(no subject)
In addition to being a rather horrible person, I am also a ridiculous person.
On a less vague note, finding a 10-11:20 Tuesday Thursday class is far too difficult.
I find myself humming really happy tunes every where I go these days. I have no idea why. It doesn't make any sense considering how I mostly hate life at the moment.
Not to say I'm going to do anything foolish, but comparing how life is going to now to how it's been going at times in the past, it's not so hot, relatively speaking.
I keep falling asleep at 5 in the afternoon and then waking up sometime during the night. I'm not even nocturnal, I just have some weird sleep schedule. Going to try to fix it today with a well placed nap.
I don't really enjoy school anymore. That's a pretty big part of the problem right now. I had a lot of fun in lab yesterday. I really did. I just... I hate going to class. I really do. I am not excited about going. Once I'm there, I'm usually pretty content. But... the going. I don't like it at all.
I may just hate the cold, or maybe I'm just even more lazy than I realize. That's just how I feel.
I guess I just want to get away. From everything. In a way, I am starting over. Everything I have done for almost a year now is gone, everything that people used to know me by was shown to be at least partially false, and I am starting from near square one in some cases, and starting in the negative in others.
"What?"
"Nothing."
That exchange could define my past year. Very sad that it was one of the first exchanges I had this year, even if I asked the question instead of gave the answer, as it usually went.
I suppose livejournals are in a way cryptic to other readers, even if they try not to be so. I somewhat try to be so, and I wonder if that is a form of lying that I should avoid. I guess I don't like spelling things out, maybe I should.
I need to get music again. I need to liven up my room.
To those whom it needs to be said to: I am very, very sorry.
Being known as a liar is a particularly bad label. A liar is someone you should not believe, and as such it is difficult for someone who is labeled as such to talk to people, for all the people he or she talks to will treat her with contempt, dubiousness, mockery, or some combination of these. A liar who claims that he or she is no longer one, or is trying to improve can only expect (rightfully so) to be met with skepticism. How does a liar remove the burden of his label? Can a liar ever prove that she no longer lies?
Liar: I don't lie anymore, I swear!
Audience: The last time we believed you, we were decieved, why should we believe you now?
Liar: I'm different, I swear!
Audience: Mmhmm.
I thought about it, and I guess that being a liar, in this particular aspect, is worse than being a murderer or thief, or the like. People know when someone steals or kills, and as such people know when someone stops engaging in these activities because there are ramifications that can be observed immediately in the physical world.
No one will know when I stop being a liar. Except me. And then, it will be up to me, to convince others that I have really stopped.
And they will have no reason to believe me.
I need to find a class now. Otherwise I fail out of school.
See you later, LJ.
On a less vague note, finding a 10-11:20 Tuesday Thursday class is far too difficult.
I find myself humming really happy tunes every where I go these days. I have no idea why. It doesn't make any sense considering how I mostly hate life at the moment.
Not to say I'm going to do anything foolish, but comparing how life is going to now to how it's been going at times in the past, it's not so hot, relatively speaking.
I keep falling asleep at 5 in the afternoon and then waking up sometime during the night. I'm not even nocturnal, I just have some weird sleep schedule. Going to try to fix it today with a well placed nap.
I don't really enjoy school anymore. That's a pretty big part of the problem right now. I had a lot of fun in lab yesterday. I really did. I just... I hate going to class. I really do. I am not excited about going. Once I'm there, I'm usually pretty content. But... the going. I don't like it at all.
I may just hate the cold, or maybe I'm just even more lazy than I realize. That's just how I feel.
I guess I just want to get away. From everything. In a way, I am starting over. Everything I have done for almost a year now is gone, everything that people used to know me by was shown to be at least partially false, and I am starting from near square one in some cases, and starting in the negative in others.
"What?"
"Nothing."
That exchange could define my past year. Very sad that it was one of the first exchanges I had this year, even if I asked the question instead of gave the answer, as it usually went.
I suppose livejournals are in a way cryptic to other readers, even if they try not to be so. I somewhat try to be so, and I wonder if that is a form of lying that I should avoid. I guess I don't like spelling things out, maybe I should.
I need to get music again. I need to liven up my room.
To those whom it needs to be said to: I am very, very sorry.
Being known as a liar is a particularly bad label. A liar is someone you should not believe, and as such it is difficult for someone who is labeled as such to talk to people, for all the people he or she talks to will treat her with contempt, dubiousness, mockery, or some combination of these. A liar who claims that he or she is no longer one, or is trying to improve can only expect (rightfully so) to be met with skepticism. How does a liar remove the burden of his label? Can a liar ever prove that she no longer lies?
Liar: I don't lie anymore, I swear!
Audience: The last time we believed you, we were decieved, why should we believe you now?
Liar: I'm different, I swear!
Audience: Mmhmm.
I thought about it, and I guess that being a liar, in this particular aspect, is worse than being a murderer or thief, or the like. People know when someone steals or kills, and as such people know when someone stops engaging in these activities because there are ramifications that can be observed immediately in the physical world.
No one will know when I stop being a liar. Except me. And then, it will be up to me, to convince others that I have really stopped.
And they will have no reason to believe me.
I need to find a class now. Otherwise I fail out of school.
See you later, LJ.