Kanjani Chronicle 001: close friends, hungry friends, old friends
HAVE YOU SEEN KANJANI CHRONICLE?
DO YOU LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DO?
ARE YOU HAVING A DEJA VU?
Okay okay okay, so the caps can't do it justice, but the opening is, um, unusual? I suspect staff-san told Kanjani they'd need pictures for the opening (like in Janiben and KanJam) so Kanjani posed for pictures, only staff-san filmed them instead so now we have an opening that looks like the making of an opening. It makes Kanjani look a bit ridiculous, prancing and posing as they are, which is probably why I haven't seen a single gifset of it on tumblr yet. XD It doesn't help that the filter gives us untrendy oversaturated colours instead of the pastel haze, vintage distress or glamour glow we're used to.
I don't like it much and I suspect it's an objectively terrible opening sequence, which makes it all the more hilarious that they actually used it.
The first segment is a location shoot. The callenge as I understand it: walk around this shopping district holding hands and find 6 people who think you look like close friends. You have 60 minutes. I'm immediately distracted by Ohkura's work coat D: and Maru's jeans. :D
Holding hands is one of those simple concepts that yield amazing results, like when two minutes in, they try some food samples. Since everyone's hands are out of commission, it falls to Ohkura and Subaru to help the others. Ohkura, professional heartthrob, handfeeds Ryo and Hina with all the attention and care of someone determined to convince the shopkeeper of their closeness and win the game. (Yasu's face.) (Also, Yasu's hair. <3) Subaru, dedicated troll, threatens to stuff Yoko's face with a whole platter before giving him one piece, but then puts just the edge between Yoko's teeth forcing Yoko to do some facial acrobatics to really get the food into his mouth, only they both get the giggles before Yoko gets very far. (See the way Yoko's face crinkles up? I love that. Laugh lines that run down the cheeks are my favourite thing ever. Yoko has always been ridiculously handsome, but this makes me fall in love with his face all over again. <3)
They decide to enter a cafe next. Staff-san makes Subaru ask for filming permission. Earnest Subaru is my favourite Subaru. (Yes, even before troll Subaru, though admittedly in part because 80% of the time, earest Subaru is troll Subaru.) The shop is pretty small so Subaru points out how many people they are, but the shopkeeper just waves them in. Turns out the shop is bigger than it looks from the outside because while narrow, it stretches out back. (Yasu: "This shop has so much depth!")
After a little shuffling and rearranging themselves as a dance revue line, they ask a group of ladies having an afternoon tea what kind of group they look like. Lady: "Girly". AHAHAHA. As they pass by the table, every single member politely bows and thanks the ladies for the participation, and Yasu adds, "Please stay close friends!" which earns him tsukkomi from everyone because that was a not so subtle attempt to announce to other patrons in the cafe what kind of response Kanjani want to their question.
Their next encounter is with a little boy who immediately melts Subaru's and Yoko's hearts, while Kanjani melt his mother's heart, while the little boy holds his hands over his ears, presumably to shut out his mother's high-pitched squeals and also to project clear "don't wanna" vibes at the general commotion and sudden claustrophobia that must come with Kanjani and crew squeezing deeper into the narrow cafe.
Her favourite member is Ryo, who apologizes for not being able to shake her hand. Yeah right, I'm sure you're just devastated you don't get to go near the excited fangirl. Subaru offers his hand as a consolation prize.
When Kanjani wave their clasped hands about and ask the mother what kind of group they look like, she gets flustered and says, "Well... homos." Hina, Ryo, Yasu and Ohkura lose it, Maru seems mostly incredulous and Subaru's first reaction appears to be solemn agreement. Yoko tries again: "Your precious first impression, what was it?"
Mother: "You look like close friends."
Kanjani: !!!
Kanjani: "Thank you very much!"
Subaru: holds out hand
Mother: takes hand
Mother: holds hand
Subaru: holds hand
Mother: holds hand
Son: LALALA see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil
Subaru: sono te wo hana. sa. naiiiiide-eee~
Mother: holds hand
Subaru: rubs thumb over her hand
Mother: holds hand
Kanjani: let go!
Hina: "Stop rubbing your thumb!"
Yasu: "Don't do that in front of the kid!"
Then Ohkura asks about the cafe's specialty, a giant dessert.
Waitress: "Yes, King Parfait."
Yoko: ["So, one for all of us?"] (<-- square brackets: not an exact translation, see note at the bottom of this post)
Ryo: ["Wait, we only have 60 minutes! We don't have a lot of time! Are you sure?"]
Waitress: ["It takes just five minutes to prepare."]
Subaru: starts to play with the little boy
Kanjani: sounds doable, okay then
Ohkura: "We'll have that and one iced coffee, please."
Subaru to waitress: ["What do we look like to you?"]
Waitress: ["You're not letting go of each other's hands."]
Hina: "That's right."
Yasu: "But, um, as friends, we're close..."
Ohkura: ...
Yasu: giggles
Ohkura: "He just said, 'We're close friends.'"
Ohkura: "That's against the rules!"
Ohkura helps Ryo and Hina drink. He tips Hina's glass too far, forcing him to chug or to spill, but Hina somehow manages. Yoko and Hina complain about the rough treatment. Ohkura cackles.
Then Subaru offers Yoko a drink.
Yoko: "Don't wanna!"
Subaru: "It's okay. <3"
Subaru: squeezes Yoko's hand
Hina to Ohkura: "See how gentle he is?"
When Yoko relents, Subaru is as gentle as promised, but again Yoko and then Subaru get the giggles and they abort, and I get to stare at Yoko's laugh lines some more. *dreamy sigh* I think Yoko says something about how Subaru's gesture touched his heart; Hina replies, "That was Subaru's true service."
When Ohkura offers Yasu a drink, Yasu makes a face and shakes his head. Ohkura shrugs, puts Yasu's glass down and picks up his own.
Yasu: "I need to go to the toilet..."
Ohkura: chokes
Kanjani: EH?!
Ohkura: "For real?"
Yasu: ["It's fine."] "I'll do my best, but..."
Subaru: ["I will not hold it (Yasu's chinchin) in my hand. Just to be clear."]
Subaru: ["I'd have to seriously control myself."]
Then the King Parfait arrives.
Maru: "It's a tower of happiness!" 8D
Subaru: ["It looks like something from a manga!"]
Ohkura: awkwardly waves his money around
Maru: beams lovingly at the giant heap of dessert in front of him
Yoko: (something like "this is bad", it will take too long, we don't have the time)
Maru: "But it's a tower of happiness!" 8DDD
Hina: hits Maru with his own hand
Eating the parfait. (I took SO MANY caps.) They also have new targets that they're trying to get to identify Kanjani as close friends: two patrons that have been sneaking glances at Kanjani's antics for a while now. They're not the only ones, the afternoon tea ladies from earlier can be seen following the show Kanjani put on as well. And what a show it is!
When he's trying to scoop up a spoonful for Ryo, Ohkura points out that he's working with his left hand here. Ryo is using his high whimpy voice to beg Ohkura not to make it too big a scoop. Ohkura ignores him, and when Ryo whines, Ohkura repeats, "Left hand! Left hand!" before stuffing Ryo's face.
In the midst of the laughter, whining, and sticky parfait residue, Subaru turns to their new targets.
Subaru: "Excuse me, could you look at this for a moment?"
Yoko: picks up another big scoop of parfait
Subaru: "This right here."
Yoko: feeds Maru
Maru: "Delicious!" 8D
Yoko: giggles
Everyone: turns to beam expectantly at the two patrons
Patrons: "Um, close friends."
Two down, four to go!
They find a school girl in another shop that they coerce into an answer close enough for Producer-san. Three down, three to go!
Interlude: another segment. This one is a skit featuring Yoko, Ohkura and dinner plans.
I love it. I don't understand much but it looks hilarious already. I hope someone translates it!
Back in the shopping street, Kanjani's next encounter on their quest: a rabbit in a shoe shop. Since Yasu can't cuddle properly with his hands occupied, he wants to faceplant into it, which forces both him and Ryo into doing some gymnastics. The shopkeeper and then later two passerbies identify them as close friends. Five down, one to go!
They ask a weirdly dressed lady, who apparently recognises them as the guys she sees on channel four at 10 p.m. Yoko: "Channel 4, 10 p.m., that's Arashi." Then she grabs Maru's and Yoko's hands, forms a circle, and starts dancing. In the top left corner, you can see another lady immediately joining in. The weirdly dressed lady seems in good spirits, but doesn't help them in the game, and time is running out. Two random shoppers don't tell Kanjani what they need to hear either, despite copious prompting. Ohkura yells at the shopping street at large: "Aren't we close friends?". A desperate last try with another pair of shoppers falls through as well, and Kanjani officially lose the game.
A post-game conversation.
Producer-san: "During the last minute of the game, Ohkura-san shouted "close friends". "
Ohkura: pokerface
Ohkura: "I didn't say that."
Ohkura: I didn't. Not at all. Me? I would never.
Staff: You did.
Subaru: steps in front of Ohkura, yells at staff
Subaru: "He didn't say that!" He totally didn't!
Staff: "... close friends." XD
Kanjani: "You said it!"
Kanjani: That's six! We did it! Yaaay!
And throughout all of it, Kanjani are still holding hands. <3
And the last segment, a little studio game featuring Hina, Ohkura and an elderly couple playing charades. I have a soft spot of all of those. I especially like the set, Ohkura's hair and the little bells.
Again, I'd love subs; the game itself was easy to follow (and thank you, staff-san, for adding pictures to the solution <3), but the commentary in between was not, and I'd have loved to understand what Kuniyuki-san and Shigeko-san were saying.
And at the very end, we get another great scene from the hand holding segment: Maru and Hina discovering that somehow, they have acquired an extra member.
As a whole, the show is promising. How good the episodes are will depend a lot on the featured themes and segments, but after watching the first episode, I'm pretty confident that overall, Kanjani Chronicle will be good. The location game was simple but fun, and Kanjani really worked it. The sketch seemed really funny, and I just hope that someone translates it. The studio game at the end was okay. It was the least exciting segment, but it wasn't bad, and it was pretty short.
When Kanjani Chronicle was first announced, people said that it sounded similar to certain SMAP and V6 shows. I haven't seen any of those, so I can't compare, but what stuck out to me with Chronicle was the understatement. Opening, wardrobe, set, games, props, nothing was glamorous or polished, it was all pretty old-school and reminded me of the no-budget late night shows groups get at the beginning of their careers. Which is good, because fans (including myself) always say that those are the best shows.
I also really like that the episodes are just 25 minutes long. Janiben and KanJAM both have 45 minutes, and not that I don't enjoy those to the fullest, I'm just glad that we get a snack instead of another three-course meal.
Conclusion: I think Kanjani Chronicle is another success. It definitely has a lot of potential. Out of all of Kanjani's shows, this is the one I would like the most to be subbed, and I have hopes that it might happen - at just 25 minutes length and even those cut into segments, subbers might pick up interesting clips to work on.
Note: I never had any kind of formal education in Japanese. All translations here are the result of the tidbits I picked up watching subbed and unsubbed Japanese TV shows, and Google translate. Anything in "quotation marks" I'm fairly sure about, anything in ["square brackets"] is probably somewhat correct (I wouldn't write it if I wasn't at least 70 % sure) but still not an actual translation so much as me writing a sentence around a few cue words in a way that fits the context. Anything without quotation marks is more (not so serious) description than translation. So what I'm saying is, don't quote me where it matters, and if you catch any mistakes, please tell me!
DO YOU LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DO?
ARE YOU HAVING A DEJA VU?
Okay okay okay, so the caps can't do it justice, but the opening is, um, unusual? I suspect staff-san told Kanjani they'd need pictures for the opening (like in Janiben and KanJam) so Kanjani posed for pictures, only staff-san filmed them instead so now we have an opening that looks like the making of an opening. It makes Kanjani look a bit ridiculous, prancing and posing as they are, which is probably why I haven't seen a single gifset of it on tumblr yet. XD It doesn't help that the filter gives us untrendy oversaturated colours instead of the pastel haze, vintage distress or glamour glow we're used to.
I don't like it much and I suspect it's an objectively terrible opening sequence, which makes it all the more hilarious that they actually used it.
The first segment is a location shoot. The callenge as I understand it: walk around this shopping district holding hands and find 6 people who think you look like close friends. You have 60 minutes. I'm immediately distracted by Ohkura's work coat D: and Maru's jeans. :D
Holding hands is one of those simple concepts that yield amazing results, like when two minutes in, they try some food samples. Since everyone's hands are out of commission, it falls to Ohkura and Subaru to help the others. Ohkura, professional heartthrob, handfeeds Ryo and Hina with all the attention and care of someone determined to convince the shopkeeper of their closeness and win the game. (Yasu's face.) (Also, Yasu's hair. <3) Subaru, dedicated troll, threatens to stuff Yoko's face with a whole platter before giving him one piece, but then puts just the edge between Yoko's teeth forcing Yoko to do some facial acrobatics to really get the food into his mouth, only they both get the giggles before Yoko gets very far. (See the way Yoko's face crinkles up? I love that. Laugh lines that run down the cheeks are my favourite thing ever. Yoko has always been ridiculously handsome, but this makes me fall in love with his face all over again. <3)
They decide to enter a cafe next. Staff-san makes Subaru ask for filming permission. Earnest Subaru is my favourite Subaru. (Yes, even before troll Subaru, though admittedly in part because 80% of the time, earest Subaru is troll Subaru.) The shop is pretty small so Subaru points out how many people they are, but the shopkeeper just waves them in. Turns out the shop is bigger than it looks from the outside because while narrow, it stretches out back. (Yasu: "This shop has so much depth!")
After a little shuffling and rearranging themselves as a dance revue line, they ask a group of ladies having an afternoon tea what kind of group they look like. Lady: "Girly". AHAHAHA. As they pass by the table, every single member politely bows and thanks the ladies for the participation, and Yasu adds, "Please stay close friends!" which earns him tsukkomi from everyone because that was a not so subtle attempt to announce to other patrons in the cafe what kind of response Kanjani want to their question.
Their next encounter is with a little boy who immediately melts Subaru's and Yoko's hearts, while Kanjani melt his mother's heart, while the little boy holds his hands over his ears, presumably to shut out his mother's high-pitched squeals and also to project clear "don't wanna" vibes at the general commotion and sudden claustrophobia that must come with Kanjani and crew squeezing deeper into the narrow cafe.
Her favourite member is Ryo, who apologizes for not being able to shake her hand. Yeah right, I'm sure you're just devastated you don't get to go near the excited fangirl. Subaru offers his hand as a consolation prize.
When Kanjani wave their clasped hands about and ask the mother what kind of group they look like, she gets flustered and says, "Well... homos." Hina, Ryo, Yasu and Ohkura lose it, Maru seems mostly incredulous and Subaru's first reaction appears to be solemn agreement. Yoko tries again: "Your precious first impression, what was it?"
Mother: "You look like close friends."
Kanjani: !!!
Kanjani: "Thank you very much!"
Subaru: holds out hand
Mother: takes hand
Mother: holds hand
Subaru: holds hand
Mother: holds hand
Son: LALALA see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil
Subaru: sono te wo hana. sa. naiiiiide-eee~
Mother: holds hand
Subaru: rubs thumb over her hand
Mother: holds hand
Kanjani: let go!
Hina: "Stop rubbing your thumb!"
Yasu: "Don't do that in front of the kid!"
Then Ohkura asks about the cafe's specialty, a giant dessert.
Waitress: "Yes, King Parfait."
Yoko: ["So, one for all of us?"] (<-- square brackets: not an exact translation, see note at the bottom of this post)
Ryo: ["Wait, we only have 60 minutes! We don't have a lot of time! Are you sure?"]
Waitress: ["It takes just five minutes to prepare."]
Subaru: starts to play with the little boy
Kanjani: sounds doable, okay then
Ohkura: "We'll have that and one iced coffee, please."
Subaru to waitress: ["What do we look like to you?"]
Waitress: ["You're not letting go of each other's hands."]
Hina: "That's right."
Yasu: "But, um, as friends, we're close..."
Ohkura: ...
Yasu: giggles
Ohkura: "He just said, 'We're close friends.'"
Ohkura: "That's against the rules!"
Ohkura helps Ryo and Hina drink. He tips Hina's glass too far, forcing him to chug or to spill, but Hina somehow manages. Yoko and Hina complain about the rough treatment. Ohkura cackles.
Then Subaru offers Yoko a drink.
Yoko: "Don't wanna!"
Subaru: "It's okay. <3"
Subaru: squeezes Yoko's hand
Hina to Ohkura: "See how gentle he is?"
When Yoko relents, Subaru is as gentle as promised, but again Yoko and then Subaru get the giggles and they abort, and I get to stare at Yoko's laugh lines some more. *dreamy sigh* I think Yoko says something about how Subaru's gesture touched his heart; Hina replies, "That was Subaru's true service."
When Ohkura offers Yasu a drink, Yasu makes a face and shakes his head. Ohkura shrugs, puts Yasu's glass down and picks up his own.
Yasu: "I need to go to the toilet..."
Ohkura: chokes
Kanjani: EH?!
Ohkura: "For real?"
Yasu: ["It's fine."] "I'll do my best, but..."
Subaru: ["I will not hold it (Yasu's chinchin) in my hand. Just to be clear."]
Subaru: ["I'd have to seriously control myself."]
Then the King Parfait arrives.
Maru: "It's a tower of happiness!" 8D
Subaru: ["It looks like something from a manga!"]
Ohkura: awkwardly waves his money around
Maru: beams lovingly at the giant heap of dessert in front of him
Yoko: (something like "this is bad", it will take too long, we don't have the time)
Maru: "But it's a tower of happiness!" 8DDD
Hina: hits Maru with his own hand
Eating the parfait. (I took SO MANY caps.) They also have new targets that they're trying to get to identify Kanjani as close friends: two patrons that have been sneaking glances at Kanjani's antics for a while now. They're not the only ones, the afternoon tea ladies from earlier can be seen following the show Kanjani put on as well. And what a show it is!
When he's trying to scoop up a spoonful for Ryo, Ohkura points out that he's working with his left hand here. Ryo is using his high whimpy voice to beg Ohkura not to make it too big a scoop. Ohkura ignores him, and when Ryo whines, Ohkura repeats, "Left hand! Left hand!" before stuffing Ryo's face.
In the midst of the laughter, whining, and sticky parfait residue, Subaru turns to their new targets.
Subaru: "Excuse me, could you look at this for a moment?"
Yoko: picks up another big scoop of parfait
Subaru: "This right here."
Yoko: feeds Maru
Maru: "Delicious!" 8D
Yoko: giggles
Everyone: turns to beam expectantly at the two patrons
Patrons: "Um, close friends."
Two down, four to go!
They find a school girl in another shop that they coerce into an answer close enough for Producer-san. Three down, three to go!
Interlude: another segment. This one is a skit featuring Yoko, Ohkura and dinner plans.
I love it. I don't understand much but it looks hilarious already. I hope someone translates it!
Back in the shopping street, Kanjani's next encounter on their quest: a rabbit in a shoe shop. Since Yasu can't cuddle properly with his hands occupied, he wants to faceplant into it, which forces both him and Ryo into doing some gymnastics. The shopkeeper and then later two passerbies identify them as close friends. Five down, one to go!
They ask a weirdly dressed lady, who apparently recognises them as the guys she sees on channel four at 10 p.m. Yoko: "Channel 4, 10 p.m., that's Arashi." Then she grabs Maru's and Yoko's hands, forms a circle, and starts dancing. In the top left corner, you can see another lady immediately joining in. The weirdly dressed lady seems in good spirits, but doesn't help them in the game, and time is running out. Two random shoppers don't tell Kanjani what they need to hear either, despite copious prompting. Ohkura yells at the shopping street at large: "Aren't we close friends?". A desperate last try with another pair of shoppers falls through as well, and Kanjani officially lose the game.
A post-game conversation.
Producer-san: "During the last minute of the game, Ohkura-san shouted "close friends". "
Ohkura: pokerface
Ohkura: "I didn't say that."
Ohkura: I didn't. Not at all. Me? I would never.
Staff: You did.
Subaru: steps in front of Ohkura, yells at staff
Subaru: "He didn't say that!" He totally didn't!
Staff: "... close friends." XD
Kanjani: "You said it!"
Kanjani: That's six! We did it! Yaaay!
And throughout all of it, Kanjani are still holding hands. <3
And the last segment, a little studio game featuring Hina, Ohkura and an elderly couple playing charades. I have a soft spot of all of those. I especially like the set, Ohkura's hair and the little bells.
Again, I'd love subs; the game itself was easy to follow (and thank you, staff-san, for adding pictures to the solution <3), but the commentary in between was not, and I'd have loved to understand what Kuniyuki-san and Shigeko-san were saying.
And at the very end, we get another great scene from the hand holding segment: Maru and Hina discovering that somehow, they have acquired an extra member.
As a whole, the show is promising. How good the episodes are will depend a lot on the featured themes and segments, but after watching the first episode, I'm pretty confident that overall, Kanjani Chronicle will be good. The location game was simple but fun, and Kanjani really worked it. The sketch seemed really funny, and I just hope that someone translates it. The studio game at the end was okay. It was the least exciting segment, but it wasn't bad, and it was pretty short.
When Kanjani Chronicle was first announced, people said that it sounded similar to certain SMAP and V6 shows. I haven't seen any of those, so I can't compare, but what stuck out to me with Chronicle was the understatement. Opening, wardrobe, set, games, props, nothing was glamorous or polished, it was all pretty old-school and reminded me of the no-budget late night shows groups get at the beginning of their careers. Which is good, because fans (including myself) always say that those are the best shows.
I also really like that the episodes are just 25 minutes long. Janiben and KanJAM both have 45 minutes, and not that I don't enjoy those to the fullest, I'm just glad that we get a snack instead of another three-course meal.
Conclusion: I think Kanjani Chronicle is another success. It definitely has a lot of potential. Out of all of Kanjani's shows, this is the one I would like the most to be subbed, and I have hopes that it might happen - at just 25 minutes length and even those cut into segments, subbers might pick up interesting clips to work on.
Note: I never had any kind of formal education in Japanese. All translations here are the result of the tidbits I picked up watching subbed and unsubbed Japanese TV shows, and Google translate. Anything in "quotation marks" I'm fairly sure about, anything in ["square brackets"] is probably somewhat correct (I wouldn't write it if I wasn't at least 70 % sure) but still not an actual translation so much as me writing a sentence around a few cue words in a way that fits the context. Anything without quotation marks is more (not so serious) description than translation. So what I'm saying is, don't quote me where it matters, and if you catch any mistakes, please tell me!