(no subject)
In the time that I have to waste on delayed flights, I can do some thinking. Since someone treated me like I usually treat others (yanno dismissive to those who aren’t bout shit) I’ve been lead to kinda do some self-evaluation. I don’t think I’ve experienced a situation where someone who I thought was worth keeping around shitted on me like I’ve done to so many other people. Typically people try to cut me off because I’ve done something where I stroke my ego or intelligence and it’s evident in the divisions between us… does that make sense ? People generally cut me off in a response to me deciding that I don’t want to deal with them or that we’re in a different place at this point of our lives. I don’t do babysitting… I’m not patient. I don’t really have the effort to get to know you after you’ve shown your ass and played yourself… Hopefully that makes sense. But for once in my life I found myself asking someone else to treat me a little differently than how I treat others. I think everyone who can say they really know me would admit and agree that I’ve consistently lacked the capacity to put up for simple-minded people and their antics, and I very rarely apologize for it. It’s something that makes me… well me. My closest friends know that I’m thoroughly impatient. My family knows that. It’s just a trait that isn’t going anywhere. I’m sorry, it aint gon happen, and that’s what it is.
But I will admit that suddenly… It’s funny how at some point in my life I knew that I was gon have to change it, just because that’s the way things happen. No one wants a bad rap, but I mean if you’re consistently not bout shit, then it’s established. I mean but when is it too early to establish your dispositions about someone, because reflective in how you feel about that person… your whole interactions with those people are changed, yanno ? If you think that someone is a thief.. you aint gon leave them in ya house by themselves… but that’s because you have developed these thoughts about the people. Unfortunately as of recent I’ve learned that people feel some kinda way about me, and that they opt not to deal with me… which is fine. But people are throwing out words such as manipulative, liar, and sex crazed. That last one is funny. It’s just funny when people give you a bad rap, and kno I’m guilty of it too byt damn, I didn’t think I did it like that ! lol. I think I’m rambling…. I think it sums up to it being that when someone who’s opinion you value tells you that you aint shit, or have some traits that are something that you honestly can’t see… that kinda throws you off… I wish someone would tell me that they aren’t really inclinded to mess with me because I’m loud or obnoxious… I’d laugh, cause those are traits that I would openly admit that I have when I’m dealing with people… that’s ok. But things like liar ? Those are things that catch me blindsided, and I guess I’m just trying to figure out if that’s really me… It’s a thin line between being cocky and not allowing someone to influence you by their thoughts, and then being so self absorbed and not being able to recognize when people are telling you what the deal really is. Yanno ? If 1 person says you aint shit, you might brush it off, and be like it’s just them… but if 4,5,6 people say it… at what point do you step back and ask yourself… well am I ?
- Woods
But I will admit that suddenly… It’s funny how at some point in my life I knew that I was gon have to change it, just because that’s the way things happen. No one wants a bad rap, but I mean if you’re consistently not bout shit, then it’s established. I mean but when is it too early to establish your dispositions about someone, because reflective in how you feel about that person… your whole interactions with those people are changed, yanno ? If you think that someone is a thief.. you aint gon leave them in ya house by themselves… but that’s because you have developed these thoughts about the people. Unfortunately as of recent I’ve learned that people feel some kinda way about me, and that they opt not to deal with me… which is fine. But people are throwing out words such as manipulative, liar, and sex crazed. That last one is funny. It’s just funny when people give you a bad rap, and kno I’m guilty of it too byt damn, I didn’t think I did it like that ! lol. I think I’m rambling…. I think it sums up to it being that when someone who’s opinion you value tells you that you aint shit, or have some traits that are something that you honestly can’t see… that kinda throws you off… I wish someone would tell me that they aren’t really inclinded to mess with me because I’m loud or obnoxious… I’d laugh, cause those are traits that I would openly admit that I have when I’m dealing with people… that’s ok. But things like liar ? Those are things that catch me blindsided, and I guess I’m just trying to figure out if that’s really me… It’s a thin line between being cocky and not allowing someone to influence you by their thoughts, and then being so self absorbed and not being able to recognize when people are telling you what the deal really is. Yanno ? If 1 person says you aint shit, you might brush it off, and be like it’s just them… but if 4,5,6 people say it… at what point do you step back and ask yourself… well am I ?
- Woods