss you away. You are still our friend. You’re still our partner, our co-worker, and we all love you in one way or another.”
Kyuhyun hugged him tightly. “Thanks, Kou.”
----
Yoochun leaned against the railing of the bridge. A lit cigarette burned between his lips. He took a drag every now and then. Afternoon sunlight sparkled on the lazy river. He had promised Jaejoong a photo session this week. This was a perfect spot for it.
Jaejoong had texted him that he was on his way, and Yoochun smiled at the thought. They knew each other so well. What would happen if that was gone? If the only person who Yoochun was sure held onto part of his soul was suddenly out of his life?
The pain from just the thought was enough to tear his heart in two. He would not lose Jaejoong. Not over this. Not over something this ridiculous. He loved Jaejoong. And as always, he would do what Jaejoong wanted, because the alternative was no Jaejoong in his life, and that was as close to death as he was willing to get.
He smoked another cigarette.
When he heard the quiet whine of Jaejoong’s R8 pull up behind him, he smiled, but he didn’t turn around. Each one of Jaejoong’s steps echoed loud in his ears. Warm arms encircled him from behind. Lips pressed against his neck.
“Forgive me?” Jaejoong whispered.
Yoochun took a deep drag on the cigarette. He blew out a cloud of smoke, and then held the cigarette so Jaejoong could also take a drag. They finished the cigarette and stared over the water for a little while longer.
Yoochun turned in Jaejoong’s embrace. “This sunlight is going to look amazing on your skin,” he whispered. “Take your clothes off.”
Part 14: Consolidating and Restructuring
Part 12: Letter of Resignation
Part 11: Business Meeting
Part 10: Inter-Office Romance
Part 9: Background Check
Part 8: Hands On Training
Part 7: Strengthening Employee Relationships
Part 6: Shitty Customers
Part 5: Office Politics
Part 4: The Office Sluts
Part 3: A Trip to the Office
Part 2: A Few More Questions
Part 1: The Job Interview
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