i missed joke friday so it's joke sunday now
Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor
of the slopes as written by a New Orleans paper:
A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the
kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.
Conditions were perfect...12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic
numbness all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of
day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she
was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was
sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form! of
a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course,
and the pain did not go away.
If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then
you know that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters. With
time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband,
picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was
wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no =
one
would even notice. He assured her, "The white will provide more than
adequate camouflage." So she headed for the tree line, began lowering =
her
ski pants and proceeded to do her thing.
If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there
is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.
Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wron! g way. Steep =
slopes
are
not forgiving...even during the most embarrassing moments. Without
warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control,
racing through the trees...somehow missing all of them and onto
another slope.
Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down
around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while. She
continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual
vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and
finally
collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke
her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her =
husband
arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned the ski =
patrol.
They
transported her to a hospital.
While in the emergency room, a man with an o! bviously broken leg was
put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she
asked, making small talk. "It was the stupidest thing you ever
saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly, I couldn't
believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing backward,
out-of-control,
down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants,
mooning everyone. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of =
the
lift."
..... "Sooooo, how'd you break your arm?"
of the slopes as written by a New Orleans paper:
A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the
kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.
Conditions were perfect...12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic
numbness all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of
day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she
was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was
sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form! of
a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course,
and the pain did not go away.
If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then
you know that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters. With
time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband,
picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was
wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no =
one
would even notice. He assured her, "The white will provide more than
adequate camouflage." So she headed for the tree line, began lowering =
her
ski pants and proceeded to do her thing.
If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there
is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.
Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wron! g way. Steep =
slopes
are
not forgiving...even during the most embarrassing moments. Without
warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control,
racing through the trees...somehow missing all of them and onto
another slope.
Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down
around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while. She
continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual
vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and
finally
collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke
her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her =
husband
arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned the ski =
patrol.
They
transported her to a hospital.
While in the emergency room, a man with an o! bviously broken leg was
put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she
asked, making small talk. "It was the stupidest thing you ever
saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly, I couldn't
believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing backward,
out-of-control,
down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants,
mooning everyone. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of =
the
lift."
..... "Sooooo, how'd you break your arm?"