Piano Lessons 8/?
Title: Piano Lessons 8/?
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Changmin/Yoochun (minor Yunho/Jaejoong and Junsu/FC)
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd make Yoochun play the piano naked.
Warnings: AU
Word Count: 3633
A/N: I'M BACK!!! YAY!!!
Summary: It's the last year of high school, and Changmin doesn't expect it to be any different than the previous three. And then he finds out that Park Yoochun plays the piano. Tickling the ivories never felt this good.
A/N: This story, unlike the previous ones I've posted, is not finished. So updates will not be as frequent.
This story is in first person, told from Changmin's POV.
Chapter 8 - things come to a head, no, not that kind of head
Yoochun and Junsu were at my locker the next morning. Yoochun’s eyes went wide when he saw my face.
“Holy fuck,” Junsu muttered.
I shrugged and opened my locker.
“You okay?” Yoochun whispered and touched my arm softly.
“Yeah.”
“Are you grounded even more?”
“Surprisingly, no. My mom actually said that she understood. The more she pushes me, the more I’ll defy her. I’ve been the perfect fucking son for my whole life, and honestly, it’s a rush to break the rules sometimes.”
Yoochun smiled. “Until you get used to it. Then it just becomes second nature.”
“The original punishment still stands,” I said. “Grounded for two weeks, but my mom said as long as I don’t get into anymore trouble and I don’t skip any more classes that this cut lip is punishment enough.”
“Yeah, it should be.” Yoochun hugged me tightly.
“What happened with Yunho and Jaejoong?” I asked.
They both smirked.
“We have no idea,” Junsu said. “They’re not here yet, and neither one of them is answering their phone. If I were them, I wouldn’t want to get out of bed.”
I smiled.
“Do you think you can meet me in a bathroom middle of third period?” Yoochun whispered.
With a raised eyebrow, I asked, “Don’t you have algebra third period?”
Yoochun pouted. “It’s been two days. I need you.”
This time it was my turn to smirk. “Too bad. See you at lunch.” I ducked into my first class.
At lunch, I met him outside my classroom and with no qualms followed him to the lunch room. I hadn’t actually eaten in the cafeteria for years. It was noisy and crowded and the different smells assailed my nose and I longed for the peace of the library. Yoochun led the way to a table occupied only by Junsu. The other tables around it were packed with students.
“I take it this is the table reserved for loyalty,” I asked as I sat down.
“And their concubines,” Yoochun said with a smile. “Perks of being popular.”
Junsu was scarfing down his noodles like they were going to disappear on him. He paused long enough to say, “Just wait ten seconds, Min.”
Before I could ask for what, a girl appeared at Yoochun’s shoulder.
“Yoochun oppa?” she whispered.
Yoochun smiled at her. “Hello, Miyoung.”
She blushed madly and handed him a container. “I made this for you.”
Yoochun took it. “Thank you, Miyoung.”
Another girl brought another container, and then another after that.
I shook my head in disbelief as Yoochun opened them and grinned. “Black bean noodles,” he whispered. “I love these.”
Junsu laughed. “He has to say stuff like that quietly or he’ll get nothing but black bean noodles for a month.”
I ate my paltry rice and meat, and then eyed some of Yoochun’s food. He smiled and pushed a container toward me. “Eat up. I can never finish them myself, and without Jae and Yunho here, there’s way too much for me.”
“Ah, the cast offs,” I said, but ate them anyway.
As soon as Yoochun was done eating, a couple of girls from his entourage appeared and sat across from us.
“Hey, Yoochun oppa, Junsu oppa,” one said, ignoring me, but the other one met my eyes and said hello to me and then blushed.
“Changmin, that’s Yuri.”
I said my greetings.
“Where’s Yunho oppa?” the other demanded of Yoochun.
Yoochun ignored her.
Yuri smiled and shoved her friend and then asked me, “Do you know where Yunho oppa is, Changmin oppa?”
“Sorry, Yuri-shi, but we have no idea where Yunho or Jaejoong are.”
“Yunho oppa promised to walk me to classes today,” the other said with a pout.
“Maybe that’s why he didn’t come then, Sohee,” Yuri said.
Yoochun burst out laughing, and Sohee glared at her friend. Yuri ignored her and continued to look at me. “Why were they fighting yesterday, Changmin oppa?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Just a misunderstanding.”
“Oh, but they’re okay now?”
“We assume so,” Junsu said. “Either that or they killed each other and that’s why they’re not here.”
The girls giggled.
Yoochun stood up. “Hey, Min, let’s go take a walk. Junsu, I’m sure you can take care of this?” he said, gesturing at the two girls.
Junsu grinned. “With pleasure, Chunnie.”
We stood up and left the cafeteria to wonder the halls. We went outside and Yoochun walked to the parking lot and lit a cigarette.
“You shouldn’t smoke,” I said.
He smiled around an exhale of smoke. “You shouldn’t masturbate.”
I laughed.
We lay on the grass and looked up at the sky. The wind was blowing. I rubbed my arms for warmth.
Our peaceful silence was broken when something heavy landed on Yoochun.
“Chunnie!”
And then Jae started tickling him. Yoochun laughed and begged him to stop and then turned to me to plead for help. I shook my head and watched, until Yoochun took his lit cigarette and touched Jae’s arm with it.
Jae yelped and jumped back, rubbing his arm. “You fucker. That hurt.”
“Serves you right,” Yoochun said, sitting up. “Where’s your other half?”
Jae blushed and bit his lip. “Home. He said he didn’t feel like getting out of bed.”
“And?” Yoochun asked.
“And what?”
“How was it?”
Jae sighed and flopped on the grass. “Is amazing a good enough description?”
“No.”
“He’s better than you,” Jae said and then moved away when Yoochun went to smack him. He laughed. “I’m kidding. Gosh. Of course, it was odd and awkward and he was nervous and oh my god, Micky, he’s absolutely, fabulously perfect.”
“Details.”
“No,” Jae said with a pout. “I promised him I wouldn’t.”
Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Oh, I get it. Now that you have what you want, he’s more important than I am.”
“Don’t say that, Yoochun, I just promised him. Trust me, he’s embarrassed by it.”
“Why? He’s hung like a horse.”
“Oh, believe me. I know.” Jae moaned and then laughed a bit. “You can tease him the next time you see him, but I won’t betray his confidence.”
“What did he say anyway? Or can you not tell us that either?”
Jae lay on his back and stared at the sky. “Just that even with all the girls, he never could stop thinking about me. Kinda the same as me, just gave up on it.”
The bell rang.
Yoochun tossed his cigarette away. “Are you coming to class?”
“Do I look dressed to come to class?” He wore jeans and a t-shirt.
“No, and that’s Yunho’s shirt.”
Jae brought it to his nose and sniffed. “Yeah, it is.”
Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Sappy Jaejoong.”
“Better than Moody Jaejooong.”
“You’ll always be moody,” Yoochun said and gave him a hug.
“See you guys later,” Jae said and headed to his car and we headed back to school.
“I hate lunch,” Yoochun said.
“Why?”
“It just makes the rest of the day so long.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I walk you home later? Is that allowed?”
I shrugged. “I guess so. My mom never said you couldn’t.”
“Kay.”
---
A week went by. Yoochun met me every morning on my way to school, and then he walked me home.
We stole moments in the bathrooms, in the library, behind a tree between home and school. Heated kisses, groping hands, sliding bodies. Longer moments were full of brisk hand jobs and even brisker blow jobs.
But we talked. Yoochun was still pretty withdrawn, preferring to talk of nonsensical things like our favorite movies and books and video games. He talked about America, and the differences between there and Korea. But he always steered the questions away from his family.
And I liked him. A lot. Every day, I realized I smiled wider whenever I saw him.
The second week was worse. Both of us were horny, frustrated and irritable. We constantly snapped at each other and the others. And on more than one occasion I found myself wanting to slap the smug look of satisfaction off Yunho and Jaejoong’s faces.
I ate lunch with them every day, laughing, being teased and teasing back. By the middle of the second week, girls were bringing me food, too. And presents. I was utterly shocked when Yuri brought me a homemade scarf with my name on it.
She blushed crimson when (after getting a helpful nudge in the ribs from Yoochun to get me to close my mouth) I stammered my thanks and immediately wrapped it around my neck.
“She likes you,” Yunho had said with a smile.
“Too bad for her,” Yoochun snapped back and slid a bit closer to me.
“I don’t know,” I said, making it look like I was thinking about it. “I should find out what both teams are like, shouldn’t I? Decide which one I-”
I never finished my sentence as Yoochun growled and grabbed my crotch under the table.
The other guys laughed when I yelped.
The day after my punishment ended, Yoochun wasn’t in school. None of the others knew where he was. I sent him text after text. My mood worsened as the day dragged on, and then after school, at my locker, just as I was about to go home, my phone vibrated.
< ur late for ur piano lessons >
I smiled and headed toward the music room.
“Changmin!”
I turned around. Jae, Junsu and Yunho walked toward me.
“Are you coming to the café with us?” Jae asked.
“No, not today.”
“First day of freedom though.”
I smirked. “Yeah, let’s just say I already have plans.”
“But Yoochun isn’t here,” Junsu said.
“Oh, I know. I’ll see you guys later.”
I left them to look at each other in confusion. Yunho muttered something about ‘crazy smart bastard’ and then I turned a corner. It took all my self control not to run to the music room. The room was dark, but soft notes floated on the air. I stood at the door and listened for a few moments. When I finally opened the door, Yoochun had moved from playing single notes to a lofty composition.
I shut the door and as an afterthought pushed a chair under the doorknob.
“That’s against the fire code,” Yoochun said.
“Are you planning on starting a fire?”
“Depends on how hot you make me.”
I groaned. “That was really lame.”
Yoochun laughed.
I sat on the bench behind him.
“I finished that song. Do you want to hear it?”
“Um, of course!”
“Now, before I play it, I want you to know that I wrote it for Jaejoong.”
“Okay,” I said carefully, trying to remember the half finished lyrics I had read a few weeks ago.
“If you remember, I said I had been working on it for two months, right, so before all of this with you, so you can’t get jealous.”
“I’m not. He’s your best friend.”
“I hope you feel the same way after you hear it.”
Yoochun started playing. After a subdued intro, he started singing. His voice was good, deeper than mine, rough and scratchy, but perfectly in tune.
What would you see if you tried to find
who you are inside?
What would I see if you let me in
to chase away the pain?
What do you want your life to be
when you go away?
Where will we be if I let you go
when I need you to stay?
I hear the tears
and pleas you keep behind the perfect smile
I feel the aches
and pains you keep behind the head held high
I cry, too, seeing you like this
I hurt, too, watching you like this
When will you look and see yourself
the way that I see you?
When will you know and understand
I’m nothing without you?
I hear the tears
and pleas you keep behind the perfect smile
I feel the aches
And pains you keep behind the head held high
I cry, too, seeing you like this
I hurt, too, watching you like this
When can I tell you that you are
everything I need?
When will you tell me how to be
everything you need?
Someday you’ll heal
Someday you’ll shine
Someday you’ll feel complete
I hear the tears
And pleas you keep buried deep inside
I feel the aches
And pains you keep just beyond the pride
Why won’t you let me in?
I hear the tears
I feel the aches
I cry, too, seeing you like this
I hurt, too, watching you like this
Why won’t you let me in?
I waited until the very last echoes faded.
“That is really good,” I said. “You’re absolutely amazing.”
“Thanks. So you’re not mad?”
“No. It was really nice.”
Yoochun turned and looked at me. “You’re crazy. It’s practically a love song for another man, you realize.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, thank you. I got that. But Jaejoong is your best friend. I think you should play it for him.”
“What? No way.”
“Why not?”
Yoochun held his hands above the keys, but didn’t touch them.
“He’s your best friend, and-”
“I know, okay.” Yoochun slammed the cover shut and stood up. He stalked over to the windows.
“Why do you hide it?” I whispered.
“We’re more alike than you think, Shim Changmin-shi,” he said finally. “We both have mother’s who love us, but won’t stand up to our fathers. We both have fathers who view us as dirt upon their shoes no matter how we strive to be to impress them.”
He turned and looked at me for a long moment. “I came back to Korea because my father caught me with another boy and almost beat me to death. I was in the hospital for two weeks. He utterly destroyed the other boy’s life. He was older than me by a couple years, so obviously, it was his fault for corrupting me. My father shut down his parents’ grocery store and got him and his older sister kicked out of school.”
I took a sharp breath.
“My mother sent me back here, covering the whole incident as me not grasping the language and not doing well in school and a bunch of other bullshit. They pay my tuition and they pay my grandparents and aunt and uncle to look after me. The only thing I was good at in America was playing the piano, and it was the only thing my father took away from me. I’m not allowed to play at home. I can’t even lift the cover of the piano at home. I do, of course, when I’m alone, but this is the only place where I can be me.”
I stared at him until he turned back to the window. I made an instinctual decision and stood up and covered the distance between us.
“Jae is part of you, even I can see that,” I said, holding him close.
“Maybe.”
“He is. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t have written that song for him. And it makes me feel bad, because I’ve known you for less than a month and yet, I get to hear this, and he’s known you your whole life, and he doesn’t.”
“I’ve thought about telling him, telling them all, but-” Yoochun sighed. “I figure it’ll just be easier when I’m out of school, at the university or something.”
“It’s a really good song.”
“Thanks.”
After a moment of silence, I took a deep breath. Now or never, no matter how pissed at me he was going to get.
“This is odd,” I said.
“What?”
“This is the first time we’ve been alone for two weeks and we’re both still fully clothed.”
Yoochun laughed. “Are you saying we should fix that?”
“No.”
Before he could voice his confusion, I spun him around, pinned his body to mine with one arm and dug his cell phone out of his pocket.
“Min, what are you doing?”
“Oh, nothing,” I said, and managed to navigate and hit the send button on his phone.
Then he started struggling. “Changmin, don’t. Don’t you dare!”
Jae said hello in my ear.
“Hey, Jae. It’s Changmin. Are you busy?”
“Changmin! Don’t! This isn’t fair!”
“What’s going on?” Jae demanded.
“I have to go,” I said, struggling to hold Yoochun’s squirming body. “Just come to the music room at school. And come alone, please.”
The phone clattered to the floor, and Yoochun went limp against me.
“Damn you,” he said. “It’s not any of your business, you fucker.”
“Sure, it is. You want to tell him, don’t you? I think you’re scared.”
Yoochun pushed away from me, and I let him go.
I went back to the piano and played the upper notes of the melody. Or at least I tried. I butchered them royally. On one bad note, I saw Yoochun wince, so I hit more bad notes until he glared over his shoulder at me.
“Stop. You’re murdering it.”
“I know. Come play.”
“Fuck you,” he said and turned away.
“Yoochun, if you didn’t want to tell him, you’d already be gone and half way home by now.”
He grunted, but he didn’t leave. I continued to play simple notes.
There was a knock on the door about fifteen minutes later. “Changmin!” Jae shouted. “I swear if you’ve hurt Yoochun I’m going to kill you.”
I laughed and stood up. “Hang on,” I replied and moved the chair and opened the door.
Jae rushed in, saw Yoochun standing safely and took a deep breath. “What the fuck is going on?”
I looked at Yoochun. The accusation in his eyes was overshadowed by hurt and confusion, and then he swallowed.
“I need a cigarette.” He stalked past us. I grabbed his arm, but he wrenched it free.
“Lover’s quarrel?” Jae asked with a carefully uplifted eyebrow.
“Your fault,” I said.
“What? Why?”
“Come here,” I said and led him to the piano where Yoochun’s music sheets were still laid out. I gathered them up and handed them to him. I tapped the first one. In the top corner, written in Yoochun’s neat handwriting, were the English words, “Jaejoong’s Song.”
Jae’s eyes went wide. “What is this?”
“He wrote you a song.”
“He wrote-” His eyes scanned the lyrics and then he flipped to the next page, and the next. “He wrote this?” and then again louder, “He wrote this!”
“Yeah.”
Tears formed in the corners of his eyes.
“You should hear him play it,” I said. “It’s amazing.”
“Play?”
“Yeah, the piano. He’s practically a master pianist.”
Jae gaped at me, mouth open, and tears fell. “He plays the piano?” he whispered.
I nodded. His hands clutched the music sheets, wrinkling them and then suddenly his knees gave out. I caught him and lowered him to the piano bench. He read the lyrics again, and again.
“Why didn’t he tell me?”
“It’s his, I guess,” I replied. “His escape. His coping mechanism.”
“Why did you call me?”
“Because you deserve to know.”
“He obviously didn’t want me to know.”
I smiled at him. “Yeah, he did. He just didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Hey, Jae. I can play the piano. How fucking hard is that?”
“Hey, Yunho, I love you. How fucking hard is that?” Yoochun demanded from the door.
“This is different,” Jae said, waving the sheets at him.
Yoochun came right to the piano. He put his palms together and then spread them apart, showing that he wanted us to move. We slid apart and Yoochun sat between us.
He played the song again, without singing, just the music. Jae never took his eyes off Yoochun’s face.
And then the song ended.
Yoochun took a breath, and I realized he was crying. He again held his hands just above the keys. Jae put his head on Yoochun’s shoulder.
Yoochun played it again, and this time sang. More emotion, and more pain and need sounded through his voice as he sang through his tears. Jae wrapped his arms around his middle and held him.
When he was finished, he looked at me, and then down at Jae.
I shrugged and then nodded. I didn’t mind.
Yoochun hugged Jae tightly to him.
“Don’t you think for one second that just because you wrote me an amazing song that you’re off the hook for keeping this from me,” Jae said, voice muffled against Yoochun’s shoulder. “You’re in so much trouble and as soon as I can-damn it, Micky, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just-”
“No,” Jae said and pushed up from him. “You’re sitting here, in this song, accusing me of keeping you away when you’re doing the exact same thing to me.”
“I know.”
“And god damn it, Micky, you’re good. You’re really, really good.”
Yoochun looked away.
“Tell him, Min.”
“I have. Many times.”
Jaejoong smacked Yoochun’s shoulder. “Sing it again.”
Yoochun smiled, but did as he was told, and then Jae demanded that he play something else, and then something after that, and then after that.
My phone suddenly started beeping.
“What the hell?” Jae said, as Yoochun stopped playing.
“That just means I have to go home,” I said and stood up.
Jae frowned at Yoochun. “You’re not leaving, too, are you?”
Yoochun looked up at me.
I smiled and shook my head. “Stay. I know my way home.”
Jae clapped and squealed and said, “Okay, keep playing.”
Yoochun laughed. “Hang on, hang on.”
He stood up and hugged me tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered and then captured my mouth in a deep kiss that left me breathless and light headed when he pulled away.
“Call me later,” I said with a loopy smile.
“I will."
Chapter 9 - things come to a head, yes, that kind of head
Chapter 7 - Whirlwinds of WTF-ery
Chapter 6 - not so much talking
Chapter 5 - talking is really overrated
Chapter 4 - written notes, math notes, class notes, music notes ... whatever
Chapter 3 - at least i'm better at math than he is
Chapter 2 - oh my god, something else he's good at
Chapter 1 - so he is good at something besides looking good?
.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Changmin/Yoochun (minor Yunho/Jaejoong and Junsu/FC)
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd make Yoochun play the piano naked.
Warnings: AU
Word Count: 3633
A/N: I'M BACK!!! YAY!!!
Summary: It's the last year of high school, and Changmin doesn't expect it to be any different than the previous three. And then he finds out that Park Yoochun plays the piano. Tickling the ivories never felt this good.
A/N: This story, unlike the previous ones I've posted, is not finished. So updates will not be as frequent.
This story is in first person, told from Changmin's POV.
Chapter 8 - things come to a head, no, not that kind of head
Yoochun and Junsu were at my locker the next morning. Yoochun’s eyes went wide when he saw my face.
“Holy fuck,” Junsu muttered.
I shrugged and opened my locker.
“You okay?” Yoochun whispered and touched my arm softly.
“Yeah.”
“Are you grounded even more?”
“Surprisingly, no. My mom actually said that she understood. The more she pushes me, the more I’ll defy her. I’ve been the perfect fucking son for my whole life, and honestly, it’s a rush to break the rules sometimes.”
Yoochun smiled. “Until you get used to it. Then it just becomes second nature.”
“The original punishment still stands,” I said. “Grounded for two weeks, but my mom said as long as I don’t get into anymore trouble and I don’t skip any more classes that this cut lip is punishment enough.”
“Yeah, it should be.” Yoochun hugged me tightly.
“What happened with Yunho and Jaejoong?” I asked.
They both smirked.
“We have no idea,” Junsu said. “They’re not here yet, and neither one of them is answering their phone. If I were them, I wouldn’t want to get out of bed.”
I smiled.
“Do you think you can meet me in a bathroom middle of third period?” Yoochun whispered.
With a raised eyebrow, I asked, “Don’t you have algebra third period?”
Yoochun pouted. “It’s been two days. I need you.”
This time it was my turn to smirk. “Too bad. See you at lunch.” I ducked into my first class.
At lunch, I met him outside my classroom and with no qualms followed him to the lunch room. I hadn’t actually eaten in the cafeteria for years. It was noisy and crowded and the different smells assailed my nose and I longed for the peace of the library. Yoochun led the way to a table occupied only by Junsu. The other tables around it were packed with students.
“I take it this is the table reserved for loyalty,” I asked as I sat down.
“And their concubines,” Yoochun said with a smile. “Perks of being popular.”
Junsu was scarfing down his noodles like they were going to disappear on him. He paused long enough to say, “Just wait ten seconds, Min.”
Before I could ask for what, a girl appeared at Yoochun’s shoulder.
“Yoochun oppa?” she whispered.
Yoochun smiled at her. “Hello, Miyoung.”
She blushed madly and handed him a container. “I made this for you.”
Yoochun took it. “Thank you, Miyoung.”
Another girl brought another container, and then another after that.
I shook my head in disbelief as Yoochun opened them and grinned. “Black bean noodles,” he whispered. “I love these.”
Junsu laughed. “He has to say stuff like that quietly or he’ll get nothing but black bean noodles for a month.”
I ate my paltry rice and meat, and then eyed some of Yoochun’s food. He smiled and pushed a container toward me. “Eat up. I can never finish them myself, and without Jae and Yunho here, there’s way too much for me.”
“Ah, the cast offs,” I said, but ate them anyway.
As soon as Yoochun was done eating, a couple of girls from his entourage appeared and sat across from us.
“Hey, Yoochun oppa, Junsu oppa,” one said, ignoring me, but the other one met my eyes and said hello to me and then blushed.
“Changmin, that’s Yuri.”
I said my greetings.
“Where’s Yunho oppa?” the other demanded of Yoochun.
Yoochun ignored her.
Yuri smiled and shoved her friend and then asked me, “Do you know where Yunho oppa is, Changmin oppa?”
“Sorry, Yuri-shi, but we have no idea where Yunho or Jaejoong are.”
“Yunho oppa promised to walk me to classes today,” the other said with a pout.
“Maybe that’s why he didn’t come then, Sohee,” Yuri said.
Yoochun burst out laughing, and Sohee glared at her friend. Yuri ignored her and continued to look at me. “Why were they fighting yesterday, Changmin oppa?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Just a misunderstanding.”
“Oh, but they’re okay now?”
“We assume so,” Junsu said. “Either that or they killed each other and that’s why they’re not here.”
The girls giggled.
Yoochun stood up. “Hey, Min, let’s go take a walk. Junsu, I’m sure you can take care of this?” he said, gesturing at the two girls.
Junsu grinned. “With pleasure, Chunnie.”
We stood up and left the cafeteria to wonder the halls. We went outside and Yoochun walked to the parking lot and lit a cigarette.
“You shouldn’t smoke,” I said.
He smiled around an exhale of smoke. “You shouldn’t masturbate.”
I laughed.
We lay on the grass and looked up at the sky. The wind was blowing. I rubbed my arms for warmth.
Our peaceful silence was broken when something heavy landed on Yoochun.
“Chunnie!”
And then Jae started tickling him. Yoochun laughed and begged him to stop and then turned to me to plead for help. I shook my head and watched, until Yoochun took his lit cigarette and touched Jae’s arm with it.
Jae yelped and jumped back, rubbing his arm. “You fucker. That hurt.”
“Serves you right,” Yoochun said, sitting up. “Where’s your other half?”
Jae blushed and bit his lip. “Home. He said he didn’t feel like getting out of bed.”
“And?” Yoochun asked.
“And what?”
“How was it?”
Jae sighed and flopped on the grass. “Is amazing a good enough description?”
“No.”
“He’s better than you,” Jae said and then moved away when Yoochun went to smack him. He laughed. “I’m kidding. Gosh. Of course, it was odd and awkward and he was nervous and oh my god, Micky, he’s absolutely, fabulously perfect.”
“Details.”
“No,” Jae said with a pout. “I promised him I wouldn’t.”
Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Oh, I get it. Now that you have what you want, he’s more important than I am.”
“Don’t say that, Yoochun, I just promised him. Trust me, he’s embarrassed by it.”
“Why? He’s hung like a horse.”
“Oh, believe me. I know.” Jae moaned and then laughed a bit. “You can tease him the next time you see him, but I won’t betray his confidence.”
“What did he say anyway? Or can you not tell us that either?”
Jae lay on his back and stared at the sky. “Just that even with all the girls, he never could stop thinking about me. Kinda the same as me, just gave up on it.”
The bell rang.
Yoochun tossed his cigarette away. “Are you coming to class?”
“Do I look dressed to come to class?” He wore jeans and a t-shirt.
“No, and that’s Yunho’s shirt.”
Jae brought it to his nose and sniffed. “Yeah, it is.”
Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Sappy Jaejoong.”
“Better than Moody Jaejooong.”
“You’ll always be moody,” Yoochun said and gave him a hug.
“See you guys later,” Jae said and headed to his car and we headed back to school.
“I hate lunch,” Yoochun said.
“Why?”
“It just makes the rest of the day so long.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I walk you home later? Is that allowed?”
I shrugged. “I guess so. My mom never said you couldn’t.”
“Kay.”
---
A week went by. Yoochun met me every morning on my way to school, and then he walked me home.
We stole moments in the bathrooms, in the library, behind a tree between home and school. Heated kisses, groping hands, sliding bodies. Longer moments were full of brisk hand jobs and even brisker blow jobs.
But we talked. Yoochun was still pretty withdrawn, preferring to talk of nonsensical things like our favorite movies and books and video games. He talked about America, and the differences between there and Korea. But he always steered the questions away from his family.
And I liked him. A lot. Every day, I realized I smiled wider whenever I saw him.
The second week was worse. Both of us were horny, frustrated and irritable. We constantly snapped at each other and the others. And on more than one occasion I found myself wanting to slap the smug look of satisfaction off Yunho and Jaejoong’s faces.
I ate lunch with them every day, laughing, being teased and teasing back. By the middle of the second week, girls were bringing me food, too. And presents. I was utterly shocked when Yuri brought me a homemade scarf with my name on it.
She blushed crimson when (after getting a helpful nudge in the ribs from Yoochun to get me to close my mouth) I stammered my thanks and immediately wrapped it around my neck.
“She likes you,” Yunho had said with a smile.
“Too bad for her,” Yoochun snapped back and slid a bit closer to me.
“I don’t know,” I said, making it look like I was thinking about it. “I should find out what both teams are like, shouldn’t I? Decide which one I-”
I never finished my sentence as Yoochun growled and grabbed my crotch under the table.
The other guys laughed when I yelped.
The day after my punishment ended, Yoochun wasn’t in school. None of the others knew where he was. I sent him text after text. My mood worsened as the day dragged on, and then after school, at my locker, just as I was about to go home, my phone vibrated.
< ur late for ur piano lessons >
I smiled and headed toward the music room.
“Changmin!”
I turned around. Jae, Junsu and Yunho walked toward me.
“Are you coming to the café with us?” Jae asked.
“No, not today.”
“First day of freedom though.”
I smirked. “Yeah, let’s just say I already have plans.”
“But Yoochun isn’t here,” Junsu said.
“Oh, I know. I’ll see you guys later.”
I left them to look at each other in confusion. Yunho muttered something about ‘crazy smart bastard’ and then I turned a corner. It took all my self control not to run to the music room. The room was dark, but soft notes floated on the air. I stood at the door and listened for a few moments. When I finally opened the door, Yoochun had moved from playing single notes to a lofty composition.
I shut the door and as an afterthought pushed a chair under the doorknob.
“That’s against the fire code,” Yoochun said.
“Are you planning on starting a fire?”
“Depends on how hot you make me.”
I groaned. “That was really lame.”
Yoochun laughed.
I sat on the bench behind him.
“I finished that song. Do you want to hear it?”
“Um, of course!”
“Now, before I play it, I want you to know that I wrote it for Jaejoong.”
“Okay,” I said carefully, trying to remember the half finished lyrics I had read a few weeks ago.
“If you remember, I said I had been working on it for two months, right, so before all of this with you, so you can’t get jealous.”
“I’m not. He’s your best friend.”
“I hope you feel the same way after you hear it.”
Yoochun started playing. After a subdued intro, he started singing. His voice was good, deeper than mine, rough and scratchy, but perfectly in tune.
What would you see if you tried to find
who you are inside?
What would I see if you let me in
to chase away the pain?
What do you want your life to be
when you go away?
Where will we be if I let you go
when I need you to stay?
I hear the tears
and pleas you keep behind the perfect smile
I feel the aches
and pains you keep behind the head held high
I cry, too, seeing you like this
I hurt, too, watching you like this
When will you look and see yourself
the way that I see you?
When will you know and understand
I’m nothing without you?
I hear the tears
and pleas you keep behind the perfect smile
I feel the aches
And pains you keep behind the head held high
I cry, too, seeing you like this
I hurt, too, watching you like this
When can I tell you that you are
everything I need?
When will you tell me how to be
everything you need?
Someday you’ll heal
Someday you’ll shine
Someday you’ll feel complete
I hear the tears
And pleas you keep buried deep inside
I feel the aches
And pains you keep just beyond the pride
Why won’t you let me in?
I hear the tears
I feel the aches
I cry, too, seeing you like this
I hurt, too, watching you like this
Why won’t you let me in?
I waited until the very last echoes faded.
“That is really good,” I said. “You’re absolutely amazing.”
“Thanks. So you’re not mad?”
“No. It was really nice.”
Yoochun turned and looked at me. “You’re crazy. It’s practically a love song for another man, you realize.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, thank you. I got that. But Jaejoong is your best friend. I think you should play it for him.”
“What? No way.”
“Why not?”
Yoochun held his hands above the keys, but didn’t touch them.
“He’s your best friend, and-”
“I know, okay.” Yoochun slammed the cover shut and stood up. He stalked over to the windows.
“Why do you hide it?” I whispered.
“We’re more alike than you think, Shim Changmin-shi,” he said finally. “We both have mother’s who love us, but won’t stand up to our fathers. We both have fathers who view us as dirt upon their shoes no matter how we strive to be to impress them.”
He turned and looked at me for a long moment. “I came back to Korea because my father caught me with another boy and almost beat me to death. I was in the hospital for two weeks. He utterly destroyed the other boy’s life. He was older than me by a couple years, so obviously, it was his fault for corrupting me. My father shut down his parents’ grocery store and got him and his older sister kicked out of school.”
I took a sharp breath.
“My mother sent me back here, covering the whole incident as me not grasping the language and not doing well in school and a bunch of other bullshit. They pay my tuition and they pay my grandparents and aunt and uncle to look after me. The only thing I was good at in America was playing the piano, and it was the only thing my father took away from me. I’m not allowed to play at home. I can’t even lift the cover of the piano at home. I do, of course, when I’m alone, but this is the only place where I can be me.”
I stared at him until he turned back to the window. I made an instinctual decision and stood up and covered the distance between us.
“Jae is part of you, even I can see that,” I said, holding him close.
“Maybe.”
“He is. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t have written that song for him. And it makes me feel bad, because I’ve known you for less than a month and yet, I get to hear this, and he’s known you your whole life, and he doesn’t.”
“I’ve thought about telling him, telling them all, but-” Yoochun sighed. “I figure it’ll just be easier when I’m out of school, at the university or something.”
“It’s a really good song.”
“Thanks.”
After a moment of silence, I took a deep breath. Now or never, no matter how pissed at me he was going to get.
“This is odd,” I said.
“What?”
“This is the first time we’ve been alone for two weeks and we’re both still fully clothed.”
Yoochun laughed. “Are you saying we should fix that?”
“No.”
Before he could voice his confusion, I spun him around, pinned his body to mine with one arm and dug his cell phone out of his pocket.
“Min, what are you doing?”
“Oh, nothing,” I said, and managed to navigate and hit the send button on his phone.
Then he started struggling. “Changmin, don’t. Don’t you dare!”
Jae said hello in my ear.
“Hey, Jae. It’s Changmin. Are you busy?”
“Changmin! Don’t! This isn’t fair!”
“What’s going on?” Jae demanded.
“I have to go,” I said, struggling to hold Yoochun’s squirming body. “Just come to the music room at school. And come alone, please.”
The phone clattered to the floor, and Yoochun went limp against me.
“Damn you,” he said. “It’s not any of your business, you fucker.”
“Sure, it is. You want to tell him, don’t you? I think you’re scared.”
Yoochun pushed away from me, and I let him go.
I went back to the piano and played the upper notes of the melody. Or at least I tried. I butchered them royally. On one bad note, I saw Yoochun wince, so I hit more bad notes until he glared over his shoulder at me.
“Stop. You’re murdering it.”
“I know. Come play.”
“Fuck you,” he said and turned away.
“Yoochun, if you didn’t want to tell him, you’d already be gone and half way home by now.”
He grunted, but he didn’t leave. I continued to play simple notes.
There was a knock on the door about fifteen minutes later. “Changmin!” Jae shouted. “I swear if you’ve hurt Yoochun I’m going to kill you.”
I laughed and stood up. “Hang on,” I replied and moved the chair and opened the door.
Jae rushed in, saw Yoochun standing safely and took a deep breath. “What the fuck is going on?”
I looked at Yoochun. The accusation in his eyes was overshadowed by hurt and confusion, and then he swallowed.
“I need a cigarette.” He stalked past us. I grabbed his arm, but he wrenched it free.
“Lover’s quarrel?” Jae asked with a carefully uplifted eyebrow.
“Your fault,” I said.
“What? Why?”
“Come here,” I said and led him to the piano where Yoochun’s music sheets were still laid out. I gathered them up and handed them to him. I tapped the first one. In the top corner, written in Yoochun’s neat handwriting, were the English words, “Jaejoong’s Song.”
Jae’s eyes went wide. “What is this?”
“He wrote you a song.”
“He wrote-” His eyes scanned the lyrics and then he flipped to the next page, and the next. “He wrote this?” and then again louder, “He wrote this!”
“Yeah.”
Tears formed in the corners of his eyes.
“You should hear him play it,” I said. “It’s amazing.”
“Play?”
“Yeah, the piano. He’s practically a master pianist.”
Jae gaped at me, mouth open, and tears fell. “He plays the piano?” he whispered.
I nodded. His hands clutched the music sheets, wrinkling them and then suddenly his knees gave out. I caught him and lowered him to the piano bench. He read the lyrics again, and again.
“Why didn’t he tell me?”
“It’s his, I guess,” I replied. “His escape. His coping mechanism.”
“Why did you call me?”
“Because you deserve to know.”
“He obviously didn’t want me to know.”
I smiled at him. “Yeah, he did. He just didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Hey, Jae. I can play the piano. How fucking hard is that?”
“Hey, Yunho, I love you. How fucking hard is that?” Yoochun demanded from the door.
“This is different,” Jae said, waving the sheets at him.
Yoochun came right to the piano. He put his palms together and then spread them apart, showing that he wanted us to move. We slid apart and Yoochun sat between us.
He played the song again, without singing, just the music. Jae never took his eyes off Yoochun’s face.
And then the song ended.
Yoochun took a breath, and I realized he was crying. He again held his hands just above the keys. Jae put his head on Yoochun’s shoulder.
Yoochun played it again, and this time sang. More emotion, and more pain and need sounded through his voice as he sang through his tears. Jae wrapped his arms around his middle and held him.
When he was finished, he looked at me, and then down at Jae.
I shrugged and then nodded. I didn’t mind.
Yoochun hugged Jae tightly to him.
“Don’t you think for one second that just because you wrote me an amazing song that you’re off the hook for keeping this from me,” Jae said, voice muffled against Yoochun’s shoulder. “You’re in so much trouble and as soon as I can-damn it, Micky, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just-”
“No,” Jae said and pushed up from him. “You’re sitting here, in this song, accusing me of keeping you away when you’re doing the exact same thing to me.”
“I know.”
“And god damn it, Micky, you’re good. You’re really, really good.”
Yoochun looked away.
“Tell him, Min.”
“I have. Many times.”
Jaejoong smacked Yoochun’s shoulder. “Sing it again.”
Yoochun smiled, but did as he was told, and then Jae demanded that he play something else, and then something after that, and then after that.
My phone suddenly started beeping.
“What the hell?” Jae said, as Yoochun stopped playing.
“That just means I have to go home,” I said and stood up.
Jae frowned at Yoochun. “You’re not leaving, too, are you?”
Yoochun looked up at me.
I smiled and shook my head. “Stay. I know my way home.”
Jae clapped and squealed and said, “Okay, keep playing.”
Yoochun laughed. “Hang on, hang on.”
He stood up and hugged me tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered and then captured my mouth in a deep kiss that left me breathless and light headed when he pulled away.
“Call me later,” I said with a loopy smile.
“I will."
Chapter 9 - things come to a head, yes, that kind of head
Chapter 7 - Whirlwinds of WTF-ery
Chapter 6 - not so much talking
Chapter 5 - talking is really overrated
Chapter 4 - written notes, math notes, class notes, music notes ... whatever
Chapter 3 - at least i'm better at math than he is
Chapter 2 - oh my god, something else he's good at
Chapter 1 - so he is good at something besides looking good?
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