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"Well cause you're not normal. You're special. You really need to come to terms with who you are. I think you're an awesome person. If people can't accept you then fuck em. Thats the way I see it. If we were all normal then life would seriously be boring. You need to be proud of who you are no matter what people think. Thats the hard part. We
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thats actually probably been one of the most powerful tools that has gotten you to this point. It allows you, I assume to change as once you do change and people see you in a better light, that gives you postive feedback.
I suffer because I don't react to others esteem of me, thus I don't gain any sense of positive feedback. the only feedback I get is from myself, i suppose the only reaction i have is either ignoring others or fearing others.
If you want to work on self esteem there are plenty of good books that can help, especially CBT cognitive behavioural therapy could be very useful for you, since you already have the positive feedback loop.
but one thing to cogitate on, who knows you best you, or me who until 30 minutes ago had never 'met' you? Thus what sort of trust would you put in my opinion of you? From this perhaps can ask yourself why do you need to give others such as me the power to evaluate you? Perhaps you should only give that power to people you trust with it. Perhaps you could also re-evaluate that trust over time and still consider if your trust in their opinion is valid. How you choose to give that power to evaluate you is up to you and in the process of evaluating your trust in others opinions of you you might find that you have had the power all along.
just some thoughts
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