dark red
chanyeol/jongin
pg-13 | ~2.9k
[zombie!au] I'm still here, hyung, Jongin wants to say. But it's too hard right now, he's too weak and something else is inside him.
[!] violence, gore, self-harm, suicide & suicidal tendencies, character death
fill for this prompt on exopromptmeme
Inside the house that they managed to break into and settle in, there is a room with a thick glass door. Ever since the outbreak happened some years ago, almost all houses in the more expensive neighborhoods are equipped with it. Jongin is quite familiar with such room, since there was one back in his own house-a sterile room you use to keep the virus out, or the one you use to lock the virus in. The one in his house was where his family died, each with a gunshot to the head, delivered through tears and gritted teeth, and the last of his mother's sanity, crying for Jongin to save himself.
It's been too long since he survived this virus, and maybe Jongin shouldn't survive anymore. In a way, he's already lost to the zombies. There is a certain horror that doesn't leave you when you've seen so many of your friends and family die in the worst possible way. Some aren't themselves anymore, lost behind dead red eyes and decaying skin. Some aren't intact upon their death, devoured into pieces by the flesh-eating creatures. Some others died in your own hands, asking to be killed before they turn into something they don't wish to end up as. Jongin still wakes up with nightmares in the middle of the night, from Kyungsoo's voice begging for Jongin to take his life, from Sehun's eyes that were no longer his own, from the image of Joonmyun's bloody flesh and strands of blond hair between Zitao's teeth.
Jongin didn't even want to survive anymore. It's not really a life worth living when every day is a constant report of deaths, a continuous loss of people he knows. But along the way he met a boy who is too positive sometimes, and Chanyeol insists that one day, the whole thing will pass.
As for today, Jongin's heard that it's Baekhyun who has passed.
"Jongdae shot him," Chanyeol informs, voice wavering from the tears he's failing to hold back. Baekhyun's infected, Chanyeol said, out of nowhere, in their safe house. Jongin has heard how some people are catching the virus even without direct bites. Some say it's in the food. Some others mention something about targeted DNA. Either way, it doesn't look like the whole thing is going to pass any time soon. "And then he killed himself."
Chanyeol starts sobbing, and Jongin doesn't blame him at all. Baekhyun and Jongdae were some of their closest friends, the ones who bring them food when they had a good day surviving the city. Jongin doesn't know them as well as Chanyeol, but Jongin knows they were the last remains of Chanyeol's life before the virus. "I'm sorry," he whispers as he wraps his hands around Chanyeol, pulling the older one into a hug. "I'm sorry."
They fall asleep in each others' arms, and when Jongin screams himself awake from a nightmare, merely two hours later, Chanyeol is already up, crying next to him.
*
The first thing he notices is the change in his voice. He never really sounds good in the morning, but this time it doesn't even sound human. It's too low, and hoarse, and scratchy-it's hard even to get a decent good morning out.
Chanyeol notices it, too. "Do you want me to go get you some medicine?" he asks that day, eyebrows furrowed in concern. They still have plenty to live off of, and unless it's absolutely necessary, Jongin really doesn't want either of them to go out. He would rather stay in and watch the TV, although it's just a tedious rerun of old cartoons with the occasional breaking news.
Jongin shakes his head no. "I'll be okay," he answers, sounding the farthest from okay. Maybe he should try to sleep some more.
"Maybe you should sleep some more," Chanyeol says finally, still looking worried. He reaches to touch Jongin's cheek, stroking his face slightly, and Jongin feels his skin burn with heat.
It dawns on him then, what could be happening. Jongin jerks slightly from the realization, half hoping that Chanyeol doesn't notice. He gets on his feet urgently, shaking his head some more. Please, please, please, don't let Chanyeol notice. "Uh," he mutters. He doesn't think Chanyeol is aware of his panic, so at least that's a relief. "I think I'll take a bath."
"Okay," Chanyeol agrees, not questioning anything despite the rather confused look in his eyes. "I'll make you some tea. And chicken?"
Jongin grins, hoping it comes off as sincere. He nods quickly before rushing to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. In all honesty he's panicking inside, and he needs to look in the mirror right now to calm himself down. But what he sees does not relax him.
It takes a lot to notice the details, but Jongin has seen it way too many times to ignore it. He saw it on his mother, he saw it on Kyungsoo, he saw it on Sehun-and now he's seeing it on himself. There is a single red spot in his iris. One that he knows will spread until his eyes are blood red and hungry for meat. He takes off his shirt and easily spots dark specks of rotten skin, and it's confirmed, now, Jongin mourns. He's turning.
He doesn't think it's fair-he's been careful enough with everything he does, with everything he touches and everything he eats. But then again nothing about living in a world full of zombies is fair. Jongin slumps down to the floor and leans on the wall, bumping the back of his head repeatedly. If this happened last year, he would have been fine, content, even, glad to be free of this horrible place he's living in. He would have taken his shotgun and point it to his head, no hesitation in pulling the trigger and off himself.
But now he's got Chanyeol to think of, he's got his own feelings for Chanyeol to worry about. Jongin has never really told Chanyeol what he feels, although he's certain that Chanyeol knows. Love doesn't help much in this kind of life, and Jongin doesn't want to burden Chanyeol with feelings on top of the whole mess that is their universe. But now that he knows his time is up, really, Jongin just wants Chanyeol to know how thankful he is. How much happier he's been.
Tears are trickling down his face, and Jongin scratches his head in frustration, clawing some skin off the side of his head. The violent strike is coming, too, Jongin realizes as he tries to stop himself from peeling off his face. It normally takes seven hours for the transformation to take over completely. And maybe it's selfish, but he really just wants to have more time being normal with Chanyeol.
Maybe, maybe, just two hours would be okay.
*
This is as normal as it gets. Sitting on the couch, watching the same SpongeBob episode they watched last week and the week before, eating the chicken that Chanyeol prepared. Chanyeol has his arms around Jongin, and Jongin rests his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, taking in every last moment he gets to have. In another life, this would still be them on weekends, minus the wandering zombies outside, maybe plus one little girl or two. Or boys, Jongin doesn't really care.
The thought of Chanyeol with adorable children of their own makes Jongin smile, although it's hardly the appropriate time for that, given his condition. He should tell Chanyeol soon. It's not fair for either of them, but at least it would be safer for Chanyeol if Jongin tells him. He should tell Chanyeol soon.
Jongin lifts his head and pecks Chanyeol on the cheek, earning him an amused look from the taller boy. "What was that for?" he asks, obviously pleased because Jongin has never been the one to initiate kisses between the two of them.
Jongin shrugs, not wanting to say anything because God knows how bad he sounds right now, almost three hours into the change. He remembers everything Chanyeol has done for him-stopping him from killing himself, feeding him when he refused to eat in an attempt to starve himself to death, kissing him to sleep when the nightmares get overwhelming. Jongin smiles at Chanyeol, half wishing he had said I love you at least once, because that's how he feels about Chanyeol, he finally realizes. Now it's all too late, and even if he tries to say the words, the voice won't be his own. But still, thank you, he mouths, thank you for everything.
Chanyeol doesn't answer. Instead, he pulls Jongin into a kiss, and it burns and it stings, but the way his heart shatters hurts Jongin the most. As the kiss deepens Jongin finds himself wanting to bite on Chanyeol's lips, but then asking which part of him the urge comes from. The fear for Chanyeol's life is what makes Jongin push Chanyeol away, and the latter tries to grasp his arms and pull him back. But Jongin is already up, running away from Chanyeol and locking himself behind the glass door.
"Wha-Jongin?" Chanyeol has finally caught up with Jongin and finds him inside the confinement room. Jongin watches as Chanyeol searches his face and slowly understands what's happening. His expression falters into something Jongin has never seen on Chanyeol before-a mix of surprise, and sadness, and overall devastation. Jongin wishes he hadn't caused Chanyeol such pain, but what is there for him to do-this has all come as a surprise for him, too.
"I'm sorry," Jongin manages to croak out in an unfamiliar voice. His eyes are probably almost fully red, now. He can see the skin on the tips of his fingers perishing. He's already half a monster, but maybe he still has one or two more hours of being conscious. Before then he has to make sure Chanyeol kills him-otherwise he doesn't know what he's capable of doing. "This sucks."
Chanyeol still stares at him in a daze, his jaw hanging loosely as he steps forward to lean on the door. "How?" he asks finally with a strained voice. He sinks down to the floor and presses both hands on his head. "How," he repeats in a whisper Jongin can barely hear, thumping his head again and again to the glass surface separating the two of them.
Despite the ache in his chest, Jongin smiles weakly. He can feel the insides of his head slipping away and it gets harder to stop his hands from jerking, to stop himself from peeling skin off of his body. His vision is stained with red, and Chanyeol will probably look like a pile of dark meat by the time the virus takes over completely. "Chanyeol hyung," he calls with the last bits of his consciousness. "Chanyeol hyung, Chanyeol hyung," he just wants Chanyeol to know that he's still there. Just wants Chanyeol to know that even in his current state, Chanyeol is in his mind.
In between silent sobs, Chanyeol answers, "Jongin." Chanyeol is struggling to get words out. Jongin stays quiet as Chanyeol weeps, palms pressed on the door. Chanyeol gasps for air and tilts his head up to stop his tears. He turns to face Jongin, questioning with unsteady voice, "Jongin what are we going to do?"
Jongin quirks one eyebrow as an answer, as if saying you know what to do, but Chanyeol stares at him desperately, as if begging don't make me do it. "You have to," Jongin says, again with the foreign voice that is now his. It's so hard to breathe right now, and Jongin isn't sure if it's the aftereffect of the virus or the sight of a broken Chanyeol in front of him. "Please," he adds when Chanyeol doesn't answer.
Chanyeol presses his forehead on the glass door. "How long do we have?" he asks, searching Jongin's face. Jongin wonders how bad he looks right now-he knows half the skin on his cheek is already off, maybe his flesh is showing there. He knows his eyes are supposed to be red all over now, some parts of his face probably dark and rotten already. Maybe Jongin doesn't want Chanyeol to look at his face anymore. "Jongin," Chanyeol repeats in a much softer voice when Jongin starts covering his face. "Let me look at you, Jongin."
"Kill me," Jongin begs. "Right now."
There's a button on the side of the glass door. All Chanyeol has to do is press it, and in ten seconds the door will open, and Chanyeol has a split second to pull the trigger before the monster inside Jongin prances forward to kill him. There's a shotgun under the couch. There's a revolver in the drawer. It's so easy to end all of this, Jongin thinks. He really wants it to be over-what's the use of having Chanyeol so close if he doesn't get to touch him? What's the use if he has no power to tell him how much he wishes things were different, how much he wishes they could be together.
"Let me have you for another hour," Chanyeol pleads helplessly. Jongin remembers Jongdae, who was in too much pain to carry on without Baekhyun, and prays that Chanyeol is strong enough to move on. Jongin frantically starts writing down letters on the floor, a message for when Chanyeol loses him, last words written with his drying blood.
When he's done, Jongin nods slowly to Chanyeol. Maybe he won't be able to hold on for another hour, but he'll let Chanyeol get everything he wants for now. Let Chanyeol prepare himself before having to kill someone he loves. "I love you," Chanyeol starts. He leans on the door so closely like he wants to go past it and get next to Jongin, but Jongin is thankful that Chanyeol can't. He doesn't know what he'll do if Chanyeol is within touching distance. "I don't know what to say, Jongin, I don't know what to do."
Jongin doesn't know either. He really wishes things could be different but here he is, decaying by the minute, slowly giving way for another being to occupy his body. Chanyeol looks like he's willing himself not to cry, and Jongin wonders how much pain he's getting Chanyeol into this time. All he does is hurt Chanyeol. "I hope you know you make me a happier person," Chanyeol says, as if he could hear what Jongin was thinking. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you."
"Live," is all Jongin can bring himself into saying. If only he has the strength and mind power to, he would have added please, hyung, survive this.
A pause, until, "Okay," Chanyeol answers weakly, smiling a little. Jongin feels relieved at the promise. "I will."
He nods as many times as he can, but maybe Jongin really doesn't have an hour. He starts losing control of his body and his eyes open wide, his vision covered in red. He throws himself to the glass, trying to break free, trying to get on the other side. The monster inside is taking over-Chanyeol has to kill him right now.
"Jongin?" Chanyeol sounds hesitant as he calls the name. I'm still here, hyung, Jongin wants to say. But it's too hard right now, he's too weak and something else is inside him.
Jongin has killed more than enough zombies in his lifetime, some he doesn't know at all, some he knows way too well. But now Jongin finds out that the hardest one to kill is the one inside your own body. "Hyung," Jongin calls with all the strength he can muster. "I can't-kill me."
Chanyeol is stepping back from where he was seated near the door, with one hand covering his mouth, and even with all the red covering his line of sight, Jongin can tell that Chanyeol is crying. I'm sorry, he wants to tell him, I'm sorry hyung. But there's not enough of him left in this body. He feels himself taking steps backwards, getting ready to ram through the door.
Bam. He slams his body to the thick glass that doesn't budge. Bam. Chanyeol is holding his shotgun on one hand. This is good, Jongin thinks, please live, hyung. Bam. He can hear a low sound of countdown-Chanyeol has pressed the button, now. He'll be gone in mere seconds now. Three, two, one.
Gunshots sound the same whether you're behind or in front of the gun, Jongin learns. A sharp pain hits the center of his head, burning, stinging.
And the red in his eyes diffuses into black.
*
Inside the house that they managed to break into and settle in, there is a room with a thick glass door. Chanyeol has cleared the room after the body of what used to be Jongin started to smell. He threw the body unceremoniously out his window, and sometimes Chanyeol still regrets not treating Jongin with more grace and respect. But that wasn't Jongin anymore.
Sometimes it gets lonely, living in a world where everyone else is undead. Sometimes Chanyeol wants to join his friends and Jongin in the afterlife, assuming such place exists for people who died like they did. Sometimes Chanyeol just gets tired of everything, and his thoughts would go to the revolver in the drawer, or the shotgun under the couch. And when it happens, he will enter the room with a thick glass door, sits down and stares at the floor, reading the words written in the last drops of Jongin's blood out loud.
Live, hyung. You said the whole thing will pass.
pg-13 | ~2.9k
[zombie!au] I'm still here, hyung, Jongin wants to say. But it's too hard right now, he's too weak and something else is inside him.
[!] violence, gore, self-harm, suicide & suicidal tendencies, character death
fill for this prompt on exopromptmeme
Inside the house that they managed to break into and settle in, there is a room with a thick glass door. Ever since the outbreak happened some years ago, almost all houses in the more expensive neighborhoods are equipped with it. Jongin is quite familiar with such room, since there was one back in his own house-a sterile room you use to keep the virus out, or the one you use to lock the virus in. The one in his house was where his family died, each with a gunshot to the head, delivered through tears and gritted teeth, and the last of his mother's sanity, crying for Jongin to save himself.
It's been too long since he survived this virus, and maybe Jongin shouldn't survive anymore. In a way, he's already lost to the zombies. There is a certain horror that doesn't leave you when you've seen so many of your friends and family die in the worst possible way. Some aren't themselves anymore, lost behind dead red eyes and decaying skin. Some aren't intact upon their death, devoured into pieces by the flesh-eating creatures. Some others died in your own hands, asking to be killed before they turn into something they don't wish to end up as. Jongin still wakes up with nightmares in the middle of the night, from Kyungsoo's voice begging for Jongin to take his life, from Sehun's eyes that were no longer his own, from the image of Joonmyun's bloody flesh and strands of blond hair between Zitao's teeth.
Jongin didn't even want to survive anymore. It's not really a life worth living when every day is a constant report of deaths, a continuous loss of people he knows. But along the way he met a boy who is too positive sometimes, and Chanyeol insists that one day, the whole thing will pass.
As for today, Jongin's heard that it's Baekhyun who has passed.
"Jongdae shot him," Chanyeol informs, voice wavering from the tears he's failing to hold back. Baekhyun's infected, Chanyeol said, out of nowhere, in their safe house. Jongin has heard how some people are catching the virus even without direct bites. Some say it's in the food. Some others mention something about targeted DNA. Either way, it doesn't look like the whole thing is going to pass any time soon. "And then he killed himself."
Chanyeol starts sobbing, and Jongin doesn't blame him at all. Baekhyun and Jongdae were some of their closest friends, the ones who bring them food when they had a good day surviving the city. Jongin doesn't know them as well as Chanyeol, but Jongin knows they were the last remains of Chanyeol's life before the virus. "I'm sorry," he whispers as he wraps his hands around Chanyeol, pulling the older one into a hug. "I'm sorry."
They fall asleep in each others' arms, and when Jongin screams himself awake from a nightmare, merely two hours later, Chanyeol is already up, crying next to him.
*
The first thing he notices is the change in his voice. He never really sounds good in the morning, but this time it doesn't even sound human. It's too low, and hoarse, and scratchy-it's hard even to get a decent good morning out.
Chanyeol notices it, too. "Do you want me to go get you some medicine?" he asks that day, eyebrows furrowed in concern. They still have plenty to live off of, and unless it's absolutely necessary, Jongin really doesn't want either of them to go out. He would rather stay in and watch the TV, although it's just a tedious rerun of old cartoons with the occasional breaking news.
Jongin shakes his head no. "I'll be okay," he answers, sounding the farthest from okay. Maybe he should try to sleep some more.
"Maybe you should sleep some more," Chanyeol says finally, still looking worried. He reaches to touch Jongin's cheek, stroking his face slightly, and Jongin feels his skin burn with heat.
It dawns on him then, what could be happening. Jongin jerks slightly from the realization, half hoping that Chanyeol doesn't notice. He gets on his feet urgently, shaking his head some more. Please, please, please, don't let Chanyeol notice. "Uh," he mutters. He doesn't think Chanyeol is aware of his panic, so at least that's a relief. "I think I'll take a bath."
"Okay," Chanyeol agrees, not questioning anything despite the rather confused look in his eyes. "I'll make you some tea. And chicken?"
Jongin grins, hoping it comes off as sincere. He nods quickly before rushing to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. In all honesty he's panicking inside, and he needs to look in the mirror right now to calm himself down. But what he sees does not relax him.
It takes a lot to notice the details, but Jongin has seen it way too many times to ignore it. He saw it on his mother, he saw it on Kyungsoo, he saw it on Sehun-and now he's seeing it on himself. There is a single red spot in his iris. One that he knows will spread until his eyes are blood red and hungry for meat. He takes off his shirt and easily spots dark specks of rotten skin, and it's confirmed, now, Jongin mourns. He's turning.
He doesn't think it's fair-he's been careful enough with everything he does, with everything he touches and everything he eats. But then again nothing about living in a world full of zombies is fair. Jongin slumps down to the floor and leans on the wall, bumping the back of his head repeatedly. If this happened last year, he would have been fine, content, even, glad to be free of this horrible place he's living in. He would have taken his shotgun and point it to his head, no hesitation in pulling the trigger and off himself.
But now he's got Chanyeol to think of, he's got his own feelings for Chanyeol to worry about. Jongin has never really told Chanyeol what he feels, although he's certain that Chanyeol knows. Love doesn't help much in this kind of life, and Jongin doesn't want to burden Chanyeol with feelings on top of the whole mess that is their universe. But now that he knows his time is up, really, Jongin just wants Chanyeol to know how thankful he is. How much happier he's been.
Tears are trickling down his face, and Jongin scratches his head in frustration, clawing some skin off the side of his head. The violent strike is coming, too, Jongin realizes as he tries to stop himself from peeling off his face. It normally takes seven hours for the transformation to take over completely. And maybe it's selfish, but he really just wants to have more time being normal with Chanyeol.
Maybe, maybe, just two hours would be okay.
*
This is as normal as it gets. Sitting on the couch, watching the same SpongeBob episode they watched last week and the week before, eating the chicken that Chanyeol prepared. Chanyeol has his arms around Jongin, and Jongin rests his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, taking in every last moment he gets to have. In another life, this would still be them on weekends, minus the wandering zombies outside, maybe plus one little girl or two. Or boys, Jongin doesn't really care.
The thought of Chanyeol with adorable children of their own makes Jongin smile, although it's hardly the appropriate time for that, given his condition. He should tell Chanyeol soon. It's not fair for either of them, but at least it would be safer for Chanyeol if Jongin tells him. He should tell Chanyeol soon.
Jongin lifts his head and pecks Chanyeol on the cheek, earning him an amused look from the taller boy. "What was that for?" he asks, obviously pleased because Jongin has never been the one to initiate kisses between the two of them.
Jongin shrugs, not wanting to say anything because God knows how bad he sounds right now, almost three hours into the change. He remembers everything Chanyeol has done for him-stopping him from killing himself, feeding him when he refused to eat in an attempt to starve himself to death, kissing him to sleep when the nightmares get overwhelming. Jongin smiles at Chanyeol, half wishing he had said I love you at least once, because that's how he feels about Chanyeol, he finally realizes. Now it's all too late, and even if he tries to say the words, the voice won't be his own. But still, thank you, he mouths, thank you for everything.
Chanyeol doesn't answer. Instead, he pulls Jongin into a kiss, and it burns and it stings, but the way his heart shatters hurts Jongin the most. As the kiss deepens Jongin finds himself wanting to bite on Chanyeol's lips, but then asking which part of him the urge comes from. The fear for Chanyeol's life is what makes Jongin push Chanyeol away, and the latter tries to grasp his arms and pull him back. But Jongin is already up, running away from Chanyeol and locking himself behind the glass door.
"Wha-Jongin?" Chanyeol has finally caught up with Jongin and finds him inside the confinement room. Jongin watches as Chanyeol searches his face and slowly understands what's happening. His expression falters into something Jongin has never seen on Chanyeol before-a mix of surprise, and sadness, and overall devastation. Jongin wishes he hadn't caused Chanyeol such pain, but what is there for him to do-this has all come as a surprise for him, too.
"I'm sorry," Jongin manages to croak out in an unfamiliar voice. His eyes are probably almost fully red, now. He can see the skin on the tips of his fingers perishing. He's already half a monster, but maybe he still has one or two more hours of being conscious. Before then he has to make sure Chanyeol kills him-otherwise he doesn't know what he's capable of doing. "This sucks."
Chanyeol still stares at him in a daze, his jaw hanging loosely as he steps forward to lean on the door. "How?" he asks finally with a strained voice. He sinks down to the floor and presses both hands on his head. "How," he repeats in a whisper Jongin can barely hear, thumping his head again and again to the glass surface separating the two of them.
Despite the ache in his chest, Jongin smiles weakly. He can feel the insides of his head slipping away and it gets harder to stop his hands from jerking, to stop himself from peeling skin off of his body. His vision is stained with red, and Chanyeol will probably look like a pile of dark meat by the time the virus takes over completely. "Chanyeol hyung," he calls with the last bits of his consciousness. "Chanyeol hyung, Chanyeol hyung," he just wants Chanyeol to know that he's still there. Just wants Chanyeol to know that even in his current state, Chanyeol is in his mind.
In between silent sobs, Chanyeol answers, "Jongin." Chanyeol is struggling to get words out. Jongin stays quiet as Chanyeol weeps, palms pressed on the door. Chanyeol gasps for air and tilts his head up to stop his tears. He turns to face Jongin, questioning with unsteady voice, "Jongin what are we going to do?"
Jongin quirks one eyebrow as an answer, as if saying you know what to do, but Chanyeol stares at him desperately, as if begging don't make me do it. "You have to," Jongin says, again with the foreign voice that is now his. It's so hard to breathe right now, and Jongin isn't sure if it's the aftereffect of the virus or the sight of a broken Chanyeol in front of him. "Please," he adds when Chanyeol doesn't answer.
Chanyeol presses his forehead on the glass door. "How long do we have?" he asks, searching Jongin's face. Jongin wonders how bad he looks right now-he knows half the skin on his cheek is already off, maybe his flesh is showing there. He knows his eyes are supposed to be red all over now, some parts of his face probably dark and rotten already. Maybe Jongin doesn't want Chanyeol to look at his face anymore. "Jongin," Chanyeol repeats in a much softer voice when Jongin starts covering his face. "Let me look at you, Jongin."
"Kill me," Jongin begs. "Right now."
There's a button on the side of the glass door. All Chanyeol has to do is press it, and in ten seconds the door will open, and Chanyeol has a split second to pull the trigger before the monster inside Jongin prances forward to kill him. There's a shotgun under the couch. There's a revolver in the drawer. It's so easy to end all of this, Jongin thinks. He really wants it to be over-what's the use of having Chanyeol so close if he doesn't get to touch him? What's the use if he has no power to tell him how much he wishes things were different, how much he wishes they could be together.
"Let me have you for another hour," Chanyeol pleads helplessly. Jongin remembers Jongdae, who was in too much pain to carry on without Baekhyun, and prays that Chanyeol is strong enough to move on. Jongin frantically starts writing down letters on the floor, a message for when Chanyeol loses him, last words written with his drying blood.
When he's done, Jongin nods slowly to Chanyeol. Maybe he won't be able to hold on for another hour, but he'll let Chanyeol get everything he wants for now. Let Chanyeol prepare himself before having to kill someone he loves. "I love you," Chanyeol starts. He leans on the door so closely like he wants to go past it and get next to Jongin, but Jongin is thankful that Chanyeol can't. He doesn't know what he'll do if Chanyeol is within touching distance. "I don't know what to say, Jongin, I don't know what to do."
Jongin doesn't know either. He really wishes things could be different but here he is, decaying by the minute, slowly giving way for another being to occupy his body. Chanyeol looks like he's willing himself not to cry, and Jongin wonders how much pain he's getting Chanyeol into this time. All he does is hurt Chanyeol. "I hope you know you make me a happier person," Chanyeol says, as if he could hear what Jongin was thinking. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you."
"Live," is all Jongin can bring himself into saying. If only he has the strength and mind power to, he would have added please, hyung, survive this.
A pause, until, "Okay," Chanyeol answers weakly, smiling a little. Jongin feels relieved at the promise. "I will."
He nods as many times as he can, but maybe Jongin really doesn't have an hour. He starts losing control of his body and his eyes open wide, his vision covered in red. He throws himself to the glass, trying to break free, trying to get on the other side. The monster inside is taking over-Chanyeol has to kill him right now.
"Jongin?" Chanyeol sounds hesitant as he calls the name. I'm still here, hyung, Jongin wants to say. But it's too hard right now, he's too weak and something else is inside him.
Jongin has killed more than enough zombies in his lifetime, some he doesn't know at all, some he knows way too well. But now Jongin finds out that the hardest one to kill is the one inside your own body. "Hyung," Jongin calls with all the strength he can muster. "I can't-kill me."
Chanyeol is stepping back from where he was seated near the door, with one hand covering his mouth, and even with all the red covering his line of sight, Jongin can tell that Chanyeol is crying. I'm sorry, he wants to tell him, I'm sorry hyung. But there's not enough of him left in this body. He feels himself taking steps backwards, getting ready to ram through the door.
Bam. He slams his body to the thick glass that doesn't budge. Bam. Chanyeol is holding his shotgun on one hand. This is good, Jongin thinks, please live, hyung. Bam. He can hear a low sound of countdown-Chanyeol has pressed the button, now. He'll be gone in mere seconds now. Three, two, one.
Gunshots sound the same whether you're behind or in front of the gun, Jongin learns. A sharp pain hits the center of his head, burning, stinging.
And the red in his eyes diffuses into black.
*
Inside the house that they managed to break into and settle in, there is a room with a thick glass door. Chanyeol has cleared the room after the body of what used to be Jongin started to smell. He threw the body unceremoniously out his window, and sometimes Chanyeol still regrets not treating Jongin with more grace and respect. But that wasn't Jongin anymore.
Sometimes it gets lonely, living in a world where everyone else is undead. Sometimes Chanyeol wants to join his friends and Jongin in the afterlife, assuming such place exists for people who died like they did. Sometimes Chanyeol just gets tired of everything, and his thoughts would go to the revolver in the drawer, or the shotgun under the couch. And when it happens, he will enter the room with a thick glass door, sits down and stares at the floor, reading the words written in the last drops of Jongin's blood out loud.
Live, hyung. You said the whole thing will pass.