i hate myself
my pc is still broken :/....yea thats y i havent updated. does any1 ever read my journal anymore? well im really upset right now so im gonna use this entry to complain about life. i cut again. i cut down my wrist and on the top of my wrist and on my stomache. i put a B on my wrist and a D on my stomach. i havent really eaten all day either. I think im getting fatter. i burned my hand really badly with a lighter. i smoked a ciggerette the other day and ive been drinking stuff left over from the fourth of july. im sick of bending over backwards and breaking my back just to get a guy to like me. I havent had a bf in god knos how long. i hate being alone. i think i have some kind of form of "seperation anxiety". i hate being single. being in a relationship can cause stress but i think trying to start a relationship with sum1 causes even more stress. im sick of being obsessed with multiple amounts of ppl. guyz i like would rather be friends wit benefits than actual bf and gf.i feel like they jus wanna use me. i wanna feel like i can love sum1 who will actually love me back. i dont kno what im gonna do with myself. im sick of feeling the way that i do. i always feel so lonely. and im so selfish. if i dont get my way i go crazy...which i hate about myself. thats one of my problems. i hate so many things about myself. i need something i can trust and beleive in. ive been backstabbed and lied to sooo many times that ive lost trust in anything and i have nothing to beleive in. i wish there really was a "happily ever after" but im pretty sure its just a myth. i really hope thingz get better soon....