The Start of Boy Drama: Yay?
College: academics are only slightly secondary to social life at the moment. Making new friends, excellent people blah blah blah. Grades, um... moving on.
But I didn't come back to LJ because everything is just peachy, but who does?
Background: I've discovered I'm incredibly picky with boys. During Full Moon on the Quad (a Stanford tradition) I was surrounded by some semi- and some really good-looking boys flat-out making-out. For the record, I kissed ("made out" is waay too strong for what actually happened) three of them, none of which was fun or exciting. I got more sexual satisfaction surfing cars on the net. It was mechanical, uninspiring.
And so, I realised that despite being a sex-deprived horny teenage boy, I need a relationship-type thing going on with one for anything at all to be sexy to me. And I'm not attracted to flamboyant boys. I like them just fine, and some are my friends, but they do just about as much as girls do for me sexually. So I ended up figuring out that I want a non-flamboyant, semi-nerdy, sensitive and playful guy. There are tons of guys like that here, all of whom, predictably, are straight.
So.
I like this boy. Everyone's shocked, I know. In fact, I liked about seven or so, the usual slew of nice, cute straight boys, but then this one time I was being a stalker looking people up on Facebook, by which I mean I was simply looking around for fellow Battlestar Galactica fans. I saw a cute one, so I was like "oh well, let's look him up then."
And he's gay.
Which was a big explosion of joy for me, seeing that I'd finally found the kind of guy I was looking for. He's a genius computer programmer, a boy-next-door-type and a 'nice Jewish boy' to boot, with a cute smile, named Izaak. So far, I've exchanged less than ten words, but I've sat next to him, which just screams "Be my boyfriend damnit" I know. One of my hallmates knows him and went to high school with him though, so she was going to invite him over for a little socializing (since Branner is the king of dorms and consequently the most cool) at which point he would recognize me from various gay activities we've attended and I would, in theory, strike up an immensely interesting and stimulating intellectual conversation followed by a feeling-ful more personal bonding conversation that would sweep him off his feet and get us to at least shaking hands for too long.
That's still the plan, only one of the guys downstairs (ironically another one I had a thing for originally because of his meeting Arty requirements) was being friendly with him today. Granted he was a bit inebriated, and Izaak reportedly did not reciprocate, but it makes me uneasy regardless. And suddenly I'm getting this jealousy thing. Fuck this sucks.
So that's got me thinking: this is good in a way because I can no longer put off this shit and just tell myself that "it'll come" or "just wait for it"
Waiting is fucking over.
Problem? I don't like hanging out with the "gay crowd" for various reasons, and that's mostly the only place we could meet spontaneously.
He lives on the other side of campus too.
All of which just means it'll be slightly more difficult to get him.
Also: drama will be avoided inasmuch as possible. After all, it is ultimately Izaak's choice, and the other guy has full right to pursue him. Hell, he has good taste to do so.
But damn, I want him.
Damn.
But I didn't come back to LJ because everything is just peachy, but who does?
Background: I've discovered I'm incredibly picky with boys. During Full Moon on the Quad (a Stanford tradition) I was surrounded by some semi- and some really good-looking boys flat-out making-out. For the record, I kissed ("made out" is waay too strong for what actually happened) three of them, none of which was fun or exciting. I got more sexual satisfaction surfing cars on the net. It was mechanical, uninspiring.
And so, I realised that despite being a sex-deprived horny teenage boy, I need a relationship-type thing going on with one for anything at all to be sexy to me. And I'm not attracted to flamboyant boys. I like them just fine, and some are my friends, but they do just about as much as girls do for me sexually. So I ended up figuring out that I want a non-flamboyant, semi-nerdy, sensitive and playful guy. There are tons of guys like that here, all of whom, predictably, are straight.
So.
I like this boy. Everyone's shocked, I know. In fact, I liked about seven or so, the usual slew of nice, cute straight boys, but then this one time I was being a stalker looking people up on Facebook, by which I mean I was simply looking around for fellow Battlestar Galactica fans. I saw a cute one, so I was like "oh well, let's look him up then."
And he's gay.
Which was a big explosion of joy for me, seeing that I'd finally found the kind of guy I was looking for. He's a genius computer programmer, a boy-next-door-type and a 'nice Jewish boy' to boot, with a cute smile, named Izaak. So far, I've exchanged less than ten words, but I've sat next to him, which just screams "Be my boyfriend damnit" I know. One of my hallmates knows him and went to high school with him though, so she was going to invite him over for a little socializing (since Branner is the king of dorms and consequently the most cool) at which point he would recognize me from various gay activities we've attended and I would, in theory, strike up an immensely interesting and stimulating intellectual conversation followed by a feeling-ful more personal bonding conversation that would sweep him off his feet and get us to at least shaking hands for too long.
That's still the plan, only one of the guys downstairs (ironically another one I had a thing for originally because of his meeting Arty requirements) was being friendly with him today. Granted he was a bit inebriated, and Izaak reportedly did not reciprocate, but it makes me uneasy regardless. And suddenly I'm getting this jealousy thing. Fuck this sucks.
So that's got me thinking: this is good in a way because I can no longer put off this shit and just tell myself that "it'll come" or "just wait for it"
Waiting is fucking over.
Problem? I don't like hanging out with the "gay crowd" for various reasons, and that's mostly the only place we could meet spontaneously.
He lives on the other side of campus too.
All of which just means it'll be slightly more difficult to get him.
Also: drama will be avoided inasmuch as possible. After all, it is ultimately Izaak's choice, and the other guy has full right to pursue him. Hell, he has good taste to do so.
But damn, I want him.
Damn.