(no subject)
So this week has been INSANE! and not the good kind, the "I wanna shoot myself in the head" insanity. So last week, my therapist was giving me crap about prioritizing and not being able to meet with her and shit like that. i got off the phone crying and i told my mom that I wasn't going to see her anymore. She told me to calm down and think about it.
A few days later, after my intestines were stewing and my anger had subsided I decided to do the last thing I ever wanted to do. I called the woman that referred me to her, my mother's therapist. our last encounter was horrible, it went "dont tell her how to feel" and all that bullshit. after that moment I swore to the zeus and his lightening bolts I would NEVER speak to her again, well hell froze over becuase I was desparate. I called her and talked to her about it. she otld me she found someone and was willing to talk to my shrink about everything. She called her and left a message while I was sitting there in tears because, "I'm not good at defending myself and am not good at confrontation." So she tlaked to her. my therapist is a bitch, can be a real bitch sometimes and is not afraid to show it. She will get pissy with me when i'm assertive about scheduling and money and all that stuff. So my moms therapsit called me during class. She said that my therapist got all pissy when she caller her out on her bitchiness but she was 100% dedicated to working with me. She wanted to help me so I gave her a chance. if she raised her voice or made it about her I was walking out the door and never looking back.
So I called her this morning, and we talked about scheduling and how there wasn't enough time in the day for us to find time becuase we are both busy. then we had a seriously nice, helpful session and I decided to keep going with her. we will see how that works out.
On top of that drama, I had a swim meet this weekend where I managed to work 18 hours this weekend. and i left early sunday so I could study. turns out I went and built a stage at church instead and got rug burn on my knees. fun! THEN I went home and found 6 boxes of girl scout cookies...very yummy! carmel delights, thin mints, shortbreads and these 100 cal packs of cinamon cookies which were delicious.
Then monday we went to the nursing home for research. It was an interesting experience...i flipped out at one point becuase I was doing all the work by myself and my partner had left me. not one of my proudest moments, especially when I was called out on it the next day...again not a good moment for miss Bethany.
So two tests this week. I have been writing this over the past couple of hours as class goes on and such. I've needed to get this off my chest for you don't know how long.
Tonight after my test, I'm going to see my Angela so we can have tacos before she goes in for wisdom teeth surgery and implant surgery.
I really miss you guys. I haven't seen people in forever and it's really upsetting becuase I have swim meets that last all weekend and by the time they are over I am exhausted and want to go to bed and do nothing. so basically I have nothing to do becuase i'm so fucking tired. I can't wait until steph's girly party...i'm making guiness brownies and jello shots. I plan on being VERY,VERY drunk on Saturday. This is all assuming I have no work due that weekend.
And as we speak I am preparing to study. granted i'm waiting for boris to get off the phone becuase he's placing orders for his business. he's selling sunglasses and I just need to study. I am just not good at studying by myself and it's good to study with someone to quiz them, but he's taking forever! OH well...just another 3 hours and I get to have taco's with angela and mama Vetri which will be sooooo much fun. I plan on having a drink to relax myself from this insane week of therapist drama, and my own hormones driving me insane. again, not the good "happy go lucky" insane, but the "I wanna shoot someone" insane.
Maybe I should scream or something to get my frustrations out again. Tuesday night I did that after my 3 hour nightmare class. I sat in my car and as i drove away I started screaming in my car. it was rather fun. I need some hardcore metal music to blast while i'm in a rage on the road to calm me down.
basically this post is a whole crapload of ramblings so if you are still reading, good for you! I'm quite proud that you have made it this far.
Tomorrow, orthopedist appointment, where hopefully he can tell me I can do whatever I want, then PT then going back to the nursing home to do more research!!!! Then another crazy weekend! Woo HOO. and saturday nigth I"m having Mr. PI sushi with Carol who I haven't seen in forever and miss soooooooooo much! It's gonna be a good night! Then next week I dont think I have any tests so YAY!!!
Oh and Monday I'm going to a farm...a farm where children ride horses for therapy. it's gonna be fun!
Ok I'm done...time for studying and Acing my test!!!
A few days later, after my intestines were stewing and my anger had subsided I decided to do the last thing I ever wanted to do. I called the woman that referred me to her, my mother's therapist. our last encounter was horrible, it went "dont tell her how to feel" and all that bullshit. after that moment I swore to the zeus and his lightening bolts I would NEVER speak to her again, well hell froze over becuase I was desparate. I called her and talked to her about it. she otld me she found someone and was willing to talk to my shrink about everything. She called her and left a message while I was sitting there in tears because, "I'm not good at defending myself and am not good at confrontation." So she tlaked to her. my therapist is a bitch, can be a real bitch sometimes and is not afraid to show it. She will get pissy with me when i'm assertive about scheduling and money and all that stuff. So my moms therapsit called me during class. She said that my therapist got all pissy when she caller her out on her bitchiness but she was 100% dedicated to working with me. She wanted to help me so I gave her a chance. if she raised her voice or made it about her I was walking out the door and never looking back.
So I called her this morning, and we talked about scheduling and how there wasn't enough time in the day for us to find time becuase we are both busy. then we had a seriously nice, helpful session and I decided to keep going with her. we will see how that works out.
On top of that drama, I had a swim meet this weekend where I managed to work 18 hours this weekend. and i left early sunday so I could study. turns out I went and built a stage at church instead and got rug burn on my knees. fun! THEN I went home and found 6 boxes of girl scout cookies...very yummy! carmel delights, thin mints, shortbreads and these 100 cal packs of cinamon cookies which were delicious.
Then monday we went to the nursing home for research. It was an interesting experience...i flipped out at one point becuase I was doing all the work by myself and my partner had left me. not one of my proudest moments, especially when I was called out on it the next day...again not a good moment for miss Bethany.
So two tests this week. I have been writing this over the past couple of hours as class goes on and such. I've needed to get this off my chest for you don't know how long.
Tonight after my test, I'm going to see my Angela so we can have tacos before she goes in for wisdom teeth surgery and implant surgery.
I really miss you guys. I haven't seen people in forever and it's really upsetting becuase I have swim meets that last all weekend and by the time they are over I am exhausted and want to go to bed and do nothing. so basically I have nothing to do becuase i'm so fucking tired. I can't wait until steph's girly party...i'm making guiness brownies and jello shots. I plan on being VERY,VERY drunk on Saturday. This is all assuming I have no work due that weekend.
And as we speak I am preparing to study. granted i'm waiting for boris to get off the phone becuase he's placing orders for his business. he's selling sunglasses and I just need to study. I am just not good at studying by myself and it's good to study with someone to quiz them, but he's taking forever! OH well...just another 3 hours and I get to have taco's with angela and mama Vetri which will be sooooo much fun. I plan on having a drink to relax myself from this insane week of therapist drama, and my own hormones driving me insane. again, not the good "happy go lucky" insane, but the "I wanna shoot someone" insane.
Maybe I should scream or something to get my frustrations out again. Tuesday night I did that after my 3 hour nightmare class. I sat in my car and as i drove away I started screaming in my car. it was rather fun. I need some hardcore metal music to blast while i'm in a rage on the road to calm me down.
basically this post is a whole crapload of ramblings so if you are still reading, good for you! I'm quite proud that you have made it this far.
Tomorrow, orthopedist appointment, where hopefully he can tell me I can do whatever I want, then PT then going back to the nursing home to do more research!!!! Then another crazy weekend! Woo HOO. and saturday nigth I"m having Mr. PI sushi with Carol who I haven't seen in forever and miss soooooooooo much! It's gonna be a good night! Then next week I dont think I have any tests so YAY!!!
Oh and Monday I'm going to a farm...a farm where children ride horses for therapy. it's gonna be fun!
Ok I'm done...time for studying and Acing my test!!!