Blue Moon
Title: Blue Moon
Rating: PG
Pairing: Homin
Genre: AU
Summary: There's being eaten, then there's being devoured. Something worse will happen unless you figure it out- a fate much worse than a dull life. It all falls down around you, but there’s always a room and an offer of absolution at The Blue Moon.
B L A C K M O O N
As an adult, it’s an uncomplicated matter if you want to disappear.
It's so tempting. Those dark spaces at the edge of the city, that train that goes to the unfamiliar stop, the distance a full tank of gas can take you in the wrong direction.
He focuses on getting one foot in front of the other, over and over, until his feet slapping the pavement are a steady cadence, filling the dark streets with his own beat. Each street lamp is a beacon. They fade out the stars above with their shine. The moon is inconspicuous in its absence- the people of the huge city haven’t depended on its light in decades.
The cold air ices his throat and lungs, but it’s thousands of times better than biting his tongue, always. Better than his boss berating him for a mistake that had nothing to do with him, better than his friend laughing with nervous uncertainty- ‘Oh shit, I didn’t think you were actually...you don’t like me, right?’
He runs faster to pump it out of his system.
You made it awkward. Not me.
Just another night, like the ones before and the ones after. Another night that Changmin is trying his hardest to convince himself there is something more waiting for him. Another night where he’s being a little greedy, where the city and the people and the stagnant mediocrity are not satisfying the burning desire for more. Another night where it’s all he can do to not cut and run, run away from this place and this life and these people that tie him down and make him stay.
Another night where he will run to the mountain forest and waver at the treeline like a coward, too spineless to step inside and let it eat him up.
He finally stops to catch his breath, leaning against some dark building and panting misty little clouds into the air. He can’t help but hear what everything around him is telling him, humming and buzzing loud and clear:
This can’t be all there is.
It’s a scary thought, when it comes at 2 AM in the middle of an empty street. The type of traitorous thought that blindsides him, reverberating around his ribcage and filling it so sweetly up with doubt. Changmin wonders if he’s going to throw up. His back is icy with sweat.
Suddenly, his shadow is cast upon the ground, and his tall, lean frame is silhouetted on the cement by cool white light. The frosted glass doors of the building behind him are lit up. Changmin is surprised, what kind of place would open now of all times? It seems too early for opening procedures.
The thin black letters across the glass only identify the building as ‘THE BLUE MOON’. The entry lighting is clever, bright but extremely concentrated so that it only illuminates the doors and the sidewalk where Changmin is standing.
Changmin looks down the street, and tries to remember what people say about places that open at 2 AM. Nothing good, in any case. The place looks fancy and sophisticated, and he’s in leggings and a sweaty track jacket.
But he’s tired, and he doesn’t care anymore- something tugs at his arms and a strange feeling of anticipation surges as the leaves in the trees rustle.
He hopes it’s not some kind of weird new strip club as he grabs the metal handle and pulls.
The lobby is- well, it’s gorgeous. Everything is spacious and pristine, black polished wood and granite in clean lines and lush green foliage. It’s also very dark, with sharp pinpoints of light here and there breaking up the shadows. There’s a cold, airy silence, and there’s not a soul in sight. Changmin wonders if maybe the sign outside was wrong. Nothing here supports the sign’s claim that the place is open. He takes another step and takes a deep breath. The air has an unusual smell, like metal.
On one side of the room, there’s an empty counter that spans the length of the wall. A huge art installation spans the other wall, made up of what looks like hundreds of little metal sticks.
Changmin is so busy taking in the place that he fails to notice another presence until someone clears their throat. He spins around in shock, noticing a man at the counter that was definitely not there a second ago.
“Um, hello,” Changmin manages to say, flushing and suddenly feeling even more under-dressed.
The man is in a sleek black and brown suit, matching the interior. A tiny gold pin shines from the lapel.
He smiles at Changmin, a slash of perfectly white teeth against sharp, handsome features, and he bows.
“Good evening, sir, and welcome to The Blue Moon. Concierge, at your service. How can I help you tonight?”
Changmin bows way too deeply, and springs back up. He wills himself to have some composure.
“I- uh, no, just...what is this place?”
The man smiles and pushes something across the counter. Changmin moves a bit closer and sees it’s a business card. He bobs his head in thanks and accepts the card.
It’s matte black with ‘THE BLUE MOON’ printed in glossy ink that only shows when it catches the light. On the back, tiny silver letters state ‘reservations always welcome’, and ‘luxury accommodations for 1100 years’.
“Ah, a hotel? Is it really that old? I’ve never noticed it before...” Changmin says. The man nods.
“Yes, we cater to clientele that often lead very stressful lifestyles. We try to alleviate that stress and create a healing environment where they can renew themselves. As for our longetivity, we tend to keep a low profile. But the company was indeed founded centuries ago.”
Okay, so Changmin is very, very out of place.
“That’s very impressive. I’m sorry for barging in, I didn’t realize this was a hotel or anything...,” he says, backing away and bowing repeatedly.
“There’s no need to apologize, as you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t need it,” the man says.
“Oh, no, I mean, I’m not, uh, a customer-”
“Of course you aren’t, you’re our guest.” The man pulls a piece of paper out of nowhere and lays a silver pen next to it. “Please don’t concern yourself with the details. Your time here is ‘on the house’, as you might call it. I can show you around and we can talk about how to best help you. No pressure, but if it piques your interest, we can create a contract.”
Changmin expects to sign something, but the man just leaves it there as he walks around the counter.
Changmin’s always been very talented at getting himself into awkward situations without saying one word. The talent doesn’t fail him today. It doesn’t fail him as the man gently leads him by his elbow out of the lobby and into a dim hallway lined with doors and little tables. A single orchid is set on each table. Changmin is severely worried about the cost of even breathing the air here.
“You can call me Yunho, by the way,” the man says.
“Uh, my name is Shim Changmin." Changmin turns to look at Yunho and jumps when he realizes how close they’re walking, despite the space on either side of them.
“I’ll show you the courtyard first,” Yunho says, oblivious to Changmin’s discomfort.
The courtyard is just as gorgeous as the lobby. So are the fitness facilities. And the theatre. And the ballroom, and the infinity pool, and the spa. And the concierge, for that matter, with his broad shoulders and his neat, trim haircut.
They end up in front of a black oak door. Room 919. Yunho nods towards it.
“And, during your time here, this will be your home away from home,” he says. He pulls something out of his pocket. It’s a key, but instead of something sleek, it’s old, silver and tarnished. Yunho holds it out to him, and when Changmin takes it, he sees the bow is in the image of a chrysanthemum.
“The keys are originals from when the hotel first opened. This was once called the Chrysanthemum room.”
Changmin swallows. He figures a quick peak into the room wouldn’t hurt. He can leave right after.
The door opens to reveal a softly lit suite, everything beautiful and elegant among the shadows.
“Um,” Changmin says, and takes a step inside. “I’m sorry, it’s a lovely room, but-”
He turns, and Yunho’s standing in the doorway, blocking the way with his arms just touching the frame.
“I will leave you to your room,” he says, “but I have one recommendation, since it is so late: try not to wander the halls more than necessary, and for your own safety, stay within the hotel grounds until sunrise. The room should have all the amenities you require. If you need anything else, the phone is a direct link to me.”
The door is shut before Changmin can reply.
He’s left standing in the entryway, a calm silence pressing at his back.
After ten minutes of indecision, Changmin gives up the battle and gets ready to spend the hours until sunrise in the room. A set of clothes in his size hang in the closet- no labels, he notices- and a set of pajamas are neatly folded by the huge pillows on the bed.
Yunho didn’t lie- somehow, the cabinets in the expansive bathroom are stocked with all Changmin’s favorite products in miniature. There’s a book on a stand next to the bathtub, by an author he hasn’t heard of.
Changmin suddenly feels dirty in his running clothes. He decides to take advantage of the giant tub, and turns on the hot water. There’s little bath beads to throw in that fill the room with the scent of flowers and grass.
He sinks into the water and feels his mind float to the surface.
For the first time in weeks, he feels weightless.
Even though hours have surely passed, the water never goes cold. Changmin finally climbs out of the tub, stepping on the heated tiles. There’s a single black envelope on the bed when he emerges from the bathroom, marked with just his name in curling silver script. He picks it up and falls back onto fuck the softest, puffiest comforter he’s ever felt. Inside the envelope is a card with a sliver of crescent moon.
“You are cordially invited to join us in The Blue Moon Lounge for an evening of drinks and music,” he reads.
The Blue Moon Lounge isn't something he'll be able to describe to any of his friends, that's for sure. He shows the card to the host, and takes it all in.
It's a coffeeshop from this angle and a bar from another and if you close your eyes for a second it seems to be whatever you need. There's soft, thick live music playing, but the genre keeps changing- between arriving and being ushered to his seat, Changmin's heard a piano fade out and a saxophone take its place.
The waiter just kind of fades into the background as Changmin opens the menu. It becomes very apparent that he is hungry, or thirsty, or something- he hasn't eaten for hours.
A plate of croissants is placed in front of him. Changmin looks up and jumps. It's Yunho.
"Good evening, Mr. Shim. I trust you found your room more than acceptable?"
Changmin nods.
"Uh, yeah, it's...it's good. Listen, this is a really nice hotel, but are you sure that I-"
Yunho holds up a hand. Changmin stops.
"May I?" Yunho asks, gesturing to the seat across from Changmin.
"Sure."
Yunho slides into the seat way more gracefully than Changmin's ever thought possible.
"Can I get you anything? A hot drink? Maybe a cold one?" he asks, with a motion to the waiter.
Changmin crosses his arms. "What's good?"
Yunho grins. "Two chestnut lattes, please." He places his elbows on the table, making himself comfortable.
A chill runs down Changmin’s spine.
“My favorite,” he mutters. “Of course. Let me guess, it’s fresh from the cafe near my apartment.”
Yunho just keeps smiling.
"I informed you this stay was completely on the house, of course. So please, don't worry about any financial burdens or obligations."
Changmin leans forward. "You mentioned a contract or something."
"Ah, yes. If, and only if, you find The Blue Moon to be...well, an entity you would like to continue a relationship with, we can discuss a package for your specific needs."
Changmin stares at him.
"...is this place a brothel or something?"
Yunho bursts out in laughter, sharp and loud. Changmin glances around into the dark lounge, but there doesn't even seem to be any other guests to mind. It takes at least half a minute for Yunho's laughter to die down, and he does so with a little sigh of amusement.
"Mr. Shim, you have an excellent sense of humor," he says, and then he's all of a sudden looking at Changmin like he's standing miles away. Changmin ignores the pang of- whatever it is, it's painful- and clears his throat. Two lattes are placed in front of them, but the waiter is gone like smoke before Changmin can say 'thank you'.
"Can I just...okay, I think got your thing, that you're some kind of...hotel for super rich people to secretly relax at. But um, I'm definitely not- I'm not as wealthy as you seem to think I am. I can't afford-"
"Ah." Yunho places his hand halfway across the table. Changmin finds himself trailing off again.
"Mr. Shim."
"Changmin," Changmin mutters.
"...Changmin. Changmin, you are our guest. At The Blue Moon, we are dedicated to providing anything our guests need or want- even if they don't know they do."
Changmin pinches the bridge of his nose. "But-"
"As such, if you need our services...it is our obligation to fulfill that need. If you need this contract...it is our obligation to create it with terms that you will be fully able to abide by."
Changmin tilts his head. "So essentially...this is a brothel and you're asking me to sign away the next ten years of my life to make up the overhead."
Yunho laughs, much more briefly this time. He pulls a leather bound folio from somewhere next to him.
"Please, just consider this. It's a draft of the contract. I think you'll find it very...accommodating."
Changmin stares Yunho down, then sighs. "Ok," he says. "Let's see it."
Yunh slides the folio across the table. It's all black with that silver type scrolling across it, and Changmin's breath catches when underneath 'THE BLUE MOON', he sees 'Contract of Mr. Shim Changmin'.
"We specialize in a personal experience from beginning to end," Yunho explains as Changmin opens the folio.
Inside lies a single, shimmery piece of paper. Couched amidst far too many strangely archaic legal terms is a fairly simple exchange: 'Shim Changmin (hereforth referred to as the 'guest’) will partake of the services offered by The Blue Moon Club (hereforth referred to as the 'host'). Services will be offered on a by-necessity basis by the discretion of the host. No payment is necessary unless services are terminated by the guest. The guest will offer payment based on the guest's station and negotiation.’
Changmin glances up at Yunho. "So...basically, as long as I stay here, I don't have to pay."
Yunho shakes his head. "You may come and go as you please. The caveat is that you must stay a guest."
"I need to keep coming back? Like...once a month, or what?"
"If you feel like it. We'll be ready when you need us. You don't have to worry about arranging anything."
Changmin looks at Yunho long and hard. "I'm guessing the balance I'd need to pay gets bigger the longer I stay on the contract?"
"Ah," Yunho says, smiling. "Always a clever one. Yes. There is one, non-negotiable condition..."
Changmin leans back. Here it is.
"We operate on a slightly unique calendar here at The Blue Moon Club. Would you believe it's based on the blue moon?"
"Imagine that," Changmin says, eyes narrowed. "Go on."
"The blue moon, or rather, the extra full moon occurs once every two to three years. Coincidentally, our performance reviews as staff also take place at that time. Now, our only objective is to fulfill our guests’ wishes. However...if, by the time of the blue moon, we have a guest that remains unsatisfied...well, we are unfortunately required to forcibly terminate the contract.”
“What does that mean, ‘forcibly’?” Changmin says, unable to tear his eyes away from Yunho.
“Our clients get very...attached to The Blue Moon. In almost all cases, it can be hard to remove them from our care.”
“That’s it? You just...stop service?”
“We stop our hosting, yes.”
Changmin doesn’t like the sound of it. He doesn’t trust it. But there’s something about the music that’s playing, and it’s so familiar, and Yunho’s looking at him with these eyes like he’s an old friend, and he picks up a pen that’s next to him.
There’s nothing left for you back there.
“Okay.”
The ink slides smooth and fast, and Changmin almost loses his lunch when he glances up and something looks out from Yunho’s eyes that isn’t placed right. It’s gone when he laughs and collects the folio. He stands up and offers a hand to Changmin.
“Welcome to The Blue Moon, Changmin. Now, you might want to head back to your room, it’s getting a bit late.”
The last thing he expects is to fall asleep so easily.
He wakes up feeling new, the sheets whispering heaven-like against his skin. There’s no clock in sight, and he finds he doesn’t care about the time.
The halls are empty, much like they were last night. Muted light streams in from tall windows. There’s an open room with an assortment of breakfast foods and drinks set out, and he helps himself to a pitcher of ...chestnut latte.
“You’re kidding me,” he breathes out, stopping himself from peeking under the tablecloth. He settles for glancing over his shoulder. No Yunho in sight.
The latte’s good, but he has to take it to-go. By the look of the light, it’s mid-morning, which means he’s absolutely late.
Changmin can feel little twists of dread pulsing in his stomach, but he makes his way to the lobby, bolstered by sips of the warm, sweet latte. The lobby is silent. He drifts over to the counter, peering over the top.
“Changmin!”
Changmin turns to see Yunho striding in, grinning wide and looking...exactly the same as he did before. Same suit and everything.
“Will you be heading out?” Yunho asks as he reaches Changmin.
“Uh, yeah...I think I’m late for work,” Changmin mutters.
“Ah. Don’t worry, we've straightened all of that out. You shouldn’t have any problems.”
Changmin freezes. “You...you what?”
“Just go to work, leave everything unpleasant to us,” Yunho says, a huge warm smile melting Changmin’s face as he pats Changmin’s back.
“Don’t...don’t…do anything. Don’t talk to my boss,” he manages. This is getting fucking weird.
There’s a flash of something tight across Yunho’s face, but he nods.
“Of course. But if you find you need help, don’t hesitate to ask for our assistance.”
“Yeah. Ok,” Changmin says, feeling cold. “What...is there a bill or something?”
“Nope! You’re free to go!”
Yunho just stands there. Still smiling. Changmin nods and takes a few steps back, before turning to get out of there.
He feels eyes on his back right until he slips through the door.
“Wow! I was sure you weren’t going to show up. Long line at the coffee place?” His boss is in a good mood, perched on someone’s desk, wrinkling their paperwork and sipping the black water he calls coffee.
Changmin from a week ago would grit his teeth. Changmin from a week ago would have to stop from slamming his bag down on his desk.
Changmin today just feels...calm. Changmin today smiles more softly than he has in a long time. Changmin today has the lingering scent of flowers and grass stuck to his clothes.
He smiles more in the next week than he has for the past month.
It wears off, though- after long nights and last-minute to-dos, backhanded compliments and earnest concerns about the number of calls he’s made. Changmin realizes he never returned the key to his room at The Blue Moon when he pulls it out of his jacket pocket one evening. He finds himself back in his sneakers instead of pajamas, running through empty streets instead of dreams.
He sees it when he’s staring across the street one night. It’s strange- he swears he’s been looking at the same spot for a while, but he only notices it’s there just then.
He stands up from the bench, a small quiet part of him asking for something. Something like a bath, something like a chestnut latte.
G R A S S M O O N
Yunho’s at the counter, just like last time.
“Welcome back, Changmin,” he says, and pulls out the folder with Changmin’s contract. He opens it to a blank page. “If you would just sign in right here- thank you- your room is the same, unless you’d like to change.”
“No...no- the same room is fine.”
Changmin feels tired. Quiet. Yunho doesn’t seem to mind, leading him to his room and ushering him inside.
The door clicks shut behind him, and Changmin stands in the entryway for a while. The room seems a little bigger today, a little more grand. He walks forward until he reaches a small table with a cup and an envelope on it. The cup is- of course- filled with a steaming hot latte, and he sips it as he opens the envelope.
Inside is another card.
‘We highly recommend taking advantage of our world-class spa services, located on the lower level.’
Changmin runs a hand through his hair and sighs.
He’s in heaven.
There’s something cooling on his face as an attendant- can’t remember the face- massages his back, rubbing into muscles he never realized were so tense. Some kind of fragrant oil is being used and it’s almost putting him to sleep.
It’s too soon when they help him up, and send him off in the direction of the steam baths.
Changmin’s never felt this good.
He doesn’t understand.
“It’s Monday,” he states to the woman on the phone.
“No sir, It’s Tuesday and you’ve missed our contractor, so we’ll have to reschedule. How does...well, we don’t have anything open until Friday. Sorry!”
Changmin blinks, then pulls his calendar over.
It’s Tuesday, apparently.
“Oh. Fine. Then...Friday? I guess? What time?”
“We aren’t able to schedule hourly appointments, so you’ll need the day free. Anytime between 8 AM and 8 PM. Does that day still work for you?”
Changmin rubs a hand over his eyes.
“Ok, yes, fine. Thank you.”
He hangs up and looks at his calendar again.
He’s sure he was at The Blue Moon on Sunday night. Drop dead positive.
More troubling is that if it’s Tuesday...he’s missed work.
His boss is out.
“Yeah?” Cho says, tapping away at his keyboard. “Got some message about a procedure on the voice mail Monday morning- you doing ok?”
“You got a message?” Changmin says, leaning over Cho’s desk.
“Mm hm. No biggie, but boss was pretty annoyed. Probably wanna give that some time to air out. Next time try telling us in advance.”
“Do you still have the message?”
“Nah. Erased it.”
Changmin heads back to his desk, pressing a hand to his cheek.
To be honest, he’s scared.
He avoids The Blue Moon, and he stays in at night. He watches movies and goes out with his friends and gets home before dark.
He takes showers with all the lights on and changes his shampoo to no-fragrance.
F L O W E R M O O N
In the end, he goes back just because.
Just because he’s curious, just because he’s cold, just because he’s feeling more alone surrounded by crowds than he ever did in the empty Blue Moon.
He feels better when he sets foot on dark tile, just because Yunho’s waiting for him with a smile and something new- a hug. Changmin leans into it, trying to hide how tired he feels.
Yunho sees right through it, of course.
“You must be exhausted,” he exclaims. “If I may make a suggestion- please allow me to take you to your room right away.”
Changmin just nods, and lets Yunho leads him to the room.
As usual, the room’s temperature is perfect, and he immediately feels a sense of place, like he was meant to be here. He sinks into the bedding, letting his body fall through layers of softness like it’s a cloud a mile high.
It smells like flowers, and he can’t be bothered to turn the lights off- he’s already asleep.
Maybe it shouldn’t surprise him when he comes back and he’s missed two days.
Changmin should be strict with himself, he should reflect on his laziness and bad manners, but when he picks up the phone and dials his boss, he finds himself sliding his emergency sick days to cover the lost days.
It’s not even hard. His boss grumbles, then mentions he hopes whatever problem Changmin’s trying to deal with isn’t too serious- it’s better to take care of it now, in their off-season, but make sure you get all your tasks taken care of. Changmin wonders about the messages the hotel’s been leaving them. Is it Yunho calling, with his polite yet solid insistence?
He thinks of asking him about it over drinks.
H U N T E R ’ S M O O N
Yunho’s charming, Changmin figures. He watches him over the rim of his glass, something a little more suitable for late nights than lattes- red wine, red like the light that’s filtering down on their table through the high ceiling. Some nondescript jazz is playing, and Changmin finds his glass empty quicker than he’d like.
Yunho’s watching him too, and Changmin doesn’t care as much as he probably should.
“Do you leave those messages?”
Yunho smiles and leans in. “Messages?”
Changmin gives him a flat look. “You tell my work...you tell them I’m going to the hospital or something.”
“No, we do no such thing! We merely notify them of your absence. For your convenience.”
“What are you trying to do to me?” Changmin asks, narrowing his eyes. “Why is the time different?"
Yunho’s hand floats up to Changmin’s forearm, and he finds himself staring dead into Yunho’s face.
“Changmin. Please, don't worry about that. It's...it’s obvious to us- to me- that you’re...well, you’re very...stressed. You give so much of yourself out there. In here...you can relax. You can just take. Leave it all to me.”
Changmin swallows. He feels his heart pounding in his throat, wants to deny something, wants to get up and walk out...but instead his voice comes out strained.
“I hate it. I hate that place. I hate working until 10 pm. I hate my boss and I hate the pressure and the quotas and that this is all I have and will have-” he takes a breath. “I like it here. I hate that I like it here, because it’s so much easier-”
Yunho looks pained, suddenly. His fingers are on Changmin’s cheek. He’s really close, and Changmin just blinks his damp eyes.
“Listen...I’m not supposed to say this. It...It does get better. Out there. Don’t forget that- it gets better if you...if you really want it.”
His voice drops to a whisper.
“This place would be easy. But sometimes easy is not what’s right.”
“Care to explain?” His boss asks, tossing a stapled packet of papers on top of his keyboard. Changmin stares at it, then looks up blankly at his boss.
“What?”
His boss closes the door and pulls up a chair. “Come on, Shim, really. I’ve been pretty lenient. You need to have a good reason for these past few weeks- I mean, your calls are nonexistent.”
Changmin blinks, then shakes his head to clear it. “My calls?” he repeats.
“Calls. Yes. Phone calls. To our clients. The calls that should be happening twice as much as this.”
He speaks slowly, like Changmin’s an idiot.
“I just-” Changmin starts, then tries again. “Um. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”
His boss’ eyes widen and his mouth twists.
“What kind of answer is that? Unless whatever you’ve been busy with is getting some kind of million dollar deal from someone, there is nothing else you should be busy with! I hired you to talk on the phone! That’s it!”
Changmin jams the power button on his computer and stands up, pulling his jacket on.
“I’m leaving early,” he says.
“You- what? What was that?” his boss asks with an incredulous laugh. His mouth pulls back in an ugly grin, and he leans forward. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Sorry,” Changmin says, then turns around and leaves.
O A K M O O NThis time, he heads straight to Yunho’s desk.
“Do you have some time,” Changmin says, all the words coming out in a tumble.
He must look like a mess. He must look flushed and disheveled and wrinkled, because for once he had to really look for this place, but Yunho smiles up at him like he’s the first person he’s seen in decades.
“Of course- there’s dancing in the lounge.”
Changmin tries to catch his breath. “I’m not really…” He has no clue how to dance. “I’m not really dressed for...that.”
“There’s a tuxedo in your closet,” Yunho informs him, still smiling.
Of course.
He lets Yunho pull him onto the dance floor.
Changmin’s never danced before, not really. Somehow, Yunho’s lead turns his clumsy steps into sure ones, his uncertain leaning into graceful swaying.
He hears Yunho whispering that he looks especially fine tonight, how the suit fits him like a glove, how good he looks under the dim golden light, please run it almost has you-
“What?” Changmin says, snapping out of his daze.
“Hm?” Yunho keeps a hand on Changmin’s arm.
“Did you-”
“You look a little worn out, Changmin. Let’s go sit down.”
Now Yunho’s pushing a glass of some kind of wine into his hands and Changmin looks down into it. He feels worn out, now that Yunho mentioned it.
“Yunho, why…”
Yunho scoots forward and dips his head down to look Changmin in the eye.
“Why what?”
“Why doesn’t it match up?” Changmin takes a breath and raises his head. “Why is the time getting longer? And it's...it's always the same here-”
Yunho just watches him for a moment.
“Can I help you to your room,” he says.
Changmin rubs his eyes once, twice, and nods.
“Is it me,” Changmin asks Yunho, once he’s sitting on his bed. He sinks into the pile of pillows, hiding his face and sighing into the darkness that calms his aching head. “Am I losing it?”
“It’s not you,” Yunho says quietly, from somewhere behind him.
Changmin almost laughs, because he has to be losing it- inviting the concierge to his room, dancing, drinking with him, even though it’s Yunho and
He sits up.
“And I'm gonna ruin everything for you because I'm still not happy. It’s like I met you before. How do you know everything I like? All the right things to do? How do you look right, how do you act just like...”
Changmin leans closer to Yunho.
"Yunho...when's the next blue moon?"
Yunho’s hands run across his face and he’s lost.
Someone he’s lost. Lost, as in, he can’t remember. He’s lost this man before, and there’s a hole in Changmin’s world where he was.
The smell of empty alleyways and flowers fill his senses, forgotten places materialize behind his eyelids, things that shouldn’t be found and beings who hide there- beings who lure and cajole with whatever you could possibly want-
Changmin opens his eyes. The light in the room is different. How long has it been? He’s scared.
Yunho looks down at him with sad eyes. “You...probably shouldn’t come back here again, Changmin,” he says.
It’s such an abrupt statement, it throws Changmin.
“What? Where did that come from?” he asks.
“You don’t belong here. The Blue Moon would love to keep you. I'm supposed to want that too. I need to want that. But... I don't. I want you to be happy. Happy out there, because you're going to give up something terrible. Just go. Go, and try to be happy. It’s hard but I know you can do it. You have to get out.”
Changmin sits there upon thousand thread count sheets and soft feather pillows, and feels hollowed out.
He does try. He changes back into his regular clothes and think maybe he’s actually strong enough to do this- but he’s falling asleep even as he hurries down the hallway.
Things here would be easy.
It makes him stop short. Remembering his real life is nothing but the same.
He’s in the entryway again- beautiful darkness, cool and inviting, next to the harsh glare of the streetlamps outside, where people are waiting for him and he hasn’t paid rent and the fridge is empty- and he…
He…
He’s so tired.
B L U E M O O N
Changmin wakes up with a sense of wrongness- someone’s in his room. He's back in the sweet smelling covers, somehow, back in the gorgeous five-star suite. It's half-dark, in the grey way of the time before sunrise. He struggles to open his eyes fully, glaring at the intruder.
“Yun...Yunho?” he rasps, barely able to keep his head up. “What’re you doin’ here-”
“Shh,” Yunho says, leaning close. The lights come on in a pulse, dim and warm. Yunho looks more disheveled than Changmin’s ever seen him. He looks...upset.
He strokes Changmin’s hair and neck, then grabs his arm.
“We don’t have much time. I’ll give you anything you want, if you’ll just leave. Please, you’re in danger. It’s the final night. It hasn't made you happy..it’ll take you.”
Changmin jerks out of his hold. “What if I want it to take me?”
The soft golden lights lend an air of intimacy, however out of place. Changmin would find it comforting, but Yunho’s in his room telling him to leave the hotel and-
“I don’t want to leave,” he says. “I...I don’t care about anything out there. I won’t leave if you can’t.”
Yunho frowns. He comes closer, trapping Changmin against the pillows.
“What’s your wish, Changmin? What would make you happy again?”
“I want to be where you are.”
Yunho recoils slightly, then swoops down and buries Changmin in an embrace. He smells like soap. He smells human.
“You...no, Changmin. You have a life. Don’t give it up like this.”
“Like you did?”
Yunho drops him so fast Changmin can’t even catch himself. But his face isn’t angry- it’s horrified.
Changmin lays on the pillows, without the strength to push himself back up.
“I’m not like you,” he says to Yunho, voice flat. “I’m not tricked. I’m not a good person. I’m lazy. There’s nothing that can satisfy me, because there’s nothing I want.”
Except…
“I want to see you. I want to see you- outside of this hotel. I want to end this. I want to own this place,” Changmin says and he can feel it now, the power behind every one of his words. “It has to give that to me, right? That’s the deal? If it can make me happy before this last night ends, I win.”
Yunho is just staring down at him.
Changmin closes his eyes, smiling. He wants one thing, and he feels the walls around him, furious but they know what he wants and they’re going to give it to him.
“I fucking win.”
Changmin doesn’t have a lot of time.
His schedule is busier than the bustling halls of his hotel- interview with Accommodation magazine at quarter to eleven, lunch with some pushy heavyweight at noon, regional conference call at two, preparing the staff for three events in each of the hotel’s venues, and that’s all before his nighttime schedule, when things get weird- it’s enough to drive him to drink.
There’s already a chestnut latte on his desk when he rushes into his office.
Jung Yunho is leaning against his desk with a smile, wearing some absolutely dingy running clothes. Tinny music plays from the headphones around his neck.
“Having a good day, boss?”
“Best I’ve ever had,” Changmin says, snatching up the latte and perching on his desk next to Yunho. “Having a nice run? How far?”
“Stopped counting around fifty.”
“Must be nice!” Changmin says with an exaggerated sigh. He sips the latte before looking at Yunho with wide eyes. “This is good,” he says. “Where’d you get it?”
“Cafe near your apartment,” Yunho says. “I haven’t forgotten all my tricks.”
Changmin leans into him, resting his head against Yunho’s.
“The Blue Moon stays alive thanks to the happiness of our guests and staff,” he murmurs.
“And The Blue Moon thanks its hotelier for keeping those guests and staff happy,” Yunho says, turning to Changmin and ducking in.
The kiss is in-between delicate and unremarkable, but Changmin can’t help but smile into it because it tastes like his drink and Yunho’s already laughing.
This was a monster. lmao I didn't actually plan that ending, it just ended up being like that when I was writing Changmin's part and then he destroyed my tragic ending and was like 'I WIN' and omg it just got worse from there
Rating: PG
Pairing: Homin
Genre: AU
Summary: There's being eaten, then there's being devoured. Something worse will happen unless you figure it out- a fate much worse than a dull life. It all falls down around you, but there’s always a room and an offer of absolution at The Blue Moon.
B L A C K M O O N
As an adult, it’s an uncomplicated matter if you want to disappear.
It's so tempting. Those dark spaces at the edge of the city, that train that goes to the unfamiliar stop, the distance a full tank of gas can take you in the wrong direction.
He focuses on getting one foot in front of the other, over and over, until his feet slapping the pavement are a steady cadence, filling the dark streets with his own beat. Each street lamp is a beacon. They fade out the stars above with their shine. The moon is inconspicuous in its absence- the people of the huge city haven’t depended on its light in decades.
The cold air ices his throat and lungs, but it’s thousands of times better than biting his tongue, always. Better than his boss berating him for a mistake that had nothing to do with him, better than his friend laughing with nervous uncertainty- ‘Oh shit, I didn’t think you were actually...you don’t like me, right?’
He runs faster to pump it out of his system.
You made it awkward. Not me.
Just another night, like the ones before and the ones after. Another night that Changmin is trying his hardest to convince himself there is something more waiting for him. Another night where he’s being a little greedy, where the city and the people and the stagnant mediocrity are not satisfying the burning desire for more. Another night where it’s all he can do to not cut and run, run away from this place and this life and these people that tie him down and make him stay.
Another night where he will run to the mountain forest and waver at the treeline like a coward, too spineless to step inside and let it eat him up.
He finally stops to catch his breath, leaning against some dark building and panting misty little clouds into the air. He can’t help but hear what everything around him is telling him, humming and buzzing loud and clear:
This can’t be all there is.
It’s a scary thought, when it comes at 2 AM in the middle of an empty street. The type of traitorous thought that blindsides him, reverberating around his ribcage and filling it so sweetly up with doubt. Changmin wonders if he’s going to throw up. His back is icy with sweat.
Suddenly, his shadow is cast upon the ground, and his tall, lean frame is silhouetted on the cement by cool white light. The frosted glass doors of the building behind him are lit up. Changmin is surprised, what kind of place would open now of all times? It seems too early for opening procedures.
The thin black letters across the glass only identify the building as ‘THE BLUE MOON’. The entry lighting is clever, bright but extremely concentrated so that it only illuminates the doors and the sidewalk where Changmin is standing.
Changmin looks down the street, and tries to remember what people say about places that open at 2 AM. Nothing good, in any case. The place looks fancy and sophisticated, and he’s in leggings and a sweaty track jacket.
But he’s tired, and he doesn’t care anymore- something tugs at his arms and a strange feeling of anticipation surges as the leaves in the trees rustle.
He hopes it’s not some kind of weird new strip club as he grabs the metal handle and pulls.
The lobby is- well, it’s gorgeous. Everything is spacious and pristine, black polished wood and granite in clean lines and lush green foliage. It’s also very dark, with sharp pinpoints of light here and there breaking up the shadows. There’s a cold, airy silence, and there’s not a soul in sight. Changmin wonders if maybe the sign outside was wrong. Nothing here supports the sign’s claim that the place is open. He takes another step and takes a deep breath. The air has an unusual smell, like metal.
On one side of the room, there’s an empty counter that spans the length of the wall. A huge art installation spans the other wall, made up of what looks like hundreds of little metal sticks.
Changmin is so busy taking in the place that he fails to notice another presence until someone clears their throat. He spins around in shock, noticing a man at the counter that was definitely not there a second ago.
“Um, hello,” Changmin manages to say, flushing and suddenly feeling even more under-dressed.
The man is in a sleek black and brown suit, matching the interior. A tiny gold pin shines from the lapel.
He smiles at Changmin, a slash of perfectly white teeth against sharp, handsome features, and he bows.
“Good evening, sir, and welcome to The Blue Moon. Concierge, at your service. How can I help you tonight?”
Changmin bows way too deeply, and springs back up. He wills himself to have some composure.
“I- uh, no, just...what is this place?”
The man smiles and pushes something across the counter. Changmin moves a bit closer and sees it’s a business card. He bobs his head in thanks and accepts the card.
It’s matte black with ‘THE BLUE MOON’ printed in glossy ink that only shows when it catches the light. On the back, tiny silver letters state ‘reservations always welcome’, and ‘luxury accommodations for 1100 years’.
“Ah, a hotel? Is it really that old? I’ve never noticed it before...” Changmin says. The man nods.
“Yes, we cater to clientele that often lead very stressful lifestyles. We try to alleviate that stress and create a healing environment where they can renew themselves. As for our longetivity, we tend to keep a low profile. But the company was indeed founded centuries ago.”
Okay, so Changmin is very, very out of place.
“That’s very impressive. I’m sorry for barging in, I didn’t realize this was a hotel or anything...,” he says, backing away and bowing repeatedly.
“There’s no need to apologize, as you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t need it,” the man says.
“Oh, no, I mean, I’m not, uh, a customer-”
“Of course you aren’t, you’re our guest.” The man pulls a piece of paper out of nowhere and lays a silver pen next to it. “Please don’t concern yourself with the details. Your time here is ‘on the house’, as you might call it. I can show you around and we can talk about how to best help you. No pressure, but if it piques your interest, we can create a contract.”
Changmin expects to sign something, but the man just leaves it there as he walks around the counter.
Changmin’s always been very talented at getting himself into awkward situations without saying one word. The talent doesn’t fail him today. It doesn’t fail him as the man gently leads him by his elbow out of the lobby and into a dim hallway lined with doors and little tables. A single orchid is set on each table. Changmin is severely worried about the cost of even breathing the air here.
“You can call me Yunho, by the way,” the man says.
“Uh, my name is Shim Changmin." Changmin turns to look at Yunho and jumps when he realizes how close they’re walking, despite the space on either side of them.
“I’ll show you the courtyard first,” Yunho says, oblivious to Changmin’s discomfort.
The courtyard is just as gorgeous as the lobby. So are the fitness facilities. And the theatre. And the ballroom, and the infinity pool, and the spa. And the concierge, for that matter, with his broad shoulders and his neat, trim haircut.
They end up in front of a black oak door. Room 919. Yunho nods towards it.
“And, during your time here, this will be your home away from home,” he says. He pulls something out of his pocket. It’s a key, but instead of something sleek, it’s old, silver and tarnished. Yunho holds it out to him, and when Changmin takes it, he sees the bow is in the image of a chrysanthemum.
“The keys are originals from when the hotel first opened. This was once called the Chrysanthemum room.”
Changmin swallows. He figures a quick peak into the room wouldn’t hurt. He can leave right after.
The door opens to reveal a softly lit suite, everything beautiful and elegant among the shadows.
“Um,” Changmin says, and takes a step inside. “I’m sorry, it’s a lovely room, but-”
He turns, and Yunho’s standing in the doorway, blocking the way with his arms just touching the frame.
“I will leave you to your room,” he says, “but I have one recommendation, since it is so late: try not to wander the halls more than necessary, and for your own safety, stay within the hotel grounds until sunrise. The room should have all the amenities you require. If you need anything else, the phone is a direct link to me.”
The door is shut before Changmin can reply.
He’s left standing in the entryway, a calm silence pressing at his back.
After ten minutes of indecision, Changmin gives up the battle and gets ready to spend the hours until sunrise in the room. A set of clothes in his size hang in the closet- no labels, he notices- and a set of pajamas are neatly folded by the huge pillows on the bed.
Yunho didn’t lie- somehow, the cabinets in the expansive bathroom are stocked with all Changmin’s favorite products in miniature. There’s a book on a stand next to the bathtub, by an author he hasn’t heard of.
Changmin suddenly feels dirty in his running clothes. He decides to take advantage of the giant tub, and turns on the hot water. There’s little bath beads to throw in that fill the room with the scent of flowers and grass.
He sinks into the water and feels his mind float to the surface.
For the first time in weeks, he feels weightless.
Even though hours have surely passed, the water never goes cold. Changmin finally climbs out of the tub, stepping on the heated tiles. There’s a single black envelope on the bed when he emerges from the bathroom, marked with just his name in curling silver script. He picks it up and falls back onto fuck the softest, puffiest comforter he’s ever felt. Inside the envelope is a card with a sliver of crescent moon.
“You are cordially invited to join us in The Blue Moon Lounge for an evening of drinks and music,” he reads.
The Blue Moon Lounge isn't something he'll be able to describe to any of his friends, that's for sure. He shows the card to the host, and takes it all in.
It's a coffeeshop from this angle and a bar from another and if you close your eyes for a second it seems to be whatever you need. There's soft, thick live music playing, but the genre keeps changing- between arriving and being ushered to his seat, Changmin's heard a piano fade out and a saxophone take its place.
The waiter just kind of fades into the background as Changmin opens the menu. It becomes very apparent that he is hungry, or thirsty, or something- he hasn't eaten for hours.
A plate of croissants is placed in front of him. Changmin looks up and jumps. It's Yunho.
"Good evening, Mr. Shim. I trust you found your room more than acceptable?"
Changmin nods.
"Uh, yeah, it's...it's good. Listen, this is a really nice hotel, but are you sure that I-"
Yunho holds up a hand. Changmin stops.
"May I?" Yunho asks, gesturing to the seat across from Changmin.
"Sure."
Yunho slides into the seat way more gracefully than Changmin's ever thought possible.
"Can I get you anything? A hot drink? Maybe a cold one?" he asks, with a motion to the waiter.
Changmin crosses his arms. "What's good?"
Yunho grins. "Two chestnut lattes, please." He places his elbows on the table, making himself comfortable.
A chill runs down Changmin’s spine.
“My favorite,” he mutters. “Of course. Let me guess, it’s fresh from the cafe near my apartment.”
Yunho just keeps smiling.
"I informed you this stay was completely on the house, of course. So please, don't worry about any financial burdens or obligations."
Changmin leans forward. "You mentioned a contract or something."
"Ah, yes. If, and only if, you find The Blue Moon to be...well, an entity you would like to continue a relationship with, we can discuss a package for your specific needs."
Changmin stares at him.
"...is this place a brothel or something?"
Yunho bursts out in laughter, sharp and loud. Changmin glances around into the dark lounge, but there doesn't even seem to be any other guests to mind. It takes at least half a minute for Yunho's laughter to die down, and he does so with a little sigh of amusement.
"Mr. Shim, you have an excellent sense of humor," he says, and then he's all of a sudden looking at Changmin like he's standing miles away. Changmin ignores the pang of- whatever it is, it's painful- and clears his throat. Two lattes are placed in front of them, but the waiter is gone like smoke before Changmin can say 'thank you'.
"Can I just...okay, I think got your thing, that you're some kind of...hotel for super rich people to secretly relax at. But um, I'm definitely not- I'm not as wealthy as you seem to think I am. I can't afford-"
"Ah." Yunho places his hand halfway across the table. Changmin finds himself trailing off again.
"Mr. Shim."
"Changmin," Changmin mutters.
"...Changmin. Changmin, you are our guest. At The Blue Moon, we are dedicated to providing anything our guests need or want- even if they don't know they do."
Changmin pinches the bridge of his nose. "But-"
"As such, if you need our services...it is our obligation to fulfill that need. If you need this contract...it is our obligation to create it with terms that you will be fully able to abide by."
Changmin tilts his head. "So essentially...this is a brothel and you're asking me to sign away the next ten years of my life to make up the overhead."
Yunho laughs, much more briefly this time. He pulls a leather bound folio from somewhere next to him.
"Please, just consider this. It's a draft of the contract. I think you'll find it very...accommodating."
Changmin stares Yunho down, then sighs. "Ok," he says. "Let's see it."
Yunh slides the folio across the table. It's all black with that silver type scrolling across it, and Changmin's breath catches when underneath 'THE BLUE MOON', he sees 'Contract of Mr. Shim Changmin'.
"We specialize in a personal experience from beginning to end," Yunho explains as Changmin opens the folio.
Inside lies a single, shimmery piece of paper. Couched amidst far too many strangely archaic legal terms is a fairly simple exchange: 'Shim Changmin (hereforth referred to as the 'guest’) will partake of the services offered by The Blue Moon Club (hereforth referred to as the 'host'). Services will be offered on a by-necessity basis by the discretion of the host. No payment is necessary unless services are terminated by the guest. The guest will offer payment based on the guest's station and negotiation.’
Changmin glances up at Yunho. "So...basically, as long as I stay here, I don't have to pay."
Yunho shakes his head. "You may come and go as you please. The caveat is that you must stay a guest."
"I need to keep coming back? Like...once a month, or what?"
"If you feel like it. We'll be ready when you need us. You don't have to worry about arranging anything."
Changmin looks at Yunho long and hard. "I'm guessing the balance I'd need to pay gets bigger the longer I stay on the contract?"
"Ah," Yunho says, smiling. "Always a clever one. Yes. There is one, non-negotiable condition..."
Changmin leans back. Here it is.
"We operate on a slightly unique calendar here at The Blue Moon Club. Would you believe it's based on the blue moon?"
"Imagine that," Changmin says, eyes narrowed. "Go on."
"The blue moon, or rather, the extra full moon occurs once every two to three years. Coincidentally, our performance reviews as staff also take place at that time. Now, our only objective is to fulfill our guests’ wishes. However...if, by the time of the blue moon, we have a guest that remains unsatisfied...well, we are unfortunately required to forcibly terminate the contract.”
“What does that mean, ‘forcibly’?” Changmin says, unable to tear his eyes away from Yunho.
“Our clients get very...attached to The Blue Moon. In almost all cases, it can be hard to remove them from our care.”
“That’s it? You just...stop service?”
“We stop our hosting, yes.”
Changmin doesn’t like the sound of it. He doesn’t trust it. But there’s something about the music that’s playing, and it’s so familiar, and Yunho’s looking at him with these eyes like he’s an old friend, and he picks up a pen that’s next to him.
There’s nothing left for you back there.
“Okay.”
The ink slides smooth and fast, and Changmin almost loses his lunch when he glances up and something looks out from Yunho’s eyes that isn’t placed right. It’s gone when he laughs and collects the folio. He stands up and offers a hand to Changmin.
“Welcome to The Blue Moon, Changmin. Now, you might want to head back to your room, it’s getting a bit late.”
The last thing he expects is to fall asleep so easily.
He wakes up feeling new, the sheets whispering heaven-like against his skin. There’s no clock in sight, and he finds he doesn’t care about the time.
The halls are empty, much like they were last night. Muted light streams in from tall windows. There’s an open room with an assortment of breakfast foods and drinks set out, and he helps himself to a pitcher of ...chestnut latte.
“You’re kidding me,” he breathes out, stopping himself from peeking under the tablecloth. He settles for glancing over his shoulder. No Yunho in sight.
The latte’s good, but he has to take it to-go. By the look of the light, it’s mid-morning, which means he’s absolutely late.
Changmin can feel little twists of dread pulsing in his stomach, but he makes his way to the lobby, bolstered by sips of the warm, sweet latte. The lobby is silent. He drifts over to the counter, peering over the top.
“Changmin!”
Changmin turns to see Yunho striding in, grinning wide and looking...exactly the same as he did before. Same suit and everything.
“Will you be heading out?” Yunho asks as he reaches Changmin.
“Uh, yeah...I think I’m late for work,” Changmin mutters.
“Ah. Don’t worry, we've straightened all of that out. You shouldn’t have any problems.”
Changmin freezes. “You...you what?”
“Just go to work, leave everything unpleasant to us,” Yunho says, a huge warm smile melting Changmin’s face as he pats Changmin’s back.
“Don’t...don’t…do anything. Don’t talk to my boss,” he manages. This is getting fucking weird.
There’s a flash of something tight across Yunho’s face, but he nods.
“Of course. But if you find you need help, don’t hesitate to ask for our assistance.”
“Yeah. Ok,” Changmin says, feeling cold. “What...is there a bill or something?”
“Nope! You’re free to go!”
Yunho just stands there. Still smiling. Changmin nods and takes a few steps back, before turning to get out of there.
He feels eyes on his back right until he slips through the door.
“Wow! I was sure you weren’t going to show up. Long line at the coffee place?” His boss is in a good mood, perched on someone’s desk, wrinkling their paperwork and sipping the black water he calls coffee.
Changmin from a week ago would grit his teeth. Changmin from a week ago would have to stop from slamming his bag down on his desk.
Changmin today just feels...calm. Changmin today smiles more softly than he has in a long time. Changmin today has the lingering scent of flowers and grass stuck to his clothes.
He smiles more in the next week than he has for the past month.
It wears off, though- after long nights and last-minute to-dos, backhanded compliments and earnest concerns about the number of calls he’s made. Changmin realizes he never returned the key to his room at The Blue Moon when he pulls it out of his jacket pocket one evening. He finds himself back in his sneakers instead of pajamas, running through empty streets instead of dreams.
He sees it when he’s staring across the street one night. It’s strange- he swears he’s been looking at the same spot for a while, but he only notices it’s there just then.
He stands up from the bench, a small quiet part of him asking for something. Something like a bath, something like a chestnut latte.
G R A S S M O O N
Yunho’s at the counter, just like last time.
“Welcome back, Changmin,” he says, and pulls out the folder with Changmin’s contract. He opens it to a blank page. “If you would just sign in right here- thank you- your room is the same, unless you’d like to change.”
“No...no- the same room is fine.”
Changmin feels tired. Quiet. Yunho doesn’t seem to mind, leading him to his room and ushering him inside.
The door clicks shut behind him, and Changmin stands in the entryway for a while. The room seems a little bigger today, a little more grand. He walks forward until he reaches a small table with a cup and an envelope on it. The cup is- of course- filled with a steaming hot latte, and he sips it as he opens the envelope.
Inside is another card.
‘We highly recommend taking advantage of our world-class spa services, located on the lower level.’
Changmin runs a hand through his hair and sighs.
He’s in heaven.
There’s something cooling on his face as an attendant- can’t remember the face- massages his back, rubbing into muscles he never realized were so tense. Some kind of fragrant oil is being used and it’s almost putting him to sleep.
It’s too soon when they help him up, and send him off in the direction of the steam baths.
Changmin’s never felt this good.
He doesn’t understand.
“It’s Monday,” he states to the woman on the phone.
“No sir, It’s Tuesday and you’ve missed our contractor, so we’ll have to reschedule. How does...well, we don’t have anything open until Friday. Sorry!”
Changmin blinks, then pulls his calendar over.
It’s Tuesday, apparently.
“Oh. Fine. Then...Friday? I guess? What time?”
“We aren’t able to schedule hourly appointments, so you’ll need the day free. Anytime between 8 AM and 8 PM. Does that day still work for you?”
Changmin rubs a hand over his eyes.
“Ok, yes, fine. Thank you.”
He hangs up and looks at his calendar again.
He’s sure he was at The Blue Moon on Sunday night. Drop dead positive.
More troubling is that if it’s Tuesday...he’s missed work.
His boss is out.
“Yeah?” Cho says, tapping away at his keyboard. “Got some message about a procedure on the voice mail Monday morning- you doing ok?”
“You got a message?” Changmin says, leaning over Cho’s desk.
“Mm hm. No biggie, but boss was pretty annoyed. Probably wanna give that some time to air out. Next time try telling us in advance.”
“Do you still have the message?”
“Nah. Erased it.”
Changmin heads back to his desk, pressing a hand to his cheek.
To be honest, he’s scared.
He avoids The Blue Moon, and he stays in at night. He watches movies and goes out with his friends and gets home before dark.
He takes showers with all the lights on and changes his shampoo to no-fragrance.
F L O W E R M O O N
In the end, he goes back just because.
Just because he’s curious, just because he’s cold, just because he’s feeling more alone surrounded by crowds than he ever did in the empty Blue Moon.
He feels better when he sets foot on dark tile, just because Yunho’s waiting for him with a smile and something new- a hug. Changmin leans into it, trying to hide how tired he feels.
Yunho sees right through it, of course.
“You must be exhausted,” he exclaims. “If I may make a suggestion- please allow me to take you to your room right away.”
Changmin just nods, and lets Yunho leads him to the room.
As usual, the room’s temperature is perfect, and he immediately feels a sense of place, like he was meant to be here. He sinks into the bedding, letting his body fall through layers of softness like it’s a cloud a mile high.
It smells like flowers, and he can’t be bothered to turn the lights off- he’s already asleep.
Maybe it shouldn’t surprise him when he comes back and he’s missed two days.
Changmin should be strict with himself, he should reflect on his laziness and bad manners, but when he picks up the phone and dials his boss, he finds himself sliding his emergency sick days to cover the lost days.
It’s not even hard. His boss grumbles, then mentions he hopes whatever problem Changmin’s trying to deal with isn’t too serious- it’s better to take care of it now, in their off-season, but make sure you get all your tasks taken care of. Changmin wonders about the messages the hotel’s been leaving them. Is it Yunho calling, with his polite yet solid insistence?
He thinks of asking him about it over drinks.
H U N T E R ’ S M O O N
Yunho’s charming, Changmin figures. He watches him over the rim of his glass, something a little more suitable for late nights than lattes- red wine, red like the light that’s filtering down on their table through the high ceiling. Some nondescript jazz is playing, and Changmin finds his glass empty quicker than he’d like.
Yunho’s watching him too, and Changmin doesn’t care as much as he probably should.
“Do you leave those messages?”
Yunho smiles and leans in. “Messages?”
Changmin gives him a flat look. “You tell my work...you tell them I’m going to the hospital or something.”
“No, we do no such thing! We merely notify them of your absence. For your convenience.”
“What are you trying to do to me?” Changmin asks, narrowing his eyes. “Why is the time different?"
Yunho’s hand floats up to Changmin’s forearm, and he finds himself staring dead into Yunho’s face.
“Changmin. Please, don't worry about that. It's...it’s obvious to us- to me- that you’re...well, you’re very...stressed. You give so much of yourself out there. In here...you can relax. You can just take. Leave it all to me.”
Changmin swallows. He feels his heart pounding in his throat, wants to deny something, wants to get up and walk out...but instead his voice comes out strained.
“I hate it. I hate that place. I hate working until 10 pm. I hate my boss and I hate the pressure and the quotas and that this is all I have and will have-” he takes a breath. “I like it here. I hate that I like it here, because it’s so much easier-”
Yunho looks pained, suddenly. His fingers are on Changmin’s cheek. He’s really close, and Changmin just blinks his damp eyes.
“Listen...I’m not supposed to say this. It...It does get better. Out there. Don’t forget that- it gets better if you...if you really want it.”
His voice drops to a whisper.
“This place would be easy. But sometimes easy is not what’s right.”
“Care to explain?” His boss asks, tossing a stapled packet of papers on top of his keyboard. Changmin stares at it, then looks up blankly at his boss.
“What?”
His boss closes the door and pulls up a chair. “Come on, Shim, really. I’ve been pretty lenient. You need to have a good reason for these past few weeks- I mean, your calls are nonexistent.”
Changmin blinks, then shakes his head to clear it. “My calls?” he repeats.
“Calls. Yes. Phone calls. To our clients. The calls that should be happening twice as much as this.”
He speaks slowly, like Changmin’s an idiot.
“I just-” Changmin starts, then tries again. “Um. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”
His boss’ eyes widen and his mouth twists.
“What kind of answer is that? Unless whatever you’ve been busy with is getting some kind of million dollar deal from someone, there is nothing else you should be busy with! I hired you to talk on the phone! That’s it!”
Changmin jams the power button on his computer and stands up, pulling his jacket on.
“I’m leaving early,” he says.
“You- what? What was that?” his boss asks with an incredulous laugh. His mouth pulls back in an ugly grin, and he leans forward. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Sorry,” Changmin says, then turns around and leaves.
O A K M O O NThis time, he heads straight to Yunho’s desk.
“Do you have some time,” Changmin says, all the words coming out in a tumble.
He must look like a mess. He must look flushed and disheveled and wrinkled, because for once he had to really look for this place, but Yunho smiles up at him like he’s the first person he’s seen in decades.
“Of course- there’s dancing in the lounge.”
Changmin tries to catch his breath. “I’m not really…” He has no clue how to dance. “I’m not really dressed for...that.”
“There’s a tuxedo in your closet,” Yunho informs him, still smiling.
Of course.
He lets Yunho pull him onto the dance floor.
Changmin’s never danced before, not really. Somehow, Yunho’s lead turns his clumsy steps into sure ones, his uncertain leaning into graceful swaying.
He hears Yunho whispering that he looks especially fine tonight, how the suit fits him like a glove, how good he looks under the dim golden light, please run it almost has you-
“What?” Changmin says, snapping out of his daze.
“Hm?” Yunho keeps a hand on Changmin’s arm.
“Did you-”
“You look a little worn out, Changmin. Let’s go sit down.”
Now Yunho’s pushing a glass of some kind of wine into his hands and Changmin looks down into it. He feels worn out, now that Yunho mentioned it.
“Yunho, why…”
Yunho scoots forward and dips his head down to look Changmin in the eye.
“Why what?”
“Why doesn’t it match up?” Changmin takes a breath and raises his head. “Why is the time getting longer? And it's...it's always the same here-”
Yunho just watches him for a moment.
“Can I help you to your room,” he says.
Changmin rubs his eyes once, twice, and nods.
“Is it me,” Changmin asks Yunho, once he’s sitting on his bed. He sinks into the pile of pillows, hiding his face and sighing into the darkness that calms his aching head. “Am I losing it?”
“It’s not you,” Yunho says quietly, from somewhere behind him.
Changmin almost laughs, because he has to be losing it- inviting the concierge to his room, dancing, drinking with him, even though it’s Yunho and
He sits up.
“And I'm gonna ruin everything for you because I'm still not happy. It’s like I met you before. How do you know everything I like? All the right things to do? How do you look right, how do you act just like...”
Changmin leans closer to Yunho.
"Yunho...when's the next blue moon?"
Yunho’s hands run across his face and he’s lost.
Someone he’s lost. Lost, as in, he can’t remember. He’s lost this man before, and there’s a hole in Changmin’s world where he was.
The smell of empty alleyways and flowers fill his senses, forgotten places materialize behind his eyelids, things that shouldn’t be found and beings who hide there- beings who lure and cajole with whatever you could possibly want-
Changmin opens his eyes. The light in the room is different. How long has it been? He’s scared.
Yunho looks down at him with sad eyes. “You...probably shouldn’t come back here again, Changmin,” he says.
It’s such an abrupt statement, it throws Changmin.
“What? Where did that come from?” he asks.
“You don’t belong here. The Blue Moon would love to keep you. I'm supposed to want that too. I need to want that. But... I don't. I want you to be happy. Happy out there, because you're going to give up something terrible. Just go. Go, and try to be happy. It’s hard but I know you can do it. You have to get out.”
Changmin sits there upon thousand thread count sheets and soft feather pillows, and feels hollowed out.
He does try. He changes back into his regular clothes and think maybe he’s actually strong enough to do this- but he’s falling asleep even as he hurries down the hallway.
Things here would be easy.
It makes him stop short. Remembering his real life is nothing but the same.
He’s in the entryway again- beautiful darkness, cool and inviting, next to the harsh glare of the streetlamps outside, where people are waiting for him and he hasn’t paid rent and the fridge is empty- and he…
He…
He’s so tired.
B L U E M O O N
Changmin wakes up with a sense of wrongness- someone’s in his room. He's back in the sweet smelling covers, somehow, back in the gorgeous five-star suite. It's half-dark, in the grey way of the time before sunrise. He struggles to open his eyes fully, glaring at the intruder.
“Yun...Yunho?” he rasps, barely able to keep his head up. “What’re you doin’ here-”
“Shh,” Yunho says, leaning close. The lights come on in a pulse, dim and warm. Yunho looks more disheveled than Changmin’s ever seen him. He looks...upset.
He strokes Changmin’s hair and neck, then grabs his arm.
“We don’t have much time. I’ll give you anything you want, if you’ll just leave. Please, you’re in danger. It’s the final night. It hasn't made you happy..it’ll take you.”
Changmin jerks out of his hold. “What if I want it to take me?”
The soft golden lights lend an air of intimacy, however out of place. Changmin would find it comforting, but Yunho’s in his room telling him to leave the hotel and-
“I don’t want to leave,” he says. “I...I don’t care about anything out there. I won’t leave if you can’t.”
Yunho frowns. He comes closer, trapping Changmin against the pillows.
“What’s your wish, Changmin? What would make you happy again?”
“I want to be where you are.”
Yunho recoils slightly, then swoops down and buries Changmin in an embrace. He smells like soap. He smells human.
“You...no, Changmin. You have a life. Don’t give it up like this.”
“Like you did?”
Yunho drops him so fast Changmin can’t even catch himself. But his face isn’t angry- it’s horrified.
Changmin lays on the pillows, without the strength to push himself back up.
“I’m not like you,” he says to Yunho, voice flat. “I’m not tricked. I’m not a good person. I’m lazy. There’s nothing that can satisfy me, because there’s nothing I want.”
Except…
“I want to see you. I want to see you- outside of this hotel. I want to end this. I want to own this place,” Changmin says and he can feel it now, the power behind every one of his words. “It has to give that to me, right? That’s the deal? If it can make me happy before this last night ends, I win.”
Yunho is just staring down at him.
Changmin closes his eyes, smiling. He wants one thing, and he feels the walls around him, furious but they know what he wants and they’re going to give it to him.
“I fucking win.”
Changmin doesn’t have a lot of time.
His schedule is busier than the bustling halls of his hotel- interview with Accommodation magazine at quarter to eleven, lunch with some pushy heavyweight at noon, regional conference call at two, preparing the staff for three events in each of the hotel’s venues, and that’s all before his nighttime schedule, when things get weird- it’s enough to drive him to drink.
There’s already a chestnut latte on his desk when he rushes into his office.
Jung Yunho is leaning against his desk with a smile, wearing some absolutely dingy running clothes. Tinny music plays from the headphones around his neck.
“Having a good day, boss?”
“Best I’ve ever had,” Changmin says, snatching up the latte and perching on his desk next to Yunho. “Having a nice run? How far?”
“Stopped counting around fifty.”
“Must be nice!” Changmin says with an exaggerated sigh. He sips the latte before looking at Yunho with wide eyes. “This is good,” he says. “Where’d you get it?”
“Cafe near your apartment,” Yunho says. “I haven’t forgotten all my tricks.”
Changmin leans into him, resting his head against Yunho’s.
“The Blue Moon stays alive thanks to the happiness of our guests and staff,” he murmurs.
“And The Blue Moon thanks its hotelier for keeping those guests and staff happy,” Yunho says, turning to Changmin and ducking in.
The kiss is in-between delicate and unremarkable, but Changmin can’t help but smile into it because it tastes like his drink and Yunho’s already laughing.
This was a monster. lmao I didn't actually plan that ending, it just ended up being like that when I was writing Changmin's part and then he destroyed my tragic ending and was like 'I WIN' and omg it just got worse from there